Book Bound For Glory this Sunday if WWE decides to buy it

[simonworden]

I'd run the PPV and love to simply have either it open and the tea boy from Stamford walk down explaining noone else in WWE wanted to come to here tonight so he got lumbered with it. Read a statement that basically says everything belongs to WWE now and you can see it all for 9.99 and Mr Mcmahon will offer no refunds to the few hundred PPV subscribers but they can have a free month on the WWE network. Then walk up the ramp to a gimmicked light switch and just turn it off while all the lights flick off in the impact zone. 10 minute long PPV.

 

Failing that I would still do the promo but leave the light switch to the end and essentially run all jobber matches with TNA guys being the jobbers and pinned in 2 minutes or less by low end WWE guys. So something like this

 

Slater def Lashley main event

Alisha Fox def Gail Kim

Jindar Mahal Def The TNA Indian Guy

TJ Perkins destroys the whole of the X Division in 1 minutes

The Ascension Def Decay

Vince Mcmahon def Billy Corgan in an arm wrestling match

[neil is brill]

On Saturday Night, I'd have the TNA website announce that a huge announcement will be made at Bound For Glory.

 

Minutes later, TNA Twitter account announces all of the BFG results. Dixie tweets several wrestlers asking how to delete tweets, not realising that they aren't DM's.

 

Matt and Jeff Hardy announce their departures on Sunday morning.

 

Opening segment of Bound For Glory, Mike Tenay comes out to announce that the big announcement will be announced later tonight.

 

Bram arrives to announce that he has a new contract.

 

Gunner & Samuel Shaw return at Bound For Glory, both are announced for a match later in the evening.

 

Bram is given a new contract.

 

Gunner vs. Samuel Shaw doesn't happen as they both announce that they have parted ways with TNA.

 

Random shot of the sold out crowd of 26 people chanting "This Is Awesome."

 

Suddenly Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. He announces that the huge announcement will be made on Raw tomorrow night.

 

The next night on Raw, TNA doesn't even get mentioned because since when do WWE ever acknowledge TNA?

[Adam Turner]

Fuck knows where I read it and God knows where you can find it: but there was an identical topic about how to book the last Impact years ago and somebody wrote this massive post about how the last episode of Impact should basically be a gangbang with the whole roster fucking Dixie Carter. The post went into deep detail about all the roster having their way with her. 

[Liam O'Rourke]

You run the PPV as normal. At the end, we go to a scene where Dixie Carter wakes up in Nashville. She walks to the bathroom and opens the shower door. It's Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett thanks her for not letting him drive drunk last night when they were negotiating the TNA sale. He also says he's sorry to hear she has no interest, and that he'll just close the doors instead.

[mim731]

You run the PPV as normal. At the end, we go to a scene where Dixie Carter wakes up in Nashville. She walks to the bathroom and opens the shower door. It's Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett thanks her for not letting him drive drunk last night when they were negotiating the TNA sale. He also says he's sorry to hear she has no interest, and that he'll just close the doors instead.

 

Amazing. Although I think I'd have the whole of TNA having been a daydream in the brain of a check out attendant in Asda.

[PowerButchi]

 

You run the PPV as normal. At the end, we go to a scene where Dixie Carter wakes up in Nashville. She walks to the bathroom and opens the shower door. It's Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett thanks her for not letting him drive drunk last night when they were negotiating the TNA sale. He also says he's sorry to hear she has no interest, and that he'll just close the doors instead.

 

Amazing. Although I think I'd have the whole of TNA having been a daydream in the brain of a check out attendant in Asda.

 

 

Someone HAS to make a closing montage of TNA moments at the end of the last show to this tune.

 

[Harry Wiseau]

if they do go with the Crossroads theme idea then surely Corgan can pull some strings with McCartney and get the Wings version from Venus & Mars. they're both cack handed so surely Sir Paul will be ok with it, the Wings version was used when something dramatic happened in later episodes and it has the bonus of being shorter than the Tony Hatch 7" version, so they wouldn't have to pad out the highlights video so much.

[digitalversicolor]

I don't know why but I was reading the last few comments and remembered chokeout's masterpiece and felt it definitely worthy of a re-post:

 

 

Nobody can watch that and not enjoy it.

[The Clint]

I reckon the theme tune from Eldorado would be more fitting.  Something else that was doomed right from the off.

[Wrasslin]

Karen Angle wakes up in bed after a disturbing dream . . . out the shower walks Kurt angle . . .

 

Karen: Oh I just had the most disturbing dream. I was married to Jeff Jarrett and you'd left TNA, and we tried to start this other promotion but no one was sure what it was . . . it was all so confusing . . .  Matt Hardy kept shouting Delete . . .all so real . . .

 

Taking his wife in his arms Kurt looks perplexed

 

Kurt:  What's TNA? Come on, we have to go to Raw tomorrow night. 

 

 

EDIT:    DAMN SOMEONE BEAT ME TO THIS!

[Harry Wiseau]

have Jimmy Corkhill sat in the front row throughout the show looking in turns sad, angry and the other one, then when it finishes keep the camera on him as the crowd leave, shouldn't take long. then Jimmy gets out of his chair, runs backstage, turns on all the taps runs back into the ring, spraypaints "GAME OVER" on the canvas, winks at the camera and fucks off. fade to black.

[Snitsky's back acne]

So, the Broken Matt Hardy ending with 'Delete' - yes.

 

Matt's in the ring talking about his vision for 'total deletion'. Vanguard 1 flies in. We see a hologram of Vince McMahon projected from Vanguard 1. He says something like 'You have done good work Matthew. I knew I could rely on you. The universe awaits you' and then laughs maniacally. Matt then mentions something about returning to the evil empire and laughs along with him before chanting 'Delete! Delete! Delete TNA!! Delete!!'

 

Cut to King Maxel in a room with a remote control. He does the 'delete' hand gesture, smiles and then presses a button on the remote.

Screen implodes to just a small white dot.

 

End of TNA.

[PowerButchi]

As the musical sting from Grange Hill plays.

 

have Jimmy Corkhill sat in the front row throughout the show looking in turns sad, angry and the other one, then when it finishes keep the camera on him as the crowd leave, shouldn't take long. then Jimmy gets out of his chair, runs backstage, turns on all the taps runs back into the ring, spraypaints "GAME OVER" on the canvas, winks at the camera and fucks off. fade to black.

[PowerButchi]

Dixie leaves the impact zone first thing in the morning leaving a note for Bob Ryder, she's enabling him by staying, she's carrying nothing but a small overnight bag and walks down the street with a sad face, a dog barking in the early morning air. Nobody is awake yet, as she continues her walk through Universal Studios and past Pete Beale's old market stall. She takes one last look at the Impact Zone, her face full of emotion, she wants to cry. her face breaks into great great sadness. She will not cry. SHE WILL NOT CRY! And as the music reaches it's height she leaves Universal Studios for the last time (before coming back in 6 years when she's visited by the ghost of Vince Russo and takes an overdose).

 

[Gay as FOOK]

have Jimmy Corkhill sat in the front row throughout the show looking in turns sad, angry and the other one, then when it finishes keep the camera on him as the crowd leave, shouldn't take long. then Jimmy gets out of his chair, runs backstage, turns on all the taps runs back into the ring, spraypaints "GAME OVER" on the canvas, winks at the camera and fucks off. fade to black.

Amazing. I completely forgot that Brookside ended with what was more or less a worked shoot.