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The Crystal Maze Appreciation Thread


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So, it seems Crystal Maze is set for a one-off comeback shortly!

 

Yay!!! Am hoping this leads to a series (as long as it remains as true to the original as possible).

 

Seriously, it was such a great show. Got a little less great after Richard O Brien left, admittedly, but he was irreplaceable in my opinion.

 

I recently did the Crystal Maze live experience down in London - SO much fun! Felt like a little kid again and getting to go in the Crystal Dome was just brilliant. Got an actual crystal to take home too! 
Apparently this is where the one off is being/has been filmed.

So, Crystal Maze. Discuss, worship, share the love.....

 

 

 

 

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A couple of years ago I worked on the fifth floor of an office block and the builders were in, so at the end of my shift one day I had to exit through the fire escape and make my way down a series of steel ramps and bridges along the scaffolding. All that was going through my head was the Crystal Maze theme and Richard O'Brien shouting "To the Industrial Zone!"

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My 2 year old asked for her laptop yesterday evening. It had been tidied up and was underneath another big toy. My wife and I spent 3 minutes sitting on the sofa yelling crystal maze-style instructions at her to help her find it. "It's underneath your right hand! THAT ONE! YOU'RE TOUCHING IT NOW! NOOO! TURN AROUND! YES! NO! CROUCH DOWN! It's 'U-3!'"

 

What a great show, though. If they bring it back, it has to be Richard O'Brien, or there's no point.

 

Also, any excuse to post this:

 

 

Oh, and this:

 

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It was very good 25 years ago, has aged terribly now. Shit on a re-watch. Most notable to me now for the sub-Blankety Blank prizes. Like 95% of all nostalgia it is best left in the past.

This is absolutely the truth. About a year ago, during by bi-monthly midlife crisis, I downloaded every episode of the Crystal Maze and the Gamesmaster. I found the Gamesmaster holds up really well. Its fast paced, you actually get the jokes now you're an adult and the guests stars keep your attention because its always fun to see Jet from Gladiators trying to beat the Casino Level on Sonic 2. The Crystal Maze on the other hand, I watched 3 episode on fast foward and deleted the lot. There's really nothing to it. Used to love it at the time as well. And as great as Ten Pole Tudor is, he couldnt revamp this show.

 

No idea if Gladiators still holds up or not. Dont think I dare watch a full episode. Dont want to "go there", you know?

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Was going to say the exact same thing about Crystal Maze and Gladiators, but you beat me to it. At least with old quiz shows you can have a crack at the answers. Rose tinting at its finest is Crystal Maze.

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Still holds up better than Fort Boyard on channel 5.

 

And better than the two was the Crystal Maze board game. Never has a game been so difficult yet captivating. It's insane.

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All they need to make it more watchable is a button in every game room that the player can press at any time, which opens a trapdoor beneath his/her teammates when their incessant "advice" and "encouragement" becomes too annoying.

 

"Come on Jacob, you can do it! You can do it Jacob! Get the crystal! You're doing well! It's a puzzle, just think it over! Concentrate, Jacob! You can do it! Don't let anything distract you! Solve the puzzle and get the crystal! Come on Jacob..."

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Sort of loved Crystal Maze, but if I'm honest even as a little'un I was basically only ever waiting for the Future Zone - was a real grind when it wasn't on till last.

 

One thing that gets me on repeat watches, is the way sneaky shots were spliced in during some games - I presume to make what was happening easier to understand to the viewer, but they were implausible shots clearly filmed after the event and dropped in, like POV shots of hands opening doors in the main games, or close ups of something intricate when from the wide shots it was clear there weren't camera's on there to capture it.

 

Once you spot it, it's really annoying.

 

Perhaps my favourite memory of the Crystal Maze though is this...

 

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I think it's aged that  badly. Fort Boyard with the finger fellating Dirty Den at the helm is much worse in hindsight. Not just because the image of Leslie Grantham plucking his unit on MSN chat is emblazoned on to the national consciousness either. It was shite.

 

Crystal Maze suffered terribly once Richard O'Brien stopped presenting. Ed Tudor-Pole was OK, but he just wasn't as good as our Riff Raff. I want Adam Ant to present the new series. He's skint, looks the part and is completely mental.

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I absolutely lovely the show as a kid. Obsessed with it. And I don't dare go back and watch it on the off chance my nostalgic view is destroyed. Echo that Richard O'Brien and Mumsy leaving felt like the end of the perfect dynamic, and while I appreciate people being excited for a reboot, it has absolutely no chance with that talentless, wide-eyed hack David Tennant as the anchor. He'll hoke it up worse than the original would look today, and at least that has the grace of being made 25 years ago.

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I genuinely mis-read the thread title as The Crystal Meth Appreciation Thread.

 

I loved the show as a kid, particularly the Ocean zone for reasons I can't remember. Definitely started to go off it when Tenpole Tudor took over. Has anyone been to the Crystal Maze Experience? There was a shit version in Blackpool when I was a lad but apparently this is really good.

 

On the subject of Gladiators, I think it holds up when watched again. My kids love it. We went through a stage of watching it while we ate tea and they were always captivated.

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Difference between Boyard and Maze though is that no one defends Fort Boyard, or thought it wad good at the time. More a case of "Hahahaha, what the fuck is DI Burnside doing with a tiger?" or "Cor! Melinda Messenger!"

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