Moderators neil Posted September 28, 2018 Moderators Share Posted September 28, 2018 1 hour ago, IANdrewDiceClay said: the PCC was losing a few battles that week on the UKFF I think May have been the same for me thinking back 🤔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I think my worst was when I met this girl (after chatting on one of them online things before all these apps came along) on some random Saturday afternoon. She was nervous (so I thought anyway) and wanted to meet somewhere fairly safe so I left it with her to decide and she decided to choose Tesco, so ended up meeting her down a random aisle (might be aisle 4) as she messaged me saying she was doing some shopping. Like previous stories there was no mention of children or anything like that....which was quite surprising when she turned up with a trolley with a kid sitting in the childs seat. I then looked round and her mum was with her. She then said (openly) that she was worried about online dating (thanks for saying that in front of your mum) so brought her mum along and that her mum was going to walk with us to the cafe (like something in Eastenders) to make sure everything was safe & legit. We get to the cafe and all her brothers & sisters are in there all of different ages (and sizes) and they were going to join us for lunch, it was worrying enough meeting her in the first place (online dating and all) without her mum, brothers & sisters and her little baby (that I knew nothing about) all joining us. It was like sitting on the London Underground on that table everyone tight together literally across the whole cafe. I don't think I even said a word I was that frightened. She then wanted us to walk around the shops afterwards with the family, its safe to say I had to make my excuses and leave pretty quickly. All I kept thinking was that she was like 20 years old and she A) Brought her mum on what was suppose to be a date/meet & B) Why the whole family as well? C) Oh you have a baby? I'm surprised she didn't bring the baby's dad along too. It was like the Taylor family off Eastenders, I suppose at least she looked like she did in the photos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King of Hamptons Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I once arranged to meet a women in Shrewsbury centre for a coffee, i'd planned to meet for a few hours then enjoy the rest of the day shopping and such.. Anyway I had got there a bit early and waited outside, anyway we met introduced ourselfs and went inside. she then told me she didnt like coffee and didnt want a drink... literally nothing... so i had a coffee and we chatted for about a hour.. I say we.. but she gave one word answers.. and when i asked her what she liked i got " Oh you know..The usual" After a hour I was bored and wanted to end it there.. i Told her it was nice to meet her and i had some shopping to do, she then told me here car was in for some repairs and she had 4 hours to wait in SHrewsbury.. what followed was the longest 4 hours of my life.... walking around the shops browing and getting what i had wanted all the time trying to get a conversation out of her.... I messaged her later that night to say. I didnt think we were suited and i hope she found someone.. only for her to say.. " Shame i really liked you " I've never messaged her back.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCW Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 @Cod Eye +1 for another banjo snap victim, in pretty much the same circumstance as yourself (substitute passenger seat of my old shite VW polo for park) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jang_316 Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 30 minutes ago, Briefcase said: I think my worst was when I met this girl (after chatting on one of them online things before all these apps came along) on some random Saturday afternoon. She was nervous (so I thought anyway) and wanted to meet somewhere fairly safe so I left it with her to decide and she decided to choose Tesco, so ended up meeting her down a random aisle (might be aisle 4) as she messaged me saying she was doing some shopping. Like previous stories there was no mention of children or anything like that....which was quite surprising when she turned up with a trolley with a kid sitting in the childs seat. I then looked round and her mum was with her. She then said (openly) that she was worried about online dating (thanks for saying that in front of your mum) so brought her mum along and that her mum was going to walk with us to the cafe (like something in Eastenders) to make sure everything was safe & legit. We get to the cafe and all her brothers & sisters are in there all of different ages (and sizes) and they were going to join us for lunch, it was worrying enough meeting her in the first place (online dating and all) without her mum, brothers & sisters and her little baby (that I knew nothing about) all joining us. It was like sitting on the London Underground on that table everyone tight together literally across the whole cafe. I don't think I even said a word I was that frightened. She then wanted us to walk around the shops afterwards with the family, its safe to say I had to make my excuses and leave pretty quickly. All I kept thinking was that she was like 20 years old and she A) Brought her mum on what was suppose to be a date/meet & B) Why the whole family as well? C) Oh you have a baby? I'm surprised she didn't bring the baby's dad along too. It was like the Taylor family off Eastenders, I suppose at least she looked like she did in the photos. Lol mate. Sorry that gave me a good chuckle. That takes some beating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I like root beer Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Has anyone had any good/bad experiences with eHarmony? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted September 29, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted September 29, 2018 12 hours ago, Rey_Piste said: @Cod Eye As someone who has also snapped their banjo string in the past. I can feel your pain, both literally and figuratively. Actually the story about that is a bad first "date". 8 hours ago, DCW said: @Cod Eye +1 for another banjo snap victim, in pretty much the same circumstance as yourself (substitute passenger seat of my old shite VW polo for park) I'm thinking of setting up a "Snapped Banjo String Survivors Support Group!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted September 29, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted September 29, 2018 This is a bit different than the most of the other posts. I met a girl when I was 16, on Fistral Beach in Newquay during the total eclipse. We had a great laugh even though I was a skater in to hip hop and she was a runner always in training for a big race. Pretty opposite. She lived in Liverpool and I was in Newcastle. Not easy when you’re 16, but we kept in touch for that year via phone, met up in Manchester one day, sent each other mix tapes.. that’s right. Hiwever, we both knew that we were seeing people closer to home and ultimately lost contact. I didn’t return a couple of her calls as I felt it wasn’t really fair on people we were properly dating. Even though it was just phone calls and mix tapes, it felt more than a friendship. A few years passed and In very early 2005 I had a really intense, very vivid dream. The world was a bit of a psychedelic setting. Imagine a cross between Alice in Wonderland meets Tony Hawks Pro Skater... obviously. She appeared in the dream. It was the first proper thought I’d had of her in a long time, but there she was and we picked up exactly where we left off. I woke up very happy and she was on my mind for the following few days. I decided to head in to the loft, look for an old bag that had a few scrap note pads in, because I was sure that her home number and address was in there somewhere. After a couple of hours, there it was, scribbled out in what I can only imagine was the act of a jealous ex-girlfriend. A fair act. I looked at the number for a few days, wondering if I should phone it. Fuck it, I called it to be greeted by her quite religious mum. Her parents weren’t fond of me. All they knew was I met their daughter on holiday, I was a stoner from Newcastle and I sent their daughter mix tapes that included Wu Tang Clan, Funk Dubie and Rage Against the Machine. They knew this as they’d found a said mix tape and accompanying letter a few years prior and told her to forget about me. Another fair act. I simply said “hi, I lost her number, I have your number, can I have her number please?”... she gave me it, along with her house phone as she’s now a student at uni in London.. WTF? That was too easy. So like a complete nob, I texted her, not call, I texted her. Not only did I not have the courage to call, but I lacked the courage to send a normal text. Instead I added her number to mail shot of numbers that signed up to receive texts when I would host DJ events in Durham. Seriously, what a Doyle move. No reply. I then decided to send another text a week later, this time just to her saying, “hi, this is a bit random, how are you?” Again, no reply and I started to think, shit, I’m boarding on weirdo now, I’ll leave it at that... ohh well. I get a reply.... “I thought you were dead”. Not quite what I was expecting in all honesty, but I felt like I’d just won a tombola. We have contact, get in. I reply... “No, I’m not dead” A few hours later I’m constantly checking my phone, now questioning why the fuck I’d replied with a crap message such as “No, I’m not dead”. I texted her and said, “Are you cool with me texting you, I appreciate it’s a bit random, but felt the urge to get in touch, is that ok, if not, I fully understand”. Within seconds my phone rings. FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK... I answered and was met with an almighty barrage of anger, with clear tones of a woman scorned. She spent the next 10 minutes reminding me that I was a complete prick to end our friendship they way I did. She reminded me that I’d not replied around 10 calls over the space of a month. She also reminded me of the time we’d agreed to meet in Leeds and I no showed. She informed me that I’d broken her heart and that although we couldn’t be a couple back then, she saw me as a true love and I’d let her down, that I’d broken her heart.... ”I’m sorry. I’m.... so sorry” We said our goodbyes and I felt like shit. Over the next week I thought back to the times I was at home when she called, but didn’t answer because of jealous girlfriends. I thought about the time she travelled to meet me in a different city and I stood her up out of fear because I’d put weight on. What a stupid fucking arsehole I was. My phone rings.... ”shall we meet up”, she asked. The following weekend I jumped on a Megabus in Darlington and made a 10 hour journey to London. I’d not been to London before. All I knew was to get off the bus in London, walk for about 30 minutes down a street and meet outside of a cafe. So that’s what I did. I was 5 mins early. It started pissing down, and I was shitting myself, but I wasn’t leaving that spot. An hour went by and there was no sign of her. I tried calling her but it kept going to her voice mail. I thought I’d been stood up in the ultimate act of revenge. What a fucking top class act of revenge by the way. As I thought it was time to head off, my phone rings and a panicked voice states... ”Sorry, the tube was at a stand still, I’ve had no signal, I’m turning the corner now, are you still there?” I looked up and saw what I can only describe as the most beautiful fucking human is ever seen. She ran over, kissed me and that was that We dated long distance for a year, twice a month in different cities. We went on holiday to Japan, travelled around Europe and she eventually moved up here. We’ve been a couple for 13 years now, married for over 3 and have a 2 year old daughter. Some fucking date that was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wideload90 Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 This thread has filled me with joy and faith in humanity. That, and uncontrollable laughter at some of these horror stories. Keep up the good work! The only remotely dateworthy story was meeting this unit with body odour, blagging a lift with my brother out to the middle of nowhere to drop it off and got met by the entire family - a war veteran with multiple ailments who took time to stand out of his chair and look "at the man brave enough to date my daughter in the eye", the autistic brother who kept twitching, the mother who proudly served in the salvation army and the German shepherd who just snarled at me. Suffice to say I got out of there and had to endure a rinsing from my brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 30 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said: This is a bit different than the most of the other posts... What a fucking date that was. That's fucking beautiful. Apart from you doing her wronger than Rolf, you cock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted September 29, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted September 29, 2018 That was a cracking read Kaz. Fantastic stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted September 29, 2018 Awards Moderator Share Posted September 29, 2018 @Kaz Hayashi you've warmed my heart with that story! Beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members TheBurningRed Posted September 29, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted September 29, 2018 @Cod Eye I’m another one for the broken banjo string club. But mine wasn’t during sex, mine was horny 15 year old who hadn’t knocked one out for a week. I still remember the horror of seeing the blood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Weezenal Posted September 29, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted September 29, 2018 27 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said: @Cod Eye I’m another one for the broken banjo string club. But mine wasn’t during sex, mine was horny 15 year old who hadn’t knocked one out for a week. I still remember the horror of seeing the blood. Is that how you got your name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 @Kaz Hayashi that is a wonderful story! Warmed the cockles of my heart, that. Add me to the Broken Banjo club. I’d been seeing my ex girlfriend for about a month at that point, and I was on holiday with her and her parents. The pain was tolerable, but the blood absolutely terrified me. She fucking told her mother as well! No wonder she didn’t like me - I broke my dick while inside her daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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