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The Kurt Angle Match Marathon


HarmonicGenerator

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Any excuse to post "the Mania that never was" due to injuries, tragedy and plans changing ;

 

John Cena VS Triple H

The Undertaker VS Kurt Angle

Batista VS Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels VS Eddy Guerrero

 

CHRIST.

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"You Suck" is still chanted, but Cole tries to claim they're directed at Mark Henry. They're obviously not, but they are chanted with endearment now.

 

 

 

I was thinking about this the other day that even super babyface Angle got the YOU SUCK treatment and how it was a precursor to what Cena gets now with the JOHN CENA SUCKS to the tune of his music and how everybody will sing it but nobody in their heart means it and it's part of the shtick now. I fully expect a chorus of YOU SUCK chants when he comes out to wave at Mania, and so they should.

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Any excuse to post "the Mania that never was" due to injuries, tragedy and plans changing ;

 

John Cena VS Triple H

The Undertaker VS Kurt Angle

Batista VS Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels VS Eddy Guerrero

 

CHRIST.

I went to Mania 22 and had a great time obviously, but man, it could've been one of the best ever.

 

I don't post a lot anymore but I'm really enjoying this thread HG, great work.

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The penultimate match! We head over to the Hammerstein Ballroom for ECW One Night Stand and Angle vs. Randy Orton! ECDUB, ECDUB.

 

The match:

Randy Orton plans to kill the legend of ECW tonight, according to Joey Styles. I would not enjoy being in that ECW crowd. A lot of those people would annoy me these days. Randy doesn't look fussed though. He even gets pyro.

 

Angle broke Orton's ankle a few months back, we're told. Do not remember that.

 

Kurt has been moved over to ECW already by the sounds of it. His music is all weird and different and new and why have they done that? Why fuck about with a classic? Bloody ECW. It's rubbish, so rubbish! Rubbish!

 

Terrible, terrible music. 

 

The ECW fans would like Angle to fuck Randy up, fuck him up. They circle each other and Orton heads outside instead. The fans chant "pussy" at him because they're hardcore and can't be silenced blah blah blah.

 

Back in the ring, Angle gets a double leg takedown and just goes full on for the Anklelock, which he eventually gets on a writhing Orton, who manages to escape. In a precursor to the modern day, the chants from the audience are constant. It makes it feel like they're not into the match at all.

 

Some kind of headlock type thing is applied by Angle next, Orton gets out, Angle puts it back in. The gumshield says "ECW" today. Orton gets out and gets the hell away as quick as he can, Angle chasing after him in a cool little moment. Orton's back outside again. 

 

Once inside, Angle uses a lovely pick-up-takedown, mounts Orton who's face down on the mat, slaps him around the head a bit and locks his legs around the waist as Randy uses his strength to stand back up. But Angle gets another hold on and takes him down again. Orton has been thoroughly schooled for the entire duration of this match.

 

Angle now offers his head to Orton for a headlock! Such is his confidence. Orton does, Angle escapes and offers his head again. He escapes almost immediately again, and offers himself one more time. Randy doesn't learn and Kurt takes him down. This is basically a showcase for ECW Kurt Angle to endear him to their audience. Not even 'basically', it just is.

 

Orton gets a move in! Kurt's shoulder went into the ring post and that's allowed Orton to hit a load of punches and stuff. But as soon as he stops for a few seconds, Angle gets another takedown. A back elbow brings things back to Orton's control. There's a bloke going mental air drumming in the third row.

 

The crowd's barely reacted to anything that's happened so far. Ah good, a "you can't wrestle" chant. Orton tries a chinlock BUT DOESN'T HE KNOW HE'S DEALING WITH THE MASTER OF THE CHINLOCK?!?!?!? Angle escapes, because HE IS THE MASTER OF THE CHINLOCK and mounts Orton again. From the angle they've chosen it really kind of looks like he's humping him.

 

Orton elbows his way out of the hold and reapplies his chinlock. "Boring" chants. You can say this for Kurt, he never got that chant when he did a chinlock. 

 

Side-note: I don't think Kurt's bled from the mouth since he started wearing the gumshield. Which is great news!

 

German Suplex by Kurt, and that tie dye twat from Full Sail's in the crowd because of fucking course he is. I've really lost all tolerance for crowds at wrestling shows.

 

They exchange European uppercuts, Kurt gets the better of it with a clothesline and hits three more Germans. AAAAAGH. Stamps, presumably waiting for the Angle Slam but he took ages in doing it, so Orton countered and then hit a dropkick. Angle gets a back suplex in and the straps are down, Angle Slam, Orton kicks out at the last moment, I almost thought that was the end there. Anklelock applied and reversed, Orton's backbreaker neckbreaker thing is hit, Angle kicks out. RKO countered, but an elbow knows Kurt down. Orton goes up top, prevents the springy belly to belly superplex, and Orton hits the cross body that was his finisher way back in 2002! He used to do a good cross body, did Randy Orton. Back when he had that dark blue set of shorts with the gold bits.

 

He tries the RKO again, countered into a rollup, he kicks out, Angle gets the Anklelock in, grapevines it and Orton taps in a few seconds.

 

Angle's happy, the fans are happy as well so there's that at least.

 

My thoughts:

Decent match - very much designed to make Angle look as good as possible, both he and Orton did well in making that happen effectively. That music, though. Awful. They'd better not fucking play that at the Hall Of Fame.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match with weird different music

 

PPV record so far:

26 wins by pinfall
18 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
2 losses by countout
10 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
 
One to go...
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Kurt's music is very much of its time there though. To be honest by that point I was so sick of the "You Suck" bit. It just wasn't funny anymore and since he was supposed to be this stripped-down wrestling machine on ECW, the change of the music to make it a little more serious was welcome at the time.

 

Must admit I'd forgotten he even had another match on PPV, too. I could of course Google it but I'm far more intrigued just to see what this final one is.

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Must admit I'd forgotten he even had another match on PPV, too. I could of course Google it but I'm far more intrigued just to see what this final one is.

 

You'll be pleased to hear we're finishing this with an Orton rematch. Vengeance 2006, home of the John Cena vs. Sabu match that happened that time!

 

The match:

And Kurt Angle's PPV career ends with an opener. 

 

Randy Orton's out first. Buy his theme on WWE 'Wreckless Intent' which must have been the follow up to Forceable Entry, the far superior first CD of songs like this, mainly because I remember it and Wreckless Intent is news to me.

 

There's a girl in the crowd with a sign saying 'RKO me please'.

 

Here's the weird new music. You had a point, Daaaaaaad, I understand why they'd want a new theme. But it just sounds like Media Player mucked up and started buffering while they were playing it and trying to burn a CD at the same time. Also the crowd still chants "You Suck" but it doesn't fit anymore so even that doesn't sound right.

 

Anyway, the final entrance of Angle on PPV is over and the match begins. Orton ties himself up in the ropes almost straight away to get into Angle's head. He tries to connect with a lockup of some kind without getting too close to Angle, and heads back to the ropes again when he can't. Good heeling. The third attempt gets us an Angle takedown, a bit of light mounting, and a hammerlock turned into a pin attempt. They did have a fair bit of faith in ECW in the early going if they'd put Kurt in there. You'd think.

 

Angle gets hold of Orton's leg and he dives for the ropes immediately. He's on the apron and Angle's going for the Apron German Suplex! Will this FINALLY work for the very first time in his final PPV match? Of course it won't! But it's the closest he's ever come to achieving it. Orton knocks him to the outside, and Angle hits a German Suplex ON THE OUTSIDE. Orton's body just goes 'thunk' like a slab of meat. It sounds nasty. "ECDub" chant.

 

Back in the ring, more mounting. JR comes out with the SUPERB line "Orton's spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt so far".

 

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the genius of that line?

 

More time on the canvas than Rembrandt!

 

That's the best thing JR has EVER said. I love it!

 

I love it so much I've paid no attention to what's been happening in the match since JR said that line, but it appears we're into Angle's final Ringside Brawl because Orton just threw him into the barricade. Pin attempt gets 2.

 

JR made a reference to Rembrandt! Fucking REMBRANDT! Brilliant.

 

Randy takes us to Chinlock City but Angle powers out into a slam and then hits an European Uppercut. JR sounds like he's got something to prove with the way he's calling all the moves - I guess he hadn't been commentating for a while if Joey Styles had been on Raw before the ECW rebrand. We return to Chinlock City, Kurt of course being very kind to allow Randy to inherit this signature move of his. Orton uses the ropes to help himself out. He's doing snide well here.

 

Angle elbows his way out, then nicks the Benoit gut-to-the-stomach flip bump when Orton knees him in the abdomen - and we're in Chinlock City for the third time. Angle appears to be salivating through his gumshield, his mouth's filling with spit and it's not a pleasant visual.

 

Kurt's down and Angle's heading to the top rope. Sprinty belly to belly? Yep! It goes a bit wrong and they both take quite a nasty fall from the top. Yep, the replay shows Orton's leg got caught behind the rope just as Kurt tried to throw him. Unlucky.

 

A couple of belly to bellys later, the Angle Slam's countered into Orton's chinlock/backbreaker thing that I don't think's ever been given a name. He tries for an RKO and gets pushed into the turnbuckle, which he undoes because he's a sneaky heel. Kurt gives him three German Suplexes… no, wait, FOUR! FIVE! Could we break the record of seven in a row in Angle's final PPV match? SIX! Fuck, we might do this! SEVEN! Oh my goodness! ONE MORE TIME, ONE MORE TIME. EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! NEW RECORD!

 

NEW SUPLEX RECORD! IN HIS FINAL PPV MATCH!

 

Orton kicks out and Angle just goes "oh!" in a way that expresses quite a lot of feelings at the same time - frustration, surprise, disappointment, resignation… Orton goes back to the turnbuckle and this time he gets an Angle Slam. Don't turn your back on Kurt Angle, Randy you idiot! Straps are down, Anklelock is applied, he's teasing a tap, he can't reach the ropes, the crowd's been great in this match. Orton pushes Angle slightly awkwardly into the exposed turnbuckle, however, hits an RKO, and that's a three count.

 

Randy Orton beats Kurt Angle. We never see a Kurt Angle match on PPV again. Legend killed. Orton pose. Next WWE Champion.

 

My thoughts:

Two things make this match excellent:

1) The Rembrandt line from JR.

2) EIGHT German Suplexes in a row!

 

Beyond that, it's a better match than their first effort. Angle lost, but sneaky heel tactics and an RKO will do that. Good match.

 

Angle landmarks:

Final PPV match

Most German Suplexes in a row (8)

The end

 

PPV record - COMPLETE:

26 wins by pinfall
18 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
26 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
2 losses by countout
10 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
Final PPV win-loss record:
48 wins
49 losses
 
 
 
And that's it! We're done. All of Kurt Angle's PPV matches watched, successfully done with a whole day to spare before his Hall of Fame induction tomorrow night.
 
Thanks to everyone who's been reading and posting. Hope it's helped you realise why Kurt's the headline act at the HOF tomorrow.
 
 
What have I learned?
 - Well, just from tonight, Randy Orton is at least eight times tougher than the Lethal Weapon, because he kicked out of 8 German Suplexes and Steve Blackman was done after 1.
 - The 50/50 club is clearly nothing new looking at that win-loss record!
 - Angle also had shades of that modern problem of endless rematches. There were years where he was up against the same couple of people month after month. Four PPV matches with Benoit in a row in 2001, followed by four against Austin.
 - Kurt may have won his first WWE title in 2000, but he didn't feel like a true main eventer unless he was in there with The Rock. People like Triple H, Undertaker and Big Show gave him very little in the early days, but Rock made him feel like an equal. Kudos to Rock.
 - Austin cemented him as a top guy in their 2001 run.
 - Big Show, however, always seemed to steamroll over him,
 - Angle vs. Benoit matches aren't all classics. Even their Rumble match didn't quite live up to how good I remember it being. Unforgiven 2002's still my favourite of their ones against each other.
 - The Hebners are the worst referees the wrestling world has ever seen. Undeniably, irrevocably, eternally terrible.
 - It's rare, but there are a few matches that (whisper it) aren't that good.
 - However, there are plenty that are great.
 - It's fascinating to watch the Angle trademarks we all know develop over time. The straps coming down and the grapevine on the Anklelock being two that I've always thought of and associated with Angle, but they didn't come in until a couple of years down the line.
 - It almost doesn't matter if you've got heel Kurt or babyface Kurt. He doesn't have to change up what he does very much. Whether he's a good guy or a bad guy, his thing is that he'll outwrestle you. That's kind of cool - he's so adaptable. Incredibly adaptable. His stuff works no matter what character he's portraying.
 - It's hard to pick a high point because there are a LOT, but the Booker T thing is the definite nadir. Appalling.
 - Wrestling is his thing, but he does like a brawl. There's a lot more brawling than I'd have expected.
 - And if he comes into a multi-man match dominating and throwing people around all over, he's getting eliminated sharpish.
 - He likes a chinlock.
 - Suplex-wise, you're getting a belly to belly or a German, occasionally a standard vertical, rarely any other variation.
 - That moonsault does hit occasionally, but really not often enough for him to keep trying it. The apron German has a 0% success rate.
 - The Angle Slam ceases to be a finisher a while before 2006, but you don't have to consider it devalued because it kind of just transitions to a setup move.
 - So 2000 moves him up the card, 2001 makes sure he stays there. 2002 is comfortable - they know they can put him anywhere and he'll do good things. 2003 and 2004 he's carrying SmackDown on his back, but late 2004's a trough rather than a peak and I blame JBL. 2005 is getting the goods out of him before the body breaks down totally, and 2006, Undertaker match aside, isn't his best.
 - Who made Kurt? I mentioned Rock and Austin, but I'd give some credit to Jericho as well.
 - Who did Kurt make? Edge, Mysterio, I'd go with Lesnar as well - I never truly saw Brock as a top guy until he was in there with Angle. Cena. That's a good bunch of guys to have helped out.
 - He's not the best in triple threats, poor guy.
 - The Anlelock is an incredibly versatile finisher. Easy to counter, but once it's in, you are DONE.
 - Was this worth doing? Yes.
 - Kurt is a worthy Hall of Famer. It's true. It's true.
 - Fuck the Hebners.
 
 
 
So, in total, I've watched all 79 of Kurt Angle's PPV matches. 79! 
 
Here are my top 11. It'd be a top 10 but I picked 11 instead. Deal with it.
 
My top 11 Angle matches:
1) Armageddon 2000 vs Stone Cold, The Rock, Triple H, Undertaker and Rikishi
2) No Way Out 2006 vs Undertaker
3) Taboo Tuesday 2005 vs John Cena and Shawn Michaels
4) WrestleMania XX vs Eddie Guerrero
5) No Mercy 2001 vs Stone Cold and Rob Van Dam
6) Judgment Day 2002 vs Edge
7) No Mercy 2002 with Chris Benoit vs Edge & Rey Mysterio
8) Unforgiven 2002 vs Chris Benoit
9) Summerslam 2002 vs Rey Mysterio
10) No Mercy 2000 vs The Rock
 
 
 
 
And that's your lot. I'm finished. Happy Hall Of Fame, Kurt Angle. You deserve it.
 
 
 
Clap clap clapclapclap.
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Nice work! Now of course, onto his TNA catalogue!

 

In seriousness I had no idea Angle was gone so soon after ONS 2006, the failed ECW is pretty intriguing to look back on, the early stuff anyway. Could've possibly not been a failure had they kept it in front of raucous crowds and used it a bit like NXT today.

Can't say I'm gutted the brand is dead though. I love the ONS shows, they're a laugh but all that stuff is of its time, they were SUCH dickheads those fans, we're probably actually more blessed than we think these days. I love the kid who thumps Orton on the arm and Orton slowly turns around, standing about a foot taller than him and just gives him a "I'll let you stay alive" smirk. Such great heat for him and Big Match John that night

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Some excellent write-ups, great stuff! There were only a couple of matches i'd forgotten about (that Taker No Way Out one for one, I'm definitely gonna have to search that one out). The win-loss record isn't so bad when you take out multi-man match losses, which I think often shouldn't count. Or at least there should be two sets of records. Kurt's always hovered in and out of my top 5 favourites of all time, what a guy and can't wait to see him back in a WWE setting this weekend :)

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