Paid Members Nick James Posted May 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 5, 2016 So, Purple Aki has had his 'bicep ban' lifted and plans to reinvent himself, according to a new article posted on The Mirror app. Thought it was worth a thread for thoughts on the news and also past stories of Purple Aki. They're always good for a laugh. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/muscle-obsessed-bodybuilder-vows-reinvent-7906495#ICID=ios_TMNewsApp_AppShare_Click_Other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted May 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 5, 2016 "modern day bogeyman" Comin to get ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handspants Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I wonder which part of the body he has 'reinvented' himself into touching? Triceps? Or would there be too much of a risk there? Calves? Now that's definitely a dangerous area..I think he should just stick to stroking hair. Of the head variety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted May 6, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2016 I'd like to meet the man. I'd keep my "guns" away from him though. I wouldn't do press-ups either. I'm sure he's not as bad as he's made out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted May 6, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2016 Given Aki is seemingly now a national cult figure as opposed to someone just in the North West, I hope we see him in the Celeb Big Brother house. I might have mentioned it before but a mate was on the same wing as him for a bit in Fazakerley prison. He apparently has a tremendous penis, he'd happily walk around with no scrunts on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted May 6, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2016 How did Aki's penis get brought up in your conversation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted May 6, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2016 When you visit people in prison it's easy to run out of things to talk about Baz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted May 6, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2016 When you visit people in prison it's easy to run out of things to talk about Baz. Pretty much this & the fact that Aki is was a pseudo celeb around these parts so it was a funny coincidence when he ended up on the same wing as him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Yeah, he used to bring the butties around when my mate was in Altcourse. 12 inch sub jokes aplenty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinky Dad Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Stories of this beast used to plague our teenage years round our way. Some kid would come along and shout "Purple Aki's on the school field" or "Just got chased by Aki through the woods" and it'd be enough to make us get out of dodge double quick. His reputation preceded him for sure and looking back the stories that got passed about were so far fetched but as an impressionable 13/14 year old they were believable and fucking terrifying! I should've realised being a chubby lad with little muscle definition that I'd be safe as houses but that wasn't the case. Allegedly he was 8 foot tall, as strong as 10 rhinos and quicker than a cheetah. He'd allegedly corner a young victim and utter the immortal words..."Pop or Slash?"....choosing slash was meant to be the easy way out; he'd carve his initials in your arse cheek using a small blade. Pop on the other hand, well that came with such folklore ranging from he'd bum you senseless or shove a straw up your arse and blow! Seems so daft looking back on it now but at the time was so believable. I remember seeing him in Argos a few years later and being quite disappointed that he didn't quite live up to the physical picture painted those years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted May 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 7, 2016 Stories of this beast used to plague our teenage years round our way. Some kid would come along and shout "Purple Aki's on the school field" or "Just got chased by Aki through the woods" and it'd be enough to make us get out of dodge double quick. I had a nightmare a few years ago of being chased by Purple Aki in the woods. It was fucking terrifying. I'd been looking into his newspaper reports at the time. I can still see his beast face peering from the bushes, wanting to bum me. It's like the bit where Sirpa Lane is being chased by the monster in "immoral Tales". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 He has a suprisingly high pitched voice, well I say high pitched I thought he'd sound like Adebisi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted May 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 7, 2016 It's like the bit where Sirpa Lane is being chased by the monster in "immoral Tales". Solid reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted May 8, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 8, 2016 Laugh at me being fat all ya want bitches, at least I'm safe from that bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted May 9, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted May 9, 2016 Unless his reinvention is to motorboat some man tits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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