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The Worst Gimmick Match Concept Ever


Liam O'Rourke

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It can be a bit odd, with No Holds Barred, Hardcore, Street Fight, Lights Out seemingly being interchangeable. Ultimately, it strikes me that they choose one of these matches specifically to give a feud a certain "flavour".

 

That said, the No Holds Barred match seems to suit either old-style wrestling, with its ban on punches, or lucha, which bars the martinete/Tombstone piledriver.

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Sometimes gimmick matches are terrible because the very concept leads to an inherently bad match. Sometimes they're bad because they don't make sense and its basically impossible to tell a logical story. And sometimes it's because when you hear them described they're either impossible to understand or obviously silly.

 

TNAs feast or fired match takes the cake by managing to be all three. it leads to bad matches because you essentially have a crowded pole match, which makes everything a cluster. Whats worse though is thsat by the nature of the match, the crowd cant get into it because if their hero gets a case they wont know if thats a good thing or not until after they open it, usually a week later. This means the match itself, because pf the way it is set up, has 0 drama and never really can.

 

Secondly, the storyline makes no sense. It is almost never worth the guy in questions while to try and win. Take James storm, who was in the last one and won a tag shot. James storm is a multiple time champion and will earn himself and his partner another shot in his career. No storyline reason is ever given for these dopes PUTTING THEIR CAREERS ON THE LINE for the shot. They're very rarely desperate losers trying to earn one last shot, but guys who are in storyline in or around their respective title shots.

 

TNA themselves picked up on this. They did a feast or fired where Chris Harris (I think) said from the startt "this is stupid and not worth it". And he was right. Made everyone involved look an idiot.

 

Incidentally. I just saw Eric Young was in the last one, which means one of the things he could get was a shot at a title he already had. Brilliant.

 

Part of what makes this match so bad, so pee smellingly awful is how TNA gave treated the cases. Literally, not figurativrly, every time they've had the match the briefcases have either been stolen, or lost in matches, or just straight given to someone else. Velvet sky won one once WITHOUT ACTUSLLY BEING IN THE MATCH. She was fired. Because TNA

 

At least they only did the lockbox mastch once. They keep pulling this monstrosity out there. It's a match that can never have any drama, is impossible to make good when it's on, buries all of the people in match, and has left its stupid mark on creative afterwards. It's the worst.

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It can be a bit odd, with No Holds Barred, Hardcore, Street Fight, Lights Out seemingly being interchangeable. Ultimately, it strikes me that they choose one of these matches specifically to give a feud a certain "flavour".

 

Nerdy pedantry but strictly speaking (IMO):

 

No Holds Barred: You can use any hold (eg chokes) but not a weapon

 

Hardcore: No disqualification, no countout, falls count anywhere

 

Street fight: No disqualification, no countout, but pins/submissions only count in ring

 

Lights out: Match is not sanctioned by promotion/athletic commission, so if you get injured that's your problem. Any further stips are up to the wrestlers. (The name comes from the idea you'd flash the arena lights off and then on to signify the end of the sanctioned show.)

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So what's the difference between Hardcore and Falls Count Anywhere? Weapons?

 

Also, a thought occurs: there's no real difference between a Ladder match and TLC match, is there? Apart from, maybe, provenance: if there happen to be tables and chairs available during a Ladder match, then it's the same thing, no?

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Also, a thought occurs: there's no real difference between a Ladder match and TLC match, is there? Apart from, maybe, provenance: if there happen to be tables and chairs available during a Ladder match, then it's the same thing, no?

Effectively the same thing, yes. Only difference is that in a TLC match they actually provide the chairs and tables to use. There's nothing stopping you using them in a Ladder match, of course, but you'll have to find them yourself.

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Also, a thought occurs: there's no real difference between a Ladder match and TLC match, is there? Apart from, maybe, provenance: if there happen to be tables and chairs available during a Ladder match, then it's the same thing, no?

 

I've been banging on about this one for years. You can use as many tables, chairs, crutches, kitchen sinks or Jon Stewarts as you want in a ladder match. A "TLC match" is just a name, it's not really a match type. Stupider still, indys often promote "TLC match" as just a match where those items are going to be used but the match still ends by pinfall. So, really, just a no-disqualification match. Except you're advertising in advance what plunder the wrestlers will use.

 

And yes, there are a hundred different names for the two match types which can always be summed up by either "no disqualification" or "falls count anywhere" which is inherently no disqualification but with with pinfalls allowed outside the ring.

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It can be a bit odd, with No Holds Barred, Hardcore, Street Fight, Lights Out seemingly being interchangeable. Ultimately, it strikes me that they choose one of these matches specifically to give a feud a certain "flavour".

 

Nerdy pedantry but strictly speaking (IMO):

 

No Holds Barred: You can use any hold (eg chokes) but not a weapon

 

Hardcore: No disqualification, no countout, falls count anywhere

 

Street fight: No disqualification, no countout, but pins/submissions only count in ring

 

Lights out: Match is not sanctioned by promotion/athletic commission, so if you get injured that's your problem. Any further stips are up to the wrestlers. (The name comes from the idea you'd flash the arena lights off and then on to signify the end of the sanctioned show.)

I'm not sure the matches are ever presented as different to one another (at least in WWE/TNA).

 

Light out/unsanctioned matches are always unsatisfactory in presentation especially when there are refs and commentators involved.

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Agree on that point regarding unsanctioned matches. There's still theme music, referees, commentators, ring announcer etc. Just because Michaels came out in his jeans at Summerslam 02, does this make it unsanctioned?

 

Having said this I don't know what the right way to do one is. Maybe it should be held outside, or be explained that both competitors have paid to have the ref and commentators etc out of their own pockets. Fuck knows.

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I think Feast or Fired is close to being a good gimmick match and with a few tweaks and good booking you've got something. The first change I'd make is to get rid of the idea of winning your pink slip. That's what the loose of the match should get by simply having one more competitor than title shot then at least you get some jeopardy at the end of the match instead of a rip off deal or no deal.

 

I also hate when you have no holds barred matches when a banned moved hasn't been apart of the storyline. Generally I dislike how a load of gimmick matches are no different to each other.

Or the WWE's favourite of no holds barred matches and they either have submission holds broken by the ropes or the referee stops the choking on the ropes/breaks up turnbuckle punches after 10. Ridiculous.

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Or the WWE's favourite of no holds barred matches and they either have submission holds broken by the ropes or the referee stops the choking on the ropes/breaks up turnbuckle punches after 10. Ridiculous.

 

I've never had a problem with rope breaks or anything like that in no DQ matches (or submission matches). Just because the ref can't disqualify you for breaking the rules, doesn't mean there aren't rules, that he should try and enforce. No, your opponent can't beat you by disqualification if he gets to the rope and you decide not to break. But the rule is still that the rope constitutes a break, the ref should try and force a break, and you won't earn a winning submission if your opponent's in the ropes.

 

Of course, WWE agrees or disagrees depending on what finish they want to use, i.e. Shawn Michaels' submission at Breaking Point counting event though half his body was outside the ring at the time. Mind you, their enforcement of rope breaks in standard matches has been haphazard over the years anyway. Especially in Kurt Angle matches. Hey, dumbass! The guy is touching the ropes, that's a break. That Kurt drags him back to the middle of the ring is irrelevant, you should make him break.

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Or the WWE's favourite of no holds barred matches and they either have submission holds broken by the ropes or the referee stops the choking on the ropes/breaks up turnbuckle punches after 10. Ridiculous.

You know there's no rule in wrestling about only being allowed 10 turnbuckle punches, right?

 

It's just done for the crowd to count along and get involved, with the babyface punishing the heel.

 

In standard matches the referee actually just gives them a normal 5-count to get out of the corner.

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Just reminded of one, if it is how I remember it: the PCS Invitational, or whatever it was called. Basically had X-Divisioners wrestling matches which would then be judged as good or ba with regard to match-pacing, action, selling, etc.

 

I really hate the whole "breaking kayfabe in kayfabe" stuff; absolutely rotten.

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Street fight: No disqualification, no countout, but pins/submissions only count in ring

 

 

 

Streetfights should, in my humble opinion, be fought in non-wrestling gear and falls should count anywhere in order for it to be considered a true Streetfight in wrestling terms.

 

I hate when rope-breaks count in Streetfights - seriously!? 

 

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Has there ever been a match which specifically limits competitors to outside the ring and prohibits fighting in it? I feel like TNA must have done that once.

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