The 'One Off' PPV Review a match thread. . .

[Sonny Mustang]

7 hours ago, WeeAl said:

That it does! The second half of the card and the first half of the card are as different as day and night, when you look at the star quality and the duration of the bouts. It's as if someone recorded on a video an episode of WCW Power Hour and then the last half of Starrcade and tried to flog the tape to you on eBay as being the one show. 

I feel like that is a vile tactic would also  be prevalent within the stands at Grey Mare Lane market! Now I’m even more exited. I may well watch the whole thing. 

[WeeAl]

10 hours ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

You think you've got it bad, you didn't get fucking December to Dismember! 😰

@WeeAl Are we posting these in the thread ourselves? 

Yeah, I think that would make things pretty handy and it would be a nice trickle in effect over the course of the month with all these random big shows WWE have got going on between October and November. 

[Jazzy G]

10 hours ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

You think you've got it bad, you didn't get fucking December to Dismember! 😰

@WeeAl Are we posting these in the thread ourselves? 

That Hardys MNM match is alright.

[Fatty Facesitter]

46 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

That Hardys MNM match is alright.

Yeah, funnily enough that match and some of the build leading up to the show with the extreme chamber match wasn’t too bad. I am absolutely dreading the likes of Tommy Dreamer vs Davari though. 

[WeeAl]

1 hour ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

Yeah, funnily enough that match and some of the build leading up to the show with the extreme chamber match wasn’t too bad. I am absolutely dreading the likes of Tommy Dreamer vs Davari though. 

Just pick the one match though man! Don't be reviewing that whole shit show or you'll have lost the will to live after about fifteen minutes.

[Fatty Facesitter]

1 hour ago, WeeAl said:

Just pick the one match though man! Don't be reviewing that whole shit show or you'll have lost the will to live after about fifteen minutes.

Oh, sorry must’ve misread the OP! Well that makes the experience slightly less painful. Extreme Chamber it is!

[air_raid]

OK, here goes. I drew The Big Event.

Here's a show I never watched in it's entirety, the stadium show in Toronto that had the first of the two big Hogan/Orndorff title matches. The setting is fucking incredible. Pedant alert ; this wasn't a PPV. But it looks like one. Monsoon's "this is a happening" shtick came out a few times early doors, always disliked that one because he spammed it relentlessly.

Underneath : The Killer Bees went over Hoss "don't call me Dory" and Jimmy Jack "not a real Funk" Funk with their mask bullshit you'll know if you bought the Survivors 87 tape. What babyfaces. Magnificent Muraco bored my arse off as was his wont against King Tonga - announced as such but referred to as Haku throughout by Gorilla, Ernie Ladd and Johnny V. Fucking time limit draw, two lame finishes in a row. "It's a happening!" The monstrous Ted Arcidi squashes Tony Garea in a match notable for a part where a few dozen fans opposite the hard camera are fascinated by something happening opposite the ring, I'd love to know what. Gorilla does the "happening" thing twice during Adrian Adonis' entrance, FFS. Lame DQ loss to Junkyard Dog in a match notable for the amount of Canadians throwing shit at The Mouth. Dick Slater vs Mike Sharpe is clipped heavily, fans seem pretty listless. Some star power turns up with Bundy, John Studd and the one and only Bobby Heenan against Lou Albano and two of The Machines with Giant Machine ringside. Imagine getting Andre for a show like this and not having him wrestle?? I had to look up the Machine that isn't Ax ; its Blackjack Mulligan, of course it is. DQ when Giant Machine comes in to get at The Brain. "Unbelievable happening here."

Here's my match anyway : Ricky Steamboat vs Jake The Snake! This is a Snake Pit match which unfortunately only means no DQ. Steamboat is mad over. Jake attacks before ref instructions and early attempt at the short clothesline which fails. Proper heat here stemming from the DDT on the floor on Saturday Night's Main Event. Arm work from Steamer. Criss cross and a knifedge chop followed by a hammerlock. Great back kick from the Dragon while he has Jake in an arm wringer.

Jake gains the advantage on the floor temporarily with brawling including a slam on the floor

but Ricky comes back ; back in the ring and he soars with  a top rope chop.

http://slam.canoe.com/Slam/Wrestling/GuestColumn/2016/11/09/steamboat.jpg

More armwork, chops in the corner. "Unbelievable happening" - fuck off with that, Gorilla. The Snake reverses a whip into the corner that somehow sends Steamboat to the floor and follows with a slingshot into the ring post.

Back inside Jake hits jabs and a short clothesline but DDT attempt foiled by getting charged into the corner. Comeback attempt is cut off with an inverted atomic drop, then a stomach breaker. Roberts errs by going for the kneeling pin, downfall of many a Model or Barbar on Coliseum tapes, and sure enough Ricky gets the cradle, legs over shoulders, for the three count. Odd finish for a heated grudge match. At about ten minutes it's comfortably the best match on the card so far. Proper good wrestling really at a premium up North in 86.

The rest of the show - Hercules with big hair gets backslid by Billy Jack Haynes, referred to by Monsoon as the "young man from Portland" despite him being 33 here. "Unbelievable happening." The Rougeaus go over The Dream Team which understandably goes down well in Canada. "It's a happening!" Johnny V on comms throws a tantrum worthy of The Brain at Mania VIII. Harley Race pins Pedro Morales with his feet on the ropes in a match that sounds historically interesting but isn't worth five minutes of your life to watch. And of course, Hulk Hogan beats Mr Wonderful by DQ to set up the cage match they'd have on Saturday Night's Main Event in a match that's action packed, fun and gets more crowd noise than the rest of the card combined.

One note in general - the refereeing on this show is dreadful. They take ages getting in position and checking if shoulders are down before starting the count and it sucks the drama out of the nearfalls.

On the whole this show was pretty dull. Thank God for Hogan, the match I reviewed, and Bobby Heenan.

[WeeAl]

I don't think ai've ever seen anything from that show air_raid. Going by your review, I'm unlikely to ever bother watching the show, other than maybe the match you reviewed and probably the main event - which I would expect to be pretty good if their SNME match is anything to go by. 

Thanks for the early submission! 

[tiger_rick]

Battlebowl 1993

I've tried to watch this show before but never got fair into it. I really like the wildcard partners concept and it could work really well but the battle royal thing is a bit of a mess and WCW didn't do a great job of putting stakes on all the matches. Far too many are like Paul Roma and the Shockmaster or something which no-one in their right mind would give a toss about.

There's a great, in WrestleCrap terms, poundshop Survivor Series '89 opening to the show as various stars utter one line about battle bowl amongst quick cuts of moves. Brian Knobbs screaming "It's an eye-gouging ... hair ripping ... BRAWL" I could live without.

I chose to watch Austin & Flair vs. Maxxxxxx Payne and Scorpio because it's fucking Austin and Fair. Why wouldn't you? Wikipedia says it's 14:31 but it flies to be fair to it whichsays something about the quality. All the matches are preceded by everyone sitting in the back awaiting the draw. Vince McMahon noted this down for his first draft show. When they've been drawn, they immediately wander down that stupid ramp into the ring. I've always had a problem with WCW's shit entrance music and inconsequential entrances - you can never hear the announcer for a start - and this doesn't help. Steve Austin and Ric Flair wander down like two members of Jim Duggan's Survivor Series team. Flair is very much WWF Flair to me.

The background here is great as Flair and Austin had feuded for most of 1993 with the Blondes winding up Flair and Arn including the classic "Flair for the Old" skits. The argue before the match about who is the team captain. Payne comes out in black tights and black T-Shirt looking like a chubby Goth bird in a nightclub. Austin and Flair argue about who starts. Austin insists he does. Payne then takes Austin down early and Austin immediately wants to tag out. Flair runs his hands through his hair and struts. Funny.

Austin and Scorpio then have a beautiful quick exchange, although they manage to fuck up an armdrag. Scorpio has always been an enigma to me. He's got a decent look, he's smooth as silk (mostly) and has an aura of cool but there's always been something missing. Flair tags in and shakes hands with Scorpio further establishing them as the babyfaces. They exchange on the mat. Scorpio fails to bridge out but Schiavone covers. Tony and Ventura are great here, as they generally where, telling the story of the match simply.

Austin is back in and gets taken down again. He rolls out and says he needs a different partner. Funny again. They tell the story that Flair is uncomfortable with Austin cheating. Stop laughing. Austin crotches Scorpio and hits a lovely superplex. Eventually, Austin is holding the ropes for extra leverage on a thing and Fllair breaks it causing them to slap each other and briefly exchange punches. They recover though and Flair directs a nice double team.

The crowd are interesting here. Almost Japanese in that there's a constant buzz, and a "We want Ric" chant but they look dead on camera. Payne shows babyface fire on Ric Flair as the crowd collectively go "WTF?" Payne then misses a knee, hitting the turnbuckle, before succumbing to the figure four. Austin climbs the top rope but pratfalls off as Flair spots him coming in a hilarious spot that looks like a botch.

[Jazzy G]

9 hours ago, tiger_rick said:

Battlebowl 1993

I've tried to watch this show before but never got fair into it. I really like the wildcard partners concept and it could work really well but the battle royal thing is a bit of a mess and WCW didn't do a great job of putting stakes on all the matches. Far too many are like Paul Roma and the Shockmaster or something which no-one in their right mind would give a toss about.

There's a great, in WrestleCrap terms, poundshop Survivor Series '89 opening to the show as various stars utter one line about battle bowl amongst quick cuts of moves. Brian Knobbs screaming "It's an eye-gouging ... hair ripping ... BRAWL" I could live without.

I chose to watch Austin & Flair vs. Maxxxxxx Payne and Scorpio because it's fucking Austin and Fair. Why wouldn't you? Wikipedia says it's 14:31 but it flies to be fair to it whichsays something about the quality. All the matches are preceded by everyone sitting in the back awaiting the draw. Vince McMahon noted this down for his first draft show. When they've been drawn, they immediately wander down that stupid ramp into the ring. I've always had a problem with WCW's shit entrance music and inconsequential entrances - you can never hear the announcer for a start - and this doesn't help. Steve Austin and Ric Flair wander down like two members of Jim Duggan's Survivor Series team. Flair is very much WWF Flair to me.

The background here is great as Flair and Austin had feuded for most of 1993 with the Blondes winding up Flair and Arn including the classic "Flair for the Old" skits. The argue before the match about who is the team captain. Payne comes out in black tights and black T-Shirt looking like a chubby Goth bird in a nightclub. Austin and Flair argue about who starts. Austin insists he does. Payne then takes Austin down early and Austin immediately wants to tag out. Flair runs his hands through his hair and struts. Funny.

Austin and Scorpio then have a beautiful quick exchange, although they manage to fuck up an armdrag. Scorpio has always been an enigma to me. He's got a decent look, he's smooth as silk (mostly) and has an aura of cool but there's always been something missing. Flair tags in and shakes hands with Scorpio further establishing them as the babyfaces. They exchange on the mat. Scorpio fails to bridge out but Schiavone covers. Tony and Ventura are great here, as they generally where, telling the story of the match simply.

Austin is back in and gets taken down again. He rolls out and says he needs a different partner. Funny again. They tell the story that Flair is uncomfortable with Austin cheating. Stop laughing. Austin crotches Scorpio and hits a lovely superplex. Eventually, Austin is holding the ropes for extra leverage on a thing and Fllair breaks it causing them to slap each other and briefly exchange punches. They recover though and Flair directs a nice double team.

The crowd are interesting here. Almost Japanese in that there's a constant buzz, and a "We want Ric" chant but they look dead on camera. Payne shows babyface fire on Ric Flair as the crowd collectively go "WTF?" Payne then misses a knee, hitting the turnbuckle, before succumbing to the figure four. Austin climbs the top rope but pratfalls off as Flair spots him coming in a hilarious spot that looks like a botch.

Is Battlebowl '93 as painful to watch as the one they did at Starrcade'91?

[WeeAl]

Breakdown 1998

Triple Threat Cage Match for the #1 ContContendership

The Rock Vs Ken Shamrock Vs Mankind

When I drew Breakdown, there was really only one match that I was going to review. It had to be the match featuring the big blue barred cage. That's pure nostalgia right there, anytime you see that cage on the screen. 

We get promos before hand from all the guys. Ken Shamrock channel's his inner Metallica and tells us that "nothing else matters" only being the champion. Good man Ken. At least somebody gets it. He tells Rock and Mankind to knuckle up, as he's taking his frustration out on them tonight. 

The rock is in the locker room with Doc Hendrix. 



But The Rock doesn't give a monkeys ass about Kenny'sfrustrations. There's a collection of his greatest hits here. He's laying the Smacketh down on the candy ass of these two jabroni's, before he drops the people's elbow, climb's the people's cage and becomes the number one contender as he is forever, and he means ever, will be, the people's champ. Eyebrow. 

Mankind and Kevin Kelly are hanging about in a boiler room or the janitor's store room, or possibly a dungeon, somewhere in the Ontario area. Mankind tells us a story about stupid things in his life, such as men peeing on electric fences and the people's elbow being the most stupid of them all. So, suggesting you get chucked off the Cell wasn't up there then Mick, no? 

You can win by pinfall, submission or escape here. Shamrock is out first. His music suits him down to a tee. Mankind is out next to a good reception. JR tells us Mick has the highest pain threshold of anybody he's ever seen in the business. I don't think there would be many that would dispute that. Rocky enters to universal cheers here. He's completely shitting charisma on the way to the ring. JR tells us he is a two year pro. Madness when you think about it really. How far ahead of the curve he was, so early in his career. 

It starts off with a bang as rock immediately attacks Shamrock with right hands. Not the best idea Rocky. Shamrock is soon tagging him back so Rock thumbs him in the eye. Foley, wiley old guy that he is, goes to walk out the door while these two are messing about actually having a fight. Rock is having none of it though. Lot's of punching here, until Mick hits Ken with the knee in the corner, turns around and gets clotheslined by Rock. 

Shamrock is back in control though, kicking and beating the snot out of both of these fella's. 

King and JR are talking about the main event that is still to come, therefore who one of these men may end up facing should they win here. Shamrock has Foley in an abdominal stretch, but he doesn't expect Rock to sneak up behind him and put him in one at the same time!

Great looking spot. Rocky told us he was going to hurt these two jabroni's. Double hip tosses break it up. Ken is getting the better of most of these exchanges, taking a punch and giving two back. Foley tries to go over the cage but Rock tosses him to the mat. Ken scoop slams Mick and tries to go out the door but he's stopped twice by Rocky. King calls him an idiot for not trying to go out feet first. Well done Jerry.  Three times Rock stops him, and Mankind gives a hand and The Rock and Sock connection but the boots to Ken for trying to escape like a dummy.

 

Good team work here from the odd couple as they choke Shamrock against the ropes. We get the first man to taste the steel as both Rock and Mankind chuck Ken into the steel. More double team moves and Foley's getting super excited about cool dude Dwayne helping him out. So The People's Champ gives him a nice clothesline to kill his buzz. 

Rock tries to escape and Shamrock says no dice. More team work, this time with Mick on the end of things. Ankle Lock! Rocky is having none of that though, in case Mick taps like chicken. Foley and Shamrock decide to get back at Rock for calling them jabroni's by trying to suffocate our hero.

There's a serious amount of punch, kick, choke carry on in this on. Good triple team exchanges though compared to modern day triple threats that are all one guy sells while they other two do spots and then change over. In this one, all three guys are involved constantly. Rock's getting the pie beat out of him here though. But wait! A series of DDT's to both men get him back in the game. Double scoop slams, and then, he signals for it and the crowd go wild, he's going for a double people's elbow! He runs and jumps accross both men and hits it! How stupid is it now Mick as you sit there with your crushed chest cavity? Rock is trying to escape and the crowd are loving it, but Ken and Mankind manage to drop the people's jewels accross the top rope. Rocky is back in the game though with a low blow to Shamrock and a Rock Bottom on the Mickster! Shamrock is there to stop it, and meets Rock with a big elbow. Shamrock sucks according to the crowd. We get a bizarre world reference from King here. Belly to Belly on the Rock followed by the Ankle Lock! Can Rocky hold on! Mick breaks it up and the crowd are delighted that he saved their man! The crowd have really heated up now. They are getting into it here. Foley is trying to escape but Rock is onto him.

Mick likes to pull his own hair out but Rock is going to save him the hassle tonight. They are exchanging fists on top of the cage, which Mick gets the better of. Foley stands up and the crowd know what's coming. . . Mankind signals for the elbow "He thinks he's Jimmy Snuka!" Mankind drops the elbow. . . But there's nobody home! He finds nothing but canvas. Fuck me Mick's having a tough year. Rocky is bleeding now. Shamrock tried to escape but Mick drags him back in by the ankles though Kenny brings a chair along with home. He tries to use it, however he gets a double arm DDT for his trouble. Shamrock eats a wicked chair shot to the head and Mankind is heading over the cage now, with both men laid out cold. He gets to the top of the cage but Rock has managed to crawl over to cover Shamrock. Mick is descending on the outside but Rock has hooked the leg and the ref is making the count, 1. . .2. . .Mankind has half way to go on the outside of the cage. . .3. Rocky pins Shamrock for the win, as Mankind pulls out his hair in self mutilation as JR tells Foley he lost the match while he was playing about thinking he was on the climbing frame. 

A lovely little gem of a match, and The Rock is the number one contender to the WWF Championship. 

[HarmonicGenerator]

Capital Carnage 1998.

Well, I had hoped for a half-decent X-Pac match, and I notice that this card has X-Pac vs. The Rock for the WWE Championship on it.

(Wikipedia tells me it's got a DQ finish, but based on the rest of the card, I'm still taking it)

"EXPLOOOOOOORE! X-PAC!"

I've never known what that first word in X-Pac's music is. And here he comes, one of my genuine all-time favourites, and he's the European Champion. OUR Champion. 

JR points out that there's no-one hotter than X-Pac at the moment, and I have to wonder... was The Rock's reaction here as big as Pac's? It maybe, just might not have been. If X-Pac hadn't been around in the era of Rock and Austin, you have to wonder if he'd have been given a proper main event run.

Fucking shit!

Earl Hebner's refereeing. That's a star taken off.

JR making comments about how the WWF isn't a retirement home for old stars. How times have changed. Couple of arm drags puts X-Pac ahead in the early going. They've got the Union Jack flying from the arena ceiling with the scratch logo on it. Would have been a good t-shirt, that. Rope-running (the International?) and another arm drag, X-Pac still in control. They run it again, Rock goes for the leapfrog bit but X-Pac stops and tells him to suck it! Rock's thrown out of the ring and X-Pac is firmly in control! Rocky's making him look his equal here.

I'm right in remembering there used to be a "if you can't have a good match with X-Pac" rule for newbies in the WWF? Who's their guy for that benchmark now? It's not Ziggler, is it?

Rock's walking out because he can't be arsed with this, but Triple H and Chyna stop him from taking the cheap count-out win. The ring aprons are X-Seven Blue.

Rock down in the corner but the Bronco Buster misses. Current UK champion Pete Dunne would have just been starting school when this match took place. Tyler Bate would have been a baby!

Stomps on X-Pac and the tide has definitely turned. Fair to say it's Triple H's fault?

X-Pac mounts a comeback and Rock sticks his thumb in the eye with a Samoan Spike variation. Into the rest hold and to be fair, they're both panting away. Even Hebner's having a kneel down and watching. X-Pac mounts the comeback but the crowd's not really there for him. Triple H jumps up on the apron and Hebner gets distracted because he's shit, allowing Rock to punch X-Pac in the cock. Back to the chinlock.

JR is really putting over X-Pac here. The Rock is only 26 here. 

Actually, I take that back about the crowd, the noise they're making is causing the hard camera to shake! Bodyslam from Rock and it's time to set up for the Corporate Elbow - two nice little touches where he throws the elbow pad down onto X-Pac instead of into the crowd, and doing the D-X Suck It gesture before dropping the elbow itself.

http://i44.tinypic.com/2jcip9k.gif

(if that gif didn't work, just google 'Rock X-Pac Capital Carnage')

1, 2 - X-Pac kicks out of the Elbow!

Chinlock attempt number 3. X-Pac fights out of it, Rock Bottom attempted, Triple H distracts but does it properly this time, Chyna hits a low blow for a near fall! A big kick gets another! Top rope cross body countered for a Rock near fall! They're packing in the action here, this is a genuinely good match.

Hebner gets squished in the corner because he's shit. Triple H smashes him in the face with the belt (WWE, not European, I think) and X-Pac just needs to crawl over there as Hebner conveniently regains consciousness. Rock JUST kicks out! The crowd are buying these near falls.

Bronco Buster connects this time! Unfortunately it devolves into Rock fighting with Triple H and Chyna, which results in a DQ win for The Rock. Deflating. Rock's quite happy, at least until DX go after him, Ken Shamrock heads down to help Rock out (which is odd, I'd forgotten they were Corporate allies after so long fighting each other earlier in 1998) but gets thrown out. Rock celebrates but DX's music plays.

Inconsequential match, everyone's in the very same place they were at the start, but the match itself was very good while it lasted. I got my wish!

[air_raid]

Winning timing, that....

2 hours ago, WeeAl said:

Breakdown 1998

Triple Threat Cage Match for the #1 ContContendership

The Rock Vs Ken Shamrock Vs Mankind

 

I fucking loved this match and watched it over and over, in stark contrast to the main event which was plodding and forgettable. The noise for newly-turned Rock is insane here. Shamrock's in a weird spot as there wasn't really a defined heel turn as such, on this night Hamilton REALLY hated him and the rest of North America just seemed to follow suit in the weeks to come, especially programmed against Mankind, there was only one winner in the popularity stakes there. Even though he'd been booked as a heel right up until helping Rocky beat Kane on Raw. A lot changed in four weeks after SummerSlam! But Rocky was being positioned as a babyface, no questions asked, and I was on board. It didn't last, obviously.

12 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

 

I'm right in remembering there used to be a "if you can't have a good match with X-Pac" rule for newbies in the WWF? Who's their guy for that benchmark now? It's not Ziggler, is it?

 

Ziggler?? The man who can wrestle someone two million times and you remember none of them?

"Can't work with Kid, can't work" was how they put it, and he was put with Jericho to teach the latter "how to work" as many have written about, including Jericho himself. The bit that always blew my mind is in Shawn's book when he comes back from wrestling Shane/Dean Douglas and he just says "Not happening" - the more experienced Kliq lads just KNOW at that point Douglas isn't going to make it, off the word of this 23 year old whippersnapper. But he knew. He was right. He was always right. Can't work with Kid, can't work.

[Fatty Facesitter]

December to Dismember 2006 - Extreme Elimination Chamber

                              

Context

So this was the main event of the WWE-ECW brand’s December to Dismember PPV. After a turbulent relaunch a few months prior, this was realistically one of WWE’s last chances to get the ECW brand back onside with disgruntled fans of the original promotion and even modern day WWE fans who could blatantly see that it was nothing more than ugly step-brother of Raw and Smackdown. 

In 2004 WWE released the Rise and Fall of ECW documentary. It did big numbers and received a lot of critical acclaim. And it was a boss documentary as well - even with small hints of WWE bias, it’s still one of the best DVD’s they had ever put out. If you’ve never seen it - do. It’s absolutely great even all these years later. 

 

WWE Network link: http://network.wwe.com/video/v36902605/?contentId=&contextType=wwe-show&contextId=wwe_beyond_the_ring

The success of that DVD led to the ECW One Night Stand PPV in June 2005, which was a successful and authentic representation of the old ECW. It was supposed to be exactly what it said on the tin - a one night affair celebrate everything that ECW was about in it's heyday. A final, official goodbye that the stars of the promotion never really got the chance to say when the promotion closed it's doors in 2001. Again, it still holds up quite well today and even though it supposed to be a one-time thing, when you transport your mind back to that time, it’s not hard to see why support was really going for the re-introduction of ECW on a permanent basis. 

WWE Network Link: http://network.wwe.com/video/v31370753/?contentId=&contextType=wwe-show&contextId=one_night_stand

Sure enough, A year later - what was initially a reunion became a rebirth - WWE was going to relaunch ECW as a third brand to rival Raw and Smackdown. Rejoice. Whereas the 2005 event was more like greatest hits concert, The second One Night Stand in 2006 was now effectively a full relaunch. Whilst some of the original hits were played again, a lot of new material was set up for the start of the ECW on Sci-Fi TV show due to start. It’s probably the last great authentic presentation using the original look and feel of the promotion’s original run, and it had two matches that would live long in the memory - Edge, Mick Foley and Lita vs Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicuty waged war in a gory affair, while Rob Van Dam won the WWE title from John Cena in front of a rabid crowd to kick off ECW 2.0 with bang. They’d have been hard-pressed to have gotten off to a better start. 

WWE Network link: http://network.wwe.com/video/v31339151/?contentId=&contextType=wwe-show&contextId=one_night_stand 

A number of intriguing things were in place for the big relaunch. Prominent ECW originals such as RVD, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer and Sandman still had a part to play, while Kurt Angle and Big Show were brought over in an effort to not only increase star power, but to give their characters new directions. 

Then, ECW on Sci-Fi happened. 

As you might expect, creatively it was a shambles and from week one it became apparent that the original ECW was well and truly dead (No pun intended re Zombie-gate).

While stars from the original were still a prominent feature on the show, RVD lost both the WWE and ECW titles due to getting suspended, Kurt Angle left WWE altogether, and generally speaking...well, it was just shit, wasn't it? 

In an effort to shake things up (and due to the RVD suspension), Big Show was the heel ECW champion, aligned with Paul Heyman, as both Originals and the 'New Breed' of ECW stars (as well as guest appearances on the show from Raw and Smackdown talent) challenged him for the gold. Whilst Show had a couple of interesting new moves added to his arsenal, he was barely mobile and the title defences stunk as a result. Stars started getting moved over to the midcard from Raw/Smackers including a roided up Test, Hardcore Holly, Rene Dupree and Bobby Lashley, which only did more to alienate the product's target audience. 

That said, it wasn't all bad. There flashes of interesting activity during it's initial run, including a fun feud between Ric Flair and Mick Foley and the emergence of CM Punk into the picture. Things were actually starting to look relatively interesting as they headed towards the December to Dismember PPV, where an Extreme Elimination Chamber match would be contested over the ECW title, with weapons being thrown into the mix to spice things up. 

One of the favourites for the win heading into the show was CM Punk - but the additions of Sabu and RVD also gave cause for optimism. 

The show actually started off quite well with a decent tag team bout between the Hardy Boyz and MNM. But the rest of the midcard stank. Tommy Dreamer vs Daivari was effectively set up to put over the Great Khali, who would come out and Chokeslam Dreamer on the ramp post-match. The pairing of Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke were booked to triumph over the FBI, but Terkay looked clunky and terrible in the match and from memory didn't go on to do much after this point. 

But the Chamber match was the real reason for tuning in. So with that in mind, let's get to it. 

 

The match

WWE Network link: http://network.wwe.com/video/v31322549/?contentId=&contextType=wwe-show&contextId=december_to_dismember

There's trouble afoot before it begins - Sabu has been attacked backstage and now Hardcore Holly will take his place. Effectively, they didn't think Sabu had the ability to be in a main event match, hence pulling him. From a crowd perspective, Big Show was looked at with disdain, ditto Test. Lashley was an impressive specimen but it took time for the ECW faithful to warm to him. RVD was of course a hot favourite, and CM Punk was building a real head of steam by this point. The switch between Sabu/Holly did NOT go down well with the live crowd. 

Bob and Rob start. After four minutes of nothing, the action moves outside the ring. RVD does a Spiderman impression climbing the chains of the Chamber, but misses a dive. Bobcore goes to the top rope (?!) but dives right into a Van Dam boot to set up the only notable spot in the early exchanges - a Rolling Thunder which Bobcore prone on the steel. 

CM Punk is the first of the pod escapees and gets a roaring reception as you’d expect. His first action is to just lob a chair right into Bobcore’s face. Leapfrog clothesline to RVD. Punker grabs the chair and tosses it to RVD, but the latter tosses it right back into Punker’s mush. More chair-related shenanigans follow as RVD hits a monkey flip onto Punk who lands (awkwardly) onto the chair. Punk retaliates by hitting a clunky looking Fameasser onto said chair after a series of counters. Punk sets the chair up in the corner and just tosses Van Dam into it. This is good - I’m liking the increase in destruction as this rolls along. Van Dam blades. He’s hardcore! He’s hardcore! 

Punk turns his attentions to Bobcore and jumps off the top looking for a Hurricanrana, but Bob catches him and just chucks him into the chained wall of the chamber. Back in the ring, Bob hits Punk an EXTREME Side-slam. He’s Hardcore! He’s Hardcore! A Superplex is followed up by about a minute of stalling before Test enters the proceedings. 

Test has a crowbar as part of this weapons extravaganza and immediately clobbers Punk with it before wrenching it into Van Dam’s cranium. Van Dam gets a second wind and goes to town on everyone with the chair. Five ***** Frog Splash to Punk…1…2…3?!?!?!?!?! 

So the red-hot crowd favourite is eliminated first, and even though it’s ECW original RVD getting the pin, it still deflates the crowd. Then Test hits a big boot on Bobcore and it only appears to register a 2 count, but it looks as though the ref has fucked up the call and Bob is outta here. 

Van Dam goes after Test and sets up for a Five ***** Star Frog Splash from the top of the one of Big Show’s pod, only for the giant to grab his feet through the chains and prevent him from doing so. Test climbs up and clatters him with the chair before chucking him back down to the mat. He sets up the chair atop RVD’s prone carcass before HE then climbs Big Show’s pod and delivers an admittedly impressive Diving Elbow. It gets the pin and now Van Dam’s gone, as is the crowd’s patience as the turn on the proceedings. ECDub! ECDub!

We stall some more as Bobby Lashley is the next man to enter, only for Paul Heyman’s security force (The Basham Brothers in disguise I believe?) to tamper with his pod and prevent his escape. However, Lashley cleverly uses the table within his pod to break the chains of the roof of said pod and then gets into it with Test, with Big Show still waiting to enter the fray.

They go at it for a few minutes with Lashley desperately trying to keep the crowd onside, but no one’s having it. It’s not so much a Roman Reigns-type boo’ing reaction - they’re just done with it at this point. After some average brawling, the spear puts Test away.  

Show stalls his entry, but does so with Barbie. Crowd still isn’t buying it - even with the knowledge that a title change is all but on the way, with RVD and Punk out of the picture there’s nothing in this for them now. Show attacks with Barbie, Bobcore 2.0 using the chair to block the onslaught. They spill outside the ring and Show gets sent through a pod for his troubles. For all the crowd apathy here, at least we’re getting some cool visuals here. 

They go back in and Show gets back into the groove. He signals for the EXTREME Chokeslam, alas Bobcore 2.0 counters it to a tornado DDT. Spear! 1…2…3! ECDub! ECDub! 

So there you have it. Lashers wins the title and sets the course for a new direction for the brand. Must admit, the match was for more entertaining than I’d remembered, and if you ignore the problems with the brand at this point as a whole I think it’s much more enjoyable to watch in isolation, even with the crowd understandably not buying into it much. 

The Aftermath

Perhaps even more interesting than the actual match is the aftermath. The fallout from the show led to Paul Heyman leaving WWE after a massive falling out with Vince McMahon. Originally, Heyman wanted to book Punk as the victor, but Vince nixed the idea, evne when Big Show had been willing to put him over in the process. Show had a rematch with Lashley on the next instalment of ECW on Sci Fi before being granted his release, too broken down to carry on at that point. Tommy Dreamer and Steven Richards both asked for their releases after the show - both requests were declined. Heyman’s personal security force (again I think these were the Basham Brothers in disguise) put over Lashley a couple of weeks later in a handicap match and it wasn’t long before they too departed the company. 

Had more fun reviewing this than I thought I would - but it's probably only worth checking out if you're an absolute ECW completist.

[Jazzy G]

I drew ECW's Barely Legal 1997 and decided to review the"wrestling" match of the show.

This is something of a grudge match. Dean Douglas (c) Vs Pitbull Number 2 for the ECW TV Title. April 13, 1997 from the ECW Arena

Douglas comes out to the Network sanitised version of Deep Purple's Perfect Strangers flanked by some blokes who look like they've just turned up from their motorcycling school and Francine who looks like she's ready for bed in her negligee and some skimpy undies. This match came about because Shane Douglas Broke Pitbull  1's neck upon his return from "cartoon land" and then  repeatedly reinjured it on several following occasions with help from the Triple Threat.

Anyway, Douglas tells them to "Cut the music ha ha ha" and then goes on about setting the scene while Pitbull 1 (Gary Wolfe) is planted on the front row looking like he's in the middle of taking a massive shit.

Pitbull 2 runs out  to something that's been dubbed over his music and applies a front chancery as the fans chant for him. Douglas with a low blow and some running the ropes before we have to go to a resthold with Pitbull applying a headlock  as Styles talks about how Pitbull 2 using wrestling holds will lthrow the Franchise off his game. They make their feet and go off the ropes again, only for Pitbull 2 to give the Dean a drop toehold then a floatover into another front chancery. The crowd is obviously enraptured by the "action" playing out before them as they're silent, such is their concentration on the match. Douglas mounts a little comeback with a couple of shoulderblocks and an attempt at an Irish whip, which is reversed by Pitbull who looks to backdrop only to be countered into another front chancery. Pitbull picks the FrenchFries up and deposits him, gentleman's area first over the ropes. Meanwhile the "Riot squad" is still milling around in their motorbike gear with about as much enthusiasm as the dogs in the Kennel From Hell match as Francine leaves very little to the imagination under the arena lights. Pitbull shakes the top rope, then tries to Irish whip Douglas and is met with a punch before a couple of low blows from Pitbull bring Deano to a halt. The fans are chanting "break his neck" now as Francine is in hysterics at  ringside.

Gary Wolfe still hasn't finished his shit  as Douglas counters a powerbomb attempt into a very poorly timed "Hurrencanrana" as Joey calls it. Douglas kind of back somersaults off Pitbull's head, who then flips over into his back  a half second later. Styles calls it a "Cruiserweight move" and completely ignores that it was invented by Scott Steiner, who's probably larger than "The man who put the Extreme into ECW".

Pitbull goes for a running powerbomb, but Douglas manages to flip them both over the top rope to the floor then immediately rolls him back into the ring. Douglas hits a couple of piledrivers which look like they hurt him more than his opponent as he lands on his back every time he hits one.The fans are so into the match that they're chanting "She's got herpes" at Francine who responds by walking round to the hard camera side of the ring.

Douglas uses another of Steiner's favourite moves and sticks Pitbull 2 in the recliner right in front of Gary Wolfe and starts shouting abuse at him. He turns it into a side headlock which pitbull reverses and turns into a choke bomb, then an inverted atomic drop. Pitbull whips Douglas to the ropes and Douglas reverses into a high crossbody, or looks like he's been grabbed for a backdrop or something and Pitbull 2 seems to forget what he's going to do. At this point I really wish I'd decided to review Lance Storm Vs RVD, piss weak chair shots and all.

Pitbull puts Douglas back down on his feet and starts hitting him in the head before picking him up and delivering the fallaway slam over the top rope through the timekeeper's table at ringside. I'm guessing this is what he was supposed to do first time around. A couple of the fans start chanting ECW, but they're really not arsed. Douglas ends up in front of Gary Wolfe who hops the barrier and starts trying to brawl with yer "Franchise" until black leather security drag him to the back. At this point Pitbull 2 has got a bit of a guardrail which still has streamers on it from the previous match (a Michinoku Pro 6 man tag) and I realise I'm probably reviewing the worst match on this card.

Pitbull has the rail in the ring and probably has evil intentions, his strategy had deviated from trying to break Douglas's neck to just hitting him in the dick at every opportunity. He picks up Douglas as the fans bay for blood, then sets him up to try and crotch him on the guardrail but Douglas escapes down the back and tries to crotch Pitbull instead. The problem is that on the way up Durante (he's called Anthony Durante, isn't he? I just remembered) is flailing his legs and kicks the guardrail over, so Douglas puts him down on the mat and he lands awkwardly.

Douglas with a headbutt to the cods like what Bret used to do then rolls Pitbull to the outside and drops the guardrail on him. He then stands the guardrail up and tries to crotch him on the guardrail again, only to hang him over it by one knee. Durante positions himself properly on the rail in time to receive a chairshot from Douglas and a couple of kidney punches. Any semblence of psychology and storytelling has now gone out of the window as Douglas stands on Pitbull at ringside before rolling him back in and taking him to the corner for some shots. The crowd chants boring as Pitbull 2 makes a comeback, then  they start chainting "She's a whore" at Ms Fournier.

Douglas goes up top then lands in a bearhug from Pitbull who sticks Douglas back on the top rope and gets kicked off for his efforts. He gets back up and manages to counter another Douglas effort from the top with a not too bad dropkick and a double down. Francine is begging for Douglas to get back up as she tries to cover herself up.

Both men back to their feet, only to do another doubledown from a clothesline.

Both men back up and Pitbull hits a shoulder block, then a clothesline and then a powerslam on Douglas on repeated runs off the ropes.Then the nearfalls begin. A 2, another clothesline and a 2, then a press slam and a 2. Douglas rolls to the ropes and is handed brass knucks by Francine. He punches Pitbull, then breaks some table over him for another nearfall. Chairshot. Nearfall. Fans not arsed, Styles losing his mind, Timekeeper's bell? 2. Another bit of table? 2. Belt shots then Douglas grabs a chain from his boot, gets pump handled by Pitbull for another 2.

Durante grabs the chain and hits Douglas with it as Chris Candido runs down to the ring with his arm in a sling, he distracts Pitbull for about 3 seconds, which is enough time for  Douglas to recover to his feet after being punched by a man with a chain wrapped around his fist and give Durante a roll-up for ANOTHER 2 COUNT! OH MY GOD! Pitbull give Douglas a shortarm clothesline then celebrates before running off the ropes, allowing Douglas to duck a clothesline and turn around to deliver an overhead belly to belly suplex for a very quick 3 count. Scott Steiner calls his lawyer and starts putting together a gimmick infringement suit. 

Rick Rude's voice echoes over the PA  saying that he's going to take off the mask if he gets the girl. The blokes in helmets are back and somebody trots down the entryway in a mask and one of Rick Rude's robes, but without the moustache as Styles says "There's no mistaking that that's Rick Rude." He comes in and plants a big old smooch on Francine, only to get attacked from behind by Douglas who then unmasks him, only to reveal it's really Bulldozer Brian Lee who announces his departure from the Triple Threat by giving Douglas a Chokeslam. One of the security guys takes his helmet off to reveal he's actually the Ravishing one to a massive pop as Candido throws up the Triple Threat hand sign from the outside and Francine looks on, half surprised by Brian Lee's betrayal, half wondering whether she can have a go at Rick Rude herself but Douglas, once again no-selling the chokeslam grabs her and they leave, flanked by the rest of the security guys as Rude and the former fake Undertaker celebrate in the ring. "What next for Ravishing Rick Rude in ECW?" asks Joey Styles, to which I believe the answer is a cup of coffee with DX and a brief spell in the nWo 

Anyway, thoughts on the match: Not awful, not the kind of match for those two to be having in front of that crowd, Douglas is not the man to be carrying anybody, and Durante isn't the kind of wrestler to be having this kind of a match. They should have just been hammering the crapout of each other for 10 minutes. I don't recall many grudge matches requiring front  chanceries. Weakest match on the card, crowd didn't enjoy it and I didn't particularly either. Other wrestlers would be able to have the same match and do it better. Barely Legal 97 is generally worth a look, though.