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Devon Malcolm

Everybody loves shit neighbours

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18 hours ago, 5pints said:

Hang on,  What was the landlord doing with his wife? Putting the rent up her again?!!

fixed

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I used to live next to that wanker from Still Open All Hours. Not David Jason, the one playing his nephew/son or whatever. My Dad used to work with his Dad as well. "Fucking Baxter's son" as he's known in our house. During the production of Captain Hook at the Sunderland Empire in 2006, Michael Barrymore was stopping there. I didnt see him, but you could feel his presence. Especially in the bath.

Edited by IANdrewDiceClay

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We get on great with our closest neighbour and always manage to have a laugh with him. He’s currently having an extension built and the builders are making a bit of a pig’s ear of it, poor bugger.

Anyway, about 6 months back I put a WiFi access point in the garage so I can stream Netflix etc when I’m working out. I needed a new name for it, and as I was setting it up I happened to be watching the Alan Partridge horse racing commentary clip on YouTube. I’ve always lost it when he announced one of the the horses as ‘Sinead O’Connor’. So that’s what my WiFi access point is called.

Last weekend, my neighbour messaged me to excitedly tell me that “someone near us has got WiFi called Sinead O’Connor!”

Since then, I’ve renamed it to “Your extension is shit” but he hasn’t spotted it yet...

Edited by scratchdj

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23 minutes ago, scratchdj said:

Since then, I’ve renamed it to “Your extension is shit” but he hasn’t spotted it yet...

Passive aggressive SSIDs are one of my favourite things, after pun ones.

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A few months ago when we had that really hot weather during Easter time, next door rented a hot tub for a few days. I went to work one morning and they were all in it at 8:15am. Clearly getting their money's worth. Or just having a fancy bath before heading out for the day.

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29 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

Passive aggressive SSIDs are one of my favourite things, after pun ones.

Mine is currently "Nacho WiFi"

The house I live in has been converted into 3 flats, thus we have 3 bins.  I'm always catching next door using them after theirs get full and no amount of me saying "Just ask first as we can all suss out whose bin has enough space" has done the trick, so was thinking of changing it to "Stop using my fucking bin" or just putting a picture of Digitisers Mr T on the bins.

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My colleague at work saw someone using her bin a couple times because the binstore is in eyeline from her doorbell camera. With my help and encouragement we printed out pictures of the culprit on A3 and she stuck them up around the place with a note saying "please don't use my bin". Public shaming worked in this instance and it hasn't happened again since - which of course I was a bit disappointed about as I was hoping for some kind of escalation.

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I do love a good bin saga. The flats my girlfriend used to live in had a sign up in the been store saying something along the lines of "If I catch who doesn't put their rubbish in the bin properly, I will personally take it to your flat and dump it outside your door. YOU ARE SCUM" It was up for months. 

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1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

Mine is currently "Nacho WiFi"

Mine's "Police Surveillance Van"

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I've had to put nylon ties on our bins because my mum caught the nearby Thai restaurant dumping a load of shit in ours. There's no regaining your dignity with the neighbours once they've seen you tying up your bin.

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11 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

will smith no GIF

I think that’s the most insulted I’ve ever been on here. Fucking Big Will

7 hours ago, 5pints said:

Clearly too subtle for you. 🙄

Yeah happens a lot, but cheers for the lols

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Had a Dementia guy next door who was fun and games (not really). Phoning the police on us saying we were trying to kidnap him to put him in a "butchers meat grinder"?"?"?"? ?

Going out in long-johns, with his cock hanging out, like Albert Steptoe too.

Got an Italian who likes opera-singing above me now, which I think is rather odd for the East End of Glasgow.

Edited by bAzTNM#1

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