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Doomed anecdotal megathread #2


Sergio Mendacious

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30 has been OK so far. I think my 30s is going to be my defining decade. Either I succeed and set myself up for the rest of my days or I fail and descend back into a haze of drink, drugs, magistrates courts and shame. 

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Through my work, I've encountered a few internet-famous 15 year old YouTube stars who are raking in the dough by doing fuck all on the internet, so I was thinking that when I turned 30, I'd end up having some kind of life crisis and realise that these kids have done more than me in half the time. Instead I spent 9 hours at a beer festival and had the best birthday I've had in years.

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41 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

The thirties is fucking ace.  You're old enough to be respected and not dismissed as being young, but you can still act like an arsehole and not look tragic.

This, in every sense of the word. In your 20s, you don't seem to be respected. That changes a lot in your thirties. 

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Right, my head nearly fell off today due to hearing the following.

Disclaimer - I'm not a fan of this person views".

Someone I know mentioned they were currently reading a book based on pre life and the afterlife. Now this person apparently believes in pre life and the afterlife, fair enough, I'm not knocking that, I have no issues what so ever with people's beliefs providing they don't wish harm upon others and don't discriminate.

However, the book this person is reading (which she is buying in to) states that your life is planned out before you are born, or in her words, before you come to earth. "By your parents?" I fooooolishly asked..  "No Kaz, by you, as a pre-being, you agree to everything that is about to happen in your life, all positive options must have negative counterparts to weigh each other out".

So by this point I thought, "no words.. but I need to hear more"...

I asked.. "everything, even really bad shit?"

Her response, "Yes, so abusers, incestuous people, gays, all decide to be these things, so that they can have other positive counterparts".

My mate Gav was in the vicinity, listening in. Gav is gay and couldn't help himself but join in for a bit listen, we smirked at each other and then I asked.. "so are you saying that rape victims decide to..." 

She cut me off by saying "victim isn't a recognised term, you can't say that or you will dwell on it and never move on".

At this point Gav and I decided to need the toilet. What the actual fuck??

Now this isn't just in her head, this is from a proper published book, that people read and apparently follow as a lifestyle concept. Is this something that has completely passed me by but people are aware of? It freaked the shit out of me.

Edited by Kaz Hayashi
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3 minutes ago, hallicks said:

Sounds like a "Glenn Hoddle" moment to me. I'm sure your acquiantance will be forced to resign from managing the England national football team within days.

See, I thought she had just read his autobiography, but no, his views were that you were being punished for behavior in a previous life, where as she claims you choose. I can't get then idea of two lists out of my head, one positive and one negative. 

Polyps - Porsche

Gang beat down - sky multi room

Tiny penis - 50/50 vision

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It's obviously all bollocks, but not the weirdest shit I've ever heard. Obviously extremely insulting, though.

Now, I know you can't reason a person out of an opinion they never reasoned themselves into, but surely you can just find examples of people's lives who were entirely shit from day one and never improved? What about children who die in infancy, what positives did they "agree to" to outweigh that? What's the positive counterpart to that?

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That's the thing, it's the same as saying 'he works in mysterious ways'.

.. fuck off.

It could be that your so selfless that you will take all of the grief so that someone else can prosper. No matter how specific your questions are, especially about horrid shit involving kids, there's still a bloody retort. Cranks.

Personally, I think the concept of this and similar comes from humans "needing to know and having answers" for pretty much everything. It's the idea of having control and internal certainty. That's why she also said that chance doesn't exist, it's all fate.

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12 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

That's the thing, it's the same as saying 'he works in mysterious ways'.

.. fuck off.

It could be that your so selfless that you will take all of the grief so that someone else can prosper. No matter how specific your questions are, especially about horrid shit involving kids, there's still a bloody retort. Cranks.

Personally, I think the concept of this and similar comes from humans "needing to know and having answers" for pretty much everything. It's the idea of having control and internal certainty. That's why she also said that chance doesn't exist, it's all fate.

Forgive the text at the very end, but this video (2 minutes) explains it well.

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I have one of those blocked nose sprays for congestion. I'm at work and a few minutes ago went to sort out my left nostril, but something went horrible wrong and instead of a blast of decongestant, it lobbed about half of bottle of the liquid up my nose and through the canal to my throat.This resulted in me spewing spit and nasal spray out of my mouth onto my desk uncontrollably, violent coughing which caused half of the office to come over to my aid and me dry retching what tastes like toilet duck. My entire face is in agony and it feels like someone has shoved a hedgehog up my nose. 

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