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Michael Owen Is A Boring Twat 2: Never Had A Cuppa


Devon Malcolm

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4 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I love the smell of coffee but hate the taste and the feeling you get after drinking it, and how it makes a person stink. As such I love coffee flavoured things, like chocolates or a tiramisu. (Yes, I'm aware there's real coffee in these things but it's mixed with other ingredients).

As much as I have tried, I can only drink it with some Stevia / fake sugar or with a flavoured syrup. sugar free hazlenut is my go to. Always on offer in TK Maxx for some reason  

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I like pretty much all hot drinks - black/green/oolong tea, coffee, chai, cocoa, hot chocolate, fruit/herb teas, Bovril, and so on. Only one I don't like is liquorice, but I don't like that in anything; too sickly.

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What is wrong with the sense of smell of you lot. Tea clearly has a smell. It smells different when it is dry as to when it is brewed. Different teas smell different as well, in the same way that different coffees smell different. If you can't smell the difference between Tetley's and Earl Grey then there is something definitely wrong with you. 

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Two cups of coffee is enough for me in a day and even then I sometimes have to cut back as it effects my sleep.

All the cool kids now drink bubble tea, that stuff's so good, especially the red bean and taro flavours. In the local cafe i was known as "that guy" because I was the only white person who'd order them.

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There are some really good bubble tea places in Chinatown (unsurprisingly). My favourites are almond, coconut, black sesame, and melon (separately, of course).

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I do, but then that's mainly because it doesn't sit well with me to waste food and drink. 

Most places like Bubbleology give you the option of halving the portion of "bubbles", though.

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Just now, Chest Rockwell said:

Sounds like you're not enjoying it very much if that is the only compelling reason!

I've worded it badly. I enjoy it, but I'll always finish it, even on the odd occasion I've got to the point where I've had too much, because I don't want to waste it.

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I tend to try and limit myself to 3-4 coffees a day - beyond that, I start to feel a bit ill. Used to drink considerably more.

Almost everyone in my office drinks tea, and it's only a few of us on coffee - and two of them use the coffee machine every day, rather than making themselves a cup, so it usually falls on me to buy the coffee in the first place. I thought I'd stop buying it, as no one ever thanked me for it and just took it for granted, so I figured I'd let someone else top it up this time. What actually happened is that, come today, all that was left was the dregs of some posh vanilla flavoured coffee, and it was fucking revolting. 

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