Main Event Jabronis

[tiger_rick]

You can take three lower card guys from the periods set below and add them to the WWE now at the top of the card. Just kidding about them being jabronis but no-one who was World Champion, no-one who was pushed heavily with a mid-card belt and no-one who main evented PPVs on his todd.

 

Who would you have?

 

Pick 1 - WWF 1985-95

 

Pick 2 - WCW 96-2000

 

Pick 3 - Any other time period or territory.

 

My first pick is The Barbarian. He had a fantastic look, perhaps for obvious reasons, but moved like a dirt bike. He was lightening, he could fly from the top, his work was snug and he could sell like a good 'un. I've always had a lot of love for the Faces of Fear and the early 90s Barbarian was the business. Amazing to think he was like 42 at the time.

 

Pick 2 - Buff Bagwell. Just edges out Jerry Flynn. Mid 90s, pre-fucked up neck Buff would be a fantastic heel on the current roster. Such a massive douchebag who dressed like a tit and absolutely believed every work that came out of his own mouth. But he could work too. He had the character down to a fine art. I'd see him as a main event Miz. Definitely wouldn't want his old lady anywhere near it though.

 

Pick 3 - Butch Reed. This fucker would stand out now. The size, the look, could talk, could go. Never quite made it big anywhere but had some great runs. He'd be on top nowadays. I'd Bill Watts him.

[garynysmon]

Pick 1 - I want to say Bam Bam Bigelow, but not sure he fits the criteria as he main evented WM11. In that case, Kerry Von Erich. Had the look and didn't seem to miss a step (boom boom) even with one leg.

 

Pick 2 - Alex Wright. He was vastly underrated in my book.

 

Pick 3 - Marc Rollerball Rocco would have been a hit in the WWF, especially these days when size doesn't seem to matter.

[Ambulance Chaser]

1. Can I say Arn Anderson for this. He isn't best known for his WWF run but he was there, and I'd have loved to see him have a run as a single at the top with Bobby as his manager, I basically just love Arn Anderson.

 

2. Stick me on board for Alex Wright, his dancing and his coat were awesome, I love watching his matches.

 

3. Jerry Lynn, he can come in and make a mockery of these flip flopping berks and show them how it's done, what an underrated performer.

[PSF]

1. Jake the Snake Roberts - Hardly a Jabroni, but never main evented in WWE or even held a title. He would be fantastic now and be like the love child of Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose. Hardly one of the greatest ever in the ring in regards to match quality, but his character work, ring psychology and overall aura would be enough to get him over like rover now days.

Never watched much WCW, so this is a little harder, but I'm going to go with Meng. Always found him more entertaining as Meng than Haku. Loved the Tongan Death Grip too. Meng vs Rusev would blow my mind.

Marty Jones - Fantastic worker and could go like no bodies business. In this work rate society we now have, he would flurrish. Although maybe never to the heights of HHH, Cena or Orton, but could certainly fill the role of Angle, Regal or Finlay of putting on great matches with anyone and making them look like a star.

[Liam O'Rourke]

I'm going very heel-centric, but I'm picking guys who can stir negative emotions, hopefully the right babyface comes along to play off them.

 

1. Adrian Adonis - I was tempted to say Tully Blanchard or Terry Funk, but I'll disqualify that since they got big singles runs elsewhere, and besides, I love me some Adorable Adrian. A old school bump machine, could get great heat, and in an era where being fat doesn't stop you being Universal Champion he'd be good in any role.

 

2. Brian Pillman - Early 96, he was so on fire, and he'd be top heel today easily, probably with the world wanting him as a babyface. Great wrestler, but really found himself at this time, brilliant promos and performer, a creative son of a gun and a main event superstar that should have been. So much to say about my thoughts on Pillman, but I'll save it for another time.

 

3. Art Barr. I was tempted to say Buddy Rose, but I'll stick with Art because he just had a great type of heel personality that would shine better in the modern setting. The Love Machine of 1994 was fabulous to watch, and you could feel the hatred and arrogance in the air.

[cobra_gordo]

1. Crush. I'd have him has my giant, superhero babyface. I loved him as a kid, he was mega over despite never being a main eventer or holding any belts outside the tag titles with Demolition. He can keep the head crushing finisher too.

 

2. Tank Abbott. Wasn't in WCW for too long and not exactly king of work rate but had genuine credibility as a hardcase and seemed like someone who could probably murder you with one punch whilst also eating a sausage roll.

 

3. Steve Blackman. I was going to go for a flippy floppy cruiserweight but bollocks to it. Held the hardcore title but so did everyone else during the Attitude Era so I'm not disqualifying him on those grounds. He was mega over as a face or heel but I liked him best when he was in stoney eyed killer mode. The guy wasn't the greatest talker but I was quite fond of his angry, gravelly promo style.

[Scott Malbranque]

Pick 1 - Paul Roma. I absolutely loved his physique, his look, his face and that filthy, obnoxious, loathsome, arrogant swagger he naturally had, even as a babyface, which made him detestable – or at the very least, unlikeable – to most.
Looking back, I still enjoy his matches and think Power and Glory were one of the biggest missed opportunities in the tag team division back then.

 

Pick 2 – Mike Enos.  Was like Bill Pullmans head stuck on Justin ‘Hawk’ Bradshaws body. He just made me smile whenever I saw him. No other reason than that.

 

 Pick 3 – Planet Stasiak. That gimmick was fucking gold and shove that up yizzer bollixes. That man had the funniest, craziest face I have ever seen and the character could have been WWEs version of a Looney Tunes character only for the whole thing was a big punishment for the cunt. I love that gimmick and I love that man.
Maybe it’s best he was only around briefly, but for those few months, he was my champion and forever my perennial main event jabroni.

[tiger_rick]

No love for Shane Douglas? Thought PowerButchi would be straight on to that one.

[NEWM]

Pick 1 - The Big Boss Man would satisfy this on technicalities, but I imagine he was too over for this to really count. So based on my love for him in another thread the other day, I'll go with Adam Bomb. And as a babyface as well. He was so big and had such a brilliant look, but endless defeats to pretty ordinary blokes when it really mattered put an irreversible dent in his credibility. Vince would absolutely not give up on a guy with his size and look ordinarily, but I really thing the stereo rise of Kevin Nash pretty much left him fucked. Class gear usually, too.

 

Pick 2 - Chris Candido was pretty fucked by this point I know, but I thought his No Gimmicks Needed run in ECW proper got him over the Skip thing, and I always felt his odd charisma helped deal with how short he was. And The Blonde Bombshell was a brilliant name for a brilliant move and we were chucking babies in the air watching the video downloaded off Limewire of him doing it to Justin Credible at Heatwave and drunk stumble selling it afterwards. It needed a good airing in WCW at the time. He must have been seriously goosed on substances and/or still carrying Clique baggage to not get rehired by WWE in the late 90s.

 

Pick 3 - Up until recently, it could have been one of about 8 TNA near misses, but WWE are doing a fantastic job picking up the pieces there, so I'll be the cliched 2003 prick and go with Sean O'Haire. Yeah the stories go he was a bit of an nightmare backstage and all that, but there's a guy that needed a system like they have today to turn into something more significant. Of course we've all debated the vignettes a million times but I'll die on a hill over how brilliant they were, and a tighter team would have translated that into a workable wrestling character. Definitely. And then a fucking massive Seanton Bomb would have sealed the deal.

[Sergio Mendacious]

1 - Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray: just a beautiful sleazeball of a man, I'd have have do the DDP "came into a bunch of money" (literally, probably), meaning he could bring in some birds, maybe a tag team for backup, and buy his way into title matches. He'd have a tough bloke bodyguard, too...

 

2 - Pezzer Saturn: I loved Saturn in WCW - great look, a badass, seemed a bit mental. I'd have him in the Diesel role, fucking chumps up for Gigolo Jim, but eventually turning face and going after the title as a man who knows all of Del Ray's tricks, and can't be bought.

 

3 - Kevin Sullivan: Always. I love the Devil. I love his matches, I love his evil gimmick, I Love his idiotic accent. I'd obviously have him as the head of a group of misfits and weirdos, fighting heels and faces alike.

[Wrasslin]

1. 1-2-3 Kid. Short shock main event title reign would have been compelling TV. Then a bunch of challengers queuing up as they see an easy chance to take the Title. Think IRS seeing this as his big chance to grab the belt but The Kid somehow surviving. Then Diesel kills him or something.

 

2. Raven. He was cool as shit with the flock. You could even have face turned the flock against the nWo without changing it too much. Interesting dynamic, the nWo not having the usual numbers advantage. Raven taking the big belt off Hogan in some huge clusterfuck Raven's Rules match would be a lot of fun. 

 

3. Gangrel . . . I just fucking love Gangrel. Could have had an expanded Brood and essentially cult leadered his way to the main event. 

[Tiger Mask V]

Pick One - Dynamite Kid: Globally recognised for his legendary matches with Tiger Mask in NJPW, never really got the same amount of success in WWF. For me, the greatest wrestler thats ever lived.

 

Pick Two - Meng: His brutal stories have become legendary, would have been great to have seen him have a main event run around the end of WCW.

 

Pick Three - Jim Breaks: Always loved Jim Breaks, his villainous yet comic persona was fantastic. The way he used to jump up and down whining when something didn't go his way, was simply magical.