Paid Members Accident Prone Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 2 hours ago, simonworden said: Going to start with a few online ones that annoy the piss out of me. - People who post selfies every fucking day - People who put up pictures of themselves looking soulful or doing yoga etc with the caption being some fluff advice or quote that deep down doesn't make any sense - People who do the above but actually spend the time to write the quote stick it on a photo of themselves through photo editing software and post it online thinking they are important enough to do that. Fuck people who are inspirational don't do that themselves so just fuck right off. - People who do the above but with other peoples quotes I think you need to get off social media, fella. 2 hours ago, simonworden said: - Restaurants not having things on the menu in with no justifiable reason apart from the kitchen is run by a bunch of twats. What the fuck does this even mean? Please explain. Are you trying to order mashed potatoes from Subway or something? 2 hours ago, simonworden said: -Electronics shops who think I need them to set up my new product and then do a horrible job of choosing the settings and software. Had to reset my new laptop before using as the fuckers had put all this Vietnamese designed shit onto the computer when my back was turned as they refused to give me the product without setting it up. I can almost guarantee that this didn't happen like that unless you went to a dodgy shop. I worked at the tech department at a computer store for seven years and we never installed anything without asking first. I think you just gave into their 'laptop setup' sales pitch as they would charge for any installation services (which you obviously had to agree at some point). No store worth it's salt is going to spend time sticking software on a machine for free. 2 hours ago, simonworden said: - People who pay for 1 drink in a busy pub with a card At the most it takes 10 seconds longer to pay by card than it does with cash. C'mon now, lad. 2 hours ago, simonworden said: - Men in the gym who go round like a group of muppets all taking it in turns to use the same machine and pat each other on the back Yeah, God forbid people have a group of mates for moral support when working out. On the subject of the gym, what irritates me is people who don't follow urinal etiquette when it comes to the treadmills. If there are big gaps of machines elsewhere, don't pick the one right next to me. This happens constantly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Accident Prone said: On the subject of the gym, what irritates me is people who don't follow urinal etiquette when it comes to the treadmills. If there are big gaps of machines elsewhere, don't pick the one right next to me. This happens constantly. This is a good one. One work colleague inexplicably always uses the middle urinal of three and proceed to then spread his legs akimbo like he's speaking at Conservative Party Conference. It's maddening. Edited October 4, 2018 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Accident Prone Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 (edited) 26 minutes ago, Gus Mears said: This is a good one. One work colleague inexplicably always uses the middle urinal of three and proceed to then spread his legs akimbo like he's speaking at Conservative Party Conference. It's maddening. There's a guy at my office who does the exact same thing, but I believe it's a mix of his religion not allowing him to touch his dick and/or his OCD. So I think he spreads his legs in order to aim properly with no hands. Edited October 4, 2018 by Accident Prone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 31 minutes ago, Accident Prone said: What the fuck does this even mean? Please explain. Are you trying to order mashed potatoes from Subway or something? He means the lack of availability of an item featured on the menu, not the item not being featured on the menu. So ordering honey oat from Subway except they haven't got any. 28 minutes ago, Gus Mears said: This is a good one. One work colleague inexplicably always uses the middle urinal of three and proceed to then spread his legs akimbo like he's speaking at Conservative Party Conference. It's maddening. Sounds like an intentional wind up and I applaud this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Accident Prone Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 1 minute ago, air_raid said: He means the lack of availability of an item featured on the menu, not the item not being featured on the menu. So ordering honey oat from Subway except they haven't got any. Ah, I misread that then. My bad, Simon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 Just now, Accident Prone said: Ah, I misread that then. My bad, Simon! The phrase "my bad." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 3 minutes ago, air_raid said: He means the lack of availability of an item featured on the menu, not the item not being featured on the menu. So ordering honey oat from Subway except they haven't got any. Sounds like an intentional wind up and I applaud this. He's been doing it for the entirety of the two years I have been working here, so that's dedication. I once tried to barge my way in to the left hand urinal lane because the cubicles were being obliterated (as usual) by Andy Powell and I was basically pressed up against the wall, attempting to piss at about an 80 degree angle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Accident Prone Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 3 minutes ago, air_raid said: The phrase "my bad." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 7 minutes ago, Gus Mears said: He's been doing it for the entirety of the two years I have been working here, so that's dedication. I once tried to barge my way in to the left hand urinal lane because the cubicles were being obliterated (as usual) by Andy Powell and I was basically pressed up against the wall, attempting to piss at about an 80 degree angle. Amazing. My pet work hate is when I go to piss in our office loo - always go downstairs to poo, would never defile OUR toilet - and somethings died, so much that the stench is going to linger LONG after I've washed my hands and made good my exit. The fear makes me positively nauseous that I will cross paths with one of my colleagues on their way IN, especially one of the girls, and the assumption will be that the act of chemical warfare was mine. HORRIFIC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 16 hours ago, Chunk said: "Going forward" and "in terms of" are basically now so over-used at my work that they're on a par with punctuation. When someone in the office turns to you and says "what are you doing in terms of lunch", shit's gone too far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The British Bushwacker Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 Inspirational quotes, be it on a facebook page or stuck to their living room wall Anything with 'Keep calm and....' Robbie Williams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 People who replace their profile photos with pictures of their kids, especially an entire bloody sequence of them. Yes, you love your kids, but you are not them, and there was a person there before they were born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 1 minute ago, Carbomb said: People who replace their profile photos with pictures of their kids, especially an entire bloody sequence of them. Yes, you love your kids, but you are not them, and there was a person there before they were born. They are always the ones who repost the "DON'T ACCEPT A FRIEND REQUEST FROM PETE O'PHILE!!! THEY ARE TRYING TO GET PICTURES OF YOUR KIDS FOR THEIR FILTHY NONCERY!!!" things you see without any self awareness whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted October 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 4, 2018 15 hours ago, Chunk said: American Light Lager (like Bud Light or Coors Light). Eurrghh! DILLY fucking DILLY. Althought I'm not *that* mad because at least horsepiss was safer than water then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 Usually from people on quiz shows but also used in general, "Oh that was a bit before my time" is such bullshit. Some total plank was on an antiques quiz show today and said that 80s music was before his time. Oh and antiques aren't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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