Jump to content

Michael Owen Is A Boring Twat 2: Never Had A Cuppa


Devon Malcolm

Recommended Posts

  • Moderators
6 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I think it's pretty unadventurous to have never even tried it tbh.

It's not ayahuasca! It's hot brown water which smells unpleasant enough to me that I don't want it in my mouth. It's not even like I'm a picky eater, like those lads in the papers who only eat Wotsits or McCain Microchips, but both are rancid to me on a sensory level.

In no way do I wear it like a badge of honour, but if people are reading that Michael Owen article and thinking it's not even possible, I'm going to point out that it totally is.
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't drink tea of coffee now, but I have done.  Even as a child I had tea.  If you've never had a cup then how do you know you don't like it?  Is it the smell?  Mind, I used to eat loads of cheese as a nipper but now the smell of it makes me wretch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

8 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Yeah I'm sure I'll love that stinking brown water that makes me retch when I catch a whiff of it.

Yes, why risk the 10 seconds discomfort it might cause you. Best not try a small amount of one of the most popular drinks in the country, once in entire your lifetime.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members
1 hour ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Right after I've fished some turds out of the toilet to have a chew on.

You’re doing it wrong, caffeine can act as a laxative, so you should drink the tea / coffee first, then have a shit.

Eating the shit afterwards is optional and completely your call.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

You’re doing it wrong, caffeine can act as a laxative, so you should drink the tea / coffee first, then have a shit.

I like to call them shatalysts. 

Astro, I think people are just keen to disassociate you from the King of Beige. He's like the opposite of the guy from the dos equis adverts in America. "I don't always have hot drinks... In fact, I never do. Don't get thirsty, my friends." 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Tea doesn't really have a smell, does it? Coffee, sure. I could see that somebody might not like the smell of coffee and therefore never have tried it (although as someone who loves coffee, I would say that person is missing out!) But right now I'm thinking of making a cup of tea, just to see what it smells like because I've never considered it and can't right now really imagine it's smell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members
3 minutes ago, FelatioLips said:

I wonder where I fall in this whole Tea saga, being that I think putting milk or sugar in any type of tea is rancid. Herbal and Green Teas are where it's at. Regular tea has to be black and even then it's rubbish.

You've drunk tea therefore you're not Astro Owen. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I love tea but despise coffee and it pains me they are usually paired together just because they are hot drinks. They're not comparable. Tea is a heart warming relaxing hug in a mug of a drink, while coffee is a bitter smelly soup for masochists too scared to do cocaine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Probably done the rounds already but this video of a young Owen taking scoring past a 13 year old kid a little too seriously is priceless.

And if you still haven't booked that winter holiday, Owen has your back:

 

Edited by Chunk
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...