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WEIRD Things That Scared You As A Kid ffs


Devon Malcolm

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Despite never having a fear of clowns the opening scene to Octopussy used to really get to me. I had a fear of water when little so perhaps it's when he gets washed down the river that upset me,  but there was something about the vision of him crashing through the window that always used to rattle around my head for ages too. Watching it back now it's really tame stuff, and I watched Aliens and Robocop (possibly the edited for TV versions) with no problem at all around the same time.

 

YES. Exactly the same with me with that scene! There were two other Bond scenes I had trouble with when I was a kid as well.

 

 

 

I think with the latter it was the musical accompaniment of Bach's Air On The G String that for some reason made it worse.

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As a kid I absolutely shat myself watching g Watership Down, not the bit with General Woundwart, I never got that far as a kid. I was scared of the other rabbits, and as it then turned out, all rabbits. I have no idea what it was but I used to cry at the sight of them.

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I used to stay at my aunties house on a Friday once or twice a month as a kid and we'd rent a film to watch from the corner shop, I watched all sorts of shite I shouldnt have back then as well. One week though I picked up The Elephant Man which seemed innocent enough and the opening to it terrified me it had to get turned off. Never managed to watch it for years

 

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Those big animal costumes they would have fuckers dress up at in Pontins or Haven or the like.

 

party-characters-skegness.png

 

Of course they didn't used to look like that. When I used to go, it wasn't cuddly koala or mouse characters. I recall a massive human-dog looming around, all black with red eyes that scared the piss out of me. I can't remember the name for the life of me.

 

Young me used to be utterly terrified at the prospect of having a 6ft animal try and put an arm around me. They frightened the utter life out of me and I've zero idea to this day as to why. I'm at my Nan's for Christmas and there's an immense picture of me stood next to a pink fluffy bunny, and said black and red dog with tears streaming down my face. I'm going to have to find it.

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Oh fuck Charn just brought back horrible horrible memories. Count me in for the cyborg from Superman 3, Zelda and Jaws. I used to have to get out the bath before the plug was pulled just in case Jaws came up.

 

I was utterly fucking terrified of Pipes from Ghostwatch in 1992. I was 12 and I didn't sleep for days.

 

 

 

I was also terrified of Ultravox's Vienna. The song and the video. My evil auntie used to play it and I'd run and hide behind the couch screaming and crying. However it means nothing to me now.

 

Sorry.

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Big ones for me were the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the Tall Thin Man from Look and Read's 'Boy From Space'.

 

 

Look at the shit. It's that slow, relentless pursuit, like a zombie or the Terminator. He's the analogue Slender Man. I have a very vivid memory of our class being taken to the TV room (I am ancient) to watch the latest installment, and the sheer visceral terror I felt, knowing he might appear, and knowing that I had no option but to watch. It felt like state torture. We were just kids, and the adults, supposed to look after us, were forcing us to watch. The memory of that feeling of betrayal is as strong as remembering the terror itself, and how me and my then-best friend Aaron, sat on the floor in front of the big telly on wheels, were just flailing, trying to escape, when he came on the screen; anything but to look at him.

 

In face, the boy himself was pretty poo-pants. Silver little cunt.

 

 

My first memory of being afraid at all, is of an animatronic at a model village when I was about 4. It was an old woman in a shawl on a rocking chair, inside a glass case, and when you put 10p in the slot, the chair rocked wildly, and she cackled with laughter, thrashing about under the shawl. Horrifying. I pegged it out of there, and my mum found me weeping by a miniature cathedral. I tell this story because, years later, I had a very intense reaction to footage of music hall drag act Old Mother Riley, a washerwoman who instantly took me back to that day, like some acid flashback to all the kills I logged during Nam. Even now, it creeps me out massively, and it's not un-Child Catcher-like in the nose area either.

 

arthur-lucan-02.jpg

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