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The Kurt Angle Match Marathon


HarmonicGenerator

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Looking forward to the review of the Armageddon 6 man hell in a cell. It's in my top ten favourite matches and I've fawned about it before on here so looking forward to your spin on it HarmGen.

I loved that match. Not especially because of Angle but the sight of bloody Rock and Austin turning to face each other and the place going mental. The very definition of something legitimately being big deal, in stark contrast to the number of times they've tried to revisit Cena v Orton and present it as the same level of epic.

 

 

Agree with that, the highlights don't always necessary feature Angle but he plays his part nicely. It was the sort of match that was getting fantasy booked at break time at school and for it to happen was insane, for the match to be as fun and chaotically enjoyable as it is made it even better. Agree with Onyx about the finish though. That ending shocked 15 year old me, I never saw it coming but it's probably what cemented Angle as a big deal to me.

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I'm looking forward to when I get to the Cell match as well. I can't forget how huge a deal it felt at a time. Austin! And Rock! AND Triple H! AND Undertaker! For the title! IN HELL IN A CELL! It was the biggest possible match there could possibly ever be. I don't think they'll ever be able to make a match feel as special as that one in quite the same way again.

 

But that's for later. For now, there's No Way Out for Kurt Angle, because he's facing Chris Jericho at… well, at No Way Out.

 

 

The match:

Kurt's in the opener again! He's got the Three Is in his entrance video now. And the European Title! He's a champ! And he's got a mic in his hand again. And there's the full arm spin in the entrance. Lots of boos.

 

Oh wait, the European title's not on the line. Oh, but Jericho's Intercontinental Title is! 

 

They appear to have dropped the long Finkel intro for Kurt. And now Chyna's music is playing for some reason. She's got her rocket launcher, and she's going to be in Jericho's corner because the Chyna/Jericho thing was apparently still going on in February of 2000?! They're friends now?! KABOOM! Big reaction for Jericho and out he comes with his massive sideburns.

 

You can tell we're in Attitude because everybody's got to have their catchphrases before they start a match. Jericho's making fun of the Three Is, and is also trying out "bad mamma jamma" at the moment.

 

Headlock by Angle to start off, they run the ropes, do some counters, Angle hits Jericho in the face and Jericho hits back. Fast and furious in the early going, Jericho chops Kurt a few times and Angle drops him into the ropes, but Jericho flings him over the top and Angle almost does a Michinoku as he flips all the way over. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick and for the third month in a row, a Kurt Angle match has descended into brawling on the outside! They both hit the ring post, Jericho's run towards the steps but jumps and hits a moonsault off them! Only his feet connect with Angle, but still a cool move.

 

Back in the ring, Jericho gets crotched on the top rope and Angle takes a leaf out of Tazz's book and hits a belly to belly superplex. He's now working on the arm that Y2J hit off the post earlier. A suplex for two, and Angle locks in a hold - possibly the first submission we've seen him do, actually. If you can count a rest hold as a submission.

 

Double Arm Backbreaker by Jericho hands him back the advantage but then Angle hits the German Suplex and gives it a "woo!" Yeah, that's not a finisher anymore, clear kick out there and nobody was expecting it to be the end. The hold's been reattached now. Just noticed a "bad mamma jamma" sign in the crowd. Maybe it was more successful than I thought.

 

A bit of a recurring theme with Kurt at the moment is when he's hit a few moves but the opponent's still fighting back, that's when he resorts to punches and strikes. Could be intentional, might not be, but it's something I'm picking up on four matches in.

 

Jericho gets a near fall with a bulldog and a forearm. Angle tries for a hurricanrana, gets dumped down nastily with a powerbomb, Jericho deadlifts him and hits another, goes for a cover and Angle reverses into an arm bar! Now that's definitively a submission move!

 

Kurt does the Bret Hart chest-first turnbuckle move, but then hits what JR calls the Olympic Slam, and Jericho kicks out! That didn't look like the Olympic Slam to me, so I'm going to rewind and watch this bit again.

 

On a rewatch, he didn't get all of it, but yes, that was the Olympic Slam, which, hey! It's got a name now!

 

Anyway, Kurt got frustrated and went to grab the IC title belt, but Jericho gets him into the Walls of Jericho! Chyna's done nothing on the outside, incidentally. Angle gets to the ropes. They're back to brawling on the outside. Angle's going to get the European belt now, and I must have known Chyna was about to get involved because she just got involved, in a convoluted spot that sent her into the steps. Tim White's so busy checking on her that he doesn't see Angle whack Jericho with a title belt (I didn't spot which one) when Jericho hits the Lionsault. He covers him… 1, 2, 3!

 

NEW EUROCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! 

 

A feat that, to this day, only Angle and future Hall Of Famer (we can but hope) D'Lo Brown have accomplished. You better recognise.

 

Oh, hang on, Earl Hebner's out to argue with Tim White about the finish, but that's clearly not going anywhere because we cut to a Dudleys promo.

 

My thoughts:

Good match! Wrestled at a pace that wouldn't be out of place in today's much more ring-focused product, that could have easily main evented Raw this week. 

 

Angle landmarks:

First PPV match as European champion

First PPV title match (Intercontinental)

First use of submission moves

First namecheck of Olympic Slam

First kick out of Olympic Slam (didn't take long for it to not be a finisher, did it!)

First PPV title win (Intercontinental)

First win by cheating

 

PPV record so far:

3 wins by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

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You're very kind, Raid!

 

 

I realised today that if I carry on at the rate of one match per day I'm unlikely to get all the way to the end before the HOF ceremony, so on days when the match I watch doesn't go long, I'll probably double up and do another the same day. 

 

No need for that today, however, because the follow contest is scheduled for TWO FALLS! It's WrestleMania, and it's Angle vs Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit.

 

(With this being two falls it has the potential to muck up my win-loss record, so I'm going to count each fall as a victory or loss in its own right. This goes for any other multi-fall matches I come across too.)

 

(Oh, and I think this match was my pick for WM2000 when I did a 'Mania match a day. I won't be lazy and C&P, but I will be lazy enough to write 'C&P'.)

 

The match:

Okay, first fall is IC title, second fall is European. WrestleMania feels weird in a non-stadium.

 

Jericho's out first. He's moved on from being a bad mamma jamma, and now he's the Ayatollah of Rock n' Rollah. "And here comes the double murderer", says JR as Chris Benoit's music hits. Oh no, wait, sorry, he said "crippler". And finally, it's the Eurocontinental Champion, Kurt Angle! 

 

He's wearing both belts around his waist. And gets possibly the biggest reaction of the three. He doesn't even get a chance to take all his gold off before Benoit attacks him, and the Chrises start on Kurt before turning on each other. Angle's wearing a nice royal blue singlet he hasn't worn up to now. He goes down and the Chrises do a bit together - Jericho does the Bret turnbuckle bump, Benoit goes for a back suplex, Jericho flips out, Benoit gets dropkicked into the turnbuckle.

 

We go back to Angle and Jericho in a return to yesterday's match. Jericho goes for the springboard dropkick again but is stopped by Benoit who is now fighting Angle on THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Jericho dropkicks the two of them. 

 

For the fourth month in a row, the Olympic wrestler is brawling on the outside. Jericho gets flapjacked onto the steps and Kurt hits a belly to belly in the ring - and this is now definitely a trademark move because JR says that "nobody does it better" than him.

 

Jericho gets the advantage with the double arm backbreaker, which I think I capitalised last night, oh well, no time to go back and check because Benoit just threw him off the top rope and he hit the announce table on the way down. Ouch. They haven't let up the pace at all - this isn't your kind of Triple Threat where it's always a singles match and the third person's lying outside the ring until it's their turn. They're all getting involved all the time and that's the way it should be.

 

Angle suplex on Benoit gets a 2, Jericho bulldog on Angle gets a 2, Benoit chops the shit out of Jericho and Angle shows him how to successfully hit a back suplex by doing it to him. Jericho sticks on a Camel Clutch that looks suspiciously like the Steiner Recliner on Benoit but has to turn his attention to the champ. For the first time it's slowed down a little bit and they're staying down a bit longer after moves. 

 

Angle hits a lovely double underhook belly to belly that we definitely haven't seen from him before. Crossface Chickenwing applied by Angle! Looks brutal, Benoit breaks it up by dropkicking Angle right in the head and chucking him into the crowd.

 

Benoit hits the headbutt on Jericho… 3 count! Angle has lost the Intercontinental Title without being pinned!

 

Second fall time!

 

JR has mentioned Bob Backlund a couple of times, what was his involvement with the match? Is he the reason why Angle used the Chickenwing?

 

Angle lays out the new IC champ and goes up for the moonsault, which JR calls uncharacteristic, but this is the second time he's gone for it in five matches I've watched so I'd call that fairly standard. The Chrises try to stop him but suplex each other instead, Kurt goes for the moonsault again, and misses it again. Hitting the move would be uncharacteristic at this point.

 

All three men down, Tim White starts the 10 count and NOBODY in the audience goes "10! 10! 10!" which makes a change.

 

Benoit's in charge at this point. All three of these guys are making their Mania debut. None of them were in the company a year prior. Crazy.

 

Benoit's now been dumped out and Angle's getting the double powerbomb treatment for the second month in a row. Angle no longer has a monopoly on German Suplexes in his match because Benoit just hit three, but Kurt broke up the pin and gets hit with a Dragon Suplex for his trouble. Looked like he landed right on his neck there. I cringed slightly.

 

Ref bump!

 

The Chrises are exchanging submissions so Angle grabs a belt and nobbles Jericho in the head with it just in time for The Wise Tim White to wake up and count 2. 

 

- Paraphrasing -

JR: Benoit wants to go back to Edmonton as a champion.

Lawler: Edmonton?

JR: That's where he lives.

Lawler: Eurgh.

 

While I was typing that, something happened and Jericho hit the Lionsault on Benoit and pinned him to become European Champion, and Angle has lost TWO titles without actually being beaten. They're showing the new champs afterwards but the focus is absolutely on Kurt. He pulls the straps down so you know he's angry, and while it's Jericho's music playing, Kurt Angle's who we see at the end of the segment.

 

My thoughts:

Another good match, which I'm quickly coming to expect. Lots of action, lots of moves, which is fine. I liked how all three guys were involved almost all the time. Novel way to get two belts off Angle without making him look weak. He still hasn't been pinned or submitted.

 

Angle landmarks:

First WrestleMania

First PPV match as Intercontinental Champion

First PPV title defence (Intercontinental and European)

First time facing the same opponent on consecutive PPVs (Jericho)

First time vs Chris Benoit (perennial opponent)

First non-singles PPV match

First title loss (Intercontinental and European)

First match with a ref bump

 

PPV record so far:

3 wins by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

2 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

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NEW EUROCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! 

 

A feat that, to this day, only Angle and future Hall Of Famer (we can but hope) D'Lo Brown have accomplished. You better recognise.

I believe Jeff Jarrett and Rob Vam Dam are Euro-Continental Champions as well.

 

Jarrett beat D'Lo at Summerslam 99 for both titles, then gave the Euro title to Mark Henry the following night.

Van Dam won the Euro title from Jeff Hardy to unify with the IC title as well, making him the final champion.

 

Great job on these write ups though HG, enjoying reading them through. It crazy to see his rise when you think about it, in 5ish months he's gone from new guy to man holding 2 titles in a gimmick match at mania. 

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Bloody Jeff Jarrett! I don't count RVD because that match was to merge the titles into one. In my head that doesn't make him champion of Europe.

 

 

It's Backlash 2000 time, and Angle vs Big Show. I watched this whole show a couple of months ago, but happily have forgotten almost everything about this match since then and so can watch it fresh.

 

The match:

Angle's out first, to mostly boos, but I'm sure I could hear a smattering of cheers there. Pre-match promo saying Show is a giant waste of talent, a big disappointment, but then turns on the crowd in case they start to cheer him - he even goes after the President! He's the only hero we have left. It's true.

 

'Real American' hits, and Big Show comes out in ripped yellow t-shirt, bald wig with long blonde wig underneath, and yellow trunks, as the Showster. Lest you forget what this looked like, here is a picture

 

tumblr_mt4hrb7Cbc1rptb91o2_250.gif

 

Because Big Show, who was only a year and a bit into his WWE run at this point, was pretty much done for here. He's had some shit put his way, hasn't he? Including the time they literally put a load of shit in his way. He's done well, all things considered.

 

How long must it have been since 'Real American' had been heard on a WWE show before this?

 

He's doing all the Hogan poses as well. Comedy giants, eh. Angle is furious that he's not taking the match seriously. Show then does a Hogan impression on the mic. Where did this 'doing impressions' gimmick lead for him? He was carted off to OVW four months after this, as I recall. But the previous month he was main eventing Mania… doesn't make sense. 

 

The match starts with Angle clubbing on Showster's back, but he does "the old no-sell" as JR calls it, Hulks Up, hits the Big Boot and then the Leg Drop for an extreme near fall. He ducks a clothesline and takes out Showster by the leg, which Show takes wonderfully, flipping over like a man his size really shouldn't.

 

Angle goes to work on the leg, keeping Showster grounded with repeated assaults on it. The crowd chants for Hogan. Show kicks Kurt all the way across the ring, and he rips off the wig and he's Big Show again, serious and angry, just wearing yellow and a fake tache. He nearly kills Angle with a clothesline and signals for the Chokeslam. He hits it!

 

Kurt Angle project chokeslam count: 1

 

1… 2… 3… fuck. As some shite hip-hop Big Show music hits, Angle has just been pinned on PPV for the very first time. By The Showster. Which he is announced as when they declare him the winner. That's not on.

 

My thoughts:

I feel deflated after that. That must be why I'd forgotten this match. Mostly because it was forgettable, to be honest. But watching it in the Angle context, it doesn't make any sense. Show may have just come off the WrestleMania main event but after Angle's steadily risen in stature and climbed the ladder over each previous month, this feels like he's fallen down a few rungs. And after they went to all that effort to not have him beaten cleanly at Mania. He should have won this.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match against a former WWE Champion

First match against Big Show (perennial opponent)

First pinfall loss on PPV

 

PPV record so far:

3 wins by pinfall

1 loss by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

2 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

This was also a really short match, so I'm heading off to Insurrextion to do the double.

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So, to try and get the sour taste of a thorough thrashing by the Showster out of my mouth, I turn to solace from Insurrextion 2000, and Kurt Angle vs…… oh, for fuck's sake, it's Benoit. Nothing like watching a man who killed his family to chase that sourness away.

 

The match:

Angle again out first, and he gets 'American hero' under his title card. Big reaction for him - again, I'm sensing it's not all boos.

 

British children are pale, weak, unhealthy and uneducated, says Kurt, and they can't speak English. They need to learn American. Now he's been booed. Nowt like a good bit of xenophobia! And he brings up World War 2 "where we saved you from the Germans". Oh, fuck off, Kurt. BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOO.

 

Benoit gets booed a bit as well by the sound of it. One of his eyes is all closed up. I don't like watching Benoit matches. I know it's been 10 years but I simply cannot look at him without thinking about what he did. If you can, or it doesn't bother you, good for you I guess.

 

HANG ON! Crash Holly just turned up! With the Hardcore Title! He's going on commentary! What?!

 

Benoit starts the match by doing some chops, and Crash is looking for an Englishman to fight. It's been all Benoit so far, with chops and suplexes and a drop toehold but Angle turns it round by flapjacking him on the ropes and going after his bad eye.

 

After missing a month, the Kurt Angle Ringside Brawl is back as he continues to go after the eye and runs Benoit into the ring post. Crash is still going on about not finding any Englishmen to fight for the Hardcore Title. I don't really know why he's out here.

 

BEAUTIFUL belly to belly by Angle back in the ring, we haven't seen that for a while and certainly not one that nice. It very nearly gets 3 as well. It's so odd to have a crowd that doesn't do silly chants every five seconds. Not a clap clap clapclapclap to be heard.

 

Angle in control, Benoit does the Bret Hart turnbuckle bump which means all three of the WM16 competitors have done it. Angle does it too, and Benoit does the three Germans for another extremely close near fall. Small package by Benoit, and then he locks in the Crossface, last done by someone on NXT this week (I can't remember who). 

 

Back suplex and Benoit decides to go for a concussion/the diving headbutt. He misses. Another eye rake from Kurt, the Olympic Slam connects (though JR says it's a "reverse fireman's carry" today) and Angle gets the 3. Another one in the W column, and I know it didn't count at the time because it was only Insurrextion and they weren't really canon in the wider scheme of things, were they, but it's good to see him win.

 

Crash did nothing. Why was he out there? Did they fly him out and forget to give him a match or something?

 

My thoughts:

Fine mid card match. Logical - Benoit's got a bad eye, Angle targets bad eye, bad eye gives Benoit enough gip for Angle to hit his finisher and win. Sensible stuff.

 

Angle landmarks:

First match in the UK

First full mention of the Three Is by Angle (pre-match promo)

First singles match against Chris Benoit (perennial opponent)

 

PPV record so far:

4 wins by pinfall

1 loss by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

2 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

 

Y'know what? That was a short match as well. I'm going to do Judgment Day tonight too, because I know he's got three matches coming up at King of the Ring so that'll be tomorrow. I'll do Fully Loaded once I've seen Takeover San Antonio on Sunday, and will probably have to miss Monday because I have to fit in the Rumble, so that should all work out by Tuesday. An Angle treble!

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Judgment Day 2000 sees Angle in … ooh, a six man tag match! This is different! It's Angle, Edge & Christian vs. Rikishi and Too Cool!

 

The match:

I'm fairly certain there's more cheers than boos there as Angle heads out - he's in the opener again this month. During the now regular pre-match promo he references his new friendship with E&C. He introduces his tag partners who definitely get a face reaction. They're the Tag Team champions and they've got sacks with them. Could this be a five second pose? I see a guitar….

 

Christian says they have a special treat. Edge does the flash photography line… it's coming… this one's called "The Jug Band". Kurt's taken a step into comedy here. Edge has got fake teeth and a banjo, Christian has a washboard, Kurt has a straw hat and a jug, Jerry Lawler sounds like he's hyperventilating on commentary.

 

Too Cool and Rikishi come out to a rapturous reception. Their entrance goes on a while, and as soon as I type that it stops with all six men brawling. Rikishi whips Angle into the turnbuckle, Edge into him, Christian into them, then Scotty hits Christian, Sexay hits Edge, and Rikishi goes for Angle but he bails.

 

Edge and Sexay in the ring. Do I need to review the bits that don't have Angle in? I might not, you know.

 

Too Cool look a right pair of berks, but that didn't seem to matter at the time. Christian and Scotty in now. I'll start properly again when Kurt gets tagged in. They do a nice little sequence where Sexay lies on top of the turnbuckle to absorb the impact when Scotty's whipped into it, and Edge tries to do the same for Christian but it goes wrong.

 

Oh! Kurt did something! He gave Christian a little pep talk on the outside while Grandmaster Sexay took his trousers off for some reason and everybody laughs because he's got a small cock maybe?

 

Rikishi comes in and starts clobbering E&C so they tag in Kurt and Rikishi hip tosses him into the ring. Angle goes for a sunset flip, Rikishi tries to sit on him, Angle gets out of the way and sends him to his team's corner where E&C work him over. Rikishi fights back and Kurt bails, looks like Christian's legal again and it's time for the Worm, but Angle clatters Scotty with a clothesline to help out his mates. Good on him.

 

Edge and Scotty again now, back in a moment.

 

Angle is tagged in and chokes Scotty in the ropes and punches him a lot in the corner, the crowd's come super alive and I'm not entirely sure why. They're maybe just really into the match. "Angle sucks" chant. That's a first, I think - not quite "You suck" but it's a step towards it! Christian in now, it's confirmed that the crowd just really love Too Cool! 

 

Hot tag to Rikishi takes control of all three of ECK, they're all piled up in the corner again and Rikishi runs right into them… and it looks like it's Kurt's turn for the Stinkface. There it is. Right in his face. Talk about taking one for the team. Rikishi's taking on Christian and Angle simultaneously until Edge takes him out with a Spear, but then Scotty comes in for the Worm again, and Teddy Long, for all he tries to pretend he loves tag team matches, playa, he doesn't give one single fuck about who the legal man is here.

 

Christian clobbers Rikishi with the ring bell but Sexay hits Edge with the Hip Hop Drop while he's trying to pin him. Angle tries to make the save but is fractionally too late and it's a three count. Terrible refereeing by Long. 

 

We get a replay of the Stinkface, just to rub it in. Get it? Rub it in, because he rubs his arse in people's faces… don't worry, this is my last one for the night.

 

My thoughts:

Blatant disregard for the rules of six man tag matches aside, it was fun to see Angle with Edge and Christian again, even if Angle himself felt a little surplus to requirements. He didn't really need to be there. Are they just saving him for King Of The Ring next month?

 

Angle landmarks:

First PPV tag team match

First match affiliated with Edge & Christian

First Five Second Pose!

First chant of "Angle sucks"

 

PPV record so far:

4 wins by pinfall

1 loss by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

3 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

 

 

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Crash is still going on about not finding any Englishmen to fight for the Hardcore Title. I don't really know why he's out here.

 

(Snip)

 

Crash did nothing. Why was he out there?

Moments after the Benoit/Angle match Crash reiterated his challenge from the ring and got hammered by Bulldog. Weird booking since by this point Crash was getting cheered as comic relief. But then, they'd just put on a heel vs heel match so whatever.

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Crash did nothing. Why was he out there? Did they fly him out and forget to give him a match or something?

I think if you'd hung around you'd have seen him lose the Hardcore Title to a returning British Bulldog, hence the "can't find an Englishman" pretext. :)

 

Edit: God damn it.

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Thanks both! That kind of makes sense I guess, though I still don't get why he had to come out for the match first.

 

Never mind. I've moved on and so has Kurt. It's time to play the game of thrones as we do King Of The Ring 2000!

 

(I'll review all the tournament matches in one post)

 

 

Match 1: Chris Jericho

 

Angle's quarter final opponent is Jericho, making this the third time they've faced each other on PPV since February. Kurt gets a massive cheer when he comes out - and a LOT of support from the crowd. 

 

In this month's pre-match he calls himself "Your American Hero", which is a first as well. He's got them to turn on him again. It's fantastic - even if they cheer him at the start, he'll get them to boo him. "It's true, I'm fat, I'm unemployed, now get me another bee-ah", he finishes in a Boston accent. 

 

Jericho gets a HUGE pop. Massive. Considering they let Crash into the semi-finals (spoilers) it's mad that they thought Angle vs Jericho should be a quarter final. Jericho using "nerd" as an insult there. Angle's wearing his snazzy half-white half-red outfit for the first time tonight. He's fucked for the match though, Teddy Long's in there refereeing and we know from last month how he favours Kurt's opponents.

 

They go corner to corner, we get an early belly to belly and a "Woo!" from Angle before Jericho flies back with a Shawn Michaels forearm, some chops and a kick that Kurt sells superbly. Missile dropkick gets two. Jericho hits the bulldog, connects with the Lionsault, this finished Benoit at WrestleMania… but Angle gets his foot on the ropes. The JR/Lawler partisan commentary works really well in Angle matches. 

 

He's knocked to the outside for the traditional Kurt Angle Ringside Brawl section of the match, he hip tosses Jericho over the barricade and Y2J nearly takes out a security guy who smartly no-sells the boot to the face he got. Jericho's chucked with force into the steps for another "Woo!" JR points out the welts on his chest from Jericho's chops earlier as Kurt locks in a chinlock with a grapevine. "Angle sucks" chant.

 

All these firsts I've mentioned in the past several reviews are all coming together in this match, which is cool to see. It's development and culmination and progress and things.

 

Kurt Angle has still not developed a good counter for the double arm backbreaker, because Jericho's just hit it again, which he has done successfully in every match they've had. Angle grabs the ropes again. Good way of keeping Jericho strongish, I guess, showing Angle can't kick out of his moves as such, and has to resort to the ropes to stay in the match.

 

Jericho gets slingshotted and then back suplexed, and it sounds like Jericho vs Triple H is already set for Fully Loaded. We're not doing Jericho though, we're on Kurt Angle, who is now firmly in control. Lovely German Suplex gets him nearly 3. Steve Blackman remains the only person that move's beaten.

 

Not getting the pin has made Kurt mad as he punches and stamps away at Jericho in the corner, but Teddy Long distracts him so Jericho can intervene, because TEDDY LONG IS A TERRIBLE REFEREE WHO'S GOT IT IN FOR KURT ANGLE.

 

Angle climbs to the second rope so Jericho can dropkick him in the gut and hit a nice Frankensteiner. Both men down. Spinning heel kick gets a near fall for Jericho. He goes for the bulldog again but Angle reverses it into a clothesline which I guess we should call a lariat since it got a near fall? Is that the difference? And why's the Rainmaker more powerful than both of them? If Okada just does a clothesline, is that different?

 

Sorry, anyway, Jericho reversed the Olympic Slam into the Walls but Stephanie McMahon, who as we know is about to become quite important to Kurt, has run down to distract the referee as Angle taps (for the first time ever). Jericho releases the hold - Long didn't see it - and Angle knocks him into Long who goes down because he's shit at his job. Steph comes in and gingerly runs to hit Jericho with the Women's Title belt, Jericho ducks and she hits the world's glanciest glancing blow on Angle.

 

Jericho then sexually assaults Stephanie. Like proper non-consensual, man forcing himself on a woman stuff. But the crowd cheer because Attitude.

 

Olympic Slam, 1, 2, 3, fuck Chris Jericho.

 

My thoughts:

The reply shows how he grabs her by the arm before he does it. They would never get away with that these days, and thank fuck they wouldn't, because fuck that shit for a pop.

 

The match was fine. I know it's my 2017 mind projecting onto 2000 content but "it's fine to sexually assault women if they're a heel" is the type of babyface action that got Trump elected. Fuck you Jericho, I hope you stay in that shark cage all night tomorrow and they forget you after the show. No wonder Stephanie emasculates all the men, it's a defence mechanism to make sure they don't try and force themselves on her.

 

-

 

Match 2: Crash

So, in the semi-final, Angle looks to take revenge on Crash for blathering on about Englishmen during the match at Insurrextion.

 

WWF.com is relaunching on June 26. 2 million hits a month, don't you know.

 

Somehow I don't see Crash making it to the final. Remember when he became a Mattitude Follower for a bit before they binned him off to TNA?

 

Slightly more mute reaction for Kurt the second time out - he doesn't have his mic this time. They do loads of crowd shots of people with signs in 2000. Crowd shots have never been any good.

 

Crash is trying to use speed in the early going and Angle looks a little flustered. Angle hits a lovely running cradle for 2, Crash hits a powerslam for 2, hip toss attempt countered into the double underhook belly to belly for a "Woo!" Winner faces Rikishi in the final. Someone's just come out for a run-in because half the crowd are looking the other way.

 

Chinlock applied, then a knee to the gut and some punches in the corner. "It's been a Cinderella story, but it's almost midnight" says Lawler of Crash, which is a nice call.  Crash goes for a back body drop but almost doesn't get Angle all the way over - they manage it, just, but that could have been nasty. Angle goes for the Bret Hart turnbuckle bump and is hit with his second missile dropkick of the night for 2.

 

One Olympic Slam later and it's over. Final time!

 

My thoughts:

Necessary, that's what I'd call that match. He had to do it to get to the final. Kurt's easiest win since Stasiak.

 

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THEY'RE FUCKING PLUGGING TRUMP. He was at the previous night's Madison Square Garden show. I hate him. His fucking smarmy face. I hope he didn't have locker room talk with Jericho that convinced him to do that to Stephanie before.

 

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Match 3: Rikishi

Mostly boos for Angle on his third time out. Were those his actual medals he used to wear or were they props? 

 

Rikishi's Intercontinental Champion at this point. Angle should win back the belt he never technically lost. Crowd aren't that fussed to see him but then they have already seen him twice.

 

Angle tries to bodyslam Rikishi but can't, so Rikishi does it to him. We go almost straight to the Stinkface - two months in a row for this, but wait! I think he hit a low blow! Nicely done, Kurt. Clothesline and a "Woo!"

 

They're talking about previous KOTR winners and saying nice things about Owen Hart. Mr Ass is a bit of a standout amongst the previous winners, isn't he? 

 

Angle and Rikishi have had the Traditional Ringside Brawl, and they're exchanging strikes in the ring now, neither man wanting to give in. Angle sent into two opposite corners, clotheslined and Samoan Dropped. He hits a Diamond Cutter type thing that JR reckons is a neckbreaker. Both men look exhausted as he flings his arse into Angle in the corner. NOW it's Stinkface time. Two months in a row. Angle gets mostly Rikishi's outfit in his face though, and recovers enough to hit the Olympic Slam - Rikishi kicks out!

 

JR says he can't remember anyone kicking out of the Olympic Slam but I THINK YOU'LL FIND JR, JERICHO DID AT NO WAY OUT.

 

Rikishi sits on Angle for 2.

 

Rikishi then goes up top for some mad reason, Kurt gets up and hits a MASSIVE belly to belly superplex. That should do it. Yep! King Kurt of House Angle, first of his name, pulls his straps down and falls to his knees in celebration! 

 

My thoughts:

You could tell how tired they both were, but they did what they had to do, and Angle's done it. Three matches, one night, and he's King of the Ring! The first match was the best of the three, then this one, and the Crash match last.

 

Of Angle's three opponents, one's in the Hall of Fame, one is sadly dead, and one's currently the United States Champion and gets cheered for sexual assault 16 years before the WWF's great mate the President of all those United States he's Champion of got elected for it. I'm just saying, you can't always watch 2000 WWF with a 2017 mind because it hasn't all aged well.

 

It also shows that even if you just decide to innocently watch Kurt Angle PPV matches for three months, YOU STILL CAN'T FUCKING GET AWAY FROM TRUMP. 

 

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Angle landmarks:

First time in multiple matches on one show

First mention of "Your American Hero"

First match involving Stephanie McMahon

First time Angle taps out to a move

First tournament win

 

PPV record so far:

7 wins by pinfall

1 loss by pinfall

1 loss by unconsciousness

3 multi-man match losses (Angle not defeated)

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RE: Kurt's medals - probably props by that point.

 

He started off wearing his real Olympic gold medal to the ring, but when he was attacked/bumping with it on, it was in real danger of getting properly fucked up (gold being a pretty soft metal) so he switched to using fakes (multiple medals, with the red, white & blue ribbons) pretty quickly.

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