Banish Belated Backlash Boredom by Reviewing Random Riots

[Guest]

I was too curious to even wait for this one, so here comes the slobberknocker that is MARIA KANELLIS V KURT ANGLE.

Alright, so set the placement marker a bit before the match and there's recaps of HHH v Flair at Survivor Series, decent match that. Maria comes into Bischoff's office with a microphone looking like she's on interview duty, Eric looks stressed and Maria asks him if he thinks he's going to get fired tonight. Eric asks her to repeat that and she does. Apparently Shane McMahon told her to come in and ask that. Eric makes the match with Kurt Angle, to a surprisingly muted crowd reaction, you'd think surprise factor alone would garner a bit of a pop there - like when Teddy Long announced JBL would fight Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match. Maria says she's an interviewer not a wrestler but Eric insists the match is happening or she's fired!

"sweet little Maria" as Joey Styles on commentary puts it is now in the ring, looking all worried and stuff. ARABIC CHANTING, out comes Daivari in a referee shirt! This is apparently during a spell where Daivari was Angle's personal referee and would ref every single one of his matches. Chad Patton isn't keen however and war of words between him and Daivari ends up with him punching Daivari, Daivari begs off and feigns leaving but comes back in and jumps Patton from behind and sticks him in the Camel Clutch to USA chants, then he chucks him out of the ring and gobs on him. Kurt Angle out now and there are bleeps censoring every single "you suck" during his music. Kurt gets on the mic and says he's not going to hurt a woman, asks for a hug and to call it a day. Maria looks apprehensive but they hug for a bit then Angle smirks and tightens the grip, Maria screams while Daivari rings the bell and Angle hits a big Angle Slam! Angle has the Ankle Lock on for a couple of seconds before Cena sprints down and takes Kurt out. Cena is then jumped by Chris Masters who locks in the Masterlock while Kurt and Daivari get shots in on him. Nutshot from Angle. Bischoff comes out and says he wants to see Cena tap out, so books Cena v Angle v Masters in a no DQ submission match for WWE Championship in the main event.

All in all, a bit underwhelming. I thought it might've been a surprise entrant for Angle's open challenge he had around that time period. It'd be six stars if it was in the Tokyo Dome though.

 

One for another time;

Finish of The Hurricane vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. |
SmackDown 144 | Smackdown Replays | 2002-05-23

[Mr.Showtime]

THE GREAT KABUKI VS ICE MAN KING PARSONS | 
#66 | WCCW | 1983-03-20

The date on the generator says 20th March 1983, but the Network lists it as April 2nd - I guess that's the taping date then the air date? No idea. Anyways I was born in the middle of those dates that year so I either existed or didn't when this took place. I think I've head of The Great Kabuki, but I've absolutely no idea who Ice Man King Parsons is.

I've barely watched any WCCW so I skimmed through the rest of the show to get a feel for it - this match happens to be the main event anyway. We see Bill Mercer at the start running down the card for us.

Mercer: "The...(one word in, and he has to glance at his notes) Iceman, King Parsons. Well, some people are saying he hasn't beaten anyone yet, but if he wins this one they'll be saying 'hey, he IS somebody' because he'll be taking on The Great Kabuki, who is coming back after being injured about (checks notes again) six weeks ago. First up tonight we'll have Billy the Kid and Little Cocoa - the midgets. This will be a great crowd pleaser - the kids are gonna love this one."

Here's Little Coco and Billy the Kid incase you were wondering.

 

Before the main event we get a segment called "Opinions on the Iceman." We need "Opinions on Roman Reigns" on Raw, for sure. David Von Erich says the Iceman is a real happening kind of guy. He gets out there and boogies. Michael Hayes of the Freebirds says Iceman has a really big streak going for him but streaks are made to be broken. Hang on, the boy at the start says he hasn't beaten anyone. Did he mean "anyone of note"? Okay, so he's on a winning streak and he boogies. For some reason I'm picturing Brodus Clay. I wonder if he has some sexy ladies with him. I'm very excited for the Iceman now. King Kong Bundy is ringside in the corner of the Great Kabuki and he says something about Kamala showing up soon. Eh?

Oh. This is the Iceman. The bout starts off with slaps, chops, forearms to the back, a hiptoss or two - but no dancing! Not a hint of a wee jig from the supposed dance-master Iceman. The Great Kabuki just stalks around the ring like the Undertaker, with hair so big it looks like he might have no face. His hands and wrists are green because he spent the first few seconds of the match wasting all his green mist on himself. Fool. But soon enough Kabuki gets a grip on the bout, literally, with a move the commentator doesn't name but which I can only call the Double Tit-Grab.

The Iceman looks to be in debilitating pain as Kabuki squeezes the bejeezus out of his nips, but Iceman fights out of the hold with a headbutt right to the breadbasket. Parsons, finally, does a little knee-shake "dance" thing for about a split second, like a funky Hulk-up, but Kabuki gets back in control with various kicks, neck holds and chokes. The fans are starting to get into it every time Iceman tries to fight out of a hold, and he makes a comeback with punches, bodyslams and a back bodydrop. But then the Iceman stick Kabukes into an arm hold for two minutes, bleh! Kabuki turns the tables and grabs Iceman's boobs AGAIN! Less than 5 minutes after the first time. Iceman gets out of this one by simply punching Kabuki in the face. He retaliates by kicking Iceman to the ground then biting him in the neck. Freak! Biggest move in the match so far as Kabuki scales to the top rope, waits for Iceman to get up, lunges at him with a tomahawk-like chop to the head...and Iceman no-sells! Two more chops do nothing, Iceman whips Kabuki into the ropes, it's reversed, Kabuki tries a back bodydrop, Iceman flips over and almost lands on his feet, recovers, hits a dropkick, throws Kabuki into the ropes and smashes him with a weak-looking Naomi butt-bump! He covers, one, two, three, it's over! Iceman runs off into the crowd, kids chasing after him and waving autograph paper in his face. We get no reaction from Kabuki, or King Kong Bundy, and there was certainly no Kamala...

Backstage and the host is sitting down with Iceman for an interview. "I went out there and was only thinking of one thang, and that's winning. And the whole time I was out there winning, I was boogying, getting down..." No you weren't, you liar! You had ONE dance move - wobbling your knees a little bit. "Now I'mma leave y'all with this. I'm not bad. Understand what I'm saying. I'm not bad. But bad people don't mess with the Iceman, coz the Iceman can get down and boogie and I know y'all can dig it."

All in all, a fair 80s main event I'm sure. Iceman King Parsons needs to iron out some kinks but the boy's got potential. I'm gonna have to Wikipedia him now.

The show ends with a card showing next week's main event - Kevin Von Erich challenging Ric Flair for the World Title. Dammit!

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

On 5/10/2018 at 11:26 PM, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

 

I don't like this game any more. 

Couldn't put this off any longer, so here goes. 

 

I've not seen this before and right off the bat the odd thing is that Michelle is captain of her team because she is Women's Champion, Mickie is captain of her team even though Melina is Divas Champion and she is on the team. 

 

Anyway to the teams. Team Michelle is Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, and Alicia Fox. 

Team Mickie is Mickie James, Melina, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Eve Torres. 

Layla eliminated first after some shite offense by Kelly Kelly. McCool comes in and wrestler a bit with Gail. This is the best part of the match, Gail is easily the best worker. She is eliminated by McCool.  Some more shite work occurs then Eve eliminates Jillian with a diving sunset flip,  she doesn't really gran Jillian so she has to fall down herself to get pinned. Eve and Kelly Kelly out next to Beth Phoenix's finish in quick succession. Phoenix eliminated by Mickie with a really shit crucifix where Phoenix just seemed to fall over awkwardly mostly onto Mickie. Alicia Fox is clumsier than a baby giraffe on rollerskates and she is eliminated next by Mickie with a Thesz Press from the top rope. You will notice Melina has not been in this match at all so far. In she comes now and pins McCool with her finisher leaving her and Mickie as the survivors. 

This was shit. It's got Eve, Alicia Fox, and Jillian so it really had no chance. How Mickie James has a job 9 years on from this is a mystery. Only Gail Kim would really fit in with this new era of women's wrestling. 

 

Next up. Where Bob Holly fits into this I don't know. Nowhere hopefully. 

[Fatty Facesitter]

Try watching:
KURT ANGLE VS DEAN VISK | 
SMACKDKOWN 274 | SMACKDOWN REPLAYS | 2004-11-18

Quite a fun Angle squash match from late 2004. 

It's the first time they're doing the 'Kurt Angle Invitational' where each week a hometown hero/jobber will get the opportunity to face Kurt, and if they beat your Olympic Hero, they'll only go and get his Olympic gold medals won't they? 

Dean Visk, a HOSS from Dayton, Ohio is the first man to answer the call. 

Angle: "What's your name?"

Dean (with not the most booming of deliveries): "My name is Dean Visk"

Angle: "...You don't mind if I call you Dean right?"

Angle takes him down amateur style and slaps the big man around a bit, and looks like he's genuinely enjoying himself. 

Then Deano gets to throw in a takedown of his own. Angle pauses to offer him a gold clap and a handshake. But as Visk goes to return the handshake, he gets slapped in the face for being a gullible fool. 

Angle roughs him up a bit before hitting him with a sweet belly to belly suplex, before the Angle Slam/Ankle Lock finishes it. He goes to ground and further sinches in the hold to further establish his dickheaded-ness in this scenario. 

Always like to see established stars make mince-meat out of local jobbers. This would actually be a good way to establish a new arrival in the company today who specialises in a more submission-based background. 

[HarmonicGenerator]

I seem to remember Dean Visk being a highlight of Paul Heyman’s run in OVW. His thing was the most intense, vein-popping promos you’ve ever seen - he was never at less than 1000% Warrior-level spittle-spraying madness at any time. Very entertaining especially when his stablemate was Bobby Babyvoice Lashley.

Anyway, 

MARC MERO VS THE GOON | 
EPISODE 169 | RAW REPLAYS | 1996-07-22

 

I've not seen that much Marc Mero before - my first impressions of him were formed by the not-very-favourable write-up he got in Mick Foley's first book - and the only Goon match I've seen before is the Gimmick Battle Royal. So this could be fun.

The arena (which is a nice looking arena, I have to say, it's in Seattle) does not react to The Goon. Stunning entrance music. They stand up for Mero but I very much suspect Sable's who they want. 

According to McMahon and Lawler this is only Goon's second match - judging by the sneak attack and brawling style, I guess they were going for a 'hockey fight' gimmick with him? 

Stone Cold's on commentary and the others focus on him which is just as well because the match is horrible. I get the sense the Goon is not very good, because it's that or he's having a hell of an off night. This is terrible. They've had to ring up Jake Roberts and get him on the phone now - so there's a combination of Sable, Austin and Jake all trying to take our minds off what's going on in the ring.

Lawler laughing his arse off and taunting Jake about his alcoholism has not aged well.

Nobody has paid attention to the match since the first few seconds. Austin threatens McMahon, who now decides to focus on the match for a bit. Mero's trying, bless him, but Goon is SO bad here. Austin's using the time to get himself over and rightly so - he's doing a hell of a job too.

Mero wins.

Worth watching? No. It's a really, really bad match, but the saving grace is Stone Cold on commentary - so if you can appreciate Austin, there's a saving grace.

 

What's next?

BROCK LESNAR VS RIKISHI | 
EPISODE 156 | SMACKDOWN REPLAYS | 2002-08-15

Yes! This is more like it! I remember this match from when it happened. Happy with this selection!

[boytoy]

Try watching:
TOTALLY BUFFED VS GOLDBERG, SGT. DEWAYNE BRUCE | 
WCW SIN 2001 | SIN | 2001-01-14

[WyattSheepMask]

Wasn’t Dean Visk’s thing in OVW that he was strung on caffeine the whole, hence the Warrior-level vein popping intensity?

[Onyx2]

I watched Edge v Rikishi from SmackDown 39, September 2000 (just ahead of Judgment Day where Bikertaker will debut).

Edge is accompanied by Christian and Angle, in hockey garb of the stadium's rival so they can do the well-trodden "mock the sports team" shtick. 

Rikishi is with Too Cool

The match is a 2 minute non-finish but is cute enough. Rikishi goes for a stink face early but Edge cleverly uses a hockey mask as a makeshift gas mask-

-so Edge is immune. Rikishi drags him around to drop the bum but everyone invades the ring for DQs all round. 

The crowd are fucking rabid the whole way through. You could serve them Jinder v Ziggler and they'd eat it up. 

[HarmonicGenerator]

On 5/21/2018 at 1:28 PM, HarmonicGenerator said:

BROCK LESNAR VS RIKISHI | 
EPISODE 156 | SMACKDOWN REPLAYS | 2002-08-15

Me again. I couldn't wait to watch this one because I love 2002 SmackDown. 

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THE BEAUTIFAAAAAAAAA

Oh, it's a thing of beauty. 2002 SmackDown. It's the best.

This episode alone has Edge & Mysterio vs. Los Guerreros and The Rock vs. You-Know-Who. Lesnar comes out at the start of the episode wearing a Hulkamania t-shirt but he must lose it between the opening promo and the match later on.

At the point this match takes place, there've been 9 years or so since Rikishi was a Headshrinker. Between this match and right now, it's been 16 years. Time, eh.

There's a lovely little moment at the start of the match where Brock uses his amateur skills to outwrestle Kish, who gives him a veteran smile of 'nicely done, but it won't happen again', and the camera cuts to Brock smirking like 'it fucking will mate'. 

Rikishi uses the weight advantage for a bit but Brock soon takes over and hits an overhead belly to belly on Rikishi, which is impressive. Bearhug applied. Braun Strowman would do a good bearhug. When Kish makes his comeback he absolutely CHARGES out of the corner and right into Brock, genuinely looked like Lesnar didn't expect it because that was a heck of a collision. Heyman interferes, Rikishi stalls for the stink face for an age, Lesnar is kicked out of the ring and Heyman eats it. This however gives Lesnar time to get in position to hit an F5. Rikishi stays down for 3 and at home, his relative Roman Reigns is taking notes on how to kick out of six times as many and still not get the reaction Rikishi got when he stuck his bum in Paul Heyman's face.

Decent TV match. If you like your Brock Lesnar, or just want to see him looking like he's arsed, try this out. 

 

What's next?

JEFF HARDY AND HURRICANE VS STORM AND REGAL | 
RAW 496 | RAW REPLAYS | 2002-11-25

Sticking with 2002. I'm game.

[cobra_gordo]

Was bored this morning so had a go on the randomizer. Got The Rock and Earl Hebner vs Triple H, Road Dogg and X-Pac from 4th May 2000 Smackdown. It's for the title and it changes hands whether Rock or Earl get pinned or submitted. It's a fairly fun TV main event with run-ins from Vince, Shane, Patterson, Jericho, Rikishi, Big Show AND The Dudleys but there's never any doubt Rock isn't retaining, but as an angle, it's enjoyable and cements the McMahon-Helmsley regime as utter bastards.

The thing I wanted to mention more than anything though is that the difference between this and what we get now is night and day. The pop Rock gets is ridiculous, there's signs everywhere, the crowd stays on their feet and are screaming and making noise and are so in to the match from start to finish. I've watched recent Manias where the crowd weren't this bothered. Even Cole and King are good on commentary. Give this a watch, I had a massive smile on my face throughout.