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Epic Fails


tiger_rick

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Thanks to @Liam O'Rourke teasing the next episode of SCG's Monday Night War timeline, I decided to watch the first Nitro of November 1999. Now it's almost all terrible but fuck me, the stuff with Kevin Nash pretending to be Vince McMahon (just called "The Promoter") with a horrendous rubber face and shit hair is some of the lamest comedy I've ever seen in my life. Schiavone and Heenan pretending it's obvious who he is despite him looking like Sid Viscious after an acid attack is ridiculous. The lines aren't funny and the crowd don't give a shit. The only humour comes when his ponytail falls out of the back of the wig.

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What else just plain sucks?

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4 minutes ago, The King of Old School said:

99.9% of wrestling comedy is the shits. Has anyone ever really seen anything that was supposed to be funny in wrestling and genuinely laughed?

Only one i can think of is when Victoria came down to the ring in a fat suit and fell over.

If you have never laughed at Santino you have no soul. 

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One epic failure that springs to mind was the Fake Rosie O'Donnell v Fake Donald Trump fight on Raw from 2007

The whole thing was terrible on so many levels, the fight was awful, the crowd broke out into a loud and audible TNA chant amongst the boos and showed just general apathy towards it.

It was the sort of skit you can imagine came direct from Vince and that everyone of the writers when it was put to them looked at one another knowing it was crap but also knowing not one of them was going to dare tell Vince that.

During the match the camera panned to Vince who was ringside and even he gave the look of a man who knew this was stinking the place out

Thankfully it was quickly forgotten about consigned to the depths of hell until now anyway

 

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I watched those first Russo Nitros not so long ago and they're basically bollocks. I just don't get what they were trying to achieve with all this shite. Nash drinking cough medicine out of a paper bag was pretty shit too, on the week before I think. 

"Get it"

 

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1 hour ago, The King of Old School said:

99.9% of wrestling comedy is the shits. Has anyone ever really seen anything that was supposed to be funny in wrestling and genuinely laughed?

 

I nominate the time in the 1000th Raw episode where "Mae Young's son" appeared totally out of the blue having not been mentioned for almost 15 years, made all the better by Michael Cole totally corpsing.   

 

But as regards the topic on hand, there's so many but the Pat Patterson Vs Gerald Briscoe hardcore match where they were both in drag has to be up there. You can imagine Vince sitting backstage doing big belly laughs during that while you, the viewer, wanted to die of shame. It's hard to imagine many worse moments of wrestling television for a non-wrestling fan mate to walk into the room.

Also, the Jim Ross skit shortly after he'd had real life cancer surgery where Vince was pulling various objects out of a fake JR's rear end. Vince clearly thought it was hilarious but the whole thing seemed so mean-spirited that any comedic value was lost. 

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DX circa 2006 comes to mind for me as some of the cringiest stuff they’ve ever done. 40 year olds making cock jokes thinking they’re hilarious.

The other one I can think of is the supermarket brawl in 2001 with Austin and Booker T. How much of it intended to come off as goofy, I’m not sure, but I remember every time it was replayed on the various highlight shows on Sky One (I used to watch them all) I had my hand on the remote the whole time, ready to switch to anything else in case my dad walked in. 

For a genuine epic fail moment that felt like it would never end, is there anything worse than a failing promo? Michael McGillicutty’s NXT concession speech comes to mind. You just wanted the ground to swallow him up for his own sake.

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46 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

DX circa 2006 comes to mind for me as some of the cringiest stuff they’ve ever done. 40 year olds making cock jokes thinking they’re hilarious.

 

Included within (but not restricted to) DX revival runs - any time they think the heel getting covered in poo is funny. 

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Embarrassing. Never ended. The crowd died on its arse. Imagine what Karl Anderson must've been thinking? A couple of years back he's headlining NJPW shows against Tanahashi, and you fast forward and he's saddled with this.

As MVP alludes to, the exact type of segment you can imagine Vince completely pissing himself at, banging his fists against his desk in gorilla. The whole "Camp WWE" show was a perfect insight into his warped, magical mind. It was just 95% jokes about poo, wee and farts. 

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Jay Lethal and Ric Flair is up there as one of the funniest segments ever too. Comedy in wrestling is ace when done right.

Benoit's mic time in WCW is a clear cut indicator why he only got a title push to try keep him around. I still cringe at him saying to Debra "talk to the haaaand, cos the man just don't understanddd" and that "quote the crippler" shit he pulled. He was so bad.

Lapsed Fan on their Backlash 2004 show did a piss funny recap of when he returned back to his home town as a hero after WMXX but no fucker had heard of him, every paper ripped the piss out of him for being a wrestler, and he just needlessly got pelters left and right from everyone who covered it.

So my epic fail is Chris Benoit any time he either spoke or had a title run.

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3 hours ago, Joe Blog said:

If you have never laughed at Santino you have no soul. 

Santino was comedy gold. When he was Santina and called JR Mr BBQ man and JR sulked live on air, his rap in the ring when Stephanie addressed the roster with main heel Orton trying not to corpse and asking Kane “have you tried the Pepsi machine?” when Kane asked him if he’s seen CM Punk always stand out to me as highlights. 

As far as epic fails, have to agree with Carlito and Hornswoogle and the fake wall and the Old Day segment as said above. Didn’t Gallows and Anderson do some crappy Dr skit aimed at them as well? Plus, even though it’s obviously in bad taste, all Michael Coles promo time in the feud with Lawler and the dead mum jokes and other attempts at comedy were fucking cringe. 

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