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Ralphy

The Mental Health thread

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5 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Grief is a very personal thing.  There is no right way or wrong way to deal with it.  It sounds like you were being strong (for want of a better word) for your cousin and your friend. Now you're able to process it for yourself on your own, it's come to the forefront.  It was bottled up and now you've let some out of the bottle.

That's exactly right. At the weekend whilst the family were in tears I was almost emotionless. Now it's all coming out.

Thank you.

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Sorry to hear you're going through all of this MP. That sounds awful, and must have come as a terrible shock. Keith is absolutely right, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It really is just a process that every single person deals with differently.

It does get easier with time, but don't beat yourself up for feeling or not feeling. It's about processing and getting your head around what has happened. 

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It took me about 10 years before I had a proper cry over my Granddad dying. I was the one who had to tell my Brother so I never got the chance to immediately react.

It effected my mental health incredibly badly but I never properly grieved for years.

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You're in shock, mate.  It's numbing.  It can take a long time to come out of that state but don't try and rush through grief, let it come at its own pace - and don't be afraid to let it out when it DOES come.

I don't have kids, but I have two cats who are my surrogate children - or were, as one was hit by a car right in front of me about a week before Christmas and died in surgery 36 hours later.  I'm absolutely devastated - by the horror of that night but also by the loss.  I'm still not ok with it and I don't know when I will be honestly.  I was working all that week and I don't remember a thing about it due to the shock.  I don't think I really came out of that bit until after the New Year really.

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Just started on mirtazapine this week. How common is weight gain when using it? I've always been a skinny guy with a high metabolism, and I never seem to put on weight no matter how much I eat. Is it possible for them to change this? 

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Don’t know about that particular drug  but similarly I’m quite slim, and I gained weight when I started Citalopram, and know a lot of others have too.

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Feeling rubbish since last September after relationship/engagement went to shite. Been a massive struggle to drag my arse out of bed every morning for work and to stay out of it when I get home lately, so went to gp today who gave me a 3 month script for venlafaxine, 75mg this week up to 150mg the week after. Anyone any experience with this medication?

I was on citalopram for a while in my early 20's when I was unemployed and it didn't do much for me besides making having a wank a numb, pleasureless endeavour, so am skeptical of the whole antidepressant thing in general really.

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I didn’t get much from citalopram other than that either. I ran out two or three weeks ago and the surgery wouldn’t re-up me over the phone, so I’m not on anything at the moment. Last time I was there, the doctor mentioned I could switch to fluoxetine so I might do that when I’m back in the UK.

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Fluoxetine is shit as well. It's Prozac over in the US. Citalopram is miles better, but both equally shite.

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Heads fucked, lost my job last week due to it, cant stop binge eating to the point of almost being sick, dont want to sleep much, i am abusing myself through exercise, taking too many supplements and 5htp pills and things of that nature and cant stop ripping myself to shreds by picking my skin, i keep spending money on random shit and can go from extreme highs and lows in minutes, from being mega angry and head butting the bus stop to being very happy and jumping round for joy, argh, then i may have a few hours of normality and then revert back to type

seem to be craving sugar, caffeine and carbs, none of which i used to eat vast amounts of 

i will wake up and do random walks of 10miles most days, at around 3.30 - 4am, come home, and gorge myself silly, rinse and repeat

 

i am eating thousands upon thousands of calories a day and im not even enjoying it, but it does make me feel better for a short while

will elaborate further when i can, if i can 

Edited by Ralphy

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What Super Bacon said. I have never been that bad. I have had bouts of anxiety and depression, but not gone through what you are doing to yourself. The waiting lists, especially where I am, to see a specialist are long, but even if that is the case, going to speak to a doctor will help.

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Echo the above replies, Ralphy. Get yourself booked in to the doctors as soon as you can.

But this app may help; the Hub of Hope. Gives you info on local support based on a postcode or your current location; if you’re doing long walks that take you away from your home and you suddenly need support it may be handy. It also has a 24-hour text service. From what you’ve described with your erratic sleep pattern/early morning walks, it may be of use when you’re in need of some contact when everyone you know is in bed. Mental health issues can feel like they’re excruciatingly worse when you’re facing them in the darkened hours. I’ve used the text service a few times and it’s not a bot or automated reply, it’s an actual person on the other end. Just getting a few back-and-forths going can help, even as a distraction.

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But again, please get yourself to the doctor if you already haven’t arranged an appointment.

 

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Ralphy, be proud of yourself for seeing that you need some support and asked for it.  The first step has been taken, now go to the doctors for the next steps.  The app Frankie suggested looks great, if like me talking isn't for you then the Samaritans can be emailed and will try and get back to you within 12 hours.  When I was in a bad place and on my own, that's what I did and it was (literally) a life saver.

Good luck, mate, you have friends here.

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Thanks peeps, i cant really explain whats going on in my head, both in typed form and in real life, argh, my personality has totally changed. I have gone from staying in bed and sleeping normally, ish, to waking at 2am - 3am. I have gone from being sensible with what i eat (i have intolerances and allergies) and with portion sizes to frankly, gorging myself into oblivion. I was motivated and hard working, now im lazy and uninterested in pretty much everything and my spending has gone from being a tightarse to not caring I feel very reckless and its a good job i have my mum otherwise i fear id go totally tits up. 

The mood swings are terrible, right now i am feeling OK, however i feel guilty cos i know it wont last, same thing goes for after my eating binges, i feel happy as larry for a short time, then guilty as f00k

An example of yesterdays excess was for dinner, i had chicken, veg, noodles, 3 flapjacks, a packet of oatcakes and an entire bag of tortilla chips. the 3 flapjacks alone are 1200 calories, 

the cravings for carbs are killing me too, i desperately wantto consume an entire box of cornflakes in one go, but im just about holding on to resist doing so

todays binge breakfast was 100g of oats with a choclate bar block melted into it, 2 protein shakes, a bowl of fruit and a bowl of cornflakes with nuts and 2 cups of coffee, yet i crave more, especially sugar right now

I plan to have 6 eggs and 4 pieces of toast for dinner and i will probably not stop there, its so frustrating 

i dont know if i wantto live, die, or anything really, my heads all over the place 

I walked 10 miles this morning and did weight training, yesterday i did 13.5 miles walking too, im in a shitload of pain with my legs and hips yet i just dont care, its strange, its like i enjoy abusing myself, its strange 

I am off to the doctors (again) friday to see a cpn or something like that 

if anyone local to halesowen on here wants to go out asap, let me know, i need it 

 

Edited by Ralphy

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