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Ralphy

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dont have the ££ for a mortgage deposit and would rather not rent 

Edited by Ralphy

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1 minute ago, Ralphy said:

dont have the ££ for a mortgage deposit and would rather not rent 

Most people don't. But I really think for your sake renting a flat or maybe even a house share would probably do you the world of good. Be realistic, how many years would it take for you, current wages, to save a 25% deposit? Then decide if you can carry on living at home to do so.

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4 minutes ago, Ralphy said:

dont have the ££ for a mortgage deposit and would rather not rent 

Noone rents because they have a burning desire to line the pockets of landlords, people move out to gain independence and for the majority of people that’s normally in rented accommodation before they are able to buy themselves. If you’re paying a considerable amount on board then I’d guess you could get a similar deal in a houseshare, it may go somewhat to improving your social life too. 
 

I don’t mean to sound harsh but if you’re trying the same things over and over and nothing is improving them maybe you need to start thinking outside of your comfort zone. Total conjecture here, but do you think your reluctance to move out of your parents’ might be putting added strain on your relationship?

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Yeah Ralphy, don’t start rationing your meds because of the cost of a prescription. It’s not a good idea, mate. 

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To reiterate Keith, and speaking from personal experience, I'd strongly advise against messing about with doseage.

Only speaking personally but it made side effects worse and simultaneously hampered effectiveness. 

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Your more or less renting from your parents. Which seems to be one of the main reasons for your unhappiness. 
 

Playing with doses on your meds while your in a dark place is not a good plan 

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Just texted a mate who I play cricket with who hasn't seemed himself recently and he replied saying that he was struggling at the minute and that be was on anti depressants - and that they're making him feel shite.

I've never come across any of my close friends who have struggled with mental health, does anyone have any advice? Do I keep messaging him? Just drop him the odd text? I asked if he fancied watching the horse racing today but he wasn't bothered so he's stayed at home (He's a teacher).

Any tips?

Cheers.

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I would imagine that since he is a teacher he hasnt been at work much for obvious reasons, so that may be a little piece of why he feels like he does, in which case i hope that the September term can begin and he can in turn begin to feel better. 

The meds generally produce side effects for around 2 - 3 weeks until you don't notice them as much,.but they wont ever go fully away. commonly the side effects are appetite increase or loss, tiredness, weight gain/loss, insomnia and a general feeling of that you cba to do anything, thats in my experience with many over the years 

The meds will begin to work for purpose generally after around 4 - 6 weeks

Messaging people who are down is a good thing, so please keep doing it, shows you care 

Edited by Ralphy

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I'd say just continue to treat him as you normally would. Don't suddenly start treating him differently because of it. 

Just let him know that you're there for him if he needs anything or needs a chat etc. 

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Bit of a tough few days for me and thought I would just mention it here really. Be good if anyone has any thoughts

I have a highly suicidal friend. He technically died a year ago and was resuscitated. He went to A&E a few days ago as he was feeling a big risk to himself, having taken a fair amount of drugs. Its frustrating as he was anti drugs until a year or so ago and since its gone downhill. Anyway they discharged him from A&E with no follow-up, saying its a behaviour that they can't deal with until his drug use has stopped. He is furious and whilst I get the A&E team's position he doesn't see it from their perspective at all. He is reluctant to engage with drug services because he believes its not the drugs that are the issue. 

Has anyone had any experiences like this? Or been supportive to someone who has felt let down by services and may increase the behaviour to get the desired need met? Its a tough one all round. 

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3 hours ago, Michael_3165 said:

Bit of a tough few days for me and thought I would just mention it here really. Be good if anyone has any thoughts

I have a highly suicidal friend. He technically died a year ago and was resuscitated. He went to A&E a few days ago as he was feeling a big risk to himself, having taken a fair amount of drugs. Its frustrating as he was anti drugs until a year or so ago and since its gone downhill. Anyway they discharged him from A&E with no follow-up, saying its a behaviour that they can't deal with until his drug use has stopped. He is furious and whilst I get the A&E team's position he doesn't see it from their perspective at all. He is reluctant to engage with drug services because he believes its not the drugs that are the issue. 

Has anyone had any experiences like this? Or been supportive to someone who has felt let down by services and may increase the behaviour to get the desired need met? Its a tough one all round. 

Anything on Survivor's guilt is a must. Seems like your friend maybe exhibiting classic symptoms there of. Risky behaviours, active suicidal ideation etc etc  There's some breakdown here https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325578  It's C-ptsd and all kinds of other stuff rolled in to one, and A&E are in no position to help with that nor is any on call psyche. 

Basically keep him talking and listen do your normal friendship things (as in not toxic) gently remind him of things/ service that are available and see what Multiple complex help and crisis help are available in your area. You can welfare check using 101 and you must, repeat must make sure that you take space for yourself  in all this as well.

Many people do not trust things when they are literally out of their mind as they are not thinking rationally give him the options and build a base of strengths that he can build from, these maybe shuffles rather than steps but it's about reestablishing some thing that is established when he has not had established.  This can be as little as getting up, doing chorse, washing teeth etc. The brain needs to relearn and have confidence in doing the very basics of life as everything else may appear completely alien right now. 

 

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5 hours ago, Max Power said:

Just texted a mate who I play cricket with who hasn't seemed himself recently and he replied saying that he was struggling at the minute and that be was on anti depressants - and that they're making him feel shite.

I've never come across any of my close friends who have struggled with mental health, does anyone have any advice? Do I keep messaging him? Just drop him the odd text? I asked if he fancied watching the horse racing today but he wasn't bothered so he's stayed at home (He's a teacher).

Any tips?

Cheers.

Just be you, include him . Normality is a massive help. Anti d's will kick in eventually and can always talk around plans or goals and starting out to do things as normal

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1 hour ago, patiirc said:

Anything on Survivor's guilt is a must. Seems like your friend maybe exhibiting classic symptoms there of. Risky behaviours, active suicidal ideation etc etc  There's some breakdown here https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325578  It's C-ptsd and all kinds of other stuff rolled in to one, and A&E are in no position to help with that nor is any on call psyche. 

Basically keep him talking and listen do your normal friendship things (as in not toxic) gently remind him of things/ service that are available and see what Multiple complex help and crisis help are available in your area. You can welfare check using 101 and you must, repeat must make sure that you take space for yourself  in all this as well.

Many people do not trust things when they are literally out of their mind as they are not thinking rationally give him the options and build a base of strengths that he can build from, these maybe shuffles rather than steps but it's about reestablishing some thing that is established when he has not had established.  This can be as little as getting up, doing chorse, washing teeth etc. The brain needs to relearn and have confidence in doing the very basics of life as everything else may appear completely alien right now. 

 

 

Thanks :)

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Hey friends. Some of you know I’ve struggled with my mental health since childhood, battling it and coping with it isn’t anything new to me. But right now I’m really struggling.

A year ago in a few days time I managed to get out of yet another one of my terrible relationships, he was narcissist and at some points I was so low I was suicidal. Dyllan is the only reason I didn’t act on these thoughts. I’ve spent a year single now giving myself time to heal and learn to love myself, I was doing really well (special mention goes to Frankie for being there for me as always). Then I lost my best friend. Everything then seemed to spiral. I have a lot of stress in my life with my illness, financial difficulties, high functioning autistic son etc etc but I had a good grip on it all. I just lost all ability to cope. I’ve lost the person I would message about anything and everything, good and bad. I’m crippled with guilt that I couldn’t afford to travel to see him one last time before he died so I could say goodbye. There are days I can’t stop crying because I miss him so much. I’m getting there, I think, but god is it hard.

I’ve just finished what feels like my millionth round of therapy. I want to look at private therapy now but who on earth has that kind of money? I could make a donation goal on my Twitch channel, but that pot would run out very quickly. 

I feel very alone even though I know I have a few friends, although far away. Thank goodness I have Dyllan and my dog. I don’t know if anyone has any wise words but I just needed to get it off my chest to people that knew Chris too.

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