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Michael Owen Is A Boring Twat 2: Never Had A Cuppa


Devon Malcolm
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I always wondered what Father Stone did after being struck by lightning and plainly he embarked upon a career in professional football.

I mean, that has to be a lie. I can't see any way it isn't. The fact he's lying about something so catastrophically boring is almost worse than it being true.

Edited by Gus Mears
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Surely everyone has their first cuppa when they're a kid? Is his mum also so boring that she never made him a cup of tea?

He's so weird. He seems so oblivious of how weird he is, like nobody has ever gone up to him and said, "You don't like films or reading or tea or coffee? You're mental!" He also seems so proud of the fact that he has his mum and wife do everything for him. How would you put up with living with Michael Owen?

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After his football career Michael Owen owned a racehorse called Brown Panther. If he was to read The Joy Of Shitting thread on here I doubt it would occur to him to call his morning shit "Letting Brown Panther out for his morning gallop"

The boring bastard. 

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Even Frank Skinner and co on Absolute Radio are discussing his lies.

They’re basically calling it odd and can’t get their heads around it even being possible, to never have had a hot drink.

Because let’s be honest, if he’s never had tea or coffee, there’s no way in hell he’s had a Horlicks or a Bovril.

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46 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

Even Frank Skinner and co on Absolute Radio are discussing his lies.

They’re basically calling it odd and can’t get their heads around it even being possible, to never have had a hot drink.

That's because everyone's a fucking weirdo who has to constantly be clasping a mug of tea or coffee, or putting the kettle on, or asking people if they want one, or harping on about it, in some worldwide case of OCD where they'll simply die if there isn't a hot mug within grasping distance. The only hot drink I've ever had is soup, you bunch of animals.

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31 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said:

That's because everyone's a fucking weirdo who has to constantly be clasping a mug of tea or coffee, or putting the kettle on, or asking people if they want one, or harping on about it, in some worldwide case of OCD where they'll simply die if there isn't a hot mug within grasping distance. The only hot drink I've ever had is soup, you bunch of animals.

You’re 1 hot liquid more interesting than Michael Owen then.

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