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Your Crimbo Traditions


Gus Mears

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Being a father my Christmas now resolves around my daughter, and making sure she has a good time/dealing out threats about Santa giving her coal if she isn't good etc. (this is now even easier with apps that like "fake" a phone call from Santa that you can personalise...)

 

Many years before, I used to genuinely hate Christmas. As my parents were divorced, I would have to travel about (sometimes of my own accord) to visit them both. And as they are both re-married with kids as well, it was a hassle for me to set out at 9am and (following at least 2 Christmas dinners....which I also don't like) end up at home at around 7pm, knackered. I'd also visit both sets of grandparents, and even my great Nan (when she was with us) on the day.......so it was a day of travelling, trying to politely turn down food and then eventually eat it anyway, and just running about like a delivery service for presents, essentially to other family's that I wasn't involved with that much. But you know, you have to do it...because Christmas.

 

These days, I'm married and we have our daughter, so we get up and do the whole presents thing with her, then watch generic music TV that shows all the Christmas songs, and drink tea. Then we all dress up in our new clothes, (like you do for some reason), and go visit my wife's family. We hang out with them, have tea out somewhere and then head back for more presents. The in-laws are a big bunch (various brothers/sisters, and their partners + kids) so its a "festive" atmosphere.

 

Barring that its Morcambe & Wise and the movie Scrooged for me, on TV, that really makes my Christmas whole. If I'm pushing the boat out, we'll also watch a more traditional Christmas Carol, but it has to be the one with Patrick Stewart in it.

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I bloody love Christmas. Tree went up yesterday whilst having a Honey Jack and watching Home Alone. 

 

Christmas Eve I always do my last bits of shopping (stocking fillers really) and make eggnog and have a few mates over.

 

Christmas morning is Muppet Christmas Carol and watching my son open his presents and then we have my mum, my brother and his other half and my in laws round for dinner, which was really awkward until my son was born and my father in law completely changed his personality to one that is much less of a twat. Although I will piss him off royally by barring Sky Sports from the telly, sticking on back to back Christmas specials and hiding the remote. The wife makes dinner for everyone, I make pudding and the mothers wash up. Then everyone fucks off so we can all have a nap before going round my cousin's house in the evening to drink homebrew, eat cheese and watch soaps. It's bloody brilliant. I'm always really sad when it's over.

 

I'm really grateful that I have a big family that I get along with and the last couple of years it's made me really think about those that don't. Last year I was working with a guy who had recently split with his partner and was living alone. He was facing his first Christmas without seeing his kids. He had no family nearby and kept mentioning this at work. To cap it off he was drinking every night and ended up getting sacked for showing up late and hungover several times. I really felt for the guy and found myself thinking about his situation a lot and wishing that I had done something for him and I haven't forgotten about it this year. Is there any kind of organisation that can put you in touch with someone that is alone at Christmas where you can invite them round for dinner or something?

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it has to be the one with Patrick Stewart in it.

Good man.

 

I'm also partial to the Muppets version, mind. But Richard E Grant as Bob Cratchet reflecting on Tiny Tim chokes me every time.

 

Other must-see Christmas TV for me is The Snowman. Wonder if they'll ever make a sequel to that.

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Ah, the Snowman. I would hate it 99% of the time, but seems acceptable somehow around Christmas. Plus I can play it on the ol' Johanna.

 

Here is a crap Christmas tradition I just remembered. My Grandma insisting on playing the Annie Lennox Christmas Album loudly on Christmas Day morning. Keep in mind I'm usually hungover and trying to prepare a turkey without being sick at this point. 'Cats' and 'being stepped' on come to mind. 

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Our Christmas Eve routine has always been to get the kids a nice Christmassy set of PJ's, get some food on the go and watch movies before they go to bed. Me and the Mrs then make sure anything that requires setting up, needs batteries or building is ready for the kids to get playing with straight away. This generally involves me trying to build bikes or setting tablets up until 1am whilst we have a couple of rums and watch any decent films on the telly.

 

Christmas morning is usually chaotic, let the kids play with their new toys/ make a mess of the house until we have my mum and the in-laws round for dinner. Me, the wife and kids then join my Dad's side of the family at my Aunties for the yearly buffet at hers and the now infamous Crap Pass the parcel.

 

My Grandad died in April so this is the first Christmas without him. He was like the Don of the family so it's going to be a tough one without him, might make for a different atmosphere this year.

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My Grandad died in April so this is the first Christmas without him. He was like the Don of the family so it's going to be a tough one without him, might make for a different atmosphere this year.

 

 

Sorry to hear that and yeah, lost both of mine within the last 3 years and it isn't quite the same. No one quite holds court like they did and I still feel quite uncomfortable that I've been moved to head of the table (his old seat) at one side of the family. 

 

Tell you what. I can't bloody wait to be an old git in the same manner when I'm 70 odd though. I know both of mine absolutely loved being 'the Don' as you accurately put it on Christmas Day.

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for those with kids or anybody who had this as a kid:

 

My wife puts a small present at the end of the bed, for our daughter. Apparently she had the same thing as a kid, but that was totally new to me at the time, and I still find it slightly odd. Then again when asked what you leave you leave out for Santa on Christmas eve, I said Beer + mince pie, which is not the correct answer according to my better half hah.

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My Grandad died in April so this is the first Christmas without him. He was like the Don of the family so it's going to be a tough one without him, might make for a different atmosphere this year.

 

 

Sorry to hear that and yeah, lost both of mine within the last 3 years and it isn't quite the same. No one quite holds court like they did and I still feel quite uncomfortable that I've been moved to head of the table (his old seat) at one side of the family. 

 

Tell you what. I can't bloody wait to be an old git in the same manner when I'm 70 odd though. I know both of mine absolutely loved being 'the Don' as you accurately put it on Christmas Day.

 

 

Thanks fella. I'm still uncomfortable sitting in his chair at my nans or anyone else sitting in it for that matter but I've always wanted to fill his roll in the family. Grandparents like that are like a stationary sun that the rest of the family orbits at Christmas whilst generally being sat in the best chair in the house having plates of buffet food and drink brought to them.

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I'm lucky to still have both parents in relative tact, although they give me the occasional scare. I have incredibly fond memories of Christmas with my family as a nipper. I shudder to think what it would be like without them.

I hope you have a good one Riddum. Do your best to make it about your niece as much as you can. In the next couple of years when she starts to become aware of it, that will be awesome.

Did your dad have any traditions such as passing out the gifts, cutting the turkey etc? If so, maybe when you feel ready you can carry that tradition on.

Thanks Kaz, my dad never really had any traditions to be honest, apart from prepping veg lol. My niece is the one family member I've gone overboard on buying for, which will come back to bite me every birthday and Christmas till she's 18 haha

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My Christmases are usually spent at home, the grandparents (mum’s side) usually come to stay with us for a few days, which is pleasant enough until the conversation dries up and the shit telly goes on. I usually take charge of the food as doing something useful allows me to avoid awkward silences and have a few sneaky beers when no one’s watching (none of the family really drink apart from me).

 

Unfortunately my aunt and uncle will also be coming down this year, who are almost diametrically opposite to me in that; they live in rural Cornwall, don’t work, find talking about cars and motorway traffic interesting and are generally aloof about most things going on. If the topic of Brexit comes up I think chewing glass is more appealing than hearing about how they voted to ‘take back control’.

 

I’ll go and see my dad and his missus either on Boxing Day or the day after, which is when things get better due to parking my arse in front of the telly for festive footy and turkey curry, Dad will probably have some nice whiskey in too. I’d imagine there’ll be several pub visits and catchups with friends also, I do love Christmas for that, a nice warm boozer and several pints while you’re off work is one of the best things about the season.

 

New Years is always good as well, in what is going to be a nice change I’m spending it in Liverpool this year :) 

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We've got a reasonably settled tradition but it's changed a bit this year.  I'm off work from the 23rd-4th so it'll go a bit like this. 

 

23/24th me and my missus will spend with my son  then I'll drop him off at his mums around dinner time. 

 

We'll set up all of his presents for him coming back on Christmas Day, around 6pm.  Christmas Morning we'll drive down to Greenock to see my missus' dad before heading back up the road to my sister's house for dinner.  This is unheard of because we normally go to my mums.  My sister has been at her for about a decade to let her do it at hers and she's finally given in this year.  All this really means is they'll bicker in a different kitchen about who's doing what part.

 

Christmas Night we'll all head up to our house once I've picked my boy up and we'll watch him open his presents before playing board games.  Everyone will have their TiVo set so we can catch up with the shite telly over the next few days.

 

Boxing day and 27th will be more time with the wee man and family before he goes to his mums for a few days.  In that time we'll be visiting friends on the 28th then having my best mate and his missus staying with us on the 29th. 

 

All in all it's looking to be a great time

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I’d imagine there’ll be several pub visits and catchups with friends also, I do love Christmas for that, a nice warm boozer and several pints while you’re off work is one of the best things about the season.

 

 

Amen to that sentiment. The 28th curry bonanza I mentioned in the original post is book-ended by lengthy trips to pubs in Bath with warm ale and warmer fires. I think we camped in The Bell for about six hours last year. It's also that acceptable time of year (in my head) when I can go to a pub and order a port or Madeira without being outed.

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I’d imagine there’ll be several pub visits and catchups with friends also, I do love Christmas for that, a nice warm boozer and several pints while you’re off work is one of the best things about the season.

 

 

Amen to that sentiment. The 28th curry bonanza I mentioned in the original post is book-ended by lengthy trips to pubs in Bath with warm ale and warmer fires. I think we camped in The Bell for about six hours last year. It's also that acceptable time of year (in my head) when I can go to a pub and order a port or Madeira without being outed.

 

 

Add me to the "friends + christmas time" stuff.

 

My best mate lives in Edinburgh so I dont see him much (I live in central-ish England), and he's paying his annual Christmas visit which means we'll be off to the pub. We're also getting together with our old mates for a big meal as well, so that'll nice.

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Gus (regarding new Year walks). It's all about the right company with big gatherings and the like to be fair. I'm someone who can present with a faux-sociable personality, when really, I like people for short bursts of time, a few hours but then need to bugger off to get some head space.

So really, the bigger the group the better, because you can slink off for a bit, my wife isn't left on her Todd, no-one really cares if you nip off.

The hill walking isn't an expedition either, just a good 1-2 hours walking through and up gentle hills. Enough to make you go 'Ahhh' when you sit down with a pint in front of a fire. Cracking stuff.

Will be different this year though due to baby. Shit, haven't actually thought about that at all until now. Maybe a new tradition is on the cards then.

 

Riddum - my eldest niece is now 16, and Yup, you can't help spend more each year. It's that nightmare that some shiny stickers of butterflies and a cuddly toy isn't sufficient anymore, there's a pressure to keep with the times.

I asked my brother what my youngest niece is currently in to, so at least I could get her something related to an interest, that she will use and won't discard, get left/thrown as waste.

The answer was in relation to a make up some youtuber now flogs... my niece is 9.

 

 

Otto - are you going in to pool city centre? If so, be prepared, it's absolutely Fucking crackers over New Year.

You'd expect and hope so too really. However, brilliant laugh though. You meeting up with any pals or having a quieter family doo?

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Will be different this year though due to baby. Shit, haven't actually thought about that at all until now. Maybe a new tradition is on the cards then.

It's just one more little person your wife can talk to while you sneak off to read the UKFF. :)

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