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School team - do one


Kaz Hayashi

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The reasoning behind my school nickname of 'Pocket Rocket' were twofold. First, because I was quick and powerful at rugby despite being 5,5. Second, because while doing the 400m at games my wanger fell out of the bottom of my shorts, causing my Richmond to go flapping about in the open as I was giving it my all round the Hudson's Field Athletics Track.

 

I bloody loved rugby and managed to get in the first team for a bit, which considering my complete lack of height, I'm still proud of. We were one of the best school teams in the area and regularly beat decent private schools with our winning combination of cheating and swearing.

 

My abiding memory was playing away at Wellington School which had 25 pitches. I have no idea what a term cost there was, but it was astronomical. We got absolutely rogered 50-0, so we decided to nick everything we could lay our hands on like the state school scrotes that we were. This largely consisted of cutlery we took from the dining hall along with a large portrait of Queen Victoria. Fred Cooper managed to pilfer an ornamental plant pot, which seemed like a great idea until he dropped soil all over the bus.

 

Wellington weren't massively happy that we had taken several hundred pounds worth of cutlery and the PE staff left a giant box in reception that we had to drop everything back into with the proviso that id we put the cutlery back, we wouldn't get detention. This did actually turn out to be the case apart from the numpty who actually brought the portrait of Her Majesty in on the bus, making it slightly obvious of his culpability.
 

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