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Sergio Mendacious

Doomed anecdotal megathread #2

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Recently my girlfriend was on her phone and I asked if she had seen mine. She pointed to an iPad on the other side of the room and said "is that it?" I said it was the iPad, to which she said that it looked too small to be an iPad.

 

At that point I held the hand holding her iPhone and explained that "this one is small, that one is far away." I've waited so long to use that line in real life.

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Recently my girlfriend was on her phone and I asked if she had seen mine. She pointed to an iPad on the other side of the room and said "is that it?" I said it was the iPad, to which she said that it looked too small to be an iPad.

 

At that point I held the hand holding her iPhone and explained that "this one is small, that one is far away." I've waited so long to use that line in real life.

Excellent. Did she get it?

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She shouted don't do it at me as soon as I "this one is small," which made it even more satisfying

Edited by UK Kat Von D

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When I was a child I was staying at my uncle's. He told me that the alarm clock, which was shaped like a football, could be turned off by clicking on against the wall. Turns out he wasn't wrong, but it didn't survive. Hee heard about alarm clocks like that, and just assumed that this was one because it was was shaped like a sport ball.

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Did you do the accent?

I cant even do my brummie accent properly so I always avoid doing any voice other than my own, Tim Armstrong or Tom Delong

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I'm not a happy man right now.  I've spent the last week in Washington DC and New York, and I paid for both hotels on my debit card when I arrived.  Both totals are showing on my bank statement (£277 and £383 respectively), but today when trying to use my card I found that I'm overdrawn.  I called the bank and they told me there are two pending transactions from each hotel for £315 and £436 respectively, and that's on top of what I already paid.  The bank told me the hotels were holding the cash and they needed to release the funds, the hotels told me the bank is holding the cash and they need to release the funds.  Both hotels also told me that they hold security deposits which are released upon check out, the first hotel holds $60 and the second $100.  Neither hotel could tell me why they took so much.

 

So now I'm basically overdrawn until the £750 decides to return to my account.

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Anybody recommend any good sun-screen? Jeezo. Can't handle sunburn these days. :( :(

SunSense. Get it from a pharmacy or Amazon. The 50+ stuff is fantastic. Feels light on the skin too.

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While on the subject of sun screen, does anybody have any tips for avoiding heat rash? I got it for the first time ever in Spain a few years back and since then, on holidays in Greece and Spain again, I've got it every time. I put sun screen on, I try to stay in during the hottest parts of the day, all to no avail. Given I'll be somewhere where it'll be about 36 degrees every day for six weeks soon, I can't have this.

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Went down to my local Tesco to buy the reduced doughnuts like a cool motherfucker, and to my shock horror noticed this garment. Is this not the epitome of a LAD t - shirt?

 

m775au.jpg

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