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Ralphy

The Mental Health thread

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Decided to start a thread on all things to do with mental health, in a hope that fellow sufferers, or people who have suffered in the past, can share any tips, tricks and general advice on ways to feel/get better and their coping methods

I wont elaborate on my own circumstances much, but i am very much in need of help right now, thats for sure

So please people, post your advice and hopefully we can all contribute to any fellow ukff members in feeling better, you never know what may click with somone

i did have a search for a similar thread, and couldn't find one 

I will start, i find that long walks while listening to my music helps me to feel a bit better, especially in the countryside, but anywhere really

Edited by Ralphy

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Just a note that people shouldn't post things that they wouldn't be comfortable with people IRL finding out, especially if your forum identity can be linked to your IRL identity. We had some problems with that in the past, as I recall. 

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Yeah, some cunt used info in the last thread against someone they didn't like, got them fired from their job, so do be careful.

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oh, well i didnt know that, or really gave much thought to the IRL thing. Can we just keep it about advice and help? not looking for peoples storys etc, if its an issue though, please remove/delete this topic/thread :) 

Edited by Ralphy

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Since being declared unfit for work, countryside walks and photography help loads.  Staying sober is a huge help too.

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As @Ralphy said, long walks and listening to music on my headphones helps my moods. Nothing worse than being cooked up inside. You feel like a prisoner.

It's easier if you have a car, too, because then you can vary up your walks, rather than using the same two routes all the time like I have to do.

Edit: 5 seconds. New record!

Edited by NoUseforaUsername

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54 minutes ago, NoUseforaUsername said:

Edit: 5 seconds. New record!

Eh?

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I guess this fits here

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-42745616

 

Basically, the gov have decided not to appeal the ruling that those suffering from severe mental health can now be eligible for the enhanced rate of PIP. Previously, on the assessment for PIP, those who could not travel independently for anxiety/agoraphobia/social fear etc., could only score a max of 10 points. To qualify for enhanced rate, you needed 12. The court ruling stated that this policy was "blatantly discriminatory", and as such, the rules have now been changed (and made retroactive to the date of claim) so that 12 points are now possible.

 

It took the judiciary to force it, but it's good to see that mental health is being treated equally to physical disability in that regard.

 

Little backstory, I'll try to be brief.I've been clinically depressed for many years with social anxiety, and after losing mum and dad in the space of 3 years, mum just before Xmas,left me with severe social anxiety etc, to the point that I've only left the flat for appointments and funerals. Coming out of the other side very slowly, but having to go food shopping in public today (no funds in the account, but had ready cash) has left me wrecked. I can only imagine how it must be for those who suffer more severely to the point of it being paralysing.

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It'd genuinely be so good if this thread gets back to where it left off, prior to some shithouse dismantling it, as the previous incarnation was one of the best things that's ever come out of this forum. I've struggled for a couple of decades and even though the support of the NHS has been incredible during that time, this forum has honestly been the go-to place for support, unloading, and understanding. There are some incredible people on here who've given me support over the years and hopefully, this can get back on track and do the same for others. 

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I've been quite open about my struggles here the last year or so in particular ad things got worse but I do have one hint and tip for helping get a clearer mind 

Colouring books. I realise that not everyone likes being cooped up all day and I guess you could alieviate that by taking them with you on walks, but when I've had days of just not being able to focus, just sitting down and colouring has managed to relax me enough to function a little bit. I guess it's routine and sticking to rules or something but it equally works for me as well as a lot of other stuff people recommend. 

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Even little stuff like crossword puzzles and word search puzzles can help. And it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of staring at a laptop screen for hours on end eating copious amounts of junk food and microwaveable dinners, but it's much more rewarding to even sit in a Costa for an hour or two having a couple of cappuccinos and watching the world go by, or forcing yourself to go into shops and interact with people. As I said, I find walking several hours a day helps for me as does cutting out junk food and staying offline as much as possible.

I honestly think the ubiquity of the internet, particularly since social media became a big thing 12 or 13 years ago, has made things harder for certain people. The world's become a very impersonal place, where a lot of emphasis is placed on appearances etc.

It can be a downer looking at a Facebook timeline and perceiving that everyone's life is better than yours, but appearances can be deceiving.

You never know what happens behind closed doors, you never know what's going on inside someone's head.

I had an acquaintance in college, good looking lad with a good looking girlfriend, popular, seemed to have it all, come up to me in a nightclub drunkenly confiding in me that he was depressed and apologizing for his lack of effort in our group projects.

Now it could've been drunk talk, but I did listen to him and I did advise him, because he's a bit younger than me and I suspect that he can't talk about stuff of this magnitude to his friends.

The double-edged sword of the Snapchat generation that constantly have to one-up themselves on social media 24/7.

Edited by NoUseforaUsername

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My heart is with anyone going through some kind of mental health issue. I know how bad it can be from my own experiences. I also know many people who’ve dealt with far worse than I, which can make me feel guilty about discussing my own issues which can seem minimal in comparison.I’m not going to get as deep as I could do in what i’m about to write, but if anyone ever uses my information or the information shared by anyone else going through an issue in attempts to cause trouble. That says far more negative about the type of character you are than it does about anyone posting on this forum. 

 

Actually, If one good thing has come out of celebrity culture in recent years, I’d say that it’s made it much less of a social taboo to discuss having issues with mental health. Hopefully a 15/16 year old who’s having issues today can find it much easier to talk about these issues and get real help. 

 

I was around 16 when I first got some professional help for my issues. I’d say it came a few years too late. Nobody is to blame but myself, I was having issues as early as 12/13 but I put on a brave face in front of my parents/teachers/friends and bottled things up for as many years as I could.  Through what I’d consider misdiagnosed social anxiety, I was definitely in deep depression from my late teens and into my early 20s. I got out of that dark state of mind, I promised myself I’d never allow myself to feel like that again. I consider 2006 to be the worst year of my life, it’s when all of the issues I’d been fighting and/or avoiding for many years escalated. I knew that after a certain turning point I had 2 choices, 1) Better my situation or 2) Hit a low there was no coming back from. 

 

I’m happy to say that I’ve never had a year as bad as 2006. I’d also say that i’m no longer depressed. I always feel like my feet are on a tightrope with it though. I’ve just done a good job of learning how to keep my balance. 

 

To anyone who is in the darkest of places right now, who’s currently experiencing there own 2006. Don’t throw in the towel, keeping taking the punches and continue fighting until you land that knock out blow on your problems…because 2007 was a turnaround year for me and 2008/2009 were some of the happiest years of my life. The 2006 Mattyc would never have been able to picture himself in the scenarios those years presented. 

 

Depression isn’t knocking me off the tightrope but things aren’t all rosy for me in 2018, due to the thing that’s truthfully been my biggest enemy all along. My biggest issue these days is social anxiety, it has become crippling at times. Wrestling has always been my happy zone. I’ve always felt comfortable surrounding myself in all things Wrestling. A few years ago, I had a panic attack before attending a show. There was no reason for this whatsoever. I had nothing to be worried about….but it still happened. 

 

I’ve had my “achievements”, I’ve done things in my life where I probably would’ve been justified to be nervous or panicked. At times my displays of confidence have impressed people I’d consider to be far more outgoing than myself. Yet here I was, in a situation where I should’ve been 100% happy and at comfort…feeling so terrible.

 

How could I ever expect other people to understand this behaviour when I cannot understand it myself?

 

I’ve always been on the reclusive side. This has hurt friendships, diminished the prospect of new ones forming. I feel it has also hurt my relationship with certain family members, who may not understand the true reasoning for my avoidance of interaction with them. People may feel that I don’t like them very much. It’s often the opposite…I avoid you because I like you and I don’t want to drag you down with my issues.  I’ve come to accept that reclusiveness is my nature, it will always be my nature and if managed it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In recent years it has turned up to an uncomfortable notch however. I need to turn it back down.   

 

I’ve become a master at keeping myself in a happy zone. I know the situations to avoid. One day i’m going to be forced into situations I cannot avoid. I’ll have to face up to this issue I have with social anxiety and fight it head on. That day will come and I know that day will be my true test. Can I overcome social anxiety without becoming depressed again?  As the years go on, I fear less and less….but one of my handful of fears is feeling as shit as I felt in 2006 once again.

 

I hope this post hasn’t come across too negative sounding. It’s been somewhat therapeutic to write it and read it back. Despite my issues I can honestly say that i’m a much happier person at 32 than I was at 22. I know I have a fight ahead of me with social anxiety, the important thing is I WANT to fight and overcome it. This wasn’t always the case. I may dislike aspects of my situation but I don’t hate myself! I’d take this state of mind over the self loathing and depression I once used to feel every time! 

 

Keep Fighting! 

 

 

 

Edited by Mattyc

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I won’t go into to much detail. I took a lot on about 9 years back shortly after my son was diagnosed as serverly disabled. The end result was I ended up in a crappy way. I think the main thing I can offer is it’s ok to feel shit. I tried for ages to tough it out be a man carry on. It didn’t work at all 

It does get better as low as it seems sometimes. Do the simple things you enjoy no matter how stupid they seem to others. 

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