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Slapnut

By Slapnut
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David Grand Master

David

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57 minutes ago, Wrasslin said:

I went on a second date with a girl last night (Saw the Pearl Harts who are superb by the way) she was 3 beers in before I turned up and just got progressively more hammered as the night went on. Had to help into an Uber at the end of the night and politely decline an invitation to go back to hers.

She was pretty cool on the first date but I think I'm out now.

I wouldn't be so quick to judge if I were you. Maybe there's a reason she was as drunk? Nerves? Family issues? Work issues?

If you got on well on the first date, I'd give it another go and see how it pans out. If it turns out she's just a bevvy merchant then fair enough, but one strike and she's out? That's harsh, man.

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Wrasslin Experienced

Wrasslin

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12 minutes ago, David said:

I wouldn't be so quick to judge if I were you. Maybe there's a reason she was as drunk? Nerves? Family issues? Work issues?

If you got on well on the first date, I'd give it another go and see how it pans out. If it turns out she's just a bevvy merchant then fair enough, but one strike and she's out? That's harsh, man.

Also an irritating drunk. I don't want to deal with that long term.

Plus there's another girl I'm more interested who has been much more fun on the first two dates.

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Joe Blog Veteran

Joe Blog

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I went on a date that did not pan out too well when I was 16. 

Firstly when we met at the bus station we had both decided to wear double denim that day, like a budget Justin and Brittney. I also managed to make myself look even cooler by having one of those hats that is really long and hangs down the back of your head, a beanie maybe? 

So we head off to the pictures bedecked in our matching outfiits. I think we shared 5 words on the ten minute walk there. I pay being a gent and all. Half way through the film (I forget what it was) my phone buzzes. I sneakily check it only to find a txt from my date. 

“Don’t think this is going to work, thanks for paying”

So there we sat for another long long 45 minutes both mortified and staring straight ahead to make sure we avoided eye contact. 

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Sergio Mendacious Grand Master

Sergio Mendacious

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43 minutes ago, Joe Blog said:

I was not exaclty a young lothario, I did not know good dating etiquette. Ironically enough about 3 years later we ended up together for a year and she stole my virginity. What an emotional roller coaster that girl took me on. 

Something about this arrangement of words and punctuation is so pleasing. Like poetry, or great song lyrics.

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neil Grand Master

neil

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Probably the worst date I had was during the third date I had with this girl. For some background I'd broken up with my fiancee some six months earlier and had decided that OKCupid was a way for me to get "back in the game".

So I met this girl on OKCupid, and despite her not living close to me, had met up with her for a date. I was shitting bricks as I hadn't dated anyone after breaking up and was absolutely shit with dating/girls prior to that so my expectations were at an all time low. The girl was actually really attractive and fun and we ended the night with us snogging wildly. Things escalated during a second date, but a problem presented itself where neither of us had a place to go - I lived an hour away, she had yet to move into her new place.

Roll on to the third date. She had now moved into her own place. Idiot Neil thought "ah maybe sex tonight?" but was too nervous to pack condoms not wanting to be "that guy". So we end up at her place, things get going, I say I don't have a rubber, she goes "no probs, I have some". So she grabs it and this thing is absolutely tiny and my nob is HUGE, so that was not going to work. She suggests I go out and buy some...adding "I can't believe you didn't bring any".

Now I'm starting to feel really anxious. I go out...in the pouring rain...and buy some BIG BOY BALLOONS. Get back to hers, I'm as soaking wet as her punani, and the action starts.

This is where I find out her pussy is like one of them jars of putty that makes fart sounds. It feels awful...not to mention its some 6+ years since my hampton has felt the delights of latex on it...I pull out and see this cavern of a hole slowly closing up. Between that and the condom my dick gives up the ghost and recoils in horror.

She's absolutely miffed at my lack of manhood at this point, but I go down on her and we end up falling asleep. I wake up in the morning with a full on morning wood throbber. I think to myself "now's the time mate" and try to initiate. She seems a bit annoyed at being woke up but starts getting into it...

I'm trying desperately not to think about the previous night, but I feel like I'm thrusting into thin air and then her pussy starts making sounds just like the actual fart putty. Instant boner loss. She is clearly furious and says "I have to be somewhere so you're going to have to leave"...it's 7am on a Sunday. Never heard from her again.

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Sergio Mendacious Grand Master

Sergio Mendacious

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3 minutes ago, neil said:

Probably the worst date I had was during the third date I had with this girl. For some background I'd broken up with my fiancee some six months earlier and had decided that OKCupid was a way for me to get "back in the game".

So I met this girl on OKCupid, and despite her not living close to me, had met up with her for a date. I was shitting bricks as I hadn't dated anyone after breaking up and was absolutely shit with dating/girls prior to that so my expectations were at an all time low. The girl was actually really attractive and fun and we ended the night with us snogging wildly. Things escalated during a second date, but a problem presented itself where neither of us had a place to go - I lived an hour away, she had yet to move into her new place.

Roll on to the third date. She had now moved into her own place. Idiot Neil thought "ah maybe sex tonight?" but was too nervous to pack condoms not wanting to be "that guy". So we end up at her place, things get going, I say I don't have a rubber, she goes "no probs, I have some". So she grabs it and this thing is absolutely tiny and my nob is HUGE, so that was not going to work. She suggests I go out and buy some...adding "I can't believe you didn't bring any".

Now I'm starting to feel really anxious. I go out...in the pouring rain...and buy some BIG BOY BALLOONS. Get back to hers, I'm as soaking wet as her punani, and the action starts.

This is where I find out her pussy is like one of them jars of putty that makes fart sounds. It feels awful...not to mention its some 6+ years since my hampton has felt the delights of latex on it...I pull out and see this cavern of a hole slowly closing up. Between that and the condom my dick gives up the ghost and recoils in horror.

She's absolutely miffed at my lack of manhood at this point, but I go down on her and we end up falling asleep. I wake up in the morning with a full on morning wood throbber. I think to myself "now's the time mate" and try to initiate. She seems a bit annoyed at being woke up but starts getting into it...

I'm trying desperately not to think about the previous night, but I feel like I'm thrusting into thin air and then her pussy starts making sounds just like the actual fart putty. Instant boner loss. She is clearly furious and says "I have to be somewhere so you're going to have to leave"...it's 7am on a Sunday. Never heard from her again.

Jesus Christ, that did me in. Joe Blog's was a stanza, this was fucking Beowulf.

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