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Kids from school


Gus Mears

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Nothing particularly exciting at my school... though the "his sister is a porn star!" rumour was reserved for Paul; the snotty, West Ham-supporting gravel-voiced ginger afro-wearer. Plot twist was that it turned out to be entirely true... his sister really was one of Britain's foremost, erm, adult entertainers.

 

He must hold some sort of record for "Most times shown sister in flagrante delicto during Maths class".

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The only funny thing i can recall from school. Was a guy in my year Stuart, his parents wouldn't buy him Adidas tracksuit trousers. So he ended up with the 2 stripe ones from the market and was forever known as Stu stripes.

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The only funny thing i can recall from school. Was a guy in my year Stuart, his parents wouldn't buy him Adidas tracksuit trousers. So he ended up with the 2 stripe ones from the market and was forever known as Stu stripes.

Now THATS A NICKNAME! Tears here

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The best/worse nickname we gave someone was Two-Face because he was in a house fire when he was a toddler and one half of his body was completely burned, therefore resembling the aforementioned Batman villain.  He was a little cunt, though.  He turned up to school after a summer holiday with a silicon ear basically clipped on to the blank space where his real ear should have been, but then managed to get into a fight later that week and got it punched clean off.

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Slight change of pace here, regarding a kid from my school, although I don't know who I'm actually talking about.

We had a maths teacher, nasty woman, clearly wasn't interested in teaching and was always in a very foul mood. This teacher was incredibly fat, and there was actually a trail of wet talc spots on the carpeted floor from the staff toilet to her class room... Nasty sweaty leg rubbings.

Now this maths teacher had a fridge in her class room, along with a microwave and a fucking sink, with a pile of dirty smelly plates, EVERY FUCKING DAY... In a maths class.

I mean, it sounds ridiculous already, but I swear, no word of a lie, this was top set maths and our teacher was a troll.

One Monday morning she was more angry than typical. She wasn't quick enough to put the pieces together before we all did. She froze for 10 seconds up on seeing the message, before leaving the room, whilst we were all in creases.

 

Someone has smashed the window, broke in, washed up her dirty plates, had a cup of tea, and left a message on the black board stating, "I've washed your plates and drank your tea you fat bitch".

 

It's still brought up once a year 17 years later in which a group of us try to figure out who it was. We still don't know, but we owe them at least 5 pints, or cups of tea.

 

My fav story from school about a legend I don't even know.

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