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Didn't even have to use my AK (minor annoyances)


Gus Mears

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You daft get. Alright, I'll greek it up — spanakopita, does that make it easier? And do you have something against apples in a pie, you soft sod? And potato's what, you wazzock?

 

I don't believe you — I reckon you're looking at that, and thinking "fuck, that looks grand, that does". I'll lie about it, because I'm embarrassed that I was so wrong.

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They don't call apples FRUIT for nothing, Sergio. Potato is the testosterone charged vegetable for the working man, full of coronary goodness and cancerous joy. 

 

 

 spanakopita, 

 

Wash your mouth out with lard based soap, or I'll set you up for a wizard prang for your uppity foreign verbiage. 

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Went out to the fucking dentist, to find that they were closed. On closer inspection, we'd agreed today at 1030, and they'd then put in it their system for Monday at 1030 after deciding not to open today. Bollocks.

 

Still, silver lining was that the amazon fresh order we did with our recent refund contained an obscure Ben and Jerry's flavour, and they emailed to apologise for not having any, and gave us a refund of $10 for our inconvenience. When the order turned up, the ice cream was in there anyway. Result!

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Well, it's a godsend for us — getting food for an affordable price is a constant struggle here. I used to go right across town on the bus or in a cab to bring stuff from Trader Joe's, but since we subscribed to Amazon Fresh, we basically only shop from there. Selection can be a bit spotty, so we tend to do two shops a week (another luxury, no lugging two hundredweight of food up the stairs), making sure to reach the free delivery minimum. I went a bit mental with it before Christmas, because they were having a $1 sell off, and I got a shitload of stuff for next to nothing. 

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Why is food so expensive there? I was led to believe that you could buy shit tons of delicious munch at rock bottom prices in the States, but Boston was more expensive than here really. Over 1$ for a Slim Jim, which is like a Pepperami if they covered it in dead skin and stale cigar layers. Only thing that was really cheap was godawful Dunkin' coffee.

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I can't speak for outside of the big cities (NYC, really), but it's quite varied here — the Food Emporium that used to be down the street from us was a beautiful shop, but the prices were demented. Go to Trader Joe or Food Country, which is about 30 blocks uptown from us in East Harlem, and you're looking at some dirt cheap prices. I'm not pissing around with that when I can getting Amazon to deliver it, and fill in the gaps with massive honking great greasy pizzas.

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It's your desk, boss — I have fried chicken and ribs all the time, the reasoning being that if Sheila can eat sardine curry, there are no barriers.

 

Used to work with an Asian guy who used to bring these lamb curries in for lunch. He'd micro the fuck out of it and then spend 20 years mopping it up with Naans that looked like dirty dishrags while the rest of us retched into waste paper bins.

 

They don't call apples FRUIT for nothing, Sergio. Potato is the testosterone charged vegetable for the working man, full of coronary goodness and cancerous joy. 

 

 

spanakopita,

 

Wash your mouth out with lard based soap, or I'll set you up for a wizard prang for your uppity foreign verbiage.

 

I had that for the first time a few months ago. It was absolutely fantastic. Salty cheese, spinach and glorious filo pastry. I had mine as a veggie sub in a roast dinner. Fucking beautiful with gravy, roasties and veg.

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It's your desk, boss — I have fried chicken and ribs all the time, the reasoning being that if Sheila can eat sardine curry, there are no barriers.

Used to work with an Asian guy who used to bring these lamb curries in for lunch. He'd micro the fuck out of it and then spend 20 years mopping it up with Naans that looked like dirty dishrags while the rest of us retched into waste paper bins.

 

They don't call apples FRUIT for nothing, Sergio. Potato is the testosterone charged vegetable for the working man, full of coronary goodness and cancerous joy.

 

 

spanakopita,

Wash your mouth out with lard based soap, or I'll set you up for a wizard prang for your uppity foreign verbiage.

I had that for the first time a few months ago. It was absolutely fantastic. Salty cheese, spinach and glorious filo pastry. I had mine as a veggie sub in a roast dinner. Fucking beautiful with gravy, roasties and veg.

I've had the opposite experience when bringing home cooked curries into work. People are always wanting to know what smells so good. I tend not to eat at my desk however. Much prefer making use of the park, which is close by, to have my lunch.

The Spanakopita both looks and I bet tastes stupendous.

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The rule for me is does it smell bad (either as a general consensus or been raised by one person as a unique personal thing) and are you getting slop and shit on the desk.

 

If either of these are yes you shouldn't be eating at your desk.

 

Any one who makes other people in an open plan office endure the stench of egg when there is a canteen should be given 50 lashes for each egg based offence.

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There's a guy at work who drinks filtered coffee. More often than not the aroma of whatever blend he's drinking at the time

can be really pleasant. Never offensive.

Another time. One of the lads had heated up some Mackrel. I was out of the office at the time. The resulting pong from the microwaved fish permeated the whole upper floor of our building. Causing our manager to go outside for fresh air. Otherwise he would have brought up his lunch.

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People not saying "Please" or "Thank You". I know these are minor annoyances in the scheme of things but it annoys me. I might not look like a particularly happy looking chap, but when I say "please" and "thank you", I actually mean it. Constant smiling too annoys me. Never trust somebody that smiles all the time. Nerves that is. I stopped going into some pub around here because some local alchie kept on slagging me off for not smiling across the whole pub. I've got dodgy teeth and I'm happy, why do I need to parade them about by doing a big grin?

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I hate people who think nodding and going "mmh, yeah, oh yeah, mmh" makes them good with people.

 

I also hate people who tell me they are good with people or a people person. People who are genuinely good with people don't need to tell you.

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