The "I've just watched ..." thread

[Jazzy G]

Hawk Vs Flair from Bunkhouse Stampede on the network. Hawk totally no-sells any of Flair's offence and proceeds to stiff on him the best he can. They have to go with a DQ finish. It's frankly unwatchable, as is most of the rest of the card. Zbysko Vs Windham is decent, though.

[Phil Austin]

Hawk Vs Flair from Bunkhouse Stampede on the network. Hawk totally no-sells any of Flair's offence and proceeds to stiff on him the best he can. They have to go with a DQ finish. It's frankly unwatchable, as is most of the rest of the card. Zbysko Vs Windham is decent, though.

 

Yeah, one of the first shows I chose to watch, and regretted it.

[NEWM]

I hate watching Hawk in singles matches playing the cunt like that. He does it in tag matches too sometimes but it looks less on display for some reason, maybe for the extra bodies. It's very apparent when he's just in there giving zero to some poor sod having to work around the proverbial broomstick (and getting their arse kicked by it)

[WyattSheepMask]

I always remember him playing a blinder of a great no sell when he lost to Kurasawa at Halloween Havoc. Straight up after the pin and then gets on middle/Bret's rope and celebrates...despite having lost.

[Jazzy G]

The Roadies turn up in some of the 86-87 NWA World Championship Wrestling episodes on the Network and they always take such ridiculous liberties stiffing on their opponents, and they're not just ham & eggers, these guys are obviously Crockett's territory guys drafted into the tapings for a bit of exposure because they work matches against each other. I guess Hawk acting like that in singles matches was his way of compensating for the fact that he normally took the "babyface beats" and made the hot tag to Animal when they were teaming. Their seeming inevitable feud with the Russians has car crash written all over it. Two teams of hosses pounding the bejesus out of each other. If that's not the dictionary definition of a slobberknocker then I don't know what is.

[Otto Dem Wanz]

I watched Floyd Mayweather vs Big Show from Wrestlemania 24 last night – it’s a superb match, really exciting, and not just in a “for a celebrity” way but objectively too. Mayweather has an abundance of star quality and has an amazing aura, he’s such a natural heel which is probably best shown by his (woeful) entrance music where he raps himself to the ring. His posse are great value too especially the bloke in the white suit – ‘We out, we out!’
 

It makes me slightly sad boxing had him as an attraction and turned him into a cash cow whilst wrestling doesn’t seem to be able to currently create stars, even with certain outcomes within their control. I’d love to see him do another match; to play fantasy booker for a second I think he could achieve something really special with Rusev if given the chance.

[neil is brill]

I always remember him playing a blinder of a great no sell when he lost to Kurasawa at Halloween Havoc. Straight up after the pin and then gets on middle/Bret's rope and celebrates...despite having lost.

 

I watch OSW Review too.

[The Gaffer]

Stuck for a show last night because I had pretty much the whole night to kill then Survivor Series 2002 struck me like a lightening bolt.

 

So apart from the electric atmosphere all night long we get, in terms of matches and moments:

 

-A fantastic opener with the Dudleyz reuniting in an amazing feel good moment.

-Kidman and Noble in one of the better Ruthless Agression era cruiserweight matches.

-Trish and Victoria having a proper go at a hardcore women's match.

-The Heyman turn and shock of Big Show winning after a short, inoffensive match.

-The Smackdown 6 triple threat. Yeah.

-Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy diss New York. Sirens. Steiner. Gimme the fucking mic.

-The original, best EC match ever. Shawn winning the belt in his poo pants with another amazing feel good moment.

 

That's absolutely one of the best cards ever. It's such a slick, varied, fun show.

[Otto Dem Wanz]

I recall when I was getting back into wrestling around 2004/05 I was in HMV deciding whether to get Survivors 2002 or Cyber Sunday 2004 on DVD (they were both on sale I think) not knowing anything about how good either of them were.

 

I chose the former and I’m thankful that I did, magnificent show as you say.

[Porkchopcash]

You missed out the Schoolgirl outfit diva match though.

[The Clint]

Stuck for a show last night because I had pretty much the whole night to kill then Survivor Series 2002 struck me like a lightening bolt.

 

So apart from the electric atmosphere all night long we get, in terms of matches and moments:

 

-A fantastic opener with the Dudleyz reuniting in an amazing feel good moment.

-Kidman and Noble in one of the better Ruthless Agression era cruiserweight matches.

-Trish and Victoria having a proper go at a hardcore women's match.

-The Heyman turn and shock of Big Show winning after a short, inoffensive match.

-The Smackdown 6 triple threat. Yeah.

-Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy diss New York. Sirens. Steiner. Gimme the fucking mic.

-The original, best EC match ever. Shawn winning the belt in his poo pants with another amazing feel good moment.

 

That's absolutely one of the best cards ever. It's such a slick, varied, fun show.

 

For some reason I like the way Bischoff introduces the chamber match.  He does a good job of getting the crowd ready for it. Also when he tries to slide one of the doors shut by pulling on the wrong side always raises a chuckle too. 

Edited October 4, 2016 by The Clint

[Liam O'Rourke]

As I find myself with my girlfriend out for the night, I've decided to offer up a review of WCW Nitro from April 17th, 2000. This is one week after the Russo/Bischoff debut and restart episode of Nitro, and one night after Spring Stampede where every vacant title found a new home. Many folks have seen or remember the first show Russo and Bischoff put on together ("What's the matter Sid, no scissors?"), so let's see how they followed it up.

Nitro begins with a 2 minute collection of photos courtesy of WCW Magazine to try and sum up what happened at Spring Stampede. Half of what they decided to show is completely unnecessary ("You can't overlook the team of Harlem Heat 2000"), and looked like a recap of one month of TV twists and turns. Among the final pictures shown are Jeff Jarrett holding his first World Title, and a hilarious side on shot of a smug Eric Bischoff.

We cut to a live shot, and we're backstage showing a bunch of loser security geeks checking the doors to make sure they are closed, as Tony Skee-a-vone informs us that the New Blood want to keep the Millionaire's Club out of the building. One of them is a fat guy with a ponytail, who offers "nobody is going to get through that door, it is rock solid baby!", to a fellow guard who could have replaced Evan Karagias in 3 Count. A cop elsewhere says "I've seen them, they're big guys, but they're not getting through here." Another - "no way they're going to get through us". Well, that's a relief.

We go to the opening Nitro video. Oh, it's not a video, it's a 5 second clip of the Nitro logo. I guess show opening videos take too long. Pyro and Ballyhoo kicks us off in the arena, and they spent a few quid on that. Absurd parade music plays as flyers fall from the rafters, followed by red confetti. It's Vince Russo, of course, holding his baseball bat aloft, clearly proud of the artistic storytelling masterpiece that we're sure to witness tonight. He's flanked by a few riot police, and right behind him, the all star team of Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas, the new WCW tag champions. Red balloons begin to fall to add to the ambiance, as we get a shot of Buff's attire - blue denim jeans, a tight blue under-armour looking shirt and red "Buff" cap. Fucking hell. Chris Candido is bringing up the rear with the Cruiser Strap, accompanied by Sunny's fat sister. Hold on.

Scott Hudson aids the narrative with a helpful. "Look at this mess! This arena is awash in red. The New Blood. Get it?" Thanks, Scott. I love how I just know there will be about 50 things on this show not explained, and that's the thing they took the time to make crystal clear.

Oh, Scott Steiner just walked into the ring as well holding the US Title. One guy in this scene does not belong. Sunny's fat sister is in the ring doing the dance I imagine she did when she found out WWE was paying for her rehab again.

"You can boo all you want, that doesn't change the fact I'm better than you", says Russo to kick us off to a wild smattering of indifference. Crowd starts popping the ridiculous amount of balloons, as Lex Luger weeps quietly backstage.

Russo says to Candido "I told you there'd be Sunny days ahead!". He follows up that zinger with "That other small promotion where I used to work, the WWF? There was an old crotchety old man who used to wear a black cowboy hat. And this old man did everything he could to keep my next guest down. And let me just say right now, J.R., you can kiss my ass!" What a wanker. You can tell he thinks he's amazing saying this too. "What could the WWF commentator do to keep a wrestler down?", ask the folks at home, who click to Raw to find out what JR is up to. Not the live crowd, they're still popping balloons. Mark Madden follows it up with "that statement's right on the money fellas". If only somebody explained those red balloons again, I forgot what they meant.

Out comes Jeff Jarrett with a gaudy yellow sleeveless shirt, Slapnuts guitar and WCW title, and what a picture this is. God bless Jeff, but he looks so midcard. "There's no denying Jeff Jarrett's greatness now", says Madden. We cut to a fan holding a sign that reads "Hey Billy".

Jarrett gets some decent heat at first, which quickly falters, as he follows up with "Good Ol' J.R....you can kiss my ass!" Alright. He segues to DDP, and then out of nowhere says "I was a little pissed off when I wasn't asked to be in Ready To Rumble". Don't be, mate. Jarrett then offers DDP a Triple Cage Match for Slamboree for the World Title. Nice of the heel to do that. Maybe he's not a bad bloke after all. Russo cuts off his world champion to introduce Eric Bischoff, who comes out with a very conservatively dressed Kimberly. To fast forward, Kimberly implies she's nailing Eric and says she was in DDP's shadow and he's selfish. Fans lost interest, and I myself started to wonder if a go on Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 was in order. However, a fancy car speeds up backstage. Who is this? It's DDP. He's confronted by a security guy, who looks like Shawn Stasiak in a t-shirt, and DDP offers up "I don't give a damn what Eric Bischoff has to say", with a delivery that no doubt was right on the verge of considerion by the Academy that year. Page punches him in the face, laying out three more members of the crack staff. Never would have happened if he'd gone to that fat guy's door.

The camera follows Page backstage and through Gorilla. What's that? Why, that's Shawn Stasiak and Curt Hennig walking right past him desperately trying not to be seen together. It's the little details that make Russo a genius.

DDP walks to the ring, right through the riot squad who don't give a fuck. He starts fighting the New Blood. The Riot Squad enter the ring and start fighting the New Blood too. Swerve! Of course, it's executed about as well as a Great Khali La Magistral, since Luger just walks in with his helmet off, while Sting and Flair are fucking around with shitty looking offense on the New Blood trying to maintain anonymity. Madden just fucks the whole thing revealing it's the Millionaire's Club. The fans peg it and cheer. I love artistic licence in wrestling, because you know why they do this angle the way they do, but those three bellends were right there with nightsticks the entire time, able to flatten these idiots at will, and they let themselves be insulted for 17 minutes until DDP got there. Of course, DDP was getting the shit kicked out of him anyway, but hey.

We're backstage next with Eric Bischoff browbeating a ragtag clan, including JERRY FLYNN! Sadly no shot from the back to reveal the status of his rat-tail at this time. Booker T is standing there in a suit looking like a Home Bargains version of The Rock, cocking his head in the exact same way when his name is called. Fuck me this suit. Bischoff insults him for his sunglasses, which are by far the best part of this get-up. Yellow trousers so high that Vince McMahon called and told him he looked like a dick, a jacket that I saw my uncle parachute with during his RAF days, and an unbuttoned yellow silk shirt to complete the ensemble. Fuck me the colour is putrid, it looks like dog sick. The security "guards" (four marks in T-shirts) enter and tell Bischoff to keep his money, they don't want to get beaten up by wrestlers. Eric looks distressed. After their performance I don't see why he cares. The phone rings, and Bischoff answers. "Hey EZE, it's your old friend!", we all hear. "I'll be kicking your ass in about five minutes!" Bischoff facepalms, probably for the 15th time that day. It's his friend Hulk.

The first match is up, and whaddya know, it's Shawn Stasiak Vs. Curt Hennig! Shawn Stasiak is billed as "The Perfect One" (with a knock-off Mr. Perfect theme), which is akin to dubbing Eva Marie the Queen of Strong Style. And to accentuate his flawless gimmick, he is wearing a pair of tights that reads "SS", with the second S the wrong way round. I'd like to think he made them himself. They don't even lock up before Miss Hancock walks out, and instantly overshadows both of them by simply breathing. She's holding a clipboard, and as the commentators speculate on why, Hudson says, "She's not taking notes to call the results in to the sheets, I can tell you that". What the fuck?

Stasiak is so inspiring they're talking about traffic outside. Oh, they're talking about Hogan. Hudson out of nowhere says "Let's not forget that Shawn Stasiak had a relationship with Vince Russo". Explains Meat, I suppose. Hennig seems to be putting in a decent effort, and we get a ref bump. It's the first match on the show, it's gone a few minutes, ref bump. Hennig-Plex but no ref. Stasiak uses knux, and follows it up with "The Perfect Plant", a shitty F5 where Stasiak takes a face bump as well. Stasiak delivers two stomps moments after the bell rings, and we cut away to a motorcade. But in fact, it's police surrounding the car of Hulk Hogan.

Our Terry is wearing a fucking black sweatband on his head. Four armed police surround him and say "we cannot let you inside". Hogan insists he's getting in one way or the other. The police tell him no. After what I counted as eight seconds of silence and staring, the police just change their minds and say "let him in" to each other. WHAT?! Fuck the police and security forces in this town. "One of the biggest staredowns we've ever seen, Hogan and The Wall!" says Tony, apropos of absolutely nothing. Yeh, right up there with him and Andre at Mania 3. Hulk walks to Gorilla, then changes his mind and walks away. We're in the arena, and Hogan walks out the side entrance instead. Seems he got lost. Stasiak is still in the ring, is punched once because his tan is too dark for Hogan's taste, and Hulk throws him out the ring like a used condom and doesn't give him a second thought, before consulting his good friend (?!) Curt Hennig.

We come back from break with American Made playing, and Hogan wants to talk. He's talking about his critics and people saying he's too old. He justified his place saying every wrestler is also getting older every day, and he hasn't lost a step, just half a step. Who the fuck thought that was a clever line? "I'm here to lead by example!", says Hogan. "You can mess with the character of Hulk Hogan, you can mess with the gimmick, you can make me slip on a banana peel for a 1-2-3....but Bischoff and Russo, with what they pulled, they're messing with the man Terry Bollea!" He then tells us Terry Bollea has more heart than every wrestler in the back jack. Looking at his biceps at his age, I'll bet that's true. He calls out Kidman with this humdinger - "I've listened to you cry about how you wanted the big push, how you weren't gonna leave the hotel room until you knew what they were gonna do with you out here, well brother, you make me sick!" Kidman shows up on the video wall with the delightful Torrie Wison, and Eric Bischoff hanging out behind him with TEH WHITE HUMMER! He tells Hogan to come and get him.

Back from another break, and Hogan is setting the new record for trying to be cool with a barrage of "son of a bitch", "Goddammit" and "I'm gonna kick your ass!" that would make a sailor blush. We suddenly cut to a Gene Okerlund interview with Jeff Jarrett. Gene doesn't get time to fart before he gets cut off. He refers to Okerlund as a "Jurassic Slapass", which gets a laugh, and challenges anybody that isn't a millionaire. What superstars.

Terry Funk is out to defend his Hardcore Title against the Wall, in a match that slipped my mind when arguing his case for the Mount Rushmore of All-Arounders show. We cut to a random video of Spring Stampede on Funk's entrance, showing Russo berating Dustin Rhodes, saying he and his father were nothing, and the only time Dustin was something was when he was Goldust, and who created Goldust and put every word in your mouth? Well it wasn't you, asshole.

The match starts with an unprotected chair shot to the head by Funk. And another. And another. Wall cuts off a fourth with a kick to the gut and takes over with pedestrian offense. I can't fathom somebody as awesome as Terry Funk agreeing to a spot that inane. Funk then uses the chair to the back, these ones he sells. Swell. Terry is climbing the ropes with the Wall on the floor. Terry, no. NO. Oh fucking hell. A moonsault from the top to the floor, and the Wall does NOTHING to break the fall, and Funk lands right on his shoulder on the mats. We're only 60 seconds in. Piledriver on the commentary table by The Wall. They walk to the entrance set, and a chairshot by the Wall to Terry's back prompts a hilarious "You motherfucking Goddamn son-of-a-bitch! You fucking asshole" by the mad old bastard. Suddenly, two tables fall from the set and randomly hit Wall in the head, knocking him out cold. I'd like to think God was lending Terry a hand to prevent a gross injustice. This succeeds, as Funk gets the pin.

Milliseconds after the pin is registered, we're backstage with VINNIE RU and KRONIK. I can only imagine the rating for this segment. We can barely hear a thing. They lost so much fucking money this year, and they still produced a show that looked like public access. A pair of 5 second clips of a mystery man signing Jarrett's open contract and Jarrett's reaction follow, and this took longer to type than it did to watch. This is what I imagine cocaine feels like, but without the high.

DDP is doing a promo with Gene wearing a Sopranos shirt, as the Mamalukes music is playing in the background, momentarily making me wonder if he's wearing a novelty garment from Blackpool strip that plays the theme song as well. DDP threatens to "tear Bischoff a new ass".

Vito and Johnny The Bull are in the ring. We cut backstage suddenly, and it's Kronik beating up the Harris Brothers. That cut was so sharp and to something so awful, I begin to wonder if I've actually died watching this show and ended up in hell. Kronik hit the ring to fight the Mamalukes. They destroy the 'Lukes in a fight more one sided than a stroke victim, hitting a series of power moves and come off like an act with potential, against all odds. Brian Adams then does a promo that brings us crashing back to a sad reality.

Vampiro is out next, and with his dreadlocks and paint, bares a passing resemblence in Finn Balor. Uh oh, he has a microphone. He tries to talk with an idiosyncratic style, but he just sucks, and nobody can possibly care. As the promo moves along slower than continental drift, the lights go out and Sting's music plays. We're looking at Vamp in the ring, and Sting bombs it down from the rafters in the dark, and Jesus Christ he had some speed on that descent. How he didn't blow a knee or ankle is a minor miracle, but he's a man of the Lord, so he's able to kick Vamp's ass with the baseball bat. Repeatedly. About 10 shots with the bat, as he lectures him about pain at the same time like a pissant schoolboy who picked a fight with a sixth former.

Hogan is running around screaming for Kidman still. 5 second segment.

Jarrett and Russo are complaining about the mystery opponent. The belt is too big for Jeff, the main plate is sticking out each end. He's literally not fit to be the World Champion.

DDP is out again. Halfway through his entrance the template for the Nitro split-screen pops up while showing Page through both windows. Again. Spent millions on this show. Page is wrestling Mike Awesome, who takes less than 10 seconds to scream "Right here baby!", which is about the extent of his vocabulary. Awesome's mullet is tied back to a ponytail. His tights look so cheap in this setting. Awesome busts out a springboard clothesline to the floor. He's trying. DDP hits him with a chair twice, as Madden talks about the relaxed DQ rules, "because nobody tuned in to see a DQ". Probably hearing this on a monitor, Chris Kanyon runs in to attack Awesome, and the ref calls for a disqualification. The announcers literally hadn't even finished the sentence before Russo's writing contradicted them. That's too beautiful. Awesome pulls out a table to a babyface reaction, and the crowd is dying to see him put Kanyon through it, when we hear a wolf howl. Oh yes. It's Big Kev, who attacks Awesome and powerbombs him through a table. Kev did Awesome's spot to him one week after his debut. Funnily, Awesome never did come close to getting over in WCW. Kev crotch chops to wrap up the segment.

Russo is talking to Jarrett's opponent off camera. We cut to Tank Abbott walking around elsewhere as Mark Madden shits his pants, but doesn't complete a sentence before the shot is done and we're on a break.

We're back with Bagwell and Douglas standing with Gene. They both get in about 15 seconds of verbiage before music is playing in the background. Douglas manages to be atrocious, screaming "JACKASS" like he's been gargling motor oil and challenges Lex Luger. Luger shows up and challenges him to a match with him and Flair getting the tag belts if Russo shows up. He calls Douglas a "nothing-happening punk", which gets Pace to agree, stating "Nothing happening? Well it'll be happening all over your ass!" Tough words.

Tank Abbott is walking out. Madden is losing his shit, and it's rather unentertaining. "Don't even look at me, fat ass", Tank says to Madden. Tank says he's beating up innocents until Goldberg appears, but comes off like he has the IQ of an ice cube in August. Tank grabs Bruce McArthur (owner of the United Center) from the crowd in a completely uncontrolled piledriver style hoist, then stumbles into the apron, smashing poor Bruce gut first on the edge by accident. Just look at these untrained rubes killing themselves. Some hockey guy makes the save, nothing happens, the camera cuts away to Hogan, who has been looking for Billy Kidman all over the building for what feels like a season.

We then have a Nitro Girls commerical, and there is Miss Hancock, claiming her name is "Skye", encouraging us to go to their website. Nothing like consistency.

Russo and Jarrett are moaning to each other still. For some reason, Jarrett says "There we go again, JJ Dillon" as an insult.

Luger is out with Liz for a match with Shane Douglas. Luger has that bloated pills and roids look, and quite honestly has managed the rare feat of looking in great shape and fucking terrible at the same time. We are treated to about 12 Luger "AOHH!" cries in short order, both on offence and defence. About a minute in, Bagwell's music plays and he gets his full intro with pyro. Bagwell interferes. Douglas takes Luger to a person in the crowd dressed as Sting, who then turns and hits Douglas with a baseball bat and unmasks as Flair. King of Espionage tonight, the Nature Boy. Russo runs out, and we get another DQ finish, because after they explained people don't tune in for DQs, they then did 2 DQs in a row to guarantee their own fate for the night, I suppose. Douglas and Bagwell are yelling at Russo for not helping, because he's Muhammed "I'm Ard" Bruce Lee, after all. "There's heat there", says Hudson. That didn't take long.

Back from break, and Hogan is beating up Kidman. Guess he found him. Tony's mic sounds like he's underwater calling the action as Torrie hits The Wood with a piece of wood. "Terry Bollea if you will" no-sells her, and goes to give her a Piece of Wood, throttling her against the wall, cocking his fist and rearing back to drill her. Yeah, punch that bitch in the face, bro! Kidman then makes the save, but Hogan no sells him too and kicks his ass around this dingy garage. Hulk throws Kidman like a piece of shit into a large dumpster. No match for The Wood. He spots Eric hanging out by the hummer. The hummer doesn't start as Bischoff tries to flee, so he legs it on foot away from Hogan. Somewhere Goldberg was taking notes. Hogan gets into the Hummer and drives it into the dumpster, which contains Billy Kidman. Jesus. Well, so long as he doesn't teach his son to drive like that.

Kidman is put on a stretcher and carted off.

Jeff Jarrett is out for the main event. "There is the best wrestler in the world today", lies Madden. And the mystery opponent is...JIM ROSS!! Not really, but it's really the only thing that makes sense. Instead, it's Scott Steiner, which makes none. And they actually wrestle. These two heels. Low blows dished out right in front of the ref back and forth. I'll bet this ends in a DQ any minute. Scott has Jeff in the Recliner, a title change seems imminent, when YES! A run-in, as Booker T's suit jacket, followed five minutes later by Booker T, hits the ring to deliver an Axe Kick to Scott to break up the hold. And the ref rings the bell for the fucking disqualification. Because of course he does. Oh, and the fans boo Booker and start chanting "Booker sucks".

We're back with Hogan chasing Bischoff with a pipe all the way to the ring. Bischoff cowers in the corner, and in the climactic scene of Hogan finally getting to Bischoff, Hulk looks at Eric begging for mercy and kicks him directly in the bollocks. I know the feeling. What a hero. Literally the least courageous thing Hogan could do here. The farewell credits cover the screen too early, and Russo comes out with a baseball bat, apparently to fuck shit up and handle the former WWF, WCW and IWGP Champion with ease. But who is that running down? It's Bret Hart! Armed with a chair, and looking at Hogan grabbing Eric. Who will Bret hit? Such drama! Such suspense! Why the fuck is this happening again? Fuck it, no time to think! And as Bret's eyes move to Hogan, the show goes to black, and I wonder what else I could have done tonight.

Edited October 12, 2016 by Liam O'Rourke

[PowerButchi]

Me and my friends who were sad enough to put the cider down, remove our fingers from the vaginas of the loose ladies of our school year and run home from the park to watch TNT at 9 on a Friday in 2000 still call each other a "Jurassic Slapass" to this day.

 

Greatest shit insult ever

Edited October 11, 2016 by PowerButchi

[tiger_rick]

I've been watching that episode for three weeks on and off. It's taking me that long because it's the fucking worst.

 

I'm a big fan of the reset show from the previous week and I take some perverse pleasure from Spring Stampede but this fucking show. Jees.

 

That opening segment features ticker tape and balloons a super bowl winners parade would call excessive. It brilliantly drowns out the opening as there is a constant popping. Like a giant bubble wrap.

 

That's a good thing too because Russo is doing his try-hard Vince McMahon while he and Jarrett both focus more on Jim Ross than WCW. Creatively, they can both only think to say "kiss my arse". Jurassic slapass is a great insult though. A torchlight shining through the diarrhea.

 

Of course the millionaire's club are ringside dressed as security, because there has to be a "creative" angle every four minutes. And we wouldn't want any heels getting heat on them or people might want to pay to watch them be avenged.

 

Hogan turns up as a cross between Steve Austin and Andrew Agassi and stares so hard that four cops get out of his way and let him in. I say Hogan, this is actually Terry Bollea talking because it's a shoot brother. Every other words is bitch or ass. Remember all that complaining about standards and practices? What the fuck was that about? Because there is innuendo and bad language everywhere. Never let Russo spin his bullshit that his hands were tied. This is his vision wholehog and it's shite.

[Supremo]

Wow. I remember Hogan's Jedi mind tricks! I haven't thought about that since it happened. It was hilarious. He's scripted to be Stone Cold, all fiery and intimidating, where the cops shit themselves and just let him through. But Hogan doesn't convey any of that. He just stares at them, all old and sad, like a hang dog, and they still step aside. Brilliant.

 

I watched the recent Ladder match between the Young Bucks, Motor-city Machine Guns and Kazarian and Daniels. Absolutely bonkers stuff. Dumb, super risky, but tonnes of fun. This was the first time I've ever seen the Young Bucks perform. They're a creative pair, aren't they? I love their confidence too. I hope they end up in WWE someday.