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Doomed anecdotal megathread #2


Sergio Mendacious

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2 hours ago, John Matrix said:

I'm gonna get kneecapped, aren't i

I once went onto a pub in a small town just south of Dublin and was watched with some interest as I ordered at the bar. Upon getting my drink an old lad at the bar said rather loudly to the chap next to him "I tell you who had the right idea, Gerry fuckin Adams".

I've not drunk a pint so quick in years.

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11 hours ago, Frankie Crisp said:

Wasn’t able to go for a poo in the pub just now, because John Power from Cast/The Las blocked it.

Cheers.

Mother Nature called.

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Had a mouthful of Super Noodles and felt a sneeze coming on. I kept my mouth clamped shut so that I didn't spit bits everywhere.

Somehow they went up into the back of my nasal cavity. I can now see what the universe is made from.

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Picture the scene: Lovely Saturday afternoon out on my own while the missus is at her pal’s birthday do. Sipping a cheeky pint of Moretti in my local, sitting outside, it’s fuckin bliss especially as I’m the only person here (there’s a setup of four tables outside). 

Woman and man approach boozer, nothing wrong with that of course - only they go in and order drinks then come back outside. Again, no issue yet, until they decide to sit on the table right next to me and squash right beside me. There are two other tables completely free!  

I don’t want to hear your conversation, I don’t want to hear your dog bark and sneeze, nor do I appreciate the fumes from your carcinogenic leaves being blown in my face as soon as you sit down. 

Fuck this, me and my Lapsed Fan podcast are going the chippy.

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