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Best promo/commentary zingers


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Watched the Rude/Warrior Summerslam 1989 match earlier, and i'll never get tired of hearing Ventura in this piece of commentary after Warrior hit Rude with the Intercontinental belt outside of the ring

 

Ventura; "Hit him with the belt, that should be a Disqualification"

"Where the hell is the referee"?

 

Schiavone; "That's outside of the ring Jessie"

 

Ventura; "So what"

 

Schiavone; "As much as it could be a count out here"

 

Ventura; "What are you going to tell me Schiavone, you can shoot someone outside the ring,

as long as it's outside the ring"?

"Your'e even dumber than Monsoon"

 

Brilliant as he's spot fucking on. Ventura was usually good at that sort of thing though TBH.

 

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Another LOL worthy piece of commentary from Summerslam '89. During the buildup video for the Warrior/Rude match, they showed a clip of Warrior bearing Haku and after the match, Rude attacked Warrior and beat him down and piledrove him etc,

The bell kept ringing as it does when a match is over and there's an aftermath beating. Good old Lord Alfred Hayes said "I don't know what the referees decision is going to be because this is the aftermath of when the Warrior actually won"

 

Well Warrior won his match and some heels beat him up Alfred, what decision has the ref to make exactly?

That's a brilliant bit of Ventura commentary at Summerslam 89 too. He clearly detests Warrior and makes no effort to hide it. Schiavone and him made a pretty good pairing on that show.

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Can't remember it exactly but once Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire were in a mix tag match, Fink announced "Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 475lbs"

 

Heenan - "Is that right, I don't think it is"

Monsoon - "Why do you say that"

Heenan - "Well Sapphire must be 400lbs on her own

Monsoon - "Will you stop"

 

Brilliant!

Credit where credit is due: that was Jesse Ventura at WM6.

 

Was it really?  Thanks for the correction!  Still a great zinger.

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Another great one from The Brain on Hogans music.

 

"This is my 2nd favourite song!"

 

"I'm almost afraid to ask... what's your favourite?"

 

"All the rest are tied."

I've ripped this off SO many times, and always had to explain it afterwards. I despair, but live in hope.

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Great thread! Want to add this zinger from The Brain at Summerslam 91, during Perfect - Bret; just after Bret rips Perfect's singlet, there's a cut to Stu and Helen Hart watching on:

 

Monsoon: Concerned look on the face of Stu and Helen Hart as they watch on...

Heenan: You know why they're concerned? They snuck in. They're scared the usher will get them.

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The Ventura line you guys were trying to remember was actually :

 

"Wait a minute, Gorilla, wait just a minute! They said with a combined weight of 465 pounds? You're telling me Rhodes only weighs 200?! Because I know damn well Sapphire weighs two and a half! 565 I might buy, but no 465!"

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Lawler had one that floored me in 98 with, "There's nothing wrong with dating younger women, until you have to drop them off at school."

While it was a backstage promo and not on commentary him spitting hot fire at Dustin and Terri Runnels on Raw in May 97 is the greatest thing ever.

https://youtu.be/6R4BWXnrZ1o

 

In all fairness though, whenever Lawler calls someone a "fag" it means he's cutting an ace promo. Like the one on Handsome Jimmy for ainstance

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Also, Scott Bowden (massively underrated a talent) gives Randy Hales pelters. Look at Dave Brown's legit disgust

 

 

And then Hales a few years later gets a verbal shellacking again, this time along with The King and Too Sexy Brian Christopher by Doug Gilbert. Brutal

 

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Who is the fella in the salmon jacket and the terrible wig who comes in as part of the pull apart in the first clip? I think I should recognise him but I can't put a name to him.

Going without watching it back I'm going to guess Eddie Marlin

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WrestleMania X8 is a funny one

JR: The APA have to be favourites in this match

King: Speaking of favourites, my favourite tag team in the WWF are in the ring right now.

JR: Who's that? The Dudleyz?

King: No. Stacy Kiebler's left leg and her right one

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