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Ralphy

The Mental Health thread

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This is a bit of a personal post, and I’m not sure how exactly to say this, but I’ll give it a good old try.

I’ve dealt with depression on and off for the past decade. I’ve kept it to myself, initially because I felt that people around me didn’t understand it. Heck, I don’t think the world in general did including me, I certainly didn’t know it was as widespread an issue as it actually is.

I’d been doing quite well up until this month. Recent events have kind of flicked a switch in my head and I feel like I’ve taken a few steps back.

I find the idea of telling friends about this too daunting at this stage, but I do want to speak to my GP about it. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’m daunted by that too. Do they delve into why you might be feeling that way immediately? Do they prescribe you with something right away, or are you more likely to be directed towards talk therapy of some kind?

I’m sorry to ask something that I’m well aware is basic, but what happens the first time you tell a doctor about this?

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18 minutes ago, RedRooster said:

This is a bit of a personal post, and I’m not sure how exactly to say this, but I’ll give it a good old try.

I’ve dealt with depression on and off for the past decade. I’ve kept it to myself, initially because I felt that people around me didn’t understand it. Heck, I don’t think the world in general did including me, I certainly didn’t know it was as widespread an issue as it actually is.

I’d been doing quite well up until this month. Recent events have kind of flicked a switch in my head and I feel like I’ve taken a few steps back.

I find the idea of telling friends about this too daunting at this stage, but I do want to speak to my GP about it. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’m daunted by that too. Do they delve into why you might be feeling that way immediately? Do they prescribe you with something right away, or are you more likely to be directed towards talk therapy of some kind?

I’m sorry to ask something that I’m well aware is basic, but what happens the first time you tell a doctor about this?

Don't be sorry for asking 

It's an amazing thing to recognise you are not yourself and may require help. 

Takes real strength to do that. 

GPs are usually pretty good about stuff like that. However Samaritans or Mind type help lines may help allay fears about Dr's

Also practicing what you want to say can help. Take in notes if you want too too. 

It's not confessional and it's an issue that's clearly important to you. 

Be as honest as you want and take the time and space you need. 

It's not always about dispensing pills either and will very much depend on however you want to be and whatever you feel comfy in saying. 

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12 minutes ago, RedRooster said:

I find the idea of telling friends about this too daunting at this stage, but I do want to speak to my GP about it. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’m daunted by that too

That's not ridiculous at all, I was exactly the same. 

I can only comment for me but I had someone there with me from work who I had been able to talk to, which was a big help. 

Again I can only speak for my experience but there wasn't any delving too deep from the GP, especially when it was clear I was uncomfortable, as he wasn't out to understand the root issue, just to know where best to refer me.

I was prescribed something straight away but you can discuss it and don't be afraid to ask what options are available for therapy if they don't put it forward. Just be aware there may be a wait and its worth keeping a good dialogue open with GP and/or a safe contact in the interim. 

When ever I went through CBT courses most of the people I met were subtle and respectful, although they will obviously need to dig a little it wasn't uncomfortable. It was only really when I was in a more secure environment and assessed it was more direct and clinical.

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Another thing that worries me is with COVID I’ll actually have to speak to a receptionist first to tell them what’s going on with me, before I even get the chance to talk to a doctor.

I’d never really considered something like Mind @patiirc, but I’ll look into that. I’d might be helpful to discuss that initial step over the phone.

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14 minutes ago, RedRooster said:

Another thing that worries me is with COVID I’ll actually have to speak to a receptionist first to tell them what’s going on with me, before I even get the chance to talk to a doctor.

I’d never really considered something like Mind @patiirc, but I’ll look into that. I’d might be helpful to discuss that initial step over the phone.

Just say that you've rather discuss the issue with the doctor if that makes you more comfortable.

Don't feel silly at all for asking questions that you feel are basic. It took me a long time to admit I suffered from depression, and even now, some people fairly close to me don't know and I don't like talking about it with them.

The doctor will most likely ask you what's going on, how you feel, ask you to carry out a very basic "on a scale of 1 to 10" questionnaire type thing and go from there.

Might be tough at the moment but try and get a double appointment if you can.

All the best, and feel free to PM any questions you may have.

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Most days I think I'm okay. Then occasionally I sit back and wonder if I'm really okay, or if I've just done a really fucking good job of convincing myself that I am.

I've always been someone who just buries shit away. I do worry that one day all of this stuff is just going to burst out and overwhelm me.

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Thanks for the kind words and support, I really appreciate it. I know we all say it, but I think I’m done with wrestling for the foreseeable future. It was a form of escapism, but it’s contributing to how I feel now and that’s not a good thing.

I’ve requested that my account be deleted and to be honest, it’s more a symbolic thing for me. I think it’ll feel good to purge my life of a form of entertainment that has lost its fun factor for me.

Whether the mods do that or not I’ll be taking time off from here. @patiirc, @SuperBacon and @Tommy!, a genuine thank you from me.

I called me GP on the back of your supportive words and I’m waiting for a call back. But for the first time in days I’m feeling pretty good. You’re brilliant people.

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28 minutes ago, DavidB6937 said:

Most days I think I'm okay. Then occasionally I sit back and wonder if I'm really okay, or if I've just done a really fucking good job of convincing myself that I am.

I've always been someone who just buries shit away. I do worry that one day all of this stuff is just going to burst out and overwhelm me.

That's not very healthy though. Is there someone you can talk to about the way that you feel?

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13 minutes ago, RedRooster said:

I’ve requested that my account be deleted and to be honest, it’s more a symbolic thing for me. I think it’ll feel good to purge my life of a form of entertainment that has lost its fun factor for me.

These things can be very cathartic to do and I hope that it helps. I also hope that you do feel like returning at some point, you’re a member of our little community and will be missed. Good luck. 

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6 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

These things can be very cathartic to do and I hope that it helps. I also hope that you do feel like returning at some point, you’re a member of our little community and will be missed. Good luck. 

Wanted to reply to this before I go. Keith, you’re one of the most genuine, empathetic and considerate people on here. Thank you so much. It really does mean a lot. 

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Hopefully you’ll see this before you leave the forum, @RedRooster, but I’d recommend downloading the Hub of Hope app. It gives you links to all local mental health and well-being services, you can find other support networks through it and they have a 24-hour live chat (an actual person, not a bot) which can be a godsend if you’re having a bad time but aren’t in the frame of mind to speak to someone in person or it’s the late/early hours when the other services are limited. 

Best of luck - even if your account is deleted and you don’t sign back up, I’m sure those of us who’ve got our social media accounts logged in that thread won’t mind you dropping us a line if you need to chat/unload. 

Take care.

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56 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

That's not very healthy though. Is there someone you can talk to about the way that you feel?

I find it difficult to find the time you know? Especially in recent months. Been the busiest time of year for work, plus having to look after the kids at home etc.

It's really only now that they're both back (part time), and my work has slowed down a little, that I've really allowed myself a little time to reflect over all this batshit crazy stuff going on in the world.

I'm very bad at prioritising my own shit over anyone elses. I usually worry way more about how everyone else is.

Edited by DavidB6937

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Just now, DavidB6937 said:

I find it difficult to find the time you know? Especially in recent months. Been the busiest time of year for work, plus having to look after the kids at home etc.

It's really only now that they're both back (part time), and my work has slowed down a little, that I've really allowed myself a little time to reflect over all this batshit crazy stuff going on in the world.

I'm very bad at prioritising my own shit over anyone elses. I usually worry way more about how everyone else is.

That's understandable, but letting things bubble up until they burst out can be damaging. Used to happen all the time to me before I found ways to control it.

The best one for me in the early days was at the end of the day writing down my thoughts, and leaving it all on the page. Just seeing it there in written form was a small weight off my shoulders and sort of represented it as being out of my head and somewhere else, if that makes sense?

The other thing I used to do, was once a week going for a massive walk. I'm not talking Ralphy lengths, but a good hour/hour and a half out of the house where I was alone and with space. Made such a massive difference to us all.

Just what worked for me though, I hope you can find something that helps for you, but please try not to keep it bottled in.

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I've struggled pretty bad the last few weeks with low hours of sleep and anxiety and stressing about everything in the world. Its an incredibly fearful time to be in when you already don't understand or deal with change and disruption well. I'm battling a lot of issues with just how disjointed the end of my PGCE became because of everything and at times I've punished myself for not being able to adapt better,

I've had some upside though, while its not a full teaching role I've been offered an interview to high level TA at my old school so I can stay in education as I've had absolutely no luck with jobs. I've been very blessed in finding online quizzes too, I usually do them by myself or in a friends garden socially distancing, but tonight I managed to win one as just me against 40 odd other teams and the confidence boost that's given me has driven me on to plan to do some work tomorrow. I don't know how post covid me will cope at all, but I'm just glad I'm grabbing some better moments right now.

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2 minutes ago, Shy Dad said:

I've struggled pretty bad the last few weeks with low hours of sleep and anxiety and stressing about everything in the world. Its an incredibly fearful time to be in when you already don't understand or deal with change and disruption well. I'm battling a lot of issues with just how disjointed the end of my PGCE became because of everything and at times I've punished myself for not being able to adapt better,

I've had some upside though, while its not a full teaching role I've been offered an interview to high level TA at my old school so I can stay in education as I've had absolutely no luck with jobs. I've been very blessed in finding online quizzes too, I usually do them by myself or in a friends garden socially distancing, but tonight I managed to win one as just me against 40 odd other teams and the confidence boost that's given me has driven me on to plan to do some work tomorrow. I don't know how post covid me will cope at all, but I'm just glad I'm grabbing some better moments right now.

I've been in exactly the same position as you with teaching jobs before. When I first finished my post-grad I applied for loads of jobs and failed at the interview stage 15+ times before eventually getting a job. You definitely will find something so just keep looking and try to keep your head up. I know how disheartening and awful it can feel at the time but you will get something. 

On a side note I think the system up here in Scotland for first time teaching jobs is much better. While still at Uni you pick 5 Council areas you'd like to work in and you get placed in one of them and have a guaranteed job for your NQT year without needing to interview. 

If you ever need any help or advice with interviews or anything teaching related just give me a shout buddy. 

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