The Kurt Angle Match Marathon

[DCW]

Jaysus, just remembered I wasted my 15th birthday present on Kurt's poxy book. I'd lap up any shite the WWF told me to do/buy back then.

 

Great reading these match recaps so far, brilliant work!

[Mr.Showtime]

Great stuff! A small note - Crash Holly wasn't really a Mattitude Follower - Shannon Moore was an MF'er, and Crash followed him, and was known as a Moore-On.

[HarmonicGenerator]

I stand corrected. I'd totally forgotten about the Moore-Ons!

 

We're off to Fully Loaded, and it's Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker. Just seen on the pre-match video that Kurt wanted to show he wasn't scared of Undertaker so he poured some stuff over his motorbike and attacked his knees with a spanner.

 

It's worth noting that (Austin in the Armageddon match aside) from this point on Kurt Angle will wrestle some combination of Undertaker, Triple H, or The Rock every month until WrestleMania X-Seven. You can extend that back to June if you include Rikishi.

 

The match:

Angle's out first - again. He hasn't been the second guy out since Survivor Series. He doesn't have his microphone with him but he has got the spanner. And he gets pyro! We have pyro, folks!

 

He's looking wary, and rightly so because Taker just biked down, dodged an attack with the - it's actually a wrench, sorry - and has thrown Kurt into the crowd.

 

This appears to be one third of the Triple Main Event shown on the screens.

 

Back at ringside, he gets clubbed into the steps (which have been put against the barriers so Taker's bike can get past - forgot they used to do that). Taker looks big.

 

Eventually the bell rings and Angle gets hit with a big boot and an elbow, 1, 2, and Taker lifts him up because he wants to do more. He lifts Kurt up, hits a stalling suplex, and does the same thing with the cover. Why pin him at all if you're not trying to keep him down?

 

Angle FINALLY gets a move in and jumps on Taker's back with a sleeper. It has no effect. Angle's stuffed back in the corner and elbowed, then clotheslined in another corner, and then hit with a sidewalk slam. This time he decides he wants to win the match, but Angle kicks out. Kurt gets summarily chucked over the top rope to the outside. Taker follows and Angle hits a sneaky shot with the wrench.

 

Back in the ring, Angle keeps trying to get to the knee but Undertaker's punches are preventing him. After a few failed attempts he manages it and locks the left leg. "Angle sucks" chant, even from the guy wearing a Kurt Angle t-shirt a couple of rows from the front.

 

They exchange punches then SMACK goes the hand around Kurt's throat for a chokeslam, but Kurt counters it back into the leg lock.

 

They haven't really moved for a minute or two. Then Kurt gets up and does the standing version. After another minute or two Taker counters it and they're both up again. Loads of punches give Taker the advantage again, and he goes again for the chokeslam… and hits it!

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: 2

 

That would have been it, we know Angle's susceptible to chokeslams, but Undertaker's not done. Kurt goes up… Kurt goes down. Last Ride. Love that move. 1, 2, 3, and Kurt remains unable to beat a former WWE Champion or anyone who's quite tall.

 

My thoughts:

That was … quite boring actually. Even if you didn't know Undertaker was going to win, you pretty much knew Undertaker was going to win, it was just a matter of how quickly.

 

Angle landmarks:

First use of pyro in his entrance

 

PPV record so far:

7 wins by pinfall

2 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

3 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

[Daaaaaad!]

Am I misremembering or was that match a total washout? I seem to remember Kurt getting his dick kicked in.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Am I misremembering or was that match a total washout? I seem to remember Kurt getting his dick kicked in.

 

You are not misremembering. Other than the leg lock, it was a total squash.

[HarmonicGenerator]

And we're back! The bloody Royal Rumble meant I got no sleep on Sunday night, so I was too tired to do an Angle match last night. But tonight, we resume. It's Summerslam 2000, we're in the midst of a love triangle, and it's Kurt vs. Triple H vs. The Rock for the WWE Championship!

 

The match:

Kurt's out first (again) and the crowd is on his feet. They've got the pyro on full for him now. Our boy is a main eventer now! Which, watching the PPVs in isolation, is a bit surprising after last month's beating from Undertaker.

 

He's on the mic first to address the situation with Stephanie, who he kissed on SmackDown (hopefully he wasn't a Trump/Jericho and got her consent first. Don't let me down, Kurt). I'm surprised they've got a reasonably lengthy mic spot at the start of the PPV main event. He's properly run down Triple H here, who I guess must have been a face for a bit in 2000 - I knew this, because I was watching at the time, but you think 'Triple H' and '2000' and you just think 'heel', don't you?

 

He's out, anyway, and for me this is the best Triple H has ever looked. He's straight into the ring, all business, and immediately starts punching away at Kurt before The Rock even gets to come out. And he's the Champion, so he wants to be careful, he could lose the belt! JR talks about Stephanie like she's a prop, talk about objectification, she's basically the equivalent of a title belt here. Once again, it doesn't sit well in 2017.

 

Earl Hebner's already bumped. They both get clotheslined out and we do the Traditional Ringside Brawl, Triple H chucks him out of the ring a second time, they've both hit the steps at this time, Rock just doesn't seem fussed, does he?

 

Oh, hang on, it's the spot that launched a thousand Do Not Try This At Home Videos… you know the ones...

 

 

My modern wrestling brain isn't great, but I tell you, I could probably recite that video by heart. That gave me more nostalgia feels than the match itself did.

 

Right, so they're up on the Spanish Announce Table, Triple H is going for a Pedigree AND IT COLLAPSES UNDER THEM FUUUUUUUCK. Nasty. Kurt looks utterly out of it, I can't tell if he's a spectacular seller or if he's concussed beyond all recognition. Horrible stuff.

 

It looked like Triple H was trying to check if Kurt was alright but can't get any sense out of him, because he effectively tags Hebner in to deal with it and goes to stall by getting out the sledgehammIF YOU SMEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

They just don't do pops like this anymore. That crowd goes INSANE for The Rock. You can see them literally jumping out of their seats. Man's amazing. It's ridiculous, the popularity. It's Rock and Triple H for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time this year but I've got goosebumps seeing them face off. Rock lays the SmackDown on Triple H - sledgehammer goes flying - hits a Samoan Drop, MASSIVE 'Rocky' chant, and they go outside, and Rock's going for another announce table bump, which is a bit silly if you ask me.

 

The EMTs are talking to Angle and there's a stretcher out there. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I'm still not 100% convinced if it's worked or not but if it is, Angle's a better actor than any of his film work would tell you. He looks completely addled.

 

Rock and Triple H are on it, though, which if you're not going to have a Triple Threat, is about as good a combination as you could want (I'll be posting in that Definitive Opponents thread once I've watched this). Kurt's on the stretcher. I guess if it's Rock vs. Triple H now I probably don't need to write much, since there's no Angle involvement. I can just enjoy it.

 

Oh wait, hang on, Triple H is going after the stretcher. Maybe it is a work? Or he's just thoroughly irresponsible. 

 

Well, if Kurt wasn't concussed before, he is now, I say half a second before JR says it, because Triple H just punched him in the head a few times. Rock heads to the aisle to resume proceedings. Rock and Angle haven't touched each other yet (save it for October, fellas).

 

Some Rock and Triple H stuff. He punched him right in the bollocks.

 

Kurt update: Stephanie McMahon has come out to seek if he's okay. There's a "slut" chant because Trump is President in 2000 as well.

 

Some more Rock and Triple H stuff.

 

Just realised this is Kurt's second stretcher job, because he got one for the Tazz match too.

 

Rock and Triple H were good together, weren't they? OMGZ YOU GUYZ TRIPLE H SAID 'BELT' I THOUGHT THAT WAZ BANNED 111 EXCLAMATION MARK.

 

She's not improved her belt shots since King Of The Ring, I can tell you that, that was just as weak as the one that hit Angle in 2000. Her aim's not got better either, she hit the wrong guy again. Watch your tapes, Triple H. 

 

More Rock and Triple H stuff. I should maybe go back up and delete that bit about Kurt being a main eventer, since he appears to have just been in the main event for Triple H to destroy for a bit at the beginning. Unless it's not a work and they've had to turn this into Rock vs. Triple H on the fly. I CAN'T TELL, DOES THIS MAKE ME A GOOD FAN OR A BAD ONE.

 

Triple H is a heel with The Rock, but a face with Angle, is that how it worked? I didn't care in 2000, they were all cool to me, even/especially Right To Censor.

 

 

Love it.

 

I'm continuing to watch the match because I think Kurt's going to come back out for the finish, but I can't actually remember.

 

Clever way to get another PPV out of HHH-Rock without making it feel all Orton-Cena, anyway.

 

BACKSTAGE!

 

Stephanie is acting. It's abominable. She's telling Kurt to go back out there "for Hunter", but actually for her. He sounds glazed. Acting? Not acting? I don't know. Stephanie's acting, though. She may be annoying these days but at least she doesn't sound like she's in a middle school panto anymore.

 

Here we are, Steph's dragging him out by the hand, he looks like he's just selling now, maybe it was all a work. Angle and Stephanie are BOTH props for Triple H! 

 

FIRST CONTACT between Angle and The Rock, he trips Rock up to allow Triple H to hit a Pedigree - but breaks up the three count by dragging out Triple H! Angle covers Rock! 1, 2, Rock kicks out! We have a Triple Threat!

 

The point being hammered home to us on commentary is that Angle cost HHH the title, but it's Angle and Rock now. Kurt hits a belly to belly on Rock and already Rock's given him more than Big Show and Undertaker put together.

 

And Triple H for that matter.

 

Rock hits a belly to belly of his own, and a DDT, Kurt kicks out. Stephanie reaction shots aren't great but my god, they're better than crowd reaction shots. Triple H knocked off the apron, Rock Bottom to Kurt, Triple H pulls Rock out of the ring!

 

Ringside photographer gets in the way of the next Stephanie reaction shot. He BARRELS the camera and gets out of the way sharpish. He was never seen again.

 

Steph's popped the sledgehammer in the ring but Angle picks it up! Stephanie stands behind Kurt in the single most contrived way possible and Triple H accidentally punches her despite the fact he was watching her get into position for a good few seconds there. Angle hits him with the sledgehammer, Rock breaks up the pin, Rock punches Kurt out of the ring, Triple H is conveniently in perfect position for the People's Elbow, which he hits, and Rock retains the title!

 

My thoughts:

Well, as far as Kurt Angle's concerned, this wasn't a match as such, more an in-ring angle. It was all about the love triangle and the title and the match and The Rock were kind of there as well. They replay the Triple H punch but no editing can hide how obvious that setup was!

 

Post-match, Angle does a Hogan At Survivor Series and carries her off while Rock celebrates. Triple H is left in the ring to do the Randy Savage, probably. Kurt's music plays us out. The New Mega Powers WILL EXPLODE at Unforgiven! 

 

Angle landmarks:

First PPV main event

First WWE Championship match

First No DQ/No Countout match

First time through the Spanish Announce Table

 

PPV record so far:

7 wins by pinfall

2 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

[air_raid]

I can tell you how best I remember that match as an excitable 18 year old. Kurt was the next big heel star in waiting and it was really pleasing that he was getting this chance so soon after "having his balls cut off" in a "pointless" defeat at Fully Loaded against "that jealous old has-been." These are the thoughts of my 18 year old self. It's kind of hard to describe to modern fans ; I wasn't exactly sick of Rock v Triple H as I am sick of Reigns v Owens today, every chance to see Rocky beat the fucker up was great, but it felt like a fresh heel would make a nice change and I very much wanted Kurt to be that change.

 

People remember WrestleMania 17 as the peak of Attitude and on the night it very much was, but it was the summer before where my excitement was peaking. It felt like change was very much afoot even in spite of the rapid changes seen even since the start of 99. All the issues seemed red hot, and there were so many questions. Would Angle, Benoit or Jericho get the real promotion first? Would Austin coming back make things better OF COURSE IT WOULD? Were we really going to start cheering for Hunter "defending his wife's honour" against that dork Angle, despite the wife being of questionable moral fiber?

 

During the match itself, it was pretty obvious Kurt was legitimately knocked out and it felt like for that reason we were denied the true eruption between Trips and Angle, but overall we still went crazy at the end out of relief that Rocky survived as the fear was that getting caught up between Hunter and Angle would cost him the belt before he finally had chance to have a decent run with it. Not that it really mattered, we were growing accustomed to rapid changes, but at the time we'd still rather have Rocky on top than anyone. Well, unless you were a workrate pervert like me. Given over-arcing choice of anyone, I'd have put it on Benoit regardless of how not ready he was or arguably ever became.

[Guest]

He's on the mic first to address the situation with Stephanie, who he kissed on SmackDown (hopefully he wasn't a Trump/Jericho and got her consent first. Don't let me down, Kurt).

Maybe skip the Booker T feud.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Back again (couldn't do last night). (Also I'm away this weekend so it's unlikely I'll get to No Mercy - or Rebellion if that came first in 2000 - until at least Sunday, but I'll try.)

 

Anyway, it's Unforgiven, and it's Kurt taking on Triple H one-on-one!

 

 

The match:

For once, Kurt's NOT the first one out! It's actually Mick Foley, who is the special guest referee for this match! If you count actual participants, it's Kurt though. It's always Kurt. 

 

He's got straps down. This is a departure. He's also got a noticeably more muted reaction compared to the last few months. You could hear a bit of booing, it was hardly 205 Live levels of apathy, but he seems a bit less hot than recently.

 

Pre-match promo so he can do a birthday chant for Stephanie McMahon. It's more of a song than a chant, to be honest, didn't even have a clap clap clap-clap-clap.

 

Triple H is out next. Stephanie looks … angry, I guess? Probably angry. Can't tell. Anyway, Triple H is all taped up because Kurt attacked him with a sledgehammer. And since Rock's not in this match I have to assume he's face here. Was this the height of soap opera in WWE?

 

Triple H sells the injury when he does his water spit because he can't lift both arms. This match is No DQ, incidentally, which makes two in a row for both men. Triple H goes for Angle straight away, misses and clutches "the vulnerable spot on his chiselled anatomy" (JR's words), also known as "the ribs" (JR straight after when he realised that last sentence was a bit lengthy).

 

Kurt's going to lose to a guy who's considerably less than 100% isn't he? 

 

Angle got a bit of the very early going but Triple H, virtually working one-armed, got the advantage and Kurt took the Michinoku Faceplant flip bump over the top rope. That's becoming a bit of a trademark.

 

Triple H is setting up the announce table in a reference to Summerslam as we get into the Traditional Ringside Brawl, and they take turns running each other into the barricade. Foley helpfully moves bit of announce table out of the way. Back in the ring, Triple H spears Kurt (it looked good) and hit him with loads of punches in the head. Angle blocks a second-rope axe handle and hits the belly to belly. Bye bye, Triple H's momentum, Kurt Angle is in control.

 

Stomps in the corner and Kurt has words with Mick. This was the sort of time where all the top guys had their own individual ways of throwing punches (meanwhile, DDT by Triple H for two), wasn't it? Triple H, Rock, Angle, Austin, Benoit (German Suplex by Angle almost gets three - Blackman still its sole victim - and Angle shoves Foley so Foley pushes him over!) they all had recognisable punches where you'd know it was them even if you didn't know it was them. I forget my point. Moving on...

 

"Nobody can execute as many suplexes as good as Kurt Angle in the business", says JR as Angle hits a back suplex. Tazz was pretty much out the door by September, wasn't he? 

 

You'd think an abdominal stretch would probably do it in this match. 

 

So far there have been rather a lot of stomps in corners.

 

Triple H hits a neckbreaker and they do a Stephanie close-up (for the first time, that I've noticed anyway). Triple H hits a high knee. Triple H hits a suplex. Triple H hits another knee. Triple H does an enormous over-the-top-rope-to-the-floor move.

 

Ringside brawl, part 2. No DQ clearly implies No Countout as well. Angle sent into the ring steps and Triple H remembers he was setting up the announce table, then forgets again and suplexes Angle on the floor instead. Then he remembers another time and KURT ANGLE IS HIT WITH A CHAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME ON PPV.

 

They're going to do the Pedigree spot on the announce table again. Silly. Angle counters with a low blow "JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY" yells JR as he HITS A BELLY TO BELLY FROM ONE ANNOUNCE TABLE TO ANOTHER. Triple H is bleeding. Brutal table bump.

 

Bleeding from the chest, it looks like, and NOW Angle is going after the ribs with shoulder charges. (Nope, sorry, he's bleeding from the mouth). Stephanie looks convincingly worried.

 

Hey, I just noticed that this match contains all three of Raw's current authority figures! Ha!

 

(Hang on, he might be bleeding from the eye? I don't know. He's bleeding.)

 

Angle's getting a lot of offence here, which makes a change from his previous encounters with former WWE Champions. 

 

Angle goes for more shoulders but Triple H dodges the last one, he tries to fight back but Angle knees him in the ribs and looks to be setting him up for a belly to belly superplex… and hits it, but didn't get all of it. 2 count.

 

THERE WE GO KURT. ABDOMINAL STRETCH! Called it. I called it.

 

It looks like a finisher, this abdominal stretch. I'd have submitted. Hand down once… twice… NO! Of course no, it never goes down three times. Triple H tries to fight back again and gets elbowed in whatever the back's equivalent of ribs are.

 

He goes for the moonsault for the first time in a few months… and misses it. We're 10 months in and he's not hit that thing yet. Facebuster by Triple H, but he can only use one arm for the Pedigree so it's not as effective as normal.

 

Stephanie comes into the ring, foreshadowing Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2002 by wearing an all-poo-coloured outfit (she looks lovely, mind). She hits a poor low blow on Angle, then Triple H hits the Pedigree properly and that does it. Angle remains unable to beat main eventers.

 

Post-match we get the resolution of the love triangle: Triple H gives her a blood-covered rage kiss (name for a metal band?) and she walks out with him. I guess that's it?

 

My thoughts:

Good back and forth match, but I have to think Kurt should have either won it quite easily, or shouldn't have gone down quite so easily. Ah well, he went toe to toe with a dominant former Champion, and he certainly doesn't feel like a mid carder anymore.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match with a guest referee

First chairshot on PPV (back)

First time putting someone through an announce table

 

PPV record so far:

7 wins by pinfall

3 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

It's worth pointing out here that (excluding the KOTR tournament) Kurt hasn't won a North American PPV match since February. That might change next time, because it's one on one with the Great One, at No Mercy!

 

[HarmonicGenerator]

Got a couple of hours spare, and what better way to spend them than posting on the UKFF about No Mercy 2000, Kurt Angle vs. The Rock?

 

 

The match:

This one's for the WWE Title. Looks like Stephanie chose Kurt after all because she's out here with him. And for the third month in a row, this is a No DQ match. Though I suppose at this time it was rare for a main event not to be No DQ.

 

This is is also a No Pre-Match Mic Bit match.

 

Rock comes out looking pretty serious. I'm looking forward to this match, I remember watching the show at the time and being shocked at the result because how could anyone beat The Rock, especially Kurt Angle, but I'm watching it with very different eyes today.

 

Big "Rocky" chants as they circle each other, and Stephanie IMMEDIATELY distracts Rock so Kurt can smack him about and throws him outside for the Traditional Ringside Brawl. Chairshot to The Rock! I believe that is the first time Angle's ever hit anyone with a chair.

 

Rock's recovered, though, and back in the ring hits a clothesline and a Samoan Drop (Kurt goes "waaaaah!" as he goes up in the air which is fun). Triple H is watching backstage.

 

Kurt wanders up the aisle for some reason so Rock sprints after him and clotheslines hi, and they brawl in the tech area and then Angle gets thrown through the corrugated cardboard set a few times.

 

(Stephanie is Kurt's "business partner", but she's still with Triple H, apparently.)

 

Kurt manages to even things out again by throwing Rock into some lights and elbowing him in the back of the head a few times.

 

There's a life-size card Rock cutout being held by a fan, Rock grabs it and puts it in front of Angle, then hits it. Ha!

 

I've never been a huge fan of outside brawl type matches. They just don't really grab me. That's probably one reason why I was never a big Austin fan.

 

Anyway, Stephanie's helped out a bit again and Kurt's in control. Did Triple H have to spend this entire match watching a TV and looking angry just in case they cut back to him?

 

Rock crotches Angle on the bottom of the ring post and cracks him in the ankle with a chair a couple of times. Dragon Screw into the Sharpshooter. Very sensible, Rock. Angle's tapping, but just like with Jericho, Stephanie's interference means Hebner doesn't see it. Why he's bothered about her when it's a No DQ match and anyone can do whatever they want, I don't know. Watching these matches back he's not the best ref. Seems to enjoy getting involved by shouting at the participants. It's a style, I suppose.

 

Rock chased Steph around the ring and Angle caught him with the belly to belly. "Angle sucks" chant. Rock comeback caught off, and they're cutting to Stephanie at ringside A LOT. It remains less annoying than modern crowd shots.

 

Rock's in a chinlock now and I'm going to have a bit of my cup of tea before he fights back.

 

Pretty much the entire rest hold they were talking about Stephanie. Rock fought back and he's just chucked Angle over the top (no Michinoku bump this month). Traditional Ringside Brawl Part 2. Rock has certainly given Angle more than Big Show or Undertaker did, arguably Triple H as well. He feels like a bonafide top guy here. 

 

Angle into the steps, then headfirst six times into the announce table, then some water spat in his face. Rock gets a head into the announce table and a ring post in return. Hebner's telling him off because he's fucking irritating me. Stephanie's sneaking around with the title belt; why this is necessary in a No DQ match I couldn't tell you. Hebner's trying to give an extended dry hump to Stephanie. Angle hits Rock with the belt, so very sneaky in this match where that's perfectly legal, and gets two.

 

He goes up top, gets crotched, and hits a lovely superplex. Angle bleeding from the left eye. Looks like Rock's also busted open. German Suplex by Angle and Rock does a beautiful bounce after he hits. Angle's going up for the moonsault, bet he misses, yep. "What did you do that for?" pleads Jerry Lawler. I agree - it's been nearly a year, give the fucking flip up, Kurt, it's never going to connect.

 

Another Rock comeback culminates in a floatover DDT and a two. Kurt pulls a trick out of The Showster's playbook and rakes the eyes but is hit with a gorgeous belly to belly that sends him flying across the ring. Spinebuster, Rock's going for the People's Elbow, Steph gets involved and is hit with a Rock Bottom for her trouble. You'd assume Triple H won't be happy. Rock goes for the Elbow on Stephanie but Angle cuts him off.

 

Yes, there's Triple H - and he's going for Angle! He Pedigrees The Rock! I don't bloody blame him! He lovingly and adoringly drags Stephanie across the ring by the wrist then picks her up so her arse is facing the camera to carry her away.

 

Angle sneaks in, covers Rock, near fall. "Rocky" chant again. He hits another DDT for a near fall. Ringside Brawl Part 3 is brief, but Angle keeps rolling out of the ring to get away from The Rock.

 

Fucking hell, it's Rikishi! A thousand bandages on his head, covered in blood because Stone Cold in his 2000 Ultra Twat phase did something horrific to him earlier in the show (can't remember what but he probably tried to murder him because it's Austin in 2000). He's doing it for The Rock. Angle kicks out of a Rock Bottom. Rikishi accidentally hits Rock with his bum and then again with a kick. Angle hits the Olympic Slam on both of them - Rock takes it better - gets the THREE, AND KURT ANGLE IS THE WWE CHAMPION!

 

"HE'S DONE IT, JR!"

 

"Thanks to Rikishi!" Well, not really, JR, the Olympic Slam probably did most of the job.

 

We get the over the top Tears Of Joy celebration as he hugs and cherishes his new title! You can see snots up his nose.

 

My thoughts:

Really good match. Felt like a big deal. Some baffling stuff regarding the No DQ rule, and Hebner's annoying, but if you haven't watched it in ages, I recommend giving it a go, it's good stuff.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match with a manager

First chairshot to someone else (back)

First chairshot (lower body)

First blood!

First WWE Championship win

First main event win

First 'Tears of Joy' celebration

 

PPV record so far:

8 wins by pinfall

3 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

[HarmonicGenerator]

I'm going to power through a double today and do Survivor Series against The Undertaker as well. I'm kind of not looking forward to this one because of how Fully Loaded went. I vaguely remember this match as well, which could be part of it.

 

The match:

This one marks one year of Kurt Angle in WWE, and TEN YEARS of The Undertaker. Which felt like FOREVER at the time. TEN YEARS he'd been around. A DECADE. That is SO long.

 

Randy Orton's coming up on fifteen years, for comparison's sake. 

 

Despite being the WWE Champion, Angle STILL comes out first. I swear, when he gets to be the final person who makes his entrance in a match it's going in the 'landmarks' list.

 

He's come a long way since Shawn Stasiak. He's not as worried as he was in July, either. The Pre-Match Mic Bit is back. He's asking us to reflect on our favourite Kurt Angle moments from the past year. He would have asked for people's votes but since they're in Florida, topical election reference, it was a simpler time, it was a better time. Kurt still got invited to the Inauguration of Dubya though.

 

He mentions:

 

 - the undefeated streak

 - the European Title

 

But then Undertaker's 2002 music hits because is the Network and we don't get Limp Bizkit. Or Kid Rock if he still had that song at that point. It was around nowish that we started Rollin Rollin Rollin Rollin WHAT. I could still tell you most of the lyrics to that song and it's all down to Undertaker and his kickass big leather coat and motorbike and awful snakeskin trousers. At the time I'd have been happy for Taker to take the title, didn't think I'd still feel that way this time but I kind of do.

 

 

Those trousers are dreadful.

 

Kurt doesn't want to get in the ring, Taker doesn't want to take his jacket off. Which will happen first?

 

Taker goes to get a chair. I like the Survivor Series logo from this time. Angle got in the ring before the jacket came off. Taker throws Angle the chair because that's the only way this match is fair. Kurt understandably uses it against him, Hebner doesn't care because it's before the bell rang, and yet 30 seconds later is yelling at him for using a closed fist. Fucking Hebner, I don't like him.

 

Taker throws a load of punches back, and those trousers are aggressively distracting. He hit a leg drop and did the "lifting him up on 2" thing from Fully Loaded again in the pinfall. He just did it another time. Fuck's sake Taker, you're not helping me out here. Old School connects.

 

"Oh my, what a sight" cries JR. "That is a scary sight", agrees Lawler. They're talking about Taker walking the ropes but I'm pretending it's about the trousers.

 

Angle's trying to run away, and it sounds like the crying thing is officially part of the gimmick now, and he's being roundly mocked for it. These days he'd have got a "you deserve it" chant. Bloody 2017.

 

Kurt hits a German Suplex that Taker takes really well, then gets sent outside. Angle dives off the apron! But Taker catches him and runs him into the ring post a couple of times. That's all the brawling we're getting outside as they go back and forth corner to corner. Angle's trying to kick those horrible trousers right off Undertaker's legs. Now he's got him wrapped up in the corner, and JR claims he's working on the knee but it really does look like he's trying to pull the snakeskins clean orff.

 

Taker has an armbar locked in! Edge and Christian run-in! For the third time, Angle taps and nobody sees it. Because EARL HEBNER IS FUCKING RUBBISH.

 

The interference has had some effect and Angle goes back to the Fully Loaded playbook with the leg lock. "Angle sucks" chant. He's had a lot more offence than in July, that's for sure.

 

While they're doing the leg lock, I haven't mentioned Kurt's outfits for a while. Tonight's is red with stars on the sides. Undertaker's incapacitated Angle and clobbers E&C until Hebner makes them go away. Angle tries for a weapon shot and gets chokeslammed for his trouble.

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: 3

 

The World's Worst Referee Earl Hebner takes forever getting back to the ring and it's only a two. They're exchanging two-counts at the moment. Figure Four Leglock applied! It's not quite the Anklelock but I'd consider this a seed planted in the ground for a leg based submission move. The move's reversed and Kurt reaches the ropes.

 

Lovely sidewalk slam flipped into a Running Powerslam from Undertaker. I like how Angle wriggles his legs before being hit with moves like that, shows how he's trying to escape right until the last moment.

 

RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR! RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR! 

 

Hebner's applying a five count but if Kurt's outside the ring… does that apply? I don't know.

 

This is a LOT better than the Fully Loaded match. 

 

Angle hits a low blow right in front of Hebner's eyes because he was clearly in the wrong position, but Taker recovers enough to try for the Tombstone. Angle makes it over the apron to escape but gets punched to the floor. He's going to hide under the ring. Taker grabs a leg, and heeeeeeeeeeere's Eric!

 

My goodness, the planning that must have taken place for this plot to have worked. Can you imagine them thinking it up at their house?

 

"Right, Eric, so I've got a title match against Undertaker coming up."

 

"Oh wow Kurt, he destroyed you in the summer, you've got no chance."

 

"I know mate, I know. So I need your help"

 

"Run-in? I can do a run-in for you bro"

 

"Nah nah nah. What we're gonna do is, dress you up in my red outfit with the stars on…"

 

"Okay sure"

 

"We'll sneak you into the arena before the show starts..."

 

"I like it"

 

"Hide you under the ring until my match starts…"

 

"Hang on"

 

"But don't interfere on my behalf or anything, okay?"

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"Okay, so -"

 

"So this is presuming you haven't already lost or been disqualified or won or anything, right?"

 

"Exactly. So when I climb under the ring, I need you to swap places with me..."

 

"I don't like this Kurt"

 

"Undertaker will head to where I crawled under to drag me back out…"

 

"How do you know he'll do that?"

 

"He just will, honestly Eric, shut up. So he'll try and drag me out but make sure it's you"

 

"But how do I do that, isn't he just going to grab the first person he sees?"

 

"Nah nah nah, you'll know exactly where I'll crawl under so just be there. Anyway, let him hit you with his finisher…"

 

"WHAT? That looks painful, I'm not doing that"

 

"It's fine, honestly, doesn't hurt that much. So you let him do that, then let him pin you…"

 

"Do I kick out?"

 

"You'll not be able to mate, it's gonna knock you out probably, I mean, you're not a Professionally Trained Athlete like us WWE Superstars are -"

 

"But you said -"

 

"SO ANYWAY ERIC, let him pin you…"

 

"Nah nah nah, this isn't going to work. I look nothing like you, Undertaker's going to notice I'm not you"

 

"He won't mate"

 

"How do you know?"

 

"He just won't, okay?"

 

"Okay fine, but the referee will -"

 

"Nah mate, I've got Hebner refereeing"

 

"That twat? No chance he'll spot something's up"

 

"Haha, yeah. At least until he's done the three count and Undertaker THINKS he's won. THEN Hebner will notice"

 

"Because he's an idiot?"

 

"Yeah basically"

 

"Bloody lucky you've not got Chioda or Korderas or Tim White or someone competent, isn't it?"

 

"I know!"

 

"Just one question, why won't this disqualify you again? I mean, I'm blatantly interfering on your behalf"

 

"IT JUST WON'T ERIC."

 

"But why?"

 

"Shut up Eric. So anyway, once they're both confused about what's going on, I sneak in from the other side of the ring, do a Roll Up, and Hebner will count 3 -"

 

"Because he's an idiot -"

 

"Yeah, because he's an idiot, and I'll have retained the title fair and square. Easy!"

 

Anyway, Taker hit the Last Ride, Hebner counts 3 because he's an idiot, THEN realises that's not Kurt Angle, Kurt sneaks in, does a Roll Up, Hebner counts 3 because that apparently doesn't count as breaking the rules, and Angle retains the title!

 

We get a little post-match video of Angle running for his car and driving away despite not having the WWE Title belt or, presumably his car keys, though I suppose he might have stashed them under the ring with Eric and then stuffed them in his singlet for the getaway.

 

My thoughts:

Nonsense ending, but a much better match up to that point than their first encounter. He's still not pinned a top guy clean, though.

 

Angle landmarks

First title defence (WWE Championship)

First dive

First successful PPV title defence (any title)

First successful WWE Championship defence

 

PPV record so far:

9 wins by pinfall

3 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

 

I'm one year in! Woo! Next up, the first meeting between Kurt and Stone Cold at Rebellion...

[wandshogun09]

Enjoying reading these HG. But can't believe you neglected to mention this from No Mercy...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=AOVuoomlhZU

 

"We all know what flies are attracted to."

[air_raid]

Agree with you on multiple points, Gen. Even at the time, I hated Hebner. In general at the time the all-encompassing "everyone's a star" thing where non-wrestlers got so involved was really irritating to me and Hebner was one of the worst. His level of involvement in Jericho's phantom title win and the importance placed on him at Backlash.... just fuck off. He's retconned as the best ref character but I thought he detracted from what the wrestlers were doing.

 

Hated the finish too. "Jealous old bastard couldn't bring himself to lose properly, he's made Kurt look a jammy little chump." God, what a smark I was.

 

Enjoying reading these HG. But can't believe you neglected to mention this from No Mercy

Amazing. Kurt was hilarious. With bants like this, he'd get mad mutant popular heel pops these days.

[HarmonicGenerator]

wand - great as it is, I'm only watching the matches, so didn't include it!

 

 

Let's go to Sheffield, to Rebellion as we start building up to ARMAGEDDON. It's a Fatal Four Way match, Kurt Angle vs. The Rock vs. Stone Cold vs. Rikishi!

 

The match:

Bloody hell, Tazz is on commentary. I didn't think he started on that until his neck injury in 2002. 

 

AND ANGLE IS NOT OUT FIRST. He's a bad man, it's Rikishi!

 

This is another No DQ, No Countout match. I'd talk a bit more about the buildup to Hell In A Cell, but that's to come.

 

Anyway, so Angle's beaten two of these three already, and he's never faced Austin on PPV before.

 

The WWE Champion is out second. Well, he's working his way up. To be fair, even as Champion he's clearly the third biggest star in the match.

 

Sheffield goes predictably mental for The Rock. Can you imagine The Rock turning up on a UK show these days. I know he can go on a bit in his mic segments these days but I just love those pops.

 

Fuck it, I know I was going to mention this next but I love the way all these guys' feuds intertwined leading up to the Cell match.

 

Austin's got his Disturbed music.

 

STA PA IT'S JUST A MAN NITTIN NITTIN NA DOO YOU DOH BELIEVE BABA BETTI DA DO WELL

 

Sorry, anyway, Austin and Rock have gone right for Angle and Rock respectively. Guess attempting to murder Triple H at Survivor Series has mellowed Austin on Rikishi somewhat. It's been non-stop so far, Angle's already been hit with a spinebuster and a suplex while Rock and Rikishi brawled outside. Now Rikishi and Austin are brawling outside while Rock hit Angle with a Samoan Drop, Angle fights back but gets sent outside, now Rock and Austin take turns smacking Rikishi about and I can have a rest with Angle.

 

He's not having a rest! He's buggering off so Rock can do his 'run up the ramp and elbow him' move again! 

 

Two things about this:

 

1) Did Kurt not learn from the last time he had a match with The Rock

2) Isn't this one of those matches where he doesn't have to be pinned or submitted to lose the title? That's frankly idiotic if he wanders off, he's guaranteeing he'll lose the belt!

 

Austin and Rikishi bit while Rock brings Angle back. They're probably doing the Traditional Outside Brawl, but Angle's back in the ring and into a Thesz Press. Kurt's not got a move in against Austin yet. They pop outside for a Rock/Rikishi bit.

 

I tell you what, for a man as messed up with injuries as Austin probably was at this point, he's going at some pace. Angle's being smacked about by the announce table, you can just see them in the background while Rikishi teases the Stink Face on Rock.

 

Yeah, they're brawling outside (Rock's doing the People's Elbow in the foreground) but Kurt breaks up the pin on Rikishi, goes for one himself and Austin breaks that up. We're back to Angle/Rock and Austin/Rikishi. No Rock vs. Austin interaction at this stage and you have to imagine that's deliberate.

 

Angle and Rikishi are up, Austin and Rock fight back. OH HANG ON. Now they're alone in the ring. You can HEAR the crowd, you can see them stand up. They tease it… they stall… THEY GO FOR IT! Rock's got more crowd support by the sounds of it, STUNNER! STUNNER! I know this isn't an Angle bit but it's too good not to mention. They do the multiple pin break up bit again.

 

Austin's got them all down now but it's Angle he targets (thinking ahead, I think they run into each other every month from Invasion through to the 2002 Rumble, except maybe 2001's Rebellion). Mudhole stomped, but Rock's waiting, ROCK BOTTOM, these guys just KNOW exactly when their signature moves are going to have the most impact.

 

Rikishi's pulled Hebner out of the ring so he's going to spend an hour or two out there telling him off while Angle hit the Olympic Slam on Rock, so he only got 2. Austin rolled Angle up for 2, then E&C have popped out for a run-in. Noggin knocker from Austin while Kurt and I have another little rest (Rock Bottom on Rikishi).

 

Austin and Rikishi bit, the Radicalz just turned up to help Rikishi?! Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn just broke up an Austin pin on Rikishi after a Stunner… Angle sneaks in, will Rikishi take the fall? Yes of course he will. Angle retains! It's about as clean a win as we can hope for - take out the two guys better than you and pin the one you're better than.

 

Malenko and You-Know-Who are out as well now, I'll see quite enough of him in 2001 so I'll stop this one here.

 

My thoughts:

If you've not seen this match, or you don't remember it, my goodness, watch this match! It's an extremely pleasant surprise, it's a great Fatal Four Way. If it hadn't been a UK show and therefore had a foregone conclusion as its result it'd be even better, but even with that, excellent stuff. Recommended!

 

Angle landmarks:

First Fatal Four Way

First time vs Steve Austin (perennial opponent)

First match called by anyone other than JR and King

First time his entrance isn't first!

 

PPV record so far:

10 wins by pinfall

3 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

[HarmonicGenerator]

I can't wait any longer. I'm watching the Armageddon Hell In A Cell match tonight!

 

A note just before this starts. Even now this still feels to me like one of the biggest matches there's ever been. I remember when it all got to this point. Austin and Triple H wanted to kill each other, Austin and Rikishi wanted to kill each other, Rikishi and The Rock had had a major falling out, The Rock and Austin were The Rock and Austin, The Rock and Triple H kind of never stopped fighting each other, The Undertaker wanted a piece of everybody and everybody wanted a piece of Kurt Angle. The six biggest stars in WWE (you can argue against Rikishi but he was positioned at the top at the time so go with it)  IN ONE MASSIVE KILLER MATCH.

 

It all looped and laced and knotted itself around until there was no other solution. HELL. IN. A. CELL. Back when those four words were enough to make you gasp, sit up and go "oh WHAT!" The biggest, most dangerous match they could do. WITH SIX GUYS IN IT. FOR THE TITLE. It's one of those 'if you weren't watching at the time' moments, but for me who'd become a full-fledged fan for the first time in 2000 (not counting the Warrior Colouring Book era) this was just the biggest thing that could ever happen and it killed me we didn't have Sky Sports so I could see it.

 

I said I was only going to watch the matches, I know, but watch the opening video and tell me you don't still get hyped for this match. I can't find the actual version on YouTube but just stick the show on the Network, it's right at the start. Goosebumps. 

 

THE END IS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The match:

The Cell got its own music on this show. JR has a feeling of dread. You can only win in the ring.

 

Triple H is out first. My goodness they will NEVER have a match again that could recapture the feeling this match gives me. Can you imagine if they had a full time equivalent of The Rock AND Stone Cold AND Undertaker AND Triple H AND Kurt Angle (sorry Rikishi) today?! It's inconceivable.

 

They've got every referee out there. This just feels so huge. Triple H was in the last Hell in a Cell match where he retired Mick Foley. Stephanie's worried about him. "This match WILL have casualties", says JR. Oh FOR A TIME when Cell matches didn't just happen because it was October or Shane McMahon fancied a jump.

 

Rikishi next - the only man of the six who's never (nor would ever) be WWE Champion. The WWE Championship, which was a big deal. Bet it's the opener at Mania this year.

 

Kurt Angle out third. He's getting there! He looks afraid. He looks like he's shitting it, quite frankly.

 

Oh FOR A TIME when every fucker hadn't done a Cell match. At this point only Triple H and Undertaker had done it out of the six.

 

YES! YES! YES! LIMP BIZKIT! 

 

I can't believe I just wrote that.

 

BUT I CAN'T HELP IT BECAUSE KEEP IT ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN THE NETWORK HAS THE LIMP BIZKIT MUSIC! Come on Undertaker! He's the man who knows the Cell best. There's like eight referees keeping the guys apart. Angle's cowering in the corner and I do not blame him. They're just teasing us before this match starts, the tension and the anticipation is tangible. What a match!

 

The Rock gets his usual massive pop and he's got no fear. "Kurt Angle has the most to lose", says Lawler. Everyone has their career and their health on the line, but only Angle has the title. HOW DID THEY GET THIS SO RIGHT.

 

Austin out last STA PA AH JASA MANAPATAPATA KEE

 

Austin's going nuts on the whole lot of them straight away, Angle then Triple H and they are going at it! Undertaker and Angle now, Rock and Rikishi, everyone's brawling outside, I would NOT want to be the ringside photographer or the cameraman here. Angle and Undertaker in the ring, Angle smacked into the turnbuckle and clotheslined.

 

Elbow to Angle on what was, I assume, still the hardest part of the ring back then but they never seem to need to mention it in 2000. Rock and Rikishi now in the ring, Angle and Taker doing the ringside brawl, Austin and Triple H haven't even got in the ring yet. Angle's got Taker down. 

 

Hang on, face buster from Triple H because they're in the ring now, Thesz Press, there was of course also the story that Vince didn't WANT all his top stars in a Cell match because what if it half-kills every one of them and he loses all his money! MOTIVATIONS!

 

Angle's brawling with Rock now, they're back in the ring too and Angle has the upper hand. I'll never keep up with all this so just watch the match, okay? Watch the match. He's choking Rock now, he did that at Rebellion as well. "Ah SHIT" says Austin as Triple H hits his leg on the ring post. Samoan Drop to Kurt from Angle, two count! Taker drags him out of the ring, then puts him back in. Alright. Then out again. Okay.

 

Austin suplexed on the floor. Someone's already bleeding, says Lawler. Rocky's the only guy who's had a chant so far. I would like to note that this is awesome, and I'm sure - baseball slide by Angle on Rikishi - every person in the crowd thought this was awesome BUT NO FUCKER FELT THE NEED TO CHANT IT AND GO CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP BECAUSE THEY WERE INTO THE MATCH AND NOT INTO WHATEVER FUCKASS CHANT THEY WERE PLANNING NEXT FUCK YOU 2017.

 

Cheesegrater for Triple H by Austin (that's not the name of the move but I can't be the only one who grates cheese like they're dragging someone's face across the mesh of the Cell. Right? Right?) We haven't seen Angle in a while - Triple H is cut - but he's still with Rock somewhere by the process of elimination. Crimson mask for Triple H. Hebner tells Austin off for doing that to Triple H so Austin gives him the finger and keeps doing it, which is officially the best thing Stone Cold has ever done or will do. Screw you Hebner clap clap clapclapclap.

 

Oh! There they are! Just spotted Angle and Rock at ringside. It's all Austin, Triple H and Rikishi at the moment. Pedigree to Rikishi right after he hugged Triple H, what a bastard! Fair enough though, Rikishi's a bad man, he'll understand. Triple H and Rock now, but Angle pops back in to great in a pin. SmackDown laid on Kurt, OLYMPIC SLAM! That stretched out arm from Rock when he's hit STUNNER TO ANGLE BROKEN UP CHOKESLAM FOR AUSTIN

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: 4

 

Where was I? Rock's Olympic Slam sell - that stretched out arm he does as he hits the mat is superb, a beautiful use of body language to show the pain shooting through his body, a kind of "fuck oooow someone help me goddamn" gesture. You'd get that idea from anywhere in the crowd. Stupid modern wrestlers doing the Ziggler corpse sell for everything. 

 

Austin and Rikishi bit now, Kurt's having a rest in the corner, and out comes the sawdust truck to rip the door off. Good way to give the guys in the match a bit of a downtime period, they shouldn't have to do all that much while the crowd's attention's on this. Novel.

 

And now Mick Foley out. They're just piling the big names in here! You can see how they might have got to Foley vs Vince for Mania X-Seven here. I'm sure I read that was the plan at one point, wasn't it? I really liked the Shane match but you have to wonder what might have been.

 

Kurt's disappeared again. 

 

Triple H is crawling up the aisle, you've got to wonder if he accidentally bled on any of the fans in the front row. Austin aisle way brawl, time for a rest again. Back when Kurt's on.

 

There he is, brawling with Rock and Rikishi in the aisle too. Undertaker's somewhere too. They're all fighting on the cars and the camera can't keep up with everything going on. Austin bleeding too now because he went through a window on the truck. Angle might have gone through a car window himself because he's hanging half out of one. Austin gets a rest and we're back to Rock vs. Triple H. Taker's focusing on Kurt, says JR, but they're not the story here. Hebner's such a shit ref PEDIGREE ON TOP OF A CAR.

 

Angle meanwhile, being pummelled by Undertaker. This is ridiculous. These days - Rock bleeding too - these days they'd have all kicked out of each other's finishers 20 times at this point. I don't mean to be - ANGLE BODYSLAMMED ON A BONNET - so negative about today's product because by certain standards today's guys could put on a 'better' match but it's the intangibles of this one that make it so good. I know it's unreplicatable, I know (I also know that's not a word) but I wish they could anyway.

 

Triple H has taken some punishment in this one, mind. Angle looked to be heading back to the ring. Yes, he and Taker are at the timekeeper's table and Taker's choking him with a cable. No suspension for that back then! Announce table top is off, Angle chairshot to Taker's head! There's a lady cowering behind the guy next to her in the front row. Triple H and Austin are climbing the Cell. Undertaker bleeding as well now and Angle's thrown into the crowd. There's no lying around waiting for your spot here, the production crew must have had a nightmare trying to figure out which pair to focus on at any time, Austin and Triple H brawling on top of the Cell which is a ridiculous and incredible visual AND ANGLE'S ON THE TOP AS WELL STUNNER TO TRIPLE H ON THE TOP UNDERTAKER'S ON THE TOP TOO HOW DID THIS END WELL FOR ANY OF THEM, AUSTIN AND ANGLE calm down, I tell myself, calm down, breathe. Ah.

 

Sorry.

 

Angle bleeding now as well. That's everyone except Rikishi I think. Taker's taken control of Angle on top of the Cell now, Austin and Triple H have gone down, but now Rikishi and Rock are heading up! Taker's trying to get a chair thrown up to him, the guy can't quite manage it the first few times, but the timekeeper gets a big cheer when he does do it. Angle gets whacked with the chair to the head before Rikishi goes nuts with it on him and Taker both.

 

Angle heads down to safety so Rikishi and Taker can do the big bump. You know, people rip on this one and yeah, it's not Foley in 1998 but it's nuts regardless and I think it's a fine bump. Especially to go down back first like that. 

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: technically 5, but I should only really count ones involving Angle, so 4.

 

And now we get Rock and Austin brawling again! AAAAAAH! Crowd going crazy! Stunner reversed, Spinebuster! Triple H breaks up the People's Elbow attempt. Kurt was in the ring before but he's disappeared again.

 

A little while later he heads back into the ring, straight into a Rock Bottom which Austin broke up. There is blood ALL OVER Angle. Lawler's in distress.

 

Stunner to Rock! Triple H stops him pinning, Angle gets a hand over The Rock, 1, 2, 3, ANGLE RETAINS! ANGLE RETAINS! It's not a clean win by any means but he's proved he belongs at the very top just by being in this match. 

 

Wow. I could watch that again.

 

And of course Austin steals the limelight by Stunning Angle and have his music playing at the end. IT'S HOGAN AT WRESTLEMANIA 5/6/9 ALL OVER AGAIN. Booooooo 2000 Twat Austin.

 

My thoughts:

Yeah, s'alright, this one.

 

Angle landmarks:

First Hell In A Cell match

First Stunner taken

First chairshot (head)

First 'crimson mask'

 

PPV record so far:

11 wins by pinfall

3 losses by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

4 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

And that's 2000 done! Tomorrow, 2001 begins...