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The Kurt Angle Match Marathon


HarmonicGenerator

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Angle is currently 2-1 up against John Cena in this series. Their WWE Championship match IS the poster for Unforgiven 2005. Can Cena draw level? (yup)

 

The match:

So many different PPV sets back then.

 

Angle's trying out a bit of a new look at the moment. He's gone with the 'proper' gold medal again, he's got a t-shirt on (not seen in the entrance since his last match with Cena) but this one's sleeveless (and says 'angry by choice' on the back, so Angry Angle looks to be here to stay) and the gumshield makes its debut! I didn't think it came into play until he went to ECW but I've remembered this incorrectly.

 

Oh! Oh! That reaction for John Cena! They fucking LOVE him and they're screaming in joy for him and it's bloody BEAUTIFUL! Beautiful. 

 

I think Earl Hebner had been got rid of by this point because it's the main event and Chioda's the referee. Hail to the ref.

 

Cena has his ankle all taped up. That's going to come into play. Red rag to a bull, that.

 

They're dragging out the start of the match as Chioda feels Cena up in the corner. But then it starts and Angle takes Cena down into the Shawn Michaels Headlock, perhaps foreshadowing their Taboo Tuesday triple threat that's next up in this project. Cena hits a hip toss and Kurt gets out of the ring and smacks himself in the head a few times to try and get in the zone.

 

Second lockup attempt sees Angle take Cena down with a hammerlock that he turns into a kind of armbar. Cena's face gets stuck on top of a dried pool of (what I assume must be Shawn Michaels') blood. Yuck. Cena gets a Michaels Headlock in of his own. They're talking about how Cena's first match was against Angle on commentary - he was really strongly linked with Kurt for the first few years of his run, it's absolutely right he induct him at the Hall Of Fame.

 

Cena uses his power with shoulder blocks and Angle rolls out again - the frustration is evident in the extreme as he yells at himself and smacks the apron. It's a nice new development and evolution for the character as he basically progresses to the role of veteran. Makes a lot of sense. Angry Angle.

 

Punches in the corner, but Cena fights back with a body slam and two elbow drops for 2. Angle's neck looks a lot shorter than it used to. He seems stockier than in the early years, certainly, but then it has been nearly 6 years since the Stasiak match. 

 

There's a German! It's been mostly Cena up to now but that German Suplex got them both back on level pegging. The crowd was behind Cena during his entrance but there's a duelling "let's go" chant for a little bit while Angle stamps and kicks the downed Champion. He hits a suplex and throws Cena down to the ground mid-sell to get a 2 count. The neck chokehold is applied and when Cena gets out of it he gets forearmed in the face so the hold can be re-applied.

 

Cena gets out again, tries a sunset flip, but ends up being hit with a belly to belly. "Woo!" Happy Angle… nah, not really, he still looks pretty fucked off and angry. He knees Cena in the head each time he tries to get up to further demonstrate the point. Waistlock popped on and then another German Suplex, then a couple of covers, and then the body scissors. Moves all over the shop here. And now Chinlock City (twinned with Bodyscissors Town more often than not these days). Cena escapes with a DDT.

 

Punches are exchanged, with Cena getting the upper hand (ha?) and some clotheslines and a flying shoulder thing and a suplex. He does his hand signal thing he used to do (the Word Life one, but not the original Word Life one) and they try each other's finishers which get countered, then a Cena spinebuster gets 2. JR says it's Double-A style but it was more like The Rock's. Sorry Jim.

 

Bret Turnbuckle Bump for Kurt! But he recovers and hits the Angle Slam … Cena kicks out though! You kind of expect that at this point, but I'd argue that's more due to the move gradually turning into a 'this might work, but it's not really my finisher, that's the Anklelock' kind of thing. Which is proved by the Anklelock being applied. Cena kicks it away and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle which gets a near fall as well. The Angle Slam might not be a finisher anymore but I think I still take issue with it having the same consequences as a fist drop.

 

Chioda gets squished and twatted in the head by Angle (accidentally) which is unfortunate for Cena who hits the Still-the-FU-not-yet-the-AA-when-did-that-happen-then but, the referee being beyond all mortal help, it doesn't finish the match. Angle hits a low blow and WRAPS THE GOLD MEDAL AROUND HIS HAND AND CLATTERS CENA WITH IT! POWER OF THE PUNCH!

 

He then drops a FUCKING VICIOUS knee right on Cena's ankle and that might be the most believable scream of pain Cena's ever done because fuck me, that looked like it should have shattered every bone he's got down there. Straps down, a primal scream from Angle and the Anklelock is fully in! Eric Bischoff is down now to taunt Cena with the title because I guess he doesn't know big money when he sees it, while Cena tries to reach the ropes (not that it'll do much good if the ref's still down). He does, and Bischoff kicks his arm away. He appears to have taken charge of the match but Cena manages to kick Angle into him which takes care of that. Cena hits Angle with the title belt… Chioda saw it though and the bell rings!

 

The crowd goes quiet while they wait for a decision… Bischoff is back in the ring and says he doesn't care, Cena is not leaving with the title. Cena hits him with an FU, his music plays, and I think he's retained the title by DQ? Kurt's still attacking him and trying to rip his face off and kicking him in the ribs in a post-match Ringside Brawl.

 

Many many bell rings as Cena gets chucked into the steps.

 

So is this a No Contest or did Angle win by DQ? 

 

The Ringside Brawl continues, its longest iteration for some time, as Angle prepares the Spanish announce table… but gets an FU right through it! Good stuff, I wonder why Cena hasn't done that more often. And fucking hell, he's bleeding from the mouth AGAIN. Can some medical professional please fix this problem with Angle's mouth? Every month now. 

 

We get some replays to help us figure out what actually happened. Yep, Cena lost by DQ when he hit Kurt with the belt. But he's celebrating with the belt anyway. A win's a win even when it's a loss. Get yourself DQ'd and keep the title. It's justifiable in this instance I guess, but still not the most babyface-ish thing in the world.

 

Angle's down and out by the table. The end.

 

Angle-Cena series: Angle 3-1 Cena, technically

 

My thoughts:

A fine main event with an odd finish, Cena celebrating his hard fought DQ loss. But a fine match all the same - if you want proof that Cena could have really good main event matches as far back as 2005, here's a strong example of that. Nice to have Angle in the proper main event for the first time in ages as well. I just wish they'd sort out this mouth-bleeding problem he's having. Every month it happens.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match with gumshield

First use of the gold medal as a weapon

 

PPV record so far:

24 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
23 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
8 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
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Rematch time! Kinda. It's Taboo Tuesday so there's a mystery third opponent to make this a triple threat match!

 

Spoiler: Shawn Michaels. It's Shawn Michaels. 

 

This should be a good match, I've never seen it before - I remember this was the first PPV to take place after I went to uni… not that I had the ability to watch most PPVs anyway, but I remember (I don't know why) thinking about who might win the Kane/Show vs Cade/Murdoch tag title match before a 'writing skills' seminar on the Tuesday of the show.

 

The question going into the match (since we know who the third man is) is who's losing to Cena. Angle (probably) or Shawn (probably not)? WrestleManias 21 and 23 combine - let's do it!

 

The match:

It's been a little while since Kurt's been in a triple threat match… well, it was January, so emphasis on 'little' there.

 

Skipping through the card on the Network and what an odd show this must have been… Jimmy Snuka teaming with Eugene, Mankind coming back to wrestle Carlito, and Batista vs Coach and Vader?!

 

The options for the third man in Cena/Angle were Big Show, Michaels and Kane. Good choice, fans.

 

The gumshield and sleeveless t-shirt look is firmly in place as Angry Angle heads out. The "You Suck" chants were louder than the initial pop here. Can you imagine how much they'd have to fix Taboo Tuesday if they did it again today? Cesaro in EVERY match against Kevin Owens, and they'd both win all of them. 

 

Nice reaction for Shawn as he heads out. As his pyro goes off, I wonder if I've either stopped noticing Kurt's pyro or if he's stopped having it? Hmm.

 

I also wonder what it was like watching a PPV the night after Raw was on. People who watched a Taboo Tuesday, your views please!

 

Joey Styles on commentary with Lawler. 

 

Still almost all positive reaction for Cena. It looks like the Taboo Tuesday set has reused the old bit of the original SmackDown set that Rhyno Gored Jericho through that time in 2001. Any show that used that set subsequently and did not feature anybody being Gored through it is hereby declared a missed opportunity. Gores in this match please.

 

Angle looks angrily at Shawn and Cena and Shawn again during Cena's entrance. When Chioda holds up the title belt it spins so the W goes upside down, then we cut to a crowd shot where it looks like a small child has his camera nicked off him. Little things.

 

They face each other off… then Angle smacks HBK in the face, knocking him out of the ring, and goes straight after Cena! Shawn tries to get back in the ring and gets a fresh one for mouthing off again [/tenuous Rogue One reference]. It happens a third time but that's distracted Angle a little bit because Cena was able to hit a suplex. Michaels breaks up the pin and starts chopping Angle and kicking Cena. 

 

A back suplex attempt is countered into a Michaels cross body, Cena takes Michaels out, Angle takes Cena out, is that a "Cena sucks" chant? It's hard to tell this early on in the main event run, Cena back body drops Angle over the top rope and he tries the Michinoku Bump but he just doesn't have the mobility he did in 2000, his legs don't even buckle under him this time, he basically just lands on his feet mid-flip. 

 

Anyway, he's out of the match for a bit - especially because Shawn gets whipped into him as he climbs the apron - and we get the WrestleMania 23 preview portion of the match with Michaels and Cena.

 

He gets back in for a German Suplex on Cena (Styles says 'shades of Karl Gotch' which is a bit silly maybe), then one for Michaels, then a belly to belly for each of them as well. The crowd applauds, the feet stamp, Angle Slam is countered by Michaels, but he counters that into the Anklelock! Both these guys have tapped out to it this year. Everybody's finishers get countered in a really cool sequence. Everybody goes for various pin attempts in another really cool sequence, then Angle and Michaels team up to take Cena down - the men in the crowd like this, so maybe I'm imagining these positive reactions for Cena's entrance.

 

Shawn watches as Angle punches Cena a lot when he's down, and they're working together to throw him shoulder first into the ring post. They're not done though because they're both heading out of the ring to beat him up some more. Or at least Angle is - Shawn's gone over to prepare the announce table! This is an extraordinary team up! The Ringside Brawl clobbers Cena around some more and I love the communication between Angle and Michaels. The way they work together here just feels really natural. Double reverse suplex on Cena through the announce table - and then they turn on each other straight away!

 

Chops on the outside, powerslam on the inside and Shawn gets a two count. The WrestleMania 21 portion of the match! Styles makes a Mr Wrestling II reference, which is definitely a bit silly. They exchange strikes - punches and chops and European uppercuts and kicks - in the corner and Angle hits a suplex for 2. In with the body scissors, which I'm saying is now an official part of the repertoire. 

 

Is Kurt's mouth bleeding yet? 

 

The town merger between Chinlock and Bodyscissors is activated once again, but Shawn's made it so Angle's on his back with his shoulders down. "Cena" chant as the other two roll around and punch each other.

 

Someone's bleeding.

 

Back on their feet, more chops, then a belly to belly and a "woo!" Angry Angle looks angry. And sweaty. Always so, so sweaty these days. Shawn's propped up on the turnbuckle - did Kurt learn NOTHING from the last two times he tried this? - and yes, for the third time Kurt gets thrown back so Shawn can try for a top rope move. HE LEARNS NOTHING. NEITHER OF THEM LEARN.

 

Wait! Angle's sprinted back up for a top rope Angle Slam! And Shawn kicks out! Okay, you can maybe make a finisher devaluation argument here. Cena's back in! Crowd comes alive! Angle knocked out of the ring! Cena/Michaels bit! See you in a few!

 

Angle makes his presence felt mid-Five Knuckle Shuffle by dragging Cena out of the ring and throwing him into the front row - only to be caught by a Michaels dive a second later! Another great sequence!

 

This is a great match!

 

Angle and Michaels again now. Shawn hits a forearm and kips up straight away for some clotheslines and slams, Cena's back in for some of the same. Everybody's down. But wait! Angle was lying in wait for Shawn to kip up again! He caught him! Belly to belly over the top rope to the floor! "ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAR" says Angry Angle!

 

But Cena's up too! Spinny move thing! FU attempted! Anklelock! Locked in! Kick away fails, it's still locked in! Kick away fails again, it's STILL locked in! GRAPEVINE! Tap out teased! SHAWN'S ALIVE! He's going up to the top rope! ELBOW RIGHT ON KURT! Band tuning up! Angle staggering to his feet! Sweet Chin Music! FU! FU TO MICHAELS! 1, 2, 3! CENA PINS MICHAELS!

 

Cracking finishing sequence! What a match!

 

Cena wins but his ankle's killing him as he's handed the belt to end the show.

 

Angle-Cena series: still Angle 3-1 Cena, because neither one beat the other here.

 

My thoughts:

This is a FANTASTIC triple threat match. I've never heard it talked about much, I guess because it's stashed away on what must have been a completely unmemorable show, but it's bloody tremendous. The Angle-Cena bits are great, the Angle-Michaels bits are great, the Cena-Michaels bits are great, and the bits with all three of them are … great! If you don't remember this one, seek it out on the Network. It's really, really good, and if I was ranking all these matches at the end of the project, it's a Top 10 contender. Almost at Cena/Rollins/Lesnar levels at times. Recommended!

 

Angle landmarks:

Not really any to speak of. First and only Taboo Tuesday but since there were only ever two that's not much of a landmark.

 

PPV record so far:

24 wins by pinfall

17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
23 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
9 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
 
Can Cena get a win over Angle at Survivor Series? We'll find out… tomorrow. Or Friday, because I've got seven hours on a train tomorrow and may be in no mood by the time I get back.
 
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Cena's face gets stuck on top of a dried pool of (what I assume must be Shawn Michaels') blood. Yuck.

 

Shawn had a nice safe match with Chris Masters on that show. The blood will be Edge from his cage match with Matt Hardy, which I imagine few casuals remember Matt WON, given how much of a loser he was booked as at SummerSlam and in their final match.

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Thanks raid. I just tend to assume at this period in time that if there's blood it's Shawn's (or Vince's). Keep on keeping me right!

 

It's time for the one-on-one rematch with Cena at Survivor Series! Did I do this match in my Survivor Series Match A Day thread? I watched it recently, I know that, but was it for that? Or did I do the Triple H/Flair match? I could check, but I won't. 

 

The match:

This match doesn't just have a guest referee, it has Kurt's own 'personal referee', Daivari, who gets to referee all his matches, I believe, and also helps him win if he gets in trouble. 

 

SIDENOTE:

 

They should absolutely rehash this with Bobby Roode.

 

He could have his own massive entourage who do everything for him. He has his own timekeeper, his own ring announcer, his own referee (or at least his own official who can argue with the real ref if things aren't going Bobby's way, allowing him to cheat), someone to look after his robe, someone to dress him, like a full on crew of personal assistants for every aspect of his appearances.

 

It should happen.

 

END SIDENOTE

 

Daivari is also a referee who gets his own entrance. I wonder if they'd have him back to team with/manage/be a personal ref for his brother? Ariya's better than Daivari Classic, though, I think. Jerry Lawler calls the Arabic tones of Daivari's theme "freaky music".

 

I don't hear what the reaction is to Angle because the spinner title spins on a graphic at the same time. Bischoff and Angle have censored the crowd too, so every "You Suck" is bleeped.

 

The t-shirt, gumshield look is intact. It's here to stay. Angry Sweaty Angle gets a rubdown from Daivari while we wait for Cena to come out. Those bleeps are annoying, but it's nice that SIX YEARS FROM HIS DEBUT they're still trying out new bits and pieces with Angle. How much things had changed from Survivor Series 1999 to here. Contrast with Survivor Series 2011, almost six years ago now, where a headline match included a tag team with John Cena in it, and a tag team with The Miz in it. I'm almost making a valid point there but I don't think I am. It's early. Forgive me.

 

Big pop for Cena on the entrance again. The canvas is covered in splatters and plops of blood - I know it's Ric Flair's this time - and boy, I do NOT miss that. Horrible (or 'Savio Vega' if my suggestion in that shit names thread catches on).

 

Angle goes straight for the leg and ankle of Cena, taking him down and working on it until he gets powered down, arm dragged and Cena works an arm hold. Massive duelling Angle/Cena chants already - it's constant noise from the crowd. I actually quite like that, there's zero time for a clap-clap-clapclapclap. So loud! Angle heads outside, and Daivari won't let Cena follow him. Evil referee!

 

I've never thought about it before I'd hate to bump on those blood puddles.

 

Angle is able to get the advantage once he's back in the ring, elbows and corner punches and things, Cena fights back with a hip toss and a Fisherman's Suplex, I can't tell if the crowd's booing Cena or booing Daivari for refusing to count the pin. He doesn't count, anyway, Cena goes to get him and Angle trips him up into the Anklelock! A sneaky ploy!

 

Cena can't reach the ropes but I'm very surprised they don't just do a Montreal and go for the bell regardless. Never miss a chance at Survivor Series, you'd think, but no. Cena gets out of the hold, hits a spinebuster on Angle and then slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari wants to DQ him but Angle stops him! He needs to WIN and he can't do it by DQ! That's a nice twist on the 'biased referee' stuff. Cena chucks them both outside. Daivari may be a wrestler but he's a referee tonight so the fall takes him out indefinitely. Silly.

 

Ringside Brawl sends Cena's head into the steps. Chad Patton (I think, I tend to get him and Doan confused - yes! Joey Styles confirms Patton) is down to help as Angle is in control again. Waistlock. A cross body by Cena gets him back in charge for a bit, and a belly to belly by Angle does it for him. Angry Angle spits through the gumshield. Horrible/Savio Vega.

 

The "Cena Sucks" chants are now dominating in the arena. So the turn on him happened in 2005 sometime. Was it Christian's fault? Should we blame Christian?

 

Ooh! Blast from the past as Angle locks in his patented chinlock with the half-crab leg thing that he did sometimes way back in 2000. He goes all red when he's this sweaty. The move takes a detour to standard Chinlock City as dey take over the crowd noise more definitively and Lawler enables them. Cena gets out of the hold with a jawbreaker and a DDT.

 

The comeback is in full effect now with clotheslines and what Styles calls a 'belly to belly sit out powerbomb' (the spinny thing). Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and Angle's reeling. Daivari's still down outside somehow. Angle clotheslines Chad Patton. Cena is confused. Angle low blows Cena. Clever. He wants another ref! Mickie 'can't call him Jay because people will confuse him with Mickie James because they look so alike' Henson runs down. I don't know why unless he fancies getting clotheslined as well. Anyway, straps down, Angry Angle slam, Cena kicks out.

 

NEWS FLASH

 

Kurt Angle has REALLY HAIRY FOREARMS. Check them out after the kick out (1:40:00 ish on the Network). SO HAIRY.

 

END NEWS FLASH

 

They're up on the top rope now and Angle hits a superplex - a rare thing for him to do the standard version of that move - but Cena kicks out again.

 

NEWS FLASH TWO

 

He's also developed neck folds on the back of his head. All wrinkly like a shar pei dog.

 

shar_pei.jpg

 

END NEWS FLASH

 

Right, so, Angle's tried the moonsault - second time this year, I think - and it's missed - again for the second time this year. He still does that flip as elegantly as ever, though, so that's nice. Cena sees his chance but once Angle's on his shoulders for the FU Angle grabs onto Henson to stop the momentum! He knocks Cena down and then attacks Henson - it's like Stone Cold at Summerslam 2001 all over again!

 

THE RECKONING HAS COME. CHARLES ROBINSON IS HERE. SmackDown colours and all. Kurt's SmackDown for life.

 

Angle had tried to get Daivari back into things but Cena DDT'd him. He then hit the FU on Angle and Robinson BETRAYED THE BLUE (not really) and counts the 3. Cena wins!

 

Angle-Cena series: Angle 3-2 Cena

 

My thoughts:

Not their best match. Actually might be their least-best. It's more about the twists and turns of the referee stuff than the match, and the 'Cena battling the odds' side of it is a little too on the nose even for wrestling. However, it is funny watching three bumped referees all doing a little bounce on the mat when the FU connects. Back in the days when one used to do the job. That's another little link between Cena and Angle, actually, with finishers and how they've become less powerful over the years.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match with Daivari association

First PPV match with "you suck" bleeped!

Final Survivor Series

 

PPV record so far:

24 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
24 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
9 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
So, in terms of pinfall decisions only, Angle is now OFFICIALLY in the 50-50 club. He's won exactly as much as he's lost when it comes to the 1, 2, 3.
 
That's also 2005 done. Next stop, New Year's Revolution and the Elimination Chamber!
 
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I've got the morning off work. I could sort out my car insurance. Or, I could watch another Kurt Angle match.

 

I'll watch another Kurt Angle match. One week to go and I'm in the home stretch here!

 

The match:

The opening video of this show really sells the danger of the Chamber. It's pretty cool. I couldn't believe it's the case now as it was then, though.

 

This is the first time since the Armageddon match that Angle's been in a six man cage based match for the WWE Title. Admittedly that's quite a specific set of circumstances, but even so, I'll inevitably draw comparisons between the two. Can this one live up to that?

 

The competitors are Kurt, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Kane, Carlito and Chris Masters.

 

The entrances for the match take 10 minutes by themselves. That's some WrestleMania 31/32 levels of padding things out.

 

New entrant every four minutes.

 

No crossover of participants between this and the Cell match. I might start on this insurance until Kurt's entrance.

 

It's Chris Masters' 23rd birthday on the day of this match. 23! Making him only 34 or so now. Get him back, WWE.

 

Shit! Missed Angle's entrance! However my car is now insured for another year. Right, so the censoring "You Suck" isn't a thing anymore. The t-shirt's gone. However, the gum shield, the proper gold medal, and the Daivari remain.

 

The Cena turn in the eyes of den has been cemented, he gets booed when he comes out. Boo to that, I say.

 

Cena and Michaels start the match as Kurt looks on from his pod intently. I've got at least four minutes before I need to write anything.

 

Carlito's in third, so there's another four minutes. Angle looks ready. He's got his hands on the glass and everything. He watches Carlito flip over the ropes onto Michaels. 

 

Entrant number four is… KURT ANGLE! Big cheer for him as he charges out! German for Michaels! German for Carlito! AAAAAARGH! German for Cena! German for Michaels! AAAAAAARGH! German for Carlito! German for Cena! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE ROPES ONTO THE STEEL FOR MICHAELS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Attempted German over the ropes for Carlito, it doesn't really work but never mind! Cena gets punched lots! Michaels slingshotted into the chains of the cage! AAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

He gets to work stamping on Cena in the corner and Shawn's bleeding lots now. Face first into the pod goes Michaels to leave a nasty blood stain on the glastic. Belly to belly for Cena, this is amazing by Angle, he's destroyed EVERYONE. AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Michaels suplexed back over the ropes and he's bleeding A LOT. Straps down, this is the best Kurt's looked since the Santa match. Anklelock for Carlito - can he hang on until the next entrant comes in?

 

Yes he can! And luckily it's his tag partner Chris Masters, who becomes the first person in this match to actually hit Kurt Angle with something - and he takes him down with a clothesline. ANGLE'S GOING IN THE MASTERLOCK! No! He countered it into the Anklelock! Cena breaks it up for some unknown reason - why?! - and tries an FU, which OF COURSE gets countered into the Anklelock. Silly silly Cena. He crawls through Shawn Michaels' blood to try and reach the ropes until Shawn comes in with Sweet Chin Music on Kurt! One, two, three… WHAT?!?!?! 

 

Kurt Angle is the first person eliminated! What?!

 

Bugger watching the rest of this match then. Cena wins. Edge cashes in. The end. Kane didn't even get in the match until after Angle's elimination so we don't even get any chokeslams.

 

However, a shining light. Cena didn't get to eliminate Kurt, so Kurt wins their series 3-2!

 

My thoughts:

I should have seen that coming. The last time Kurt was so utterly dominant against multiple opponents was the Royal Rumble and he got eliminated really quickly then too. But those four minutes before Masters comes in - wow! That's Super Angle, just destroying everyone with everything he's got, and the more he does, the more energised he seems to become. It's bloody good fun to watch. Give this match a spin just for that. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!

 

Angle landmarks:

First (only) Elimination Chamber match

Final WWE Championship match

 

PPV record so far:

24 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
9 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
Kurt appears to go back to SmackDown after this match, because he's in their main event at the Royal Rumble. And it's just as well he stopped wearing that wig after the Hulk Hogan match, because his opponent would surely split it. MENRY TIME.
 
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Just watched his summerslam match with rey!

 

Holy fook, Kurt was so consistent! He's gotta be in the top 5 in ring workers of all time, surely?!

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HG this thread is great, really glad you're seeing it through to the finish. I've always loved Kurt, from as soon as he debuted he was my favourite through nearly his whole WWE tenure (only Brock could topple him). It's been fun revisiting his run and I've picked out a couple of matches to watch at some point. Did you keep track of your top 10 matches of his or anything?

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Onyx - Hoy! Counting chokeslams is an integral part of this whole process! It's of vital importance!

 

Bellend - Thanks! I actually didn't think to keep track of a top 10 as I've been going along, which was stupid of me. But I do plan to do one when it's all finished. What's been nice is that there've been some real surprises that I think will make it in there along the usual suspects of classic Kurt matches.

 

 

 

 

It's the Battle of the Olympians! Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry! Cue the 2006 Royal Rumble epic Roman Colosseum style music!

 

The match:

Mark Henry's out first for this, no Three Six Mafia yet but he has got a Daivari. Henry is the one responsible for taking out Batista, forcing him to vacate the World Heavyweight Title, which is on the line in this match.

 

"Angle, Angle, Angle" chant before his music hits. He's a babyface again then. The music hits - with a very slight variation! The opening fanfare is extended as he walks through the doors of the set with the Big Gold Belt around his waist. Not only is he back on SmackDown, he's already their Champion! As it should be.

 

The t-shirt's gone and the fireworks are BACK with a BANG. "You Suck" is still chanted, but Cole tries to claim they're directed at Mark Henry. They're obviously not, but they are chanted with endearment now. Angle's Raw contract expired, apparently - that was poor management on their part - so he popped over, won a battle royal and got the title! 

 

They start off more of less neutral, Angle trying to take Henry down but the power and strength is too much for him. Big bloke, is Mark Henry. Huge. But Angle's got the speed to avoid him so far. Henry starts to get annoyed at this and Angle lands a couple of punches - until Menry grabs his hand mid-punch and basically crushes it. POWER. Angle escapes, and tries to use speed again, but Henry catches him, picks him up and chucks him onto the ropes, where he goes spilling outside for Daivari to beat him up a bit.

 

Mizark's kneepads look like they're made out of tinfoil.

 

Back in the ring, Angle tries a front facelock, but again he gets picked up and dumped on the ropes. Then he stands on him. Big splash, Angle kicks out. The crowd are dead. I was going to be polite but they're dead. There's barely any noise here. I'd say they don't believe Henry could win the title but if JBL could be WWE Champion for a year they should be able to believe anything.

 

Bearhug. They're not doing a massive amount to combat the crowd fatigue (they did have to sit through the Hour Of Rey Mysterio Lying In A Corner Rumble). Angle has a red patch on the right side of his head, can't tell if that's blood or a plaster or a bit of confetti.

 

Angle reverses the World's Strongest Slam into the Anklelock - I've decided it's confetti - and Mizark kicks him away. Angle can't pick Henry up for the Angle Slam, which I find hard to believe considering how many times he was able to hit Big Show with it - BUT he hits a German Suplex! Knew you had it in you, Kurt.

 

This is the least angry and sweaty Angle's looked in months. Angle Slam is hit! Hurray! Henry kicks out. The Angle Scream AAAAAAAAAAGH and the straps come down for another Anklelock. Unfortunately Daivari distracts Charles Robinson, allowing Henry to bump Angle into him. Kurt decides to go for one of his old tricks and goes to grab a chair, Daivari tries to stop him and gets smacked in the head with it. Kurt attempts a chairshot on Henry but he catches the chair and throws Kurt away… but he gets a low blow! He goes back for the chair and THUNK, unprotected headshot, THUNK, there's a second. Ouch. (This is post-Eddie Guerrero, pre-Benoit, so those kinds of things haven't gone away yet. But still, nowhere near as prominent as 2000-2001.) Henry kicks out.

 

Angle then exposes the middle turnbuckle but Henry's too strong to be whipped. He sends Angle into the corner, charges, misses, hits the buckle, Angle rolls him up, grabs the ropes, and that's your three count! 

 

HOWEVER!

 

The celebration is rather extremely very short-lived because GONG

 

GONG

 

GONG

 

FUCK YES IT'S THE UNDERTAKER RIDING A CHARIOT DRIVEN BY A WHITE HORSE BECAUSE IT'S THE UNDERTAKER AND THERE ARE DRUIDS WITH FIRE AND MIST SO MUCH MIST AAAAH IT'S SO COOL I WISH I HAD SEEN THE UNDERTAKER'S ENTRANCE LIVE JUST ONCE.

 

Angle is protectively clutching the World Heavyweight title to him. Undertaker gestures to the title and then PROPER FORCE LIGHTNING SHOOTS OUT OF HIS FINGERS BECAUSE THE UNDERTAKER'S A FUCKING DARK LORD OF THE SITH AND THE TURNBUCKLES EXPLODE AND THE RING COLLAPSES WITH KURT ANGLE IN IT BECAUSE TAKER IS ONE WITH THE FORCE AND THE FORCE IS WITH HIM AND KURT ANGLE DOES NOT KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE.

 

dean-ambrose-the-undertaker.jpg

 

I can't find a good picture of the Force Lightning but the above moment's quite popular on Google because Dean Ambrose was one of the druids here (he's on the left). 

 

My thoughts:

I'll be honest, it's neither man's best. The match itself is basic - Angle makes Henry look strong, Henry makes Angle look good enough to overpower him, Angle wins, let's set up next month. If you're struggling with the wait until Star Wars Celebration in Orlando (can you imagine having the disposable income to go to WrestleMania AND Star Wars Celebration next month AND do the theme parks in between? Ultimate holiday. Ultimate.) for The Last Jedi trailer just watch the end bit of this.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match as World Heavyweight Champion (and first PPV defence)

Final Royal Rumble

 

PPV record so far:

25 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
9 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
 
We'll have us another Undertaker match next, I reckon.
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If it's the one I'm thinking of, it's a belter. 

 

I reckon it probably is. No Way Out 2006 for the World Heavyweight Title, Angle vs. Undertaker one last, gloriously Hebnerless, time.

 

I remember the hype over the quality of this match being such that I spent a not insignificant amount of money on the DVD of the show so I could watch it. I remember enjoying the match, but the rest of the card being so far below its standard that I kind of wish I hadn't spent the money. But I liked Angle-Taker!

 

I'd also point to this match as being a huge turning point in Taker's career, the first time in a long time he'd had an absolutely cracking match, certainly since his 2004 return. From here it was on to the 2007 Rumble, the Batista and Edge matches, and the Michaels and Triple H series. Arguably the best in-ring run of his career started with this match against our Kurt.

 

Looking forward to watching this one again. Fully Loaded destruction this is not.

 

 

The match:

So that extended fanfare opening is sticking around. Why they decided to fuck about with Kurt's theme tune six years in I do not know. They've expanded his fireworks budget as well, loads of them this month. Angle's still the champ. Barely any "You Suck"s here.

 

GONG. This is the first match against Deadman Taker for Angle, it's been strictly the American Bad Ass up to now. GONG. GONG. GONG. GONG. Bloody LOVE an Undertaker entrance. Top of my wrestling bucket list. I don't know if I'll ever get to a WrestleMania but I'd have paid well over the odds for the SmackDown UK tour last year if he hadn't pulled out. Don't need a match. Just give me the entrance and I'll be happy.

 

In the cuts back to Angle in the ring, he's prepared, he's focused, he's a tiny bit intimidated, but he's ready. Taker brings the lights back up. Cut to Angle, whose eyes tell a story of "fuuuuuuuck. I think I can take you, but you're the fucking Undertaker…" 

 

Michael Cole makes this entire project relevant by describing Angle as a future Hall Of Famer. IT FINALLY CAME TRUE! That's the first time he's had that on PPV.

 

Winner of this match will defend against Randy Orton at Mania (and Rey but we'll get to that.)

 

Angle goes for a waistlock straight away after Taker misses a big boot. Taker throws a couple of punches and Angle ducks them, then ducks out of the ring for a breather. The idea is the best grappler in the company vs the best striker. Cole also said something, I think, about neither man ever having tapped out which isn't true. Taker puts on a headlock then starts to work on the arm, wrenching it and smacking it on the top turnbuckle. Cole claims he's working the arm because Angle needs that arm to properly apply the Anklelock. 

 

Taker uses his strength to pick Angle up by the arm, then drops a leg on it and uses the short arm scissors we saw Shawn Michaels do last year. I may have to disregard that grappler-vs-striker thing since Taker's focusing on wrestling and Angle's the one punching his way out of the hold...

 

Old School is attempted but Angle properly punches his way out this time… but not for long! The arm work continues, and the duelling chants start. Old School connects! Angle gets frustrated, runs at Taker and is hit with a Flatliner for 2. Snake Eyes hits, but Taker misses the follow up boot and Kurt hits a NICE release German Suplex! 

 

Angle now in control with stamps in the corner and Good Vibrations But Without The Vibrations So Just A Foot In The Throat Really, Honestly Shinsuke, You're Not Doing That Much Damage With That Move Really Are You. Someone in the crowd is yelling "AAAAAAANDAAAATAYYYYKAAAAAA!" in a shrill and distracting voice. Taker regains control temporarily, but is sent out of the ring and Angle gets a brief Ringside Brawl in, cracking Taker's head on the ring steps. He tries a dive off the apron but Taker catches him and runs him back first into the ring post!

 

This should have been at WrestleMania. It's at that level. It's the level of match they'd kill to still have available today. Fuck that crappy triple threat match and the Mark Henry Casket match. Angle vs Undertaker for the title would have stolen the show at Mania 22.

 

BOOM! Apron leg drop. Angle kicks out. Chokeslam signalled! It's been over a year since we've had one of these… he's got him by the neck! No! Angle kicks his way out and gets an uppercut for his trouble. Clothesline missed by Undertaker and Kurt takes him down by the knee! Now we get some leg work - stamping on it, standing on it, wrapping it round the ring post. Undertaker's so much better when he can show vulnerability like this. Apron Figure Four! Angle keeps it on until 5 and elbows it a few times while Taker's trying to roll back in the ring. Taker kicks out at 1 and tries to regroup but can't as Angle pins him down in the corner and starts striking at him.

 

He uses the leg-on-bottom-rope-and-jump-on-it move that, being honest, never really worked against Big Show, but it's doing its job here. Every time Undertaker tries a counter, Angle just stamps on his knee a few more times. Eventually he sends Kurt through the middle rope and we get Ringside Brawl Part 2. Nick Patrick's a stickler for a 10-count, though, so they've got to be careful. Looks like Taker's going for another Apron Leg Drop, not the best idea with a bad knee, WOW WOW WOW Angle caught him in the Anklelock MID LEG DROP! WOW! They roll outside as Angle keeps the hold on - he pops back in the ring to break the 10 - then he goes back out for more Anklelocking!

 

Another break of the count at 8, and Taker stumbles back in the ring too. But the leg work continues. It's a leg lock we've seen before - I believe in his other matches with Undertaker, although I'm not going to check (professional!) - and Taker tries to claw his way out but it's not happening. Yes it is. Undertaker forces Kurt's head down and legs him a few times to break the hold. Angle gets a double leg takedown and a bit of ground and pound, but Taker turns it into Hell's Gate! Except it doesn't seem to have been properly established as a finisher for him yet because Cole and Tazz don't sound like they give much of a toss that he's locked it in.

 

The hold gets broken and Angle rolls outside. Ringside Brawl Part 3 is Taker in charge and Angle trying to get away. He's thrown in the barricade, and he's thrown into Tony Chimel in the timekeeper's area! Poor Chimel didn't stand a chance. Punches to the face, a kick that Angle takes full on in the face - ouch - and Taker's setting up an announce table! He keeps popping back in the ring to break the count, though. STICKLER for the rules, Nick Patrick. 

 

WHOOOOOOOA! Angle took a momentary advantage and hit an Angle Slam through the announce table! Not even the one that had been set up either, it was the one next to it! The replay shows him ducking a Taker right hand, transitioning immediately into the move and BOOOOM through the table! Angle rolls back in the ring but Taker's got to meet the count to stay in the match. This is unlike those Cena matches last year because Angle's the champ… oh, maybe not! Patrick gets to 9 and Angle stops him! He wants to BEAT Undertaker! ANGLE RAGE SCREAM AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

 

The Ringside Brawling continues with Angle in control, but only for a bit because he gets whipped into the steps and FUCK OUCH as he rebounds his neck and throat land on a bit of announce table that was standing on end and FUCK that looked sore. Taker's up outside the ring and Angle's down in the ring. 

 

Undertaker's going up to the top rope, not sure why, and is cut off by Angle. Superplex attempted, but he's headbutted away. Taker resumes his climb, still not sure why, and is met by the sprinting belly to belly superplex! It's been a while! Taker kicks out. They exchange knees and punches and boots, Taker gets the best of it and Angle kicks out.

 

Chokeslam is signalled again, will we see one? He's up… no! Rolled through into the Anklelock! I LOVE how even if he connects with it in a bad position, he can spin and twist himself around while keeping the hold on until he's in the right spot to do it properly. 

 

When Cole said that thing about tapping out before maybe he was just referring to Undertaker. Don't know. Never mind, doesn't matter because Taker just countered into Hell's Gate again, but Angle countered THAT into the Anklelock! Taker does a rolling reversal I haven't seen before and HITS A CHOKESLAM!

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: 30 (12 to Kurt, 1 by Kurt)

 

Tazz shouts "NEW CHAMP NEW CHAMP NEW CHAMP NEW CHAMP" thereby making it the clearest thing in the multiverse that Angle's kicking out, and he does. Taker lets him get to the feet and goes for the Last Ride - he rolls through - INTO THE ANKLELOCK! IT'S BACK ON! NO ESCAPE! "TAP TAP TAP!" SPIT SPIT SPIT! Spitty Angle's worse than Sweaty Angle (which hasn't been as noticeable the past couple of months). Taker almost gets to the ropes and is pulled back… but powers out. Angle Slam!

 

Tazz shouts "ANGLE'S GOING TO MANIA ANGLE'S GOING TO MANIA" thereby making it equally clear Taker's kicking out, and he does. Cole calls this the greatest main event in SmackDown history and he's not far off.

 

Straps down! And Taker sits up at the same time! That was a phenomenal moment and another reason why this should have been on at Mania. That moment on the biggest stage would have been just on another level. It's still tremendous here though. Wow! 

 

They exchange more punches, Tombstone! Tombstone! No, Angle counters into one of his own, no, Taker's got it again, COUNTERED IN TO THE ANKLELOCK! THIS IS AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. GRAPEVINE GRAPEVINE! "No one gets out of it" says Tazz and he's right I think. Or not because Taker's been able to sit up and just BOOT Angle in the face and does get out of it. So much for that, Tazz. Angle Slam! No! Hell's Gate! If this had been at Mania this could have been a dramatic XXVII style finish.

 

Okay, now Cole and Tazz are both claiming Angle's never tapped out before. NOT TRUE. FIVE TIMES JUST ON PPV. Hand's gone down, once, twice, Angle rolls through, he's still in the hold but he's pinned him - 1, 2, 3? Taker thinks he's won… Angle is down and out in the ring. Patrick lays the title belt on Angle's chest - he did it! The ref clears the ring sharpish to get out of Undertaker's way, he's pissed off and looks down at Angle who's awake now but pretty out of it on the floor. Taker pulls him up by the hand, throws him in the corner and says "I got your number, I'm not done with you".

 

You hear that?

 

"I got your number.

 

I'm not done with you."

 

THIS WAS CRYING OUT FOR A REMATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA.

 

CRYING OUT FOR IT.

 

And what did we get instead?

 

Eurgh.

 

Sad. Very sad. But what a match.

 

What.

 

A.

 

Match.

 

My thoughts:

Outstanding. I liked that more than either of the Shawn Michaels matches for a start. Undoubtedly the best match they've had against each other, and Kurt's best one-on-one for a very long time. Since Mania XX easily. Just excellent. When I do my top 10, this will be in there for sure. Just such a waste not to have done it at WrestleMania. 

 

Angle landmarks:

Final PPV main event

First reference to Angle as a 'future Hall of Famer'

 

PPV record so far:

26 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
9 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
 
So, instead of the Undertaker rematch at WrestleMania 22, we go instead to that very short anti-climactic triple threat with Orton and Mysterio. Oh well! I don't remember loving it but maybe time will have been kind to it. I find out… tomorrow, probably!
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I wonder what would have happened if Kurt had never left WWE? 

 

Obviously in the short term he'd been moved to ECW, so there were probably more Big Show matches in the pipeline. I reckon he'd have been the choice for Vince's proxy for all the Lashley stuff in 2007. Then I'd probably think of him as the reliable semi-main eventer to give Flair a good match before Michaels at WM24, for Edge in his big 08 run, for Jeff Hardy on his way to the top. Swagger would have been put with him when he came up, for sure. And the Part Time Era would have been tailor made for Kurt. Popping back occasionally for matches with Daniel Bryan or AJ Styles, or Brock Lesnar again, or even another Undertaker match.

 

What might have been… but let's stick to what was. WrestleMania 22, Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight What Eddie Would Have Wanted Title.

 

The match:

This is the last Triple Threat match Kurt Angle will have on PPV. As we've all learned, he doesn't have the best record in these matches. I don't see it going well this time.

 

"Multi-platinum recording artist" P.O.D. are playing Rey Mysterio to the ring. He gets a good pop. Rey, not P.O.D. I'm probably going to skip through some of this.

 

There we go. Randy Orton gets his lovely Evolution 'curtain of fireworks' pyro that always looked better when all four of them were standing in front of it. Eleven years later, he's still in the World Title match at WrestleMania. Good for him. I can imagine him still being there at WrestleMania 44.

 

Champion Angle time! He gets the biggest pop of the three participants. And the biggest explosions. It's so nice that WWE will talk about him again. He should never have left. The gold medal gets a little kiss as he takes it off. Randy Orton gets in the shot of Charles Robinson holding up the title belt… but it's only so he can nick it off him and whack Kurt with it! It's before the bell so there's no DQ, which is a silly rule.

 

Never mind, the Orton-Rey bit only lasts a little while before Angle runs back in and his a German on Orton, then does a DOUBLE German on Orton AND Mysterio! Rey goes flying, and the crowd goes wild. They want Kurt to win this.

 

Angle and Orton do some stuff, and as Orton gets propped on the top rope, Rey wakes up from one of his 06 trademark rests in the corner and pushes Kurt's head into Orton's crotch. Angle throws Rey up to rana Randy, then slides him out of the ring - Rey goes flying again - to get the pin himself. The crowd is firmly in favour of Angle.

 

Rey has another rest as Angle tries for the Anklelock on Orton, but there he is! Kurt clotheslines him down and gets a two. Angle-Mysterio bit sees a sunset flip countered into a kick in the head by Rey. Simultaneous "619" and "boo" from the audience as Rey goes for it - but Angle counters it! Into the Anklelock! Grapevine! Rey taps out almost immediately - there's your valiant hero champion, folks - but the ref doesn't see it because Randy's come in with a chair for reasons unknown. Oh wait, actually, it's probably so Kurt doesn't get the win.

 

TAZZ JUST SAID SUPLEX CITY. This should have been Angle's gimmick not Brock's.

 

He said it because Orton got another two, and Rey got a standing release version and then Angle Slammed over the top rope. Orton gets put in the Anklelock - with grapevine again - and REY MYSTERIO hugs Charles Robinson so he doesn't see! Fuck's sake, THAT'S your babyface World Champion? Were they trying to do an Eddie Guerrero 'cheat to win' thing? Because it's shit when it's not Eddie Guerrero doing it. Rey cannot pull it off.

 

So yeah, Angle's won the match twice already - it's only been going a few minutes as well - and Rey's broken things up with a leg drop. The crowd's booing (because the babyface in the match is acting like a proper heel) and Tazz enables them again by saying people can boo and cheer whoever they want. He does call them weird though, so there's that.

 

Rey gets the shoulder into the ring post treatment and hits the ring steps on the way down. Clonk! The crowd laughs. Out he goes again. Fighting champion, right? Shit.

 

Angle Slam is countered into an RKO - Angle kicks out! He kicked out of the RKO! Blimey! 

 

To their credit, they seem to have learned from the Rumble and not mentioned Eddie yet. Orton went up top and hit the sprinting belly to belly superplex. Angle was suffering the after effects and Mysterio attempted to 619 round the ring post but lost his grip so had to improvise, which was a shame. Seated senton gets a two count and Orton shoves Kurt out of the ring. 

 

Orton/Rey bit while Kurt has a breather.

 

Randy's stalking Mysterio for an RKO but Kurt sneaks in with an Angle Slam. Orton kicks out - but everything's happening so fast none of these near falls are really meaning very much. There's no breathing room. Stamps and an Angry Angle "GGGGGETTTT UPPPPP AAAAAGH" to Rey, but Rey gets him out of the ring - I think he did the Angle Slam arm drag counter - and pins Orton to win the title.

 

Kurt Angle, the champion, not defeated in his last title match on PPV, and his final WrestleMania. And there's your Eddie Guerrero mention.

 

My thoughts:

1) Rushed match. So rushed! It feels like they had a whole thing planned and then told they were getting half the time they thought they would, and crammed everything in anyway. Loads of finishers that didn't mean anything. Angle and Mysterio have shown they can be magic together, but there was no magic here.

2) Rey was acting a right heel at times, and they repeated the 06 Rumble mistake of having him resting when he should have been fighting.

3) Kurt Angle was the best one in that match and deserved better. He didn't get pinned, at least, but he got real short shrift.

 

Not one you need to hurry back and watch again. The Triple Threat curse remains.

 

Angle landmarks:

Final WrestleMania

Final Triple Threat match

Final PPV title match

 

PPV record so far:

26 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
1 loss by countout
10 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
We'll be seeing Orton again soon, but there's a Mark Henry rematch to deal with first… Undertaker match aside, I can't claim to be feeling too inspired about Angle's opponents in 2006...
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Angle and Menry, Judgment Day 06.

 

The match:

Mark's got his proper music now, hurray! SOMEBODY GONNA GET THEIR QUILT FLIPPED.

 

During his entrance they show Henry destroying Angle first with a second-rope splash through a table, and then with a running splash off the apron through a table! Nice. Angle's ribs were cracked, we're told. Henry's angry because Angle cost him the World Title a couple of times. He prepares the announce table for impact before he even gets in the ring. WIGS ARE GONNA BE SPLIT.

 

Henry gets a Pre-Match Promo Bit! He hurts people. Scary looking man, Mark Henry, but in a friendly way. It's weird. He's good. But we know this.

 

Big babyface pop for Angle tonight, and he might have writing on the gumshield tonight but it's hard to tell. He gets straight into it, clobbering Henry with punches and kicking away at his knee. His ribs are all taped up. He does a second rope flip dive onto Mark! Kind of lands on his neck as well, but that's something new! It gets a two count but it puts Henry down which is the main thing. Front facelock applied, the gumshield might say "REVIEW"?

 

Henry misses a sit-down splash and Angle takes a cue from Mysterio and kicks him in the head. Ringside Brawl sees Mizark's head hit off one announce table, and Kurt's going for a German through the other one, but of course it doesn't work and they get back in the ring. Henry's Olympic background is mentioned, Angle starts working on the leg and Henry takes a cue from Undertaker to attack his face while he does.

 

This match is a lot better than the Rumble one - a lot more intensity to it.

 

Menry smacks Kurt down with a clothesline. I want to know what that gumshield says, dammit! A headbutt puts Angle down again and Henry just casually walks around him giving him an occasional stiff looking kick. Ha!

 

Angle's really selling the ribs, and Mark stands on them which isn't going to help matters. He picks Angle up and kicks him in the ribs. We haven't seen Kurt in this much trouble for a good while.

 

"REVENGE"! THAT'S what the gumshield says! Thank you, Mark Henry, for doing a Camel Clutch so I could see it properly. "REVENGE"! 

 

He releases the hold, jumps bum first onto Kurt's back to hurt him a bit more, and reapplies the hold, but Angle gets out of it, and counters the World's Strongest Slam into a LOVELY DDT! 

 

Menry's not at Hall Of Pain levels here but there's elements of it... there's something there, they just couldn't quite find it quite yet. The in-ring mouthing off, for example, that's one of the factors missing that helped make the character.

 

German Suplex! "Can you believe it?" exclaims Cole. I think we saw it at the Rumble, so yes Michael, we can. Straps down, Angle Slam, kick out. That's no finisher anymore! Angle goes running, Henry clotheslines him. Close-up on Angle's ribs which are all red and bruised and look painful.

 

World's Strongest Slam is countered again, into the Anklelock this time, and Mizark shows surprising agility by doing a rolling counter that knocks Kurt out of the ring for Ringside Brawl 2 and the table bump. Looks like it's going to be a table-to-table running splash. Angle gets up and out of the way before anything happens though. He gets squished into the ring post, Henry gets back in the ring… Angle doesn't make the 10 count and Henry wins via countout.

 

Oh.

 

Was that it?

 

Oh.

 

Is he not even getting revenge? But his gumshield… his gumshield...

 

Post-match Henry's going back after him but Angle fights back with European Uppercuts and four chair shots to the legs and back, then the Anklelock, with grapevine. Henry taps.

 

The agents and referees come out to drag Kurt away from Henry. They pin him up against the barricade but he pushes his way out and hits an Angle Slam on Henry onto the announce table. It doesn't break so Angle hits Mark across the head with an unprotected headshot and he does a wonderful face-flop onto the table which collapses under him! 

 

Watch this match just for that. It's great!

 

With an "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" and another "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" with a great low camera angle, that'll do it. Angle's looking good again and the result of the match itself is already forgotten.

 

My thoughts:

The match itself is better than the Rumble one. The finish is rubbish. The post-match is good and probably should have just been part of the actual match - they could have done a double-countout with the table spots and achieved the same thing.

 

PPV record so far:

26 wins by pinfall
17 wins by submission
1 win with ladder
1 team win (Survivor Series)
2 wins by DQ
25 losses by pinfall
5 losses by submission
1 loss by unconsciousness
3 losses by elimination (Royal Rumble)
2 team losses (Survivor Series)
2 losses by countout
10 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)
 
 
 
Two Randy Orton matches to go in the next five days - it's probably going to be one on Tuesday/Wednesday and one on Thursday - and I'll have finished this thing!
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Kurt vs Undertaker, No Way 2006.

 

I've been waiting for your review of that one since you started this thread, and you certainly didn't let me down. One of my favourite matches ever, and ths highest praise I (or anyone else, for that matter) can pay it is that it stopped me from having a wank. I watched the replay on Sky the following night and spent most of the hour before the match flickign between the PPV and whatever 'erotic' film was on Movies 24. Once that match started, I stopped switching between the two. it hooked me from the start, all the way through and add me to the people that wishes that had been the Mania 22 match instead of Taker vs Henry. Such a wasted opportunity.

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