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Book Bound For Glory this Sunday if WWE decides to buy it


IANdrewDiceClay

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On the Observer today, old Melty says that Corgan has until Friday to buy TNA (because that's the last business day and there's nobody to put the money up for the PPV on Sunday or the TV tapings that follow it). Otherwise WWE might just swoop in and buy it and shut it down, since its easily to put a deal together quickly if you plan to just empty the warehouse and not run another show. I imagine Corgan's going to buy it, because he seems fucking desperate to, but you never no.

 

But for argument sake, how would you book BFG if WWE did buy it? Using the Nitro/Raw 2001 vibe. Would you have the Wyatts show up and have a scrap with the Broken Brothers? Would you have Mick Foley show up and finally resolve why he suddenly didnt have shares in TNA anymore after saying he did for a year?

 

Go.

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Some sitting on the bog ideas:

The show opens with hogan coming down to the ring, still dragging Dixie Carter on his leg and announces the sale.

 

Drew beats Rex when 3mb reunite.

 

Cody Rhodes is heading to make his big entrance when he catches Hunters eye, hangs his head, and gets his coat.

 

Reigns over Lashley in 30 seconds for the title.

 

TJ Perkins over Manik.

 

Main event is AJ vs Joe in a "leave the memories alone" match, where the whole thing is shot in a gold tinge. aAj wins, and holds up his WWE title with a big grin. Both men are declared the winner as they got out of the company.

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Jarrett returns. Brings Team 3D, Sting and Angle with him during a Beatdown between the former WWE guys (not including those in TNA who didn't last too long) and those from TNA who've been there a while much akin to how the ECW alumni in WWE turn on them to form The Alliance. The TNA Hall Of Famers (which, let's be honest. Was a way of convincing them to stay. Angle lasted longest out of them) take the mics after Earl Hebner takes part in yet another Screwjob rehash with EC3 winning the Title which caused the brawl. Then Vince pops up on the screen claiming all the WWE castoffs were merely moles and NXT was their diabolical masterplan to TAKEOVER. Then, Marilyn Manson who was there to sing The Nobodies for Decay's entrance ask the audience "Are you ready?" And unmasks to reveal Triple H like Bischoff did as the Priest for Billy & Chuck's wedding who reveals he has the deed, but they promise Dixie "Nice Lady, Terrible Businesswoman" Carter always has a job at the top in WWE... As an office junior on the top floor of headquarters. Then, they do what they originally planned with WCW which was carry it on as a separate entity with the location moved to The Hardys backyard and part ownership is sold to The Asylum (they're the lot who do the mockbusters) and they thrive on the same sort of stuff The Final Deletion became. And lastly, Bram signs 7 multi year deals with WWE.

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Been looking for an excuse to turn Apollo Crews into Heel Doink to give him a bit of personality so this seems like the perfect opportunity for it. Have baldy go for the big final bid in the middle of the ring with a briefcase full of money, evil Doink music hits and there's Apollo in the getup unicycling to the ring juggling and smoking and then full on GBH's Billy Corgan with a cosh, and offers his bid money to orphans at ringside only to snatch it away and burn them on his cigar.

 

Vince tears from up out of the canvas under the ring with smoke spewing all over the place with a grin plastered all over his face and the two embrace as the show closes.

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The show starts with a pre taped Shane McMahon promo on the set of Smackdown. He tells the world that he bought his competition, which confuses the audience to it's core because TNA has never been competition for WWE.

 

Throughout the show, we see Shane and Daniel Bryan sitting on a couch snuggling in a series of pre-taped segments. They see Cody. "Did you know Cody wanted to get these big ass breast implants?" Shane asks Daniel.

 

In another backstage skit, AJ Styles shows off his marvelous No Mercy t-shirt to Shane and Daniel, then makes sure if Shane wants to buy TNA, as its a "bloody awful place".

 

Then the big contract signing. Of course, Shane doesn't work Sundays if they're not PPVS, so he's doing a promo in his study via Skype. He rants about how he has squeezed the life out of TNA (although they really did that to themselves). He then demands Dixie to sign the contracts at No Mercy before he appears in a series of pointless vignettes at the show.

 

Just as he was finishing, Shane's three sons enter the Impact Zone. "Surprise, Dad!" the oldest one says to the screen. Shane is baffled, but then the middle child explains the contracts do say McMahon, but it's whoever his kids are called.

 

But it was a swerve! Shane didn't really want to buy TNA. He just said he would for banter. The three McMahon kids stand in the ring looking fucking stupid as everyone in the crowd wonders what the fuck is happening. Will we get answers!?! TUNE IN FOR IMPACT...oh it won't exist anymore.

 

A true TNA ending.

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The first hour should just be Don West selling whatever merch is left in the warehouse, as they uncover the corpse of Rellik (That's killer backwards). He's not really dead, but you know, it's a shoot so we're not supposed to know that). Everyone panics, except Vince Russo who heads to the ring.  

 

Then have Russo pop out and explain how his master plan to book TNA to fail has reached it's conclusion, and the whole companies existence was the greatest swerve in wrestling history, one he was ready to kill for. He does not explain the reference, because this is a shoot. He then takes a shit in the ring, before the police cart him off. 

 

As the arena empties, and the lights go off Abyss remains sitting in the corner having a cry-wank as the company goes off air forever, with Shane Douglas cackling off camera for no apparent reason.

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I'd genuinely love a LOLTNA compilation. Every now and then I see things on Twitter and I realise how much nonsense I've missed by not watching. There's a hashtag going on at the moment, #DixieLand, and I've already seen Brooke Hogan falling off ramps and D-Von's kids turning on him. Brilliant.

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