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Doomed anecdotal megathread #2


Sergio Mendacious

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Do we have a house buying thread on here? My missus and I have been approved for our mortgage in principal, but have had fuck all luck in finding something we like. We're in Nottingham and ideally would like to find somewhere around Arnold.

Any tips about solicitors/surveyors? How long it took from finding your house to moving in etc etc?

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9 hours ago, Wretch said:

Do we have a house buying thread on here? My missus and I have been approved for our mortgage in principal, but have had fuck all luck in finding something we like. We're in Nottingham and ideally would like to find somewhere around Arnold.

Any tips about solicitors/surveyors? How long it took from finding your house to moving in etc etc?

@Wretch Ā Unless the house is very, very old and there are glaring signs of structural issues, go with the home buyers report, it's much cheaper and is still very detailed (it still covers structure, damp, electrics, gas, roof etc). There is a survey quote tool.Ā 

https://www.reallymoving.com/quote-forms/surveyors

Solicitors, cheapest you can find in your area. Main thing we've found I'd that if you can physically turn up there's less hassle. Once they have your custom expect to be the one phoning for updates.Ā 

I don't know your area so I can't provide suggestions I'm afraid.Ā 

Edited by Kaz Hayashi
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On 7/28/2017 at 1:14 PM, Kaz Hayashi said:

@WretchOnce they have your custom expect to be the one phoning for updates.Ā 

As a man who works as a Clerk for a firm of solicitors, I can sadly confirm this is all too true. Guys, buying a house is a lengthy process typically involving days or even weeks of dead air waiting for letters to be sent and received. When there's something to tell you, we will tell you.Ā 

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Usually in the mornings, I wake up, check my phone, record the first blart of the day and send it to me mates in a WhatsApp group.Ā  And this morning I let what was probably the greatest Satchmo Iā€™ve ever produced:

http://picosong.com/v8vH/
It actually sounds akin to Food, Glorious Food, and someone here has to appreciate this, lads. I need a bit of backup...

I got excited when I played it back, but this was at 0530 this morning before I went the gym, and my mates werenā€™t up yet. My missus got up at 0600 and I let her hear it.

You know what she said to me? ā€œThatā€™s fucking disgusting! How old are you?? Youā€™re supposed to be a responsible father! Your daughter uses your phone and talks to her grandda on it and youā€™re putting your fucking arse against it and pumping germs into it! No wonder she got a sty in her eye last week!ā€
I was fucking stunned. I thought sheā€™d at least fucking humour me, but instead I got a character assassination.
I could have retorted with ā€œWell yours is no cream egg. It gave me stomach flu last yearā€ but decided against it.

I canā€™t believe the reaction I got though. Sheā€™s genuinely appalled...

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