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Just now, Ralphy said:

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@RancidPunx

@SlapnutI forget sometimes but last night was my tea, chicken, waffles salad then yoghurt fruit, stupid amounts of biscuits, a protein bar, chocolate bar, a scone and a piece of cake, it happens a lot

I feel as tho I have to earn my food and I eat very quickly

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29 minutes ago, Ralphy said:

@RancidPunx

@SlapnutI forget sometimes but last night was my tea, chicken, waffles salad then yoghurt fruit, stupid amounts of biscuits, a protein bar, chocolate bar, a scone and a piece of cake, it happens a lot

I feel as tho I have to earn my food and I eat very quickly

Although I don't think you eat an incredible amount, (but this is only my opinion) I do think you have an unhealthy relationship with food, and this is something you should bring up with a doctor and speak to them about.

Its psychological, and I know its easier said than done, but it does seem to feature very heavily in your down/manic periods.

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I was okay. I was really doing okay. But the last few weeks I've hardly slept and that's making me panic which makes me not sleep which.. yeah you get it.

I think when I thought Covid was going to be like a .. well, fairly short thing .. I could cope with that. I thought it was manageable. We'll get by. We can do this.

Yet now I see all the fucking numbers going up all over the place it just all feels so overwhelming. A few schools (not our kids but close) getting Covid cases round here etc. It all just feels like the walls are closing in.

I don't deal well with things I can't control.

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17 hours ago, Ralphy said:

Anyone got tips on how not to binge eat?

One of the first things you could do is stop frequenting the food threads on here. It hardly helps your situation.

Edited by Devon Malcolm
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I honestly enjoy looking at the talented people on here and the recipes. I do have therapy booked in, I think it's called ipt. Long waiting list though. 

Edit - pasted from the NHS website 

Interpersonal therapy (IPT)

IPT is a talking treatment that helps people with depression identify and address problems in their relationships with family, partners and friends.

The idea is that poor relationships with people in your life can leave you feeling depressed.

Depression can in turn make your relationships with other people worse.

You may be offered IPT if you have severe depression or depression that hasn't responded to other talking therapies, such as CBT.

IPT is usually offered over 16 to 20 sessions.

Thanks again to all on here, I don't have many people IRL but the help off people on here, and the humour even at my own expense, honestly helps me. 

Edited by Ralphy
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My sleep pattern is absolutely shot. I just dont seem to be able to fall asleep consistently, every 2-3 nights I'll lie there in bed, eyes shut, feeling relaxed, but I just dont fall asleep, then that seems to throw me off for days. Other nights I'll wake up after about 4 hours and that's it, I'm awake. I've tried melatonin, zopiclone, weed, exercise, big wank, but some nights it's almost like my brain's trying to win a bet that I dont know about and sleep just doesnt come. It's been going on for a few months now, every time I think I've broken the cycle I get another completely sleep free night that I seem to have no control over, and the next few days I'm a grumpy zombie that melts down over anything that goes wrong.

It's probably worth pointing out that due to my partners health we've been in super strict lockdown with no transport since March, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered, but this is making it a real challenge.

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1 hour ago, CoreyVandal said:

My sleep pattern is absolutely shot. I just dont seem to be able to fall asleep consistently, every 2-3 nights I'll lie there in bed, eyes shut, feeling relaxed, but I just dont fall asleep, then that seems to throw me off for days. Other nights I'll wake up after about 4 hours and that's it, I'm awake. I've tried melatonin, zopiclone, weed, exercise, big wank, but some nights it's almost like my brain's trying to win a bet that I dont know about and sleep just doesnt come. It's been going on for a few months now, every time I think I've broken the cycle I get another completely sleep free night that I seem to have no control over, and the next few days I'm a grumpy zombie that melts down over anything that goes wrong.

It's probably worth pointing out that due to my partners health we've been in super strict lockdown with no transport since March, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered, but this is making it a real challenge.

I don’t really have any decent advise but I can relate to lack of sleep. My son would sleep for around 3 hours a night. After 4 nights of it I was crying for no reason shaking and feeling like utter shit. I can understand how they use it as a torture technique. I would have happily signed anything to get some sleep.

 

Hope you can get on top of this. 

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3 hours ago, CoreyVandal said:

My sleep pattern is absolutely shot. I just dont seem to be able to fall asleep consistently, every 2-3 nights I'll lie there in bed, eyes shut, feeling relaxed, but I just dont fall asleep, then that seems to throw me off for days. Other nights I'll wake up after about 4 hours and that's it, I'm awake. I've tried melatonin, zopiclone, weed, exercise, big wank, but some nights it's almost like my brain's trying to win a bet that I dont know about and sleep just doesnt come. It's been going on for a few months now, every time I think I've broken the cycle I get another completely sleep free night that I seem to have no control over, and the next few days I'm a grumpy zombie that melts down over anything that goes wrong.

It's probably worth pointing out that due to my partners health we've been in super strict lockdown with no transport since March, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered, but this is making it a real challenge.

Blackout curtains help me somewhat, as does my medication (Amitriptyline). Music can help too sometimes for me, as does reading 

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On 10/21/2020 at 1:55 PM, CoreyVandal said:

My sleep pattern is absolutely shot. I just dont seem to be able to fall asleep consistently, every 2-3 nights I'll lie there in bed, eyes shut, feeling relaxed, but I just dont fall asleep, then that seems to throw me off for days. Other nights I'll wake up after about 4 hours and that's it, I'm awake. I've tried melatonin, zopiclone, weed, exercise, big wank, but some nights it's almost like my brain's trying to win a bet that I dont know about and sleep just doesnt come. It's been going on for a few months now, every time I think I've broken the cycle I get another completely sleep free night that I seem to have no control over, and the next few days I'm a grumpy zombie that melts down over anything that goes wrong.

It's probably worth pointing out that due to my partners health we've been in super strict lockdown with no transport since March, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered, but this is making it a real challenge.

I'm assuming this isn't the case but still worth asking if you are an avid screen user before bed (at least an hour before) as that can really affect people. Have to admit I fall prey to this occasionally where I've been messing about on my phone in bed and then struggle to sleep. It's delayed my sleep a bit but it has affected my wife in a similar way to you which was solved by her getting into more of a routine of reading and using a filter on her phone if she must be on it. 

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Count me in as another with some big sleep issues right now, I get these in waves a few times a year but fuck me is this one feeling tougher than usual. Zopiclone has barely touched it with last night it just adding to my anxiety and got zero sleep at all and I've broken down a bunch these past two days.

I just have this anxious thought that this isn't just a wave and it's going to be the norm. Just spoke to the gp over the phone and they've just given me more zopiclone.. seemed like he wanted me off the line but fuck it, I'm going to just take a 15mg dose and see if that works.

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I find myself waking up at the same time every morning - usually around 5:30am. Just sweating and panicking. It's such a horrible feeling to wake up to. Only really been happening for the past 3/4 weeks I think but I definitely can't get back to sleep after it. I'm hoping it'll pass as sleep is not usually something I struggle with. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I guess this is the best place for this. Just found out my friends dog might have to be put down. He's my friends dog, but I love him like he was mine. It's like he just lives somewhere else. He's been a big help with my mental health over the past year, he genuinely means the world to me. And honestly, this has wrecked me. I can't stop crying. I know people are going through worse things, but I don't know how I'll deal with it if the worst happens. I can already feel my anxiety getting worse. I haven't had a drink or anything else in years. I've had problems with drugs and alcohol in he past. But all I want to do is get fucked up and block this out. I don't know, I think I just need to vent on here.

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3 hours ago, lars85 said:

I know people are going through worse things, but I don't know how I'll deal with it if the worst happens.

Everyone's experiences are relative to them and their situation though. Yes, there are people going through worse things and the world is (generally) a horror show, but the dog is relevant to you and your life, so you have every right to feel whatever level of sadness or grief that you have.

I absolutely know you're not doing this, but it annoys me when people treat grief/sadness as some sort of competition. People are allowed to grieve over whatever they feel like in any way they want and not have to feel guilty about it. Someone I know lost a dog recently and someone on the football group chat was an absolute cunt about it, saying it was only a pet, and he quickly got put in his place.

I can 100% say with certainty that I would be sadder over the loss of my cat than half the members of my family. Pets are a huge part of peoples lives, and it's only natural you would feel devastated if the worst happens.

I hope the good boy makes a full recovery.

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Yep I've cried over cats but not over actual humans. I know some people don't get the pet thing but when you spend so much time with them they do become like family etc.

And certainly on the point of there always being someone else worse off than you are - of course there is, but does that mean you should just ignore whatever you're going through personally? Hell no. You've got to deal with your own shit in the context of your own life. Comparing is all well and good but it doesn't mean whatever you're feeling isn't valid. Perspective can help sometimes but it'll never just make you switch off your own emotions.

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