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The Mental Health thread

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7 hours ago, Cod Eye said:

I'm on Mirtrazopine. My doc put me on them(and Amityptoline) so he could take away my sleeping tablets. 

I'm on 45mg(I think, might be 30) and my mental health has never been so consistently good. I feel so chilled out all the time and nothing is getting on top of me anymore.

Only down side is how long it takes me to come around on a morning, but its a worthy trade off to be able to sleep better and feel the closest to my normal that I have been for years...

I think my mate is on them too and he was amazed at how well it worked out for him, what with his confidence and anxiety.

I'm finally taking the step to go to the doctor to get hooked up on anything that may help my unending anxiety and what not. I've had bouts of depression for over a decade now, but I keep putting it off because I'm somewhat ashamed to ask for help (I know, daft), but I've never felt as low as I've felt in the past few weeks. I've found meditation, exercise and even things like the Wim Hof method worked for me in the past, but it's just impossible now. I need to get shit done and make some changes in my professional life to get better (i.e. leave my current job and maybe change career), but anxiety is such a bugger because all you have is doubts and doubts and more doubts, even if they're silly.

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I took my first dose (15mg) of Mirtazapine earlier and holy crap do they make you drowsy. It wasn't until after I slept a couple hours that I read you're supposed to take them before bed. I've been on three different SSRIs in the past, so this is new. Thing is, they also have me a two week supply of Zopiclone at the same time!

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13 hours ago, ColinBollocks said:

I think my mate is on them too and he was amazed at how well it worked out for him, what with his confidence and anxiety.

I'm finally taking the step to go to the doctor to get hooked up on anything that may help my unending anxiety and what not. I've had bouts of depression for over a decade now, but I keep putting it off because I'm somewhat ashamed to ask for help (I know, daft), but I've never felt as low as I've felt in the past few weeks. I've found meditation, exercise and even things like the Wim Hof method worked for me in the past, but it's just impossible now. I need to get shit done and make some changes in my professional life to get better (i.e. leave my current job and maybe change career), but anxiety is such a bugger because all you have is doubts and doubts and more doubts, even if they're silly.

Not daft at all mate! 

I lost count of the amount of times I beat myself up(making my depression worse in the process) about being down and depressed over the years before I was made to seek help by my other half. It's the best thing I ever did....

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If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be long for this world.

I've been on around 4 different SSRI's but none have worked in the long term. Work/most people just don't understand when I explain to them that there's something in my head that just won't go away. It eats away constantly and I don't know how long I can keep my head above water anymore. My nerves are frayed and help is non-existent in these parts. I have nothing left in the tank at the moment. I can't keep toughing it out either.

For those who have or experienced similar situations, how have you managed to get through it?

I fear this the end for me but I'm not going without a fight.

Thank-you for any help.

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1 hour ago, Rule One said:

If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be long for this world.

I've been on around 4 different SSRI's but none have worked in the long term. Work/most people just don't understand when I explain to them that there's something in my head that just won't go away. It eats away constantly and I don't know how long I can keep my head above water anymore. My nerves are frayed and help is non-existent in these parts. I have nothing left in the tank at the moment. I can't keep toughing it out either.

For those who have or experienced similar situations, how have you managed to get through it?

I fear this the end for me but I'm not going without a fight.

Thank-you for any help.

If it's really at that point, I would say you need to go - right now - and seek professional help. I don't know where you're based but where I am, for example, there are mental health clinics and crisis teams. I'm sure there will be something near enough to you for you to make use of. They can really help you. It may be that you need in-patient treatment but it sounds to me like you really do need to go and speak to a professional as soon as possible. Have you been having suicidal thoughts? If you have, then you must immediately seek help. Trust me, don't just try and muddle through because it'll only end up worse long-term. Good luck. 

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22 minutes ago, SpursRiot2012 said:

If it's really at that point, I would say you need to go - right now - and seek professional help. I don't know where you're based but where I am, for example, there are mental health clinics and crisis teams. I'm sure there will be something near enough to you for you to make use of. They can really help you. It may be that you need in-patient treatment but it sounds to me like you really do need to go and speak to a professional as soon as possible. Have you been having suicidal thoughts? If you have, then you must immediately seek help. Trust me, don't just try and muddle through because it'll only end up worse long-term. Good luck. 

It's a catch 22, the services here are some of the worst in the country for mental health. I would have to go to an A&E to get help. (Doctors advice.) 

On top of that, I have my son to look after. Much to my own foolishness, I can't let him know that I am unwell. I am terrified of being sectioned and any services poking their noses in because he's already been through enough with his mum.

I've lived with suicidal thoughts for a long time now. Additional stress just sends it haywire.

Thank-you for your help, I really appreciate it. 

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Is there nobody (your parents, his mothers parents, siblings, anything) that could look after your son for you while you go and get the help you need? You shouldn't not approach those services out of fear of being sectioned. I can't see that happening. If A&E is the only option, then try and get someone who you trust to watch your son and go and get the help you need. Do it asap, buddy.

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@SpursRiot2012 @Keith Houchen

There's only a couple of people I trust with him (That's on me.) one who's unwell and the other just doesn't need the stress at the moment.

His mother's side are the family won't do anything aside from his aunt but it's out of the area and my son needs normality.

I'm going to tough out tonight, probably have a shout in shower and once he's gone to school in the morning, seek out as much help as possible. 

Thank-you both for your concern and your help. It really does mean a lot.

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One thing I've done in the past is email Samaritans.  You don't get a reply straight away but it helps writing stuff down and they can and do help.  

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If you need someone to chat to you can have a webchat at https://www.thecalmzone.net/ they also have a helpline.

Even if you live in a small area there's plenty of support out there especially online

Edited by ultimo the great

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I was tempted to do myself in just before Christmas. My closest uncle died, his wife/my auntie found out she had stomach cancer (after suffering a stroke from the stress of her husband dying), my Dad went in hospital over Christmas and my brother was awaiting results to see if he had Parkinsons of all things, due to him developing shakes after various operations to his spine over the years. And my ex-girlfriend who I've remained close with had developed breast cancer, which really floored me. I was literally (Redknapp gif) at my lowest point. Since November it's just been one slapping after another. Mourinho's style of football didnt help either! I couldnt sleep, didnt have it in me to do anything socially. Just a mess. Sleeping all day, couldnt get out of bed. As crazy as it sounds I had this choice of either never leaving the house ever again (I genuinely believed that) or chucking myself off the same bridge my mates Mam did. But I rode that out, and as of right now I'm feeling better.

My advice would be, if there is any feelings of suicide, please ride it out. If you have any strength left, you have to realise that you will come out of this. You've got a lot to live for.

Edited by IANdrewDiceClay

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Suicidal thoughts are a bitch, because they make so much sense.

That feeling of hopelessness despair and what the fuck am I doing here? will take the mind and make things seemingly completely justifiable, because 'heck, what am I worth, what have I got to live for, why am I important enough to deserve to carry on. the world wont miss me, and I'm getting nowhere because the tablets aren't helping and my heads still a mess. If I cant function then, what the hell am i supposed to do?'

And so the thought process continues until  a calmness descends and you have reached that decision.

Normally, it's easy for people to go chin up or begin to talk, but not really listen. They will say there are loads of options and there are plenty, however, in this case, seek out some one objective, run those thoughts past you. Is it the drugs dont or arent working? is it that you want help but you dont think anyone can? is it that you feel no one will care if you stay or go and so on?

People will care, they are just absolutely fucking retarded in showing it. Bad communication is a disease that affects everyone, and people will assume loads rather than listen to what's being said.

Your feelings are yours, you can write them down, or  as has been mentioned to Sams ( Jo@samaritans.org) or text them. Or you can try and call ( 116 123, 24/7), even if you basically brain fart and end up talking about your tea tonight its a start. MINDhave a brilliant Tool https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/?ctaId=/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/slices/using-this-tool/ on line and there are places like Mindsmatter and local services and Crisis teams are pretty good but you may have to wait a while for a response.

Just remember one thing, that you do not have to keep everything locked in and tearing you to pieces. Talk ( n which ever way suits you best) and reassess after you have expressed the words.

 

 

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4 hours ago, Rule One said:

If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be long for this world.

I've been on around 4 different SSRI's but none have worked in the long term. Work/most people just don't understand when I explain to them that there's something in my head that just won't go away. It eats away constantly and I don't know how long I can keep my head above water anymore. My nerves are frayed and help is non-existent in these parts. I have nothing left in the tank at the moment. I can't keep toughing it out either.

For those who have or experienced similar situations, how have you managed to get through it?

I fear this the end for me but I'm not going without a fight.

Thank-you for any help.

Been there before myself mate. Even gone a step further and thought my kids and family would be better off without me and planned an overdose. I had a real "sliding doors" type moment that meant I got help and set my life on a better track(won't go into detail as I wouldn't want to bore anyone!). 

As others has said, I can only urge you to keep fighting and going back to the doctors to find a medication that works for you. I think I'm on my third so far and it's the first one to really work for me. Have you been put forward for ant CBT or counselling? I must be honest and say that CBT wasn't for me, but I have been on contact with people that swear by it. 

If you do need a totally unbiased stranger to vent to, bob me over a pm. I write for an online horror magazine and for their "Disability in Horror" month special last year, I penned an article called "A Horror a Day, Keeps the Doctor Away" that goes into depth about my mental illness and physical disabilities and how I used my love of the genre to compliment the meds to combat things(and how my sliding doors moment came about). After that went live, I was contacted by 32 people(so far) that my story resonated with, and I take great pride in being there to support them. So if needs be, let me know and I'll be glad to help!

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The way I see it is I could make myself disappear but my body would never be found and my family would go to their graves not knowing what happened to me. Or I could kill myself in my flat and someone would have to clean the mess; I'd be putting lots of people, not just family, at an inconvenience.

I think of stuff like that at my lowest ebb.

My advice is to sit and write down all the reasons you are grateful to be alive. It doesn't matter how insignificant or stupid they might seem.

Write a diary, or a blog. Don't bottle things up inside.

If you have a child, it's the greatest thing in the World. You've created life. And you are there for him/her every step of their lives.

You mightn't feel good but you can live vicariously through them.

Some children aren't lucky enough to have parents in their lives. At least you are in theirs.

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