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A Royal Rumble (PPV) match a day


HarmonicGenerator

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I'm a massive (the only?)mark for Bob Holly so I loved that mini-contender run. Super nice gent in real life too.

 

Yes, he seemed a very nice bloke at PCW and I really enjoyed his nostalgia match with D'Lo the same weekend. Time and place etc, and main eventing in 2004 was neither the time nor the place.

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I liked him getting that title shot too, always liked Holly for reasons I could never really explain. I like him even more now that I've heard him in a few interviews and he seems like a good bloke. At the time him getting that match seemed completely out of place, but I like things like that happening. Almost like a little reward for loyalty and longevity. You know it's only going to be a short feud then back to the way things were before, so it's not like it's worth getting upset about him 'main eventing in 2004', especially since he's not actually the main event on the card.

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You know it's only going to be a short feud then back to the way things were before, so it's not like it's worth getting upset about him 'main eventing in 2004', especially since he's not actually the main event on the card.

 

When IS it worth saying when we thought something was shit, and why then? It's wrestling. None of it's really worth getting upset about at all. But it we're not going to post opinions, this whole board's fucking pointless.

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What I quite liked aswell about the whole Holly/Lesnar 2004 thing, is that at No Way Out after Goldberg & Brock's little in-ring segment, Holly's match is scheduled next against Rhyno and he legs it down to the ring whilst Brock is still in there and chases him off.

 

That sort of thing doesn't happen any more, Ambrose & Wyatt can spend months scrapping away, but when they have had there fued ender, they go back to pretending each other don't exist.

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I do not remember the full nelson as Holly's finisher at all. And like him as I do, even he wasn't going to be breaking Brock Lesnar's neck with a full nelson. You'd need some sort of industrial strength vice for that.

 

 

2005, and I'm going with a match I remember really looking forward to at the time: Shawn Michaels vs. Edge.

 

 

The match:

 

I was looking forward to this match because, well, it's Edge vs. Shawn Michaels. Two of my favourites!

 

Edge is out first. It's still a year away from his big big break as a main eventer - in fact, he's not even Mr Money In The Bank yet. But I'd been waiting for him to break through since his SmackDown run in 2002. I wonder how he'd do trying to break through these days. 50/50 I expect. No, shut up, I tell myself, this is 2005!

 

Here's Shawn! Haven't watched a Shawn match in this project since 1992. 

 

Shawn gets straight into it, punching Edge, hitting a back body drop, and sending him over the top rope and skinning the cat - all without removing his jacket! 

 

'If that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' count: 18

 

Edge is annoyed about this on the outside. He looks peeved. The crowd chants HBK, and they lock up in the ring. Edge makes a mistake in the corner, and Michaels takes over with chops and more chops, but an Edge neckbreaker puts a stop to that. WrestleMania 21 sign hanging at the top of the arena, was this around the time they started doing that?

 

Thesz Press by Michaels, and Edge gets thrown over the top rope again.

 

'If that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' count: 19

 

Jerry Lawler actually makes a reference to 'if that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' here! My counting was not for nothing.

 

On the outside, Edge gets control back, hitting his sitout sort of jawbreaker thing that the SmackDown games may have used to call 'Edge-O-Matic', and then a baseball slide. HBK's whipped into the turnbuckles hard, and I've decided Edge looked much more of a star when his hair was that bit shorter.

 

Shawn goes for what was presumably going to be a hurricanrana, but it gets reversed into a sitout powerbomb for 2! Edge then locks in a bodyscissors, and the crowd's supporting HBK. I remember the buildup to this match being quite intense, but the match itself being not so much, and I may have remembered that right from the match thus far. 

 

The bodyscissors turns into a headlock type thing, Shawn mounts a mini comeback with a nice looking chop, but Edge throws him down and taunts him with his lunging flexing pose thing. Now the crowd's alive, they boo that very loudly. Shawn gets chucked down by the hair and Edge is in total control. Shawn tries to counter him in the corner, Edge goes over the top rope… and drops down to the floor, whipping Shawn's face into the ropes.

 

'If that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' count: 20

 

Edge misses a top rope move, but kicks Shawn in the face for 2. Edge seems to have something against Michaels' hair because he just slammed him down by it again. He lifts Michaels up for a back suplex but in a beautiful split-second reversal, it's turned into a cross body! Unfortunately for Michaels it's not much good, we go back to a hold, which Michaels fights out of with a chop, Edge goes for the hair again but THIS TIME Michaels stops him and mounts a proper comeback! He's hitting more than one move in a row now! Inverted atomic drops and elbows and more chops and 10 punches - well, 4 - and a sunset flip and there's a guy videoing in the front row, ALERT SECURITY! HE'S BLATANTLY RECORDING THIS WHOLE THING! SOMEONE GET SECURITY! I bet he's related to that twat with the megaphone from 1988.

 

Edge has had enough, and he's off. Shawn's not having that, though, and follows him to give him another chop. He liked chops at this stage in his career, didn't he? There's another one. Mike Chioda has just had word in his earpiece that Ric Flair's getting a bit upset about Shawn doing so many chops, so he has to hold Michaels back to have a word. Sadly, this allows Edge the opportunity to hide round the corner and Spear Shawn on the floor! 

 

Clearly Chioda's fault. This is the finish to the Intercontinental Title match in 1998 ALL OVER AGAIN.

 

Shawn gets in before the 10 count, and Edge riles the crowd up some more by doing a little dance, and then mimicking the tuning up the band in the corner.

 

JR: "HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BAND!"

 

Because Shawn does, obviously. Dear me.

 

Anyway, he hit another Spear and Shawn kicks out at the last second. Edge obviously read my remarks about his hair from eleven years in the future because he's just torn some out in frustration. His facial expressions are more hammy than during his years in the main event.

 

Comeback time! Shawn's put on the top rope, he fights back with more chops, hits the elbow! He gets 2, but the commentators are taking note of his bad back and how that might affect things. He gets to his feet, the crowd are getting excited, he whips them into a frenzy, tunes up the band - HE HAS NO BAND EITHER, JR - but Edge counters Sweet Chin Music into an Electric Chair! Nice! He only gets 2! Great near fall.

 

They're both back to their feet - one more chop from Michaels - sunset flip is rolled through, and ha! The Edgecator! Edge has locked in that submission move he used to do sometimes! I do like it when people have more than one finisher they can call on. Lawler's calling for Michaels to tap … but with a BIIIIIIIIG arm movement, he reaches the ropes. Edge is bleeding form the mouth. He tries for it again, countered! 2! Another rollup, countered by Edge, he's got the ropes! 3! He did it!

 

Now Shawn looks peeved.

 

"I did it!" says Edge over and over from the aisle.

 

They don't still do the 'wrestlers drawing their numbers for the Rumble' backstage bits, do they? There's a great silly one with Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero here. "GUERRERO STOLE MY NUMBER!" Shame.

 

Oh, and then there's a Heidenreich segment all about how HE… HATES …. CASKETS ….. AAAAAGH! IT'S SNITSKY!

 

"I hear you don't like caskets."

 

"I don't like caskets, I hate them!"

 

"I know you hate caskets. I don't like 'em either. But I do like you, Jon."

 

"I like you too, Gene. But I still hate caskets!"

 

"I know, I know, Jon. But I have an idea"

 

"You do? Okay. That sounds good."

 

snitsky-heidenreich-raw.jpg

 

 

My thoughts:

 

Really good match! Took a little while to get going, but once it did, with the near falls at the end especially, it was great. Edge hadn't quite got to the levels he would soon reach at this point, but you can tell he's almost there, and Shawn does a great job making him look as much on his level as possible.

 

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What I quite liked aswell about the whole Holly/Lesnar 2004 thing, is that at No Way Out after Goldberg & Brock's little in-ring segment, Holly's match is scheduled next against Rhyno and he legs it down to the ring whilst Brock is still in there and chases him off.

 

That sort of thing doesn't happen any more, Ambrose & Wyatt can spend months scrapping away, but when they have had there fued ender, they go back to pretending each other don't exist.

 

Here here. I remember that really distinctly and thought it was a nice touch too. 

 

Met Holly when he came over for a show in Melbourne. Lovely bloke, and settled in really well with everyone backstage. Top guy.

 

Just listened to a podcast with JR interviewing Holly. I recommend you check it out, great little listen, just search "Ross Report Hardcore Holly" and it should come up.

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Missed a day again. Oops. In my defence, ended up watching Russell Madness instead.

 

There's not been much good said about the 2006 Royal Rumble on here recently. But I'm going to give it a go anyway...

 

 

The match:

 

This was the one that had the McMahons as Romans on the poster. I can see Vince taking inspiration from a Caligula or a Nero. He's got the facial expression for it as well. There's an academic essay or magazine article in this Vince/Roman Emperor parallel.

 

I'll skip past the Spirit Squad interrupting Lilian's introduction. 

 

Triple H out at number 1! I like the look of this arena, incidentally. I really do. It's unique. Okay, it looks a bit corny with the colosseum backdrop and the two skinny blokes with capes opening the doors for people. But I even like that about it. It's the Colosseum! BRING THIS BACK! Currently the arena set is my favourite thing about this match. Granted, the match hasn't started yet, but the 30 entrants now have to top the Colosseum. Good luck with that, guys.

 

I can't remember much about Triple H's post-Batista-feud, pre-DX-reunion life. He's got his Lemmy (RIP) facial hair.

 

There's a flabby Hunico lookalike in the crowd who's very pleased to see Triple H.

 

Rey's music has just started and there's already been one reference to Eddie Guerrero (RIP).

 

Eddie Guerrero reference count: 1

 

Oh, and he's come out on a lowrider.

 

Eddie Guerrero reference count: 2

 

Cole mentions that at the press conference, Rey said he would dedicate his win (if he wins, presumably) to Eddie.

 

Eddie Guerrero reference count: 3

 

Lawler mentions how close Rey was to Eddie.

 

Eddie Guerrero reference count: 4

 

Rey's also wearing an Eddie t-shirt (and arm bands).

 

5

 

And he just did Eddie's little shaky-chest arm-wavy thing he used to do.

 

6

 

We get a long lingering close-up of Eddie's t-shirted face as Rey lays it on the car, and he's not rushed about getting to the ring. Did WWE pick out a kid from the crowd, shove a Rey mask on and push them to the front for the bit where Rey touches heads with a random kid? Or is it genuine? Same question with Bret and the sunglasses.

 

Rey's 2006 music was a bit rubbish. I'm not going to count 'Eddie' chants as references, but if the commentators reference the chants like Cole just did there, I will.

 

7

 

Did Triple H and Rey ever have much interaction outside of matches like this? They're working very well in the early going. Rey does the same chin-slingshot thing that Edge did to Michaels last year, but a 619 is ducked. Their one-on-one match is sadly cut short by Simon Dean coming out on his segway. Gymini aren't with him. Cole sounds shocked that a SmackDown guy is going after a SmackDown guy when Dean goes after Rey. 

 

Simon thinks he's eliminated Rey - he'd totally have a fitbit if he was around today - but Triple H knocks him out, Rey hits a springboard senton, and he and Triple H eliminate Simon Dean together! Then promptly go back to fighting each other. Cole mentions the Eddie chants again.

 

8

 

Bronco Buster for Triple H, and then Psicosis is out! Now this should be fun, I'll happily have some Rey vs. Psicosis. He just took down Triple H with a heel kick! And uses Rey to assist in a leg drop on him! Go Psicosis! Big face plant for Rey - did he and Psicosis ever get a match together in Psicosis' WWE run? Other than One Night Stand, anyway. Sadly, their interaction doesn't last long as Rey hurricanranas Psicosis out and then gets hit with a spinebuster.

 

Ric Flair! Running down, his moobs flopping with the jog, and he's gone straight for Triple H! Some great couplings in the early going. Their Last Man Standing was a couple of months ago at this time, if I remember my last rewatch-project correctly. He's got the upper hand on Trips here, but eats a knee to the face. Ric grabs him by the cock, however, and punches and chops him until Triple H does an eye rake, which Ric does back. 

 

Meanwhile during all of this Rey's having a rest in the corner. Very sensible.

 

Flair's backdropped out, bye bye. And then Big Show! I really like the way they're structuring these entries so far. Big Show got a verifiable pop here! My earlier question about what Triple H has been up to is answered here, because apparently he's been feuding with Show. Broke his hand, so they say! Show headbutts Rey to keep him in the corner a bit longer. Sidewalk slam for Triple H, and a body slam and an elbow and another elbow and he might actually last his interval! 

 

Eh. Coach. I did quite like Coach, I remember the shock of his heel turn in 2003, but I hope he gets eliminated straight away. Yep! Show grabs him by the throat and shoves him backwards - I can't count that as a chokeslam, sadly - and goes straight back to Triple H with a press slam. He's not even bothered with Lazy Mysterio, who must have been lying about in the corner for five minutes by this point.

 

THERE WE GO! Chokeslam!

 

Royal Rumble chokeslam count: 14

 

And then Lashley. BOOF! He's got pyro! And music that sounds very similar to Hardcore Holly. They must have had such high hopes for him. He must have been such a disappointment to them. He reverses a chokeslam, damn him, and takes Show by the knees and flips him over! Nice! Lashley then kicks him in the gut and he falls out of the ring with the force of it. Then he notices Rey's finally got up and whips him into the corner, at which point he goes down again. Power!

 

Kane now - Big Show's tag team partner, in 2006 as it was in 2015 - and Lashley looks a bit scared before they exchange strikes. Big men! Belly to belly by Lashers and Triple H gets his second press slam of the match so far.

 

Rey continues to lie in the corner. He's done fuck all since before Flair came in.

 

Dominator for Kane and Lashley wanders around celebrating instead of eliminating anyone, which is silly. But Sylvan's in next so I expect Lashley's going to get at least one on his tally. Sylvan's bigger than I remember, he's almost as tall as Lashley, and he's gone! Good elimination. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM FOR LASHLEY! 

 

Royal Rumble chokeslam count: 15

 

And the young hope for the future is promptly chucked out by Kane and Big Show. I repeat, in 2006, as it was in 2015.

 

Kane and Show go after each other and nobody's all that fussed as they exchange simultaneous chokes, but everybody wakes up when Triple H eliminates them both at the same time!

 

Rey's still lying in the corner. Heart of a champion, that lad. I'm quite happy to see Carlito go straight after him. I liked Carlito. Whoever picked him in the surprise entrant pool this year, good call. Rey's actually fucking woken up for a few seconds, but gets taken down by Carlito soon after. I would have liked him to have kept the full Carlito Caribbean Cool name. That sentiment might just be me.

 

Oh heck, it's Benoit. I've avoided him up to know, but there he is. I get a bit of an empty feeling in the bottom of your throat when I see him these days. He just did the Bret Hart turnbuckle thing and he and Triple H try to suplex each other over the top rope. You know what, I'm on Team Triple H here, I want him to ring. He's actually having a go at each new opponent. Rey has actually gone back to the same corner he was in before and is lying there again.

 

Flying headbutt for Triple H, good little mini-match he and Benoit just had, and it's Booker T next, wearing long tights! And he's the US Champion. Straight for Benoit. Great pedigree of people in here at the moment, or there was for a second, because Booker's already out. Lawler points out he didn't even last as long as Coach, which isn't a great thing for poor Booker. Triple H and Mysterio have been in for 23 minutes at this point. I swear Rey's spent more than half of that lying on the mat.

 

Mercury! I was expecting him in last year's match. He and Nitro had a unique way of wearing the tag title belts. Rey gets up for a second, Mercury punches him and he goes twirling, twirling, twirling

 

 

… not towards freedom, but back to a corner to lie down some more. Fuck's sake, Rey, show some effort.

 

Oh right, there we go, Carlito takes Mercury down and Rey gets up to join in stamping him. 

 

Wow, we're already halfway! IT'S TATANKA! Carlito looks appalled, Triple H looks generally knackered. Tatanka punches Carlito, chops Triple H, same again, and a double shot for both of them. Triple H bumping like a mad thing for Tatanka, nice! The crowd are kind of into this! He was still around a few months later, wasn't he? I could swear I saw Tatanka vs. Road Warrior Animal at the WrestleMania Revenge Tour in Newcastle in 2006. Nitro's in next, so Tatanka takes on both of MNM, and Triple H is nearly nearly nearly eliminated by Benoit. So we've got Triple H vs. Benoit in one bit of the ring, Tatanka vs. MNM in another, and Carlito trying to stop Mysterio from having another nap in another.

 

Lawler points out the Eddie chant. It's been a while. "Maybe Eddie just wanted to watch Rey for a long time tonight."

 

Eddie Guerrero reference count: 9

 

The "strange looking dude" Trevor Murdoch is in at 17, and meanwhile Triple H throws Rey over the top, but he hangs on, and then clings to the bottom rope like a koala or Road Dogg in 2000, because he's a lazy twat who can't be bothered to ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING while Triple H puts all the effort in. Cole says maybe someone (I wonder who) must be looking out for Rey tonight.

 

10 (it's not explicit, but that's blatantly what they mean)

 

Oh, in case we didn't get it, Eddie gets name checked again.

 

11

 

Number 18 is Eugene, and people are actually pretty hyped to see him. Interesting. He tries to shake hands with Murdoch, so Murdoch punches him. Eugene Hulks Up and gets Murdoch in an Airplane Spin. Rey takes advantage of Eugene's dizziness and hits a bulldog on him and Trevor at the same time. His first decent offensive move in forever and he uses it on Eugene of all people! Poor show, Rey.

 

Aha! Speaking of Animal, he's here next, and he takes out both of MNM and then Triple H! Trips is taking moves from basically everyone. Rey's back in the corner. Is Tatanka still in there? There's loads of them, I can't tell but I don't think anyone's gone out for a while. So this was before they 'reinvented' him as The Road Warrior, then.

 

10 people in the ring at the moment, and there's at least one big Tatanka fan in the audience, because they just did the AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY thing.

 

HUUUUUUUUGE (well, big) pop for ROB VAN DAM! This should pick things up! HUUUUUUGE (actually huge) 'RVD' chant. They completely missed the boat on him. 2006 was so late to give him the title, great as the circumstances of his win were. Saying that, I wonder whether he should have won a Rumble at some point. I'd pick him over Rey here! 

 

Contrast that reaction to the DEATHLY silence Orlando Jordan gets. You can tangibly feel all the life being sucked out of the audience with every note of his music. Did anybody, anywhere, ever care about Orlando Jordan, apart from when he went against Warrior?

 

We're already up to 22?! Cripes. 22 is Chavo, who immediately "pays homage to his uncle Eddie"...

 

12

 

… which starts a chant, which Cole references...

 

13

 

Chavo picks Rey (I automatically wrote Eddie there, Freudian slip) out of his corner and slams him down again, and sets about doing the Three Amigos on one of MNM. "This is what Eddie used to do", you know.

 

14

 

Chavo then goes up to the top rope… the crowd's behind him … and Triple H just pushes him off to eliminate him. HA. Sorry, Chavo. If we're having someone do this match for Eddie, it certainly can't be one of his relatives. Seeya.

 

Matt Hardy "will not die", and I'm at least thankful that didn't turn into an Eddie reference. See, they do have standards! Did I mention Animal's been eliminated? He was, anyway, a while ago. 

 

Rey's up and about again, he and RVD almost almost almost almost almost eliminated Triple H. Very almost. 39 minutes for them now. Rey's apparently had his eye on Triple H since he eliminated Chavo, who, lest we forget, is Eddie Guerrero's nephew.

 

15

 

Tatanka's out, Mercury seems to be taking credit for it. He and Nitro have a bit of a hug, before Super Crazy comes out next and hits a top rope cross body on both of them. We need some more eliminations, I can feel this starting to drag after what was a pretty good first section. I might get what I want because it's Shawn Michaels! Wow, loads of people had pyro at this point in time. Shawn's going after everyone, come on Shawn, get 'em! Murdoch sends him for his flippy turnbuckle bit, but it's turned into an elimination for Trevor! Rey seems to have successfully rested because he's helping RVD try to get rid of Benoit.

 

CHECK OUT THAT ROBE ON THE MASTERPIECE! More pyro! So much pyro in 2006! Bring this back!

 

yhavBVQ.gif

 

Just bring Masters back, for that matter. Hardy keeps trying to eliminate Triple H, but it's not happening. Rey's in a corner again, but Masters picks him up and tries to get rid of him. Ah… is this why there are so many people in the ring? So Viscera could come and be a monster to them? 

 

Perhaps not. He just dry humped Matt Hardy, though. That was weird and awful. Then Matt gets eliminated. I do not remember that move.

 

Shelton's next with his mum while Benoit eliminates Eugene. I think there are two entries left, one of them is presumably going to get rid of loads of people? Super Crazy's clinging onto the ropes for dear life then escapes Viscera to drag Rey out of his corner for the 457th time.

 

"WHAT?!" 

 

GOLDUST! He's back! With yet more pyro! Number 30 must have been a big name, then, I honestly don't remember. There's at least a dozen in right now. Mysterio's in the corner, but you probably knew that. Oh no, hang on, he's got out of it and is attacked one of MNM! Well done Rey!

 

Randy Orton, okay then, let's see. Eliminates Benoit for starters, RKO to Viscera, Jordan's attacking him now so he can't be long for the world. I don't think I like there being so many guys in the ring after all the entries have come in. Masters and Carlito got rid of Vis, then Carlito gets rid of Masters, then gets kicked square in the nuts by Goldust. RVD then kicks Goldust, who goes twirling, twirling twirling...

 

 

… over the top rope, kind of awkwardly actually. Orton gets rid of Jordan, who lasted far longer than he should have done. We get a little bit of Michaels vs. Triple H before MNM double-team Shawn. I wouldn't mind 2009-DX vs. 2006-MNM. Not 2006-DX, though, they'd have killed MNM dead. Or did they anyway? I don't think they did. Anyway, Mercury just took a flip bump elimination and then Nitro swiftly followed, well done Shawn, who then gets kicked in the head by Shelton, but gets revenge by hitting Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Benjamin, who goes flying, and then Vince McMahon comes out, very bravely considering how interrupting the end of the Royal Rumble went for him the previous year.

 

Vince distracts Shawn while everyone has a rest in the corners, and SHANE MCMAHON! Orton does a great little point with his finger when Shane turns up. Shane throws Shawn over the top rope, they don't really make clear if this means he's eliminated, but I think he is, he shouldn't have been though, he runs back in to get Shane, Triple H goes for a Pedigree (to which Shane gives a lovely little thumbs up), but Shawn reverses and goes chasing after McMahon. He's gone then.

 

While I was writing that, we're down to Triple H, who's been great all match, Rey, who's been in ages and done very little, Orton, who's fresh, and RVD who seems to have had the crowd on his side. It becomes Rey vs. HHH and RVD vs. Orton, Rey and RVD team up, so this might not have been long since they were SmackDown tag champions (or did that come later? No, it was 2004, wasn't it?) RVD hits Rolling Thunder on Orton, he goes up to the top rope, but Triple H runs Rey into him and that's RVD out. Your fault, Rey.

 

He's back in his corner again.

 

Orton and Triple H stare each other down… and appear to have teamed up. Weren't they deadly rivals not too long ago? They try for a double backdrop on Mysterio, but he counters into a double DDT! Dropkicks for both of them! Orton set up for the 619! He ducks Triple H! Triple H next to Orton! Crowd's alive! Double 619!

 

"619 times 2!" says Jerry Lawler. Indeed!

 

I'm really pleased Rey's actually doing stuff again, he was really good in the early going of this match.

 

Jerry mentions Eddie again for a reason I didn't quite catch...

 

16

 

… Orton gets a senton, then Triple H almost takes Rey's head off with a clothesline! Rey kind of slid across the ring on his back from that! Lawler says he feels the spirit of Eddie Guerrero smiling down on Rey. 

 

17

 

Triple H counters the RKO and hits a spinebuster. Triple H and Rey are both back up…. REY ELIMINATES TRIPLE H! That got a MASSIVE pop! They've been building that up for an hour and it was worth it! Triple H is in shock. That was good. 

 

Rey and Orton are both slowly getting to their feet… but Triple H is almost as sore a loser as Hulk Hogan in 1992, and drags Rey under the bottom rope to throw him into the steps. Orton mouths something at the crowd and then tells Rey he's going over the top rope. He doesn't go over the top rope - he gets Orton over! Rey wins!

 

"Latino Heat is alive and well!" 

 

18

 

Rey's dedicating the victory to Eddie Guerrero!

 

19

 

Cole repeats the above.

 

20

 

We get a replay of Triple H's elimination and then the winning elimination, and I think the former might have got the bigger reaction there.

 

Cole's final words are almost about how it's taken Rey 16 years to get to the top from his very first match… but adds a Viva La Raza, just because.

 

21

 

They seem to want the announcers to keep talking as Rey's celebrating, because they're running out of ways to say "he won you guys! WrestleMania!"

 

And then weirdly there's two more matches. (I know the Undertaker return happened right at the end, but it's still odd-feeling to have the Rumble plonked in the middle like that.)

 

 

My thoughts:

 

Not as overtly about the Eddie Guerrero thing as I'd feared, actually, which was a pleasant surprise. There's a load at the start, and a load at the end, but during the majority of the match itself, other than chants (and I don't think I heard one 'Rey' chant, it was all Eddie), there wasn't that much. This may be because Rey Mysterio spent the majority of the match lying around doing very little - and that was actually more surprising to me. When he was up and about and doing stuff, he was his usual good self, but while there was a load of that at the start, and a load at the end, during the majority of the match itself, there wasn't that much.

 

Triple H was the star of this one, he was active and interesting the entire time.

 

For the match itself, while I wasn't keen on the ring filling up with no single big pay off from that, it was perfectly watchable, especially the opening third which kept things moving really well. It's got its problems, but it's not all bad.

 

Chavo was robbed, too.

 

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Catch-up day today, so two matches. Starting with John Cena vs. Umaga from 2007.

 

 

The match:

 

Always liked the poster for this show.

 

Royal_Rumble_07.jpg

 

Right then. This is for the WWE Title, it's a Last Man Standing match (which should serve as suitable preparation for Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose in a week's time, watch out for exploding electronics Dean!) and Umaga has Armando Estrada in his corner. I read on here yesterday that Vince thought it was too crowded to have Estrada there in the Umaga-Lashley match at WrestleMania 23, which is bollocks on several levels. For a start, stick on any Survivor Series match from the late 80s, and you'd have three or four managers per team in some of those matches. Booo Vince.

 

Cena's looking very serious. Umaga's teeth are shiny in HD. The 'WW' on the spiny belt is set to 8 o'clock.

 

Oh, I liked Estrada. Shame.

 

Cena looks so young! It was nine years ago now, I suppose, but still, so young! His abdomen is taped up. They have a nose to nose which is very cool and then just get stuck into each other, which neither guy going down… until Umaga ducks and just THWACKS John in the gut, sending him flying. Great opening!

 

Cena tries to climb back in the ring but Umaga's not having it, so he throws him shoulder first into the ring steps.

 

Estrada used to carry cigars in his jacket pocket. Managers! AM I RIGHT?

 

They're heading up the aisle, they're heading back down the aisle, Umaga gets his head hit off the apron BUT HE HAS A HEAD OF VIBRANIUM AND IT DOESN'T WORK. They get back in the ring and that head meet's Cena's, then Umaga starts working on the abdomen again. JR is calling this match really well, as is Lawler. If Umaga gives Cena one kick like he gave Steve-O that time, he'll be down for about 100.

 

 

OOF! Clothesline! It's great when simple moves can look so nasty. 

 

The steps are in the ring… John fights back! Umaga goes flying off the apron … and the stairs go flying over the top rope right into Umaga's face! That looked deadly on the replay.

 

Umaga's hurting a bit now, but he still gets a heel kick in on Cena, and now it's bearhug time. The steps soon come back into the ring, they're set up in the corner, Cena's sat against them, and I'm guessing a big Umaga thigh to the face will soon follow… The ringside photographers are snapping away… do they still have those? …. Umaga charges … Cena moves! Umaga smacks into the steps! Nice.

 

Cena then lift the steps, pretending they're really heavy (which is shit), and hits Umaga with them. He takes a bit of time following up, though, and by the time he's ready to come off the top rope Umaga catches him and hits the move I want to call the Catatonic but probably isn't. Chris Harris used to use it as a finisher, Chris Sabin did a version into a backbreaker. Cena does a scream because he must have landed on his abs, which Umaga's now using the ropes to jump up and down on. Cena manages to get his knees up into Umaga's groin, and hits his flipping facebuster thing onto the steps! Then his spinny not quite a back suplex thing onto the steps! Then the Five Knuckle Shuffle on the steps! I'm guessing an FU on the steps? Not exactly, they both fell forward and both hit the steps… hmm.

 

This is getting serious, Armando's got his hat off.

 

Ooh heck, Cena's bleeding! This is quite a rare sight. Umaga smells the blood and goes after him, and within seconds it's all over his torso. I don't miss blood but it does make a fantastic visual for big matches like this. There's people chanting 'Cena sucks' which wasn't true even in 2007. Umaga's trying his best to take Cena down but he's totally fired up, he hits himself in the head and goes right for Umaga, but one BRUTAL Samoan Drop later, he's back down. Great comeback sequence!

 

Umaga's signalling for the Samoan Spike. "Nobody survives the Samoan Spike, they never have and I don't think they ever will", is a great call by JR. Cena manages to block it, but gets hung upside down in the corner for his trouble. You can see the blood dripping down onto the mat from his head. He hits the leg drop fameasser thing, Umaga goes crashing into the post, Estrada gets knocked down. Cena is COVERED in blood. I think this is a more impressive sight for the fact you just don't see Cena covered in blood every month.

 

Umaga gets a monitor to the head but gets up in time, he's knocked through the second rope, Cena comes after him but gets thrown into the post and then the steps. He's draped over an announce table - that's going to have his blood on it the rest of the night, now - and he's taking the tops off all the tables. Three Table Sprint! He runs across all the tables and Cena moves out of the way! BELLY FLOP INTO THE TABLE! Nice!

 

He gets up at 9. Estrada, meanwhile, just took the top rope off! Seems excessive when Umaga only wanted the turnbuckle, but okay! FU! Umaga smacked with the turnbuckle! STFU! He's choking him out with the top rope! "EVEN A MONSTER'S GOTTA BREATHE!" cries JR, another great call. Now they're chanting "Cena, Cena". Crazy contrast of faces here - rather than them both screaming and thrashing around, Cena's doing that as the aggressor while Umaga just lolls his tongue out of his mouth and dribbles nearer and nearer to unconsciousness. Genuinely looks like he's being strangled. Not something you'll ever see again, I expect. No stranglings. (That's probably a good thing.) He gets up once … but he doesn't the second time! Cena wins!

 

It's a good thing they fixed the top rope before the Rumble, or nobody could have won or lost.

 

They were still doing the 'picking the numbers out' segments in 2007. Sandman cracking himself with a Kendo stick followed by Flair dancing with Extreme Expose. And then it's Jerry Lawler, JBL and Cole on commentary. Shades of 2015.

 

My thoughts:

 

That was a great match. Really good. (Sorry, air_raid.) Umaga and Cena both played their parts extremely well, Cena especially was fantastic. This guy's had so many great matches with so many different opponents, it beggars belief that there'd still be people out there who think every single one of his opponents has carried him. Ridiculous. The guy's amazing. 

 

There's a few slow moments in the match, but I like that they mostly just used what they had to tell the story and sell the brutality. The top rope loosening was novel - I'm not sure I'm on board with the choking but it's a way to win one of those matches without having to resort to over-the-top gimmickry or a massive stunt. Be interesting to see what they come up with next week.

 

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Straight on to 2008, and another recommendation from this thread: Ric Flair vs. MVP.

 

 

The match:

 

This is the first Rumble in HD, which I know because Cole just told me, so forget what I said in the last post about Umaga's shiny teeth.

 

I love the set up for this one as well. Old school MSG. Love it. I don't remember the opening video where they're all on a subway train beating each other up, but that was cool. The rest of the video makes me excited for the Rumble. I like that.

 

If Ric Flair loses this match, he has to retire.

 

Coach was still with WWE in 2008? 

 

Ric's doing a pre-match farewell to the New York crowd. 'Madison Flair Garden' is a good sign. But before he can finish… it's MVP. How dare he! He's the US Champion. It's been fascinating to watch the effect of gravity on Ric Flair's moobs over the years. From 1992 to 2002 to now, he's definitely aged.

 

MVP still with TNA?

 

They do some initial locking up and testing each other out, and MVP does his 'slam dunk' gesture which annoys Flair, who starts working on MVP's arm. MVP slaps him in the face and is met with a flurry and chops n' stuff. Many "Woo"s! MVP takes him down and then kicks him in the head, hits a neckbreaker and gets 1. 1 counts are never referenced as such, really, are they, they're just 'a kick out'. 

 

Time for a hold! It's like half a chinlock and half an arm lock, but it doesn't last that long because Flair's managed to take out MVP's knee, he goes for the Figure Four, MVP kicks him and Flair goes bouncing away! He tries a second time and it's reversed into a pin attempt, and I have to say, watching this just after 2007, you can see the difference in the HD stuff.

 

Flair's hit with a back body drop, and then the Helluva Kick! Which obviously wouldn't have been called that then, but I'd forgotten MVP used to do that. Flair got his feet on the ropes, MVP thought he'd won, Flair takes advantage with a rollup of his own. Charles Robinson, better ref than Mike Chioda, Chioda would have just given MVP that then changed his mind. KEN SHAMROCK HAD THAT MATCH WON IN 1998 CHIODA. NEVER FORGET.

 

Blimey, they just did a superplex! Flair was going for the big bumps right til the end, wasn't he? His hair's not as good as it was in '92.

 

Flair tries a series of pin attempts, and he's really giving some welly to those chops, but MVP knees him and goes for the Playmaker (which he'd previously beaten Flair with - the previous June! Well remembered, Cole. If this match had happened this year, well, it wouldn't have done because they'd have had to trade wins twice a week for the entire month of January, and the whole Career Threatening thing would never have got off the ground in the first place, but… I forget my initial point) but Flair locks in the Figure Four! MVP taps! Flair wins!

 

MVP's off after Robinson to complain while Flair waves farewell to the MSG crowd. Then we go to Vince McMahon and Hornswoggle. No ta.

 

 

My thoughts:

 

Decent match. It had stakes behind it, it had investment, even though you know Flair was winning (obviously you know that watching now, but even then you knew). Nothing mind-blowing or unforgettable, but perfectly fine. Good recommendation, because it's not a match I'd have picked otherwise!

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2009 kind of follows on directly from my 2008 pick for Survivor Series. It's the match that bloody well should have been a feature match at WrestleMania in 2009, Edge vs. Jeff Hardy.

 

 

The match:

 

Jeff is the WWE Champion at the start of this match, and gets what JR describes as "a rock star-like ovation". I can't disagree. They should be doing their utmost to get him back on some sort of part time deal.

 

Ah, Vickie Guerrero's interrupted, with what's surely a bad wig, to announce that the match is now No DQ. Also Edge is her husband at this point. I remember that.

 

I don't take back whatever it was I said about Edge and his long hair in my 2005 write-up, but as he stands there with the fireworks going off around him, he's absolutely main event material here. There's (I would say) a noticeable difference in how he carries himself compared to then. 

 

Chavo's with him, actually looking younger than he did when he was in Los Guerreros in 2003.

 

They do the introductions, and yeah, this could and should have been on at WrestleMania. Jeff gets straight into it with various attacks and strikes and things like that, and the crowd chants that they want Christian.

 

Edge rolls out, Jeff goes to chase him, Edge rolls back in, Jeff gets a chair, Edge stops him and punches him back into the ring, with one punch sending Jeff bouncing across the ring. The crowd now chants for Hardy.

 

This is a No DQ match but there's really been no use of weapons yet. 2000 Jeff Hardy would not have lasted this long without some sort of weapon use. They do another in-out-in-out thing, Jeff goes to dive over the top rope, lands on the apron, and jumps off with a clothesline on the floor.

 

'If that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' count: 21

 

You'd think Chavo would get involved more, seeing as this is No DQ. Oh wait, hang on, as Hardy tries to jump up over the ropes, Chavo grabbed his leg and Edge kicked him away. Hardy gets thrown in the barricade, and this is surprisingly more of a slow burner than I expected it would be. Edge may be seeking to change this, however, as he bangs Jeff's head off each announce table in succession.

 

NEW MATCH TYPE: Announce Table Head Smash Match. Like those leather strap matches where you have to touch all the corners, but with announce tables and heads.

 

Edge gets booed by the crowd, tries to pin Jeff, Jeff kicks out, Edge kicks him in the ribs, Edge kind of gets cheered a bit by the crowd. Waistlock time! Edge has got a kind of crazed look on his face as he applies the hold, like he's trying for some spooning and won't take 'fuck off, I just want to go to sleep' for an answer. 

 

Jeff gets a bit of a comeback on the top rope, shoving Jeff off, but as he dives, he gets dropkicked for 2. Edge goes out to get a second chair, and picks up the one from before as well, but Jeff spears him off the apron and dives onto him over the top rope.

 

'If that were a Rumble, he'd have been eliminated' count: 22

 

This match still doesn't quite feel like it's got into gear yet, but Jeff just hit a Twist of Fate on the apron which was quite nice. They're nearing big bump territory but, I don't know, it still feels a bit like the early going, feeling out process style of thing. However, that may well be about to change because Hardy just found a ladder under the ring. IT'S LIKE THEY KNEW IT'D BE A NO DQ MATCH! Edge is plonked on an announce table, Jeff climbs the ladder, Chavo tries to stop him, gets knocked off the ladder and Jeff dives onto him. Edge gets shoved into the ring post, Chavo into the steps, and then he's plonked on the same announce table. Jeff's heading up the ladder…. OOOOOOOF! As he went onto the top step and jumped off, the ladder fell away, THAT could have been very very much worse! Actually, I think it did fall away before he was ready to jump because he didn't quite get all of Chavo there. That's the Chavo factor sorted then!

 

Jeff's not feeling the effects of that move, because he's able to cross body Edge (now in the ring again) from the top rope for 2, but then Edge kicks him in the face again and takes the top turnbuckle off (happily, without having to take the entire rope apart) but Whisper in the Wind comes at him and Jeff gets another 2. Edgecution! 2. Roll up by Jeff, 2. They counter each other's moves for a bit then Hardy's face lands on the exposed turnbuckle, 2.

 

Edge goes for the Spear, countered! Twist of Fate! Nice counter! Everyone's standing up in the crowd as Jeff slowly goes for the Swanton, Vickie Guerrero tries to interfere but gets pushed away (quite gently) and the Swanton connects! 1, 2, Vickie pulls the referee away! Which she can do, of course. Matt Hardy's out! The crowd's loud now (they've been a little bit muted during the match at times). He brought a chair, and the Hardys look like they're going to Conchairto Edge (Tazz actually says "Conchairto City", which shows to me they've been trying to get "[prefix] City" over for something for decades now) but Matt smacks Jeff in the head! Well, the shoulder, but it looks a lot like the head. He stands there looking a bit weird as Edge gets the 3 count. 

 

One chairshot?! One? Jeff took about 10 in the Dudleys match in 2000 and WON the bloody match!

 

Matt walks out looking most uncaring (we don't often get turns like that these days, do we? People just end up being face or heel one week. Am I right in saying that? Rollins turned on the Shield but I honestly can't think of many more recent than that. Remind me) and I knew that twist was coming because the WrestleMania match actually ended up being Matt vs. Jeff, but I didn't hate it, it added a bit of twisty-turny to the match. If they'd gone with the (what I think was) proposed match of E&C vs. Hardys, that'd have been a fantastic WrestleMania match as well, which I'd have been quite happy with. Better than what Edge ended up with at that Mania. Jeff as well, if I'm honest. And a good thing for the other two and all.

 

Oh yeah, this means Jeff's not Champion anymore either. 

 

 

My thoughts:

 

I think I built this up a bit too much in my head beforehand. It was a good match, but it wasn't the tear-the-house-down show stealer I thought it would have been. Especially with the No DQ stipulation. I dunno, I just didn't quite get into it, and as I said above, it never really felt like it got into high gear for me. Just seems like a missed opportunity for something special. People have high praise (understandably) for the Punk-Jeff match at Summerslam that year, maybe I just thought this would be more like that. The match it ended up being would have been fine for a regular match, I think, and it was fine, but … I wanted more. Which I'm sure it would have had if it had been at bleeding WrestleMania!

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