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Post of the Year 2017


HarmonicGenerator

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I don't really venture into on-topic unless a thread has descended into Poirot chat, or talking about Fred Dibnah. But air_raid summed up a lot of why I don't watch wrestling anymore. 

 

Something dawned on me yesterday while I was tweeting at Linus about Sami Zayn : they don't have a fucking clue what they're doing any more, do they? Raw spoilers for Zayn/Strowman below, if you haven't seen it.

I haven't been posting much because honestly, I don't watch as much wrestling that gets discussed on here any more. I talk about the live shows I go to with other people AT those shows, and I watch New Japan, which I'd rather talk about at shows, with real life friends into it, or on Twitter than on here. But I watched some WWE over the last few weeks and fucking hell, the booking is atrocious!

I was ranting about not having a reason to care about Sami Zayn now he's just another interchangeable 50/50 Club dickhead, and he mentioned a few other talents that had been called up from NXT and now give you no reason to believe in them. I'll come back to these (and others I've lost faith in) and focus on Zayn for a bit first.

Now, that debacle at Roadblock was quite something. Seriously, who was that set of circumstances supposed to benefit. I mean, CLEARLY there's no intention of pinning Strowman, so you know he isn't properly losing, but he didn't get to win either, so it didn't really benefit him. But then... Sami is declared the winner even though he didn't really win shit, and celebrating that makes him look the biggest chump since Luger at SummerSlam 93.

Hovering around Strowman for a second, I stayed up for some of Boxing Day Raw, and when they announced Strowman v Seth, my heart sank. Nobody was getting pinned there, were they? It was so obviously going to be a fuck finish, I wondered why they were bothering. So this week they blew off Strowman and Sami on Raw, where it will be forgotten, in a gimmick match where nobody had to get pinned. Sorry, that's not good enough.

If you seriously want Braun as a real threatening heel, why can't he crush Sami in a regular match on the PPV/ special and go over by pinfall. Clearly there's no upwards plans for Zayn at this point so you can beat him for now without this lame 50/50 protection shite where both men can say they've "won" but neither has had to actually lose. Net gain to date : nobody looks any stronger.

So yeah, Strowman/Rollins fuck finish. So shit scared are they of developing ANY sense of pecking order, with this coming so soon after they couldn't be arsed doing a pinfall in Owens/Reigns, so they could promote a rematch... even though THIS wasn't exactly the first time they'd wrestled. Which brings me neatly to Kevin Owens, who Linus mentioned also.

So, I was watching Boxing Day Raw and they announced Owens vs Reigns. I was gobsmacked. So.... they'd wrestled on TV before Roadblock, they wrestled AT Roadblock, they're wrestling again at the Rumble.... and they're wrestling tonight?? Sorry, why exactly should I give a shit about this match, I've seen it half a dozen times. Poor Kev. He's lost by pinfall to Reigns twice on TV either side of Roadblock, and he's supposed to be champion despite being booked as "midcard" as Dolph fucking Ziggler.

Owens is jobbed every second week or so, and has been allowed to become the second biggest star in a group of two. Their act is about Jericho. Owens' elimination at Survivors was about Jericho, the finish at Roadblock was about Jericho, the build for the Rumble is about Jericho. Casual reminder : Raw's champion is supposed to be Kevin Owens, for fuck's sake. My only hope is that they build for Mania with a match between the two where Owens goes over and moves on. Of course, because it's Mania, they will have moved the U belt onto someone else by then so Owens/Jericho will be as midcard as that I title match they had on the Network last year.

Just going back a bit to Seth Rollins for a minute... its atrocious how artificially they've extending the wait for his match with Hunter until Mania. There are ways of sewing the seed for a match with eights months to wait for then giving it build, but one party not being there just doesn't work for me, brother. Rollins has been left to meander in stopgap feuds with Jericho and Kev... and speaking of which, if it was so important to HHH that Owens, not Rollins, was champ, why hasnt HE done anything since to keep it that way? Where's the consistency? Was it just about fucking with Seth? Did we ever get an answer? Why should I care? Not even thinking about the way they botched Rollins' babyface comeback by having him return as a heel and target Reigns who the tv crowds vocally DON'T LIKE...

Linus also mentioned Bayley and this is one that really boils my piss. The Raw I watched saw Charlotte go over Bayley with some good old-fashioned heel screwyness, which I greatly approved of, and it would have me looking forward to seeing Bayley try and avenge this at the Rumble.... if, as the commentators reminded me ad nauseum, she hadn't pinned Charlotte three times in a row on TV already! Not only is it more 50/50 bollocks, but you've given me Charlotte losing to Bayley already, right at the start of the run. No build for anything, no clamour for anything.

Beating Charlotte on PPV when she's been imperious in her series with Sasha might be a big deal, but is it that much of a big deal when she's so easy to beat on TV?? Just makes Sasha look lamer still as a knock-on, which boils my piss most of all. The BO$$ is popular, marketable and sells loads of merch to little kids, and they could have let her become something special, but nobody's allowed to be special.

Finally, Linus mentioned Enzo & Cass, and this triggered my biggest reaction for "they haven't got a fucking clue." Remember how hot that pair looked coming in and starting shit immediately with the Dudley Boys?? Wow, what a start that was, yanking on the chain of one of the most successful teams in company history. And from the moment the Duds showed up on Raw after SummerSlam 2015, you knew the biggest value derived from them would be to put two bright young things on the map.

What a scalp they would represent for Cass & Enzo on a pay per view, especially if they'd struggled and maybe needed to fight from underneath and get cheated in a couple of matches first. Except.... oh, no patience. Amore and Cassady went over Bubba Ray and D-Von two weeks later on a Raw you don't remember, and worked the Vaudevillains at the PPV. Hugely rushed as that was, and lost in the shuffle as same Vaudevillains are now, losing to the Hype Bros and Breezangos of the world in their most recent TV matches of note.

And as for those Dudleys, and that rub they could have given? Well, they let Anderson & Gallows beat them up after a one night babyface turn. Wow. Could have had some impact in a big "passing the torch" clean defeat at SummerSlam, but for whatever reason instead it was vital they lose on the pre-show to Zayn & Neville, whose tag team name should have been "Going Nowhere" for all the good that win did. The Dudleys exit was as forgettable as their year back had been, first night back aside.

I highlight The Club because I want to talk about their mistreatment. Say what you want about Karl and (especially) Luke as workers, they were an act that got brought in with some buzz. Hitting the Magic Killer on guys in sneak attacks and an association with a star like AJ gave them a star aura, and though there was probably never a chance of unseating New Day at the time, there was no need for them to be thrown into 50/50 hell and presented as just another team as quickly as they were. Even if the plan wasnt for them to be either champions or serious threats when the SECOND pair of tag belts were on their way (for all the fucking depth they have) they could have at least been established as really tough to beat to be a big stepping stone for the newly called up American Alpha.

Jesus Christ, where do I start with Alpha? I know that they aren't AS good when facing anyone other than Revival, but fuck my life, they've got everything they need to be successful and popular on the main roster. Nobody should even get near them. When they were eliminated in shady style by the heel-turning Usos in the SmackDown tag belto tournament, it made sense to me, in a way. "Ah, so when the Usos win, Alpha get a few wins to establish themselves as top contenders, then the fans will want to see them go after the Usos, both for the belts, and for revenge. Old school storytelling, lovely stuff."

Except... they had to pay off the Slater nonsense instead. Ummm..... OK. Well, that joke went on far too long, and if it meant enough to them to give Heath another moment in the sun, there's no reason with that story having run its course, they couldn't have lost the belts to the Usos on the next SmackDown since Usos/Alpha was logical and needed to be on a PPV and for the belts.

So.... Alpha tread water, including being eliminated in the middle of the Survivors eliminator, just like The Club, going lukewarm and looking like just another team. Orton and Wyatt winning the belts gave me hope, because as two genuine stars united they could have been built up as unbeatable and given time for Alpha to be rehabilitated and get some momentum. Except, they spunked that away in three weeks. Alpha won the tag belts before they were ready, Orton and Wyatt lost the belts before beating them was established as a challenge. Weak.

It's shite, isn't it? Everybody is booked to look the same, everything is rushed, everything is overdone, nothing is preserved and kept special unless you're a special attraction like Cena, Brock, Goldberg, Taker. The roster split in combination with the call ups SHOULD have meant fresh matches and more intrigue but actually nothing's changed. Alexa becoming top girl on SmackDown is the only thing that's piqued my interest in months from the full-timers as being fresh and interesting without immediately being rushed through or in other ways fucked up.

Honestly, my WWE fandom is more precarious than ever. If it wasn't for a tiny number of performers I feel an attachment to - AJ, Sasha, Balor when he's back - I wonder if I'd be bothering with the main roster shows at all. Sorry if this is TL:DR but I had to get it off my chest.

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