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The Batshit World of Noel Edmonds


Gus Mears

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45 minutes ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

I'm excited for the inevitable anti I'm A Celeb radio station he sets up after getting eliminated.

Got to stop stealing jokes from Chilli.

Nah, posting a chilli joke on here is like the Greeks lifting the Elgin Marbles, you're returning it to its rightful home is all.

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To the surprise of nobody...from BBC

Quote

Ā 

Noel Edmonds claimed on I'm A Celebrity that he has a tactic for beating traffic - driving in bus lanes.

The Deal or No Deal presenter said he originally drove a black cab to get to and from work more quickly, before upgrading to a bus after getting a ticket for using the wrong lane.

"Bristol traffic is chaotic," he told the ITV1 show.

But Bristol Council has now said their bus lanes are only for licensed buses - "not celebrities".

'How the other half live'

Noel, currently in Australia for the jungle-based reality show, said his wife Liz initially bought him a black cab and that, by driving in bus lanes, he shaved an hour off his commute.

While he said this was "totally legal", he told campmates that after the council installed CCTV in bus lanes, he got a ticket.

"So having got the ticket, I didn't take my cab in the bus lane," he said. "I did what any sane person would do. I bought a bus. I've a Routemaster bus."

"How the other half live," commented fellow competitor Fleur East - echoing the thoughts of many others on social media who were surprised at his admission.

The 69-year-old added: "One of the extraordinary things about licensing in the UK is that you can drive it on a car licence, as long as there are no more than nine people on board."

That's correct - asĀ confirmed by the DVLA. While they said they couldn't advise specifically on an individual driver or vehicle, passenger-carrying vehicles can be driven by anyone using a category B car driving licence.

That's as long as the vehicle is at least 30 years old, isn't carrying more than eight passengers (as Noel said), and isn't being used for reward or hire.

'Not a touch on bushtucker trials'

However, if he's using it in Bristol's bus lanes as he insinuated, he may not be able to do so any longer.

A Bristol City Council spokesman told the BBC: "While the penalties we issue aren't a touch on bushtucker trials, our bus lanes are just for licensed buses, taxis and cyclists, not celebrities."

The council's bus lanes are monitored by CCTV cameras, with any motorist using a bus lane illegally issued with a penalty charge notice.

The council said their bus lanes are "placed strategically to try and improve journey times around the city and we ask that people abide by the law".

Noel may have more luck if he moves house however, because whether or not a bus is allowed in a bus lane (without paying passengers, that is) depends on where in the country that bus lane is - different areas have different rules.

Transport for London, for example, said normally all buses are allowed on the city's roads as long as a bus has nine seats for passengers, plus the driver's seat.

"There is no regulation on whether it's a public/private bus or whether the passengers have paid," a spokeswoman said.

Noel isn't the first famous person to use an unusual mode of transport - theĀ Duke of Edinburgh had his own black cabĀ for many years, to allow him to travel inconspicuously.

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They do this every year. Dull fuckers get the imunity, and they are stuck with them at the end. Producers fucked up worse than when Big Brother put Ray J in and he just sat there saying nothing because the money was already in his account. Watching the interview at the end, Noel kept mentioning a top 10 Noel experiences list, which I find intriguing as hell. An @Astro Hollywood blog if there ever was one.

10. The time Duncan Goodhew brought a finishing net in an attempt at cheating on "Grab A Grand" and ended up with the worst total prize money in the shows history.

9. The time Ian Beale turned up on House Party during the tashe years and got gunged.Ā 

8. Any Gotcha that involved Noel grabbing a bit of tit.

7 ...

Edited by IANdrewDiceClay
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They really have fucked the show doing that Immunity Games shite. None of the celebs really care, and it doesn't offer the viewers anything different to the Bush Tucker and Dingo Dollar challenges we already see them do.

Anyone know why the window for voting was so small? The lines were open less than ten minutes.Ā 

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Its always funny seeing the big "we've made it this far, I'm a stronger person for it" story of the I'm A Celeb contestants every year. Because you know the producers are sitting there going "more more rats on that cunt Barrowman." The only winners on this show is the show itself. There's Harry. 72 year old, have to put cockroaches in his gob so some twat from X Factor gets to be on telly one more day.

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