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Ya mam smells like a Jack Russell


Kaz Hayashi
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... is one of the ways I was insulted as a youngster by Daryl Cowen. Even at the time I didn’t know how to respond.

When I was a teen I had long hair, in a town that it was deemed as completely freakish. I used to get a lot of “cut y’hair... ‘ippy” and One sticks out in mind. A group of nob heads from school spotted me over the road and  the mouthpiece shouted... “ere, giz 50 pence, a tab and a gan on your skateboard.. fookin ippy”. 

Can you remember hearing or have  you been on the receiving end of any really obscure insults?

Edited by Kaz Hayashi
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A kid once decided to taunt me for ginger hair, but wanted to come up with something new and original. Best he could come up with was 'baked bean head'. It was one of those rare occasions when the kid delivering the insult actually got more abuse from everyone else than me receiving it.

Edited by Grecian
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Sadly on occasion I'm liked to James Cordon and not recent, Hollywood Corden but Gavin and Stacey Cordon. Once this guy kept following me round the pub going on about it being an irritating bellend. He begged me to go outside and speak to these wretched girls sat in tracksuits on a pub bench. They proceeded to disagree on the grounds James Cordon's fat and ugly but I'm just ugly. Being a hefty guy I wasn't sure to take the compliment or the insult to heart. 

Edited by simonworden
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"Good at maths" was a particularly bizarre one.

It was the inconsistency that grated for me. First year was "you are posh" because I had a suede pencil case. After that it was "you're a gyppo" because I was spotted buying a computer game in Oxfam.

Oh, and my explanation that my dad worked on quality control procedures for a company making digital thermometers and other sensors somehow got turned into the insult "your dad's a clockmaker."

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