Jump to content

A Royal Rumble (PPV) match a day


HarmonicGenerator

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 83
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Paid Members

Matt Hardy was in at 3 and after some Poetry in Motion, the Hardys eliminate Bull and lock up against each other. WrestleMania match, this one!

 

How ironic, when they actually did have a match at WrestleMania, it was a colossal letdown since by that point it was a terrible waste of the star that was Jeff Hardy, since his brother was nowhere near his level. But of course by 2009, we were into the run of Manias where some results only existed so rematches could happen next month (see Orton/Kane, Mania 28) - so Midcardy was nonsensically permitted to beat his brother. Create a hot new babyface star at the tail end of the calendar year.... at Mania, have him lose to Matt Hardy. Utter bullshit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

 

Unprotected headshot count: 11

 

I'm not sure that the UK Fan Forum is, in 2016, the most appropriate platform to scold addled superstars from the Attitude era. While well written, many of your retrospective reviews resemble the deserved victory lap of a long-suffering campaigner for neurological safety.

 

He's just pointing out something that you just don't see anymore. He didn't post a link to Chris Nowinski's Go Fund Me or offer a thesis on why Benoit is innocent.

 

Watching events, or matches, that I consider relatively recent (agree with Butchi's point on Nostalgia) and you can count a whole load of things that we've now become unaccustomed to. For the last ten years, we've rarely seen unprotected headshots and for the last six of seven rarely seen blood. So if you go back and watch matches from ten to fifteen years ago, it's now quite sickening to see the number of viscious shots the guys were taking and the amount of blood on display. 10+ chairshots to the head in a run of the mill tag title match. Bleeding up and down the cards. It's a different world.

 

Keep up the good work HG. And justice for Dr. Roboto.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

Unprotected headshot count: 11

 

I'm not sure that the UK Fan Forum is, in 2016, the most appropriate platform to scold addled superstars from the Attitude era. While well written, many of your retrospective reviews resemble the deserved victory lap of a long-suffering campaigner for neurological safety.

 

He's just pointing out something that you just don't see anymore. He didn't post a link to Chris Nowinski's Go Fund Me or offer a thesis on why Benoit is innocent.

 

Watching events, or matches, that I consider relatively recent (agree with Butchi's point on Nostalgia) and you can count a whole load of things that we've now become unaccustomed to. For the last ten years, we've rarely seen unprotected headshots and for the last six of seven rarely seen blood. So if you go back and watch matches from ten to fifteen years ago, it's now quite sickening to see the number of viscious shots the guys were taking and the amount of blood on display. 10+ chairshots to the head in a run of the mill tag title match. Bleeding up and down the cards. It's a different world.

 

Keep up the good work HG. And justice for Dr. Roboto.

 

The moralism comes through pretty clearly to me, although there are admittedly more jarring examples than the one I quoted originally. There's an odd double-think at work if it's reasonable to criticise a wrestler for jeopardising his health while simultaneously ranking his match as your favourite on the card.

 

As a rule, I don't think the moral high ground is meant for wrestling fans. The number of brain injuries may have lessened but people are still destroying their bodies for our amusement.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

As a rule, I don't think the moral high ground is meant for wrestling fans. The number of brain injuries may have lessened but people are still destroying their bodies for our amusement.

Nothing to do with potential money and fame then?

 

It's hardly taking the moral high ground to appreciate some of the things that have been done to make their jobs safer. But at the end of the day, no-one is making them do any of these things. They do it because they want to live that life.

 

I can enjoy wresting with or without it. Or could anyway. I definitely prefer it without now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Awards Moderator

As do I, Rick. What I've found watching these Big 4 matches back over the last year is how, for a little while there at least, the frequency of stuff like that is really surprising - as you pointed out, in a midcard tag match there was about 10 shots to the head - and is such a stark contrast to today, I find it interesting to note that contrast by keeping count. I can understand the arguments made for missing the blood in big matches but I'm not sure there's really anyone who misses the head shots that much. I haven't been intending to criticise people for doing them at the time (though if they were doing that knowing what we know now, it'd be fair to) but that doesn't stop it having been a bit of a stupid thing to be doing 10 times a match. But yeah, the counting is just a matter of interest - as you again pointed out, it's something you just don't see anymore and it's interesting to note how often it used to happen. Unlike the chokeslams, which are a staple throughout history and long may they remain so.

 

 

Anyway, I mentioned blood there, which was obviously an extremely clever tie in to my 2002 pick, Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon, which I haven't seen since it was first on but remember being a bloodbath.

 

 

The match:

 

This show hits all the TV-14 warnings! Dialogue, Suggestive Language, Violence and Sexy Stuff!

 

Vince looks like a freak of nature. That ain't natural looking. It's 10 years since Flair won the Rumble. Which is mad, it seems like an age.

 

Lock up and Vince shoves Flair away, and he bumps quite spectacularly! Flair still looks good here, he hadn't melted yet. Trunks are fairly high up, though, possibly holding in some excess Flairbits. His blue get-up's quite nice. Vince has him in a headlock and is dominating this while taunting Flair. 

 

Oh, this is a Street Fight as well.

 

While Vince beats up Flair in the corner, I swear I saw a guy in the crowd picking his nose. Here we go! Chops! One for Flair, but THREE for Vince and a WOO! He's then clotheslined down with a thump by Vince. Flair Flop! Whoa! He even did the flippy turnbuckle thing! I remember Ric writing in his book that he was completely not in the mindset or mentality of thinking he could still 'go' at this point, and it took the Undertaker match at WrestleMania to prove to himself he still had it. (I may have remembered this wrong, it's been a while.) He's certainly going all out on this one, though. Got smacked in the head with a Keep Out sign twice just while I was writing that.

 

Unprotected headshot count: 45-odd by this point

 

Make that 46 because he's just had a bin to the head as well. You don't see those bins around in WWE much anymore. I wonder where they bought them from, because as bins, they're flimsy as anything. Did they have them custom made? Is there a stash of them hanging around the Warehouse? I WANT ANSWERS!

 

Flair's bleeding now, which was to be expected, and he's just been thrown into the steps and bodyslammed on the outside.

 

Commentary's just mentioned that's Flair's children at ringside. That's not Charlotte, is it? Is that Charlotte? That's not Charlotte! Is it Charlotte?! 

 

Whether she is or isn't, that's presumably Reid with her. Vince nicks their camera and helps Ric take a selfie with him. Charlotte-but-maybe-not-Charlotte has the camera thrown back to her - had this match happened today, those photos would have been on Twitter by now - and back in the ring, he's working on Flair's leg. Flair's taken a beating for virtually the whole match here, I don't remember it going on this long!

 

Leg smacked on the apron, against the ringpost, this is almost like the Bret Hart WrestleMania match in reverse, in that all people really wanted was Flair to make a triumphant comeback and beat Vince, but all we're getting is the opposite. This is more entertaining than that travesty, but really, I had remembered this one being a lot more even. He's even got the Figure Four locked in on Flair himself!

 

That's more like it! Pressure reversed and for a second or two, Flair was in control, but Vince rolls out of the ring. Has he got jeans on? Not that that matters, it is a Street Fight after all. 

 

Vince goes to get the lead pipe he always has someone keep at ringside, because you never know when you might need one I suppose, and was planning to hit Flair with it, but a low blow prevents him. NOW we have what we want, Flair chops, Flair punches, and Vince is selling them TREMENDOUSLY. Come on Ric! This is what I want! Commentary monitor to the head! 47 or thereabouts! Those monitors look so dated. We get a weird shot of the monitor replaying the clip of Vince being hit with the monitor, which is like WWE Inception or something.

 

Vince is bleeding as well now. Ric takes Vince over to his kids, and I Can't Tell If It's Charlotte Because The Camera's In Front Of Her Face takes a photo of them with Vince in pain this time.

 

Back in the ring, Ric (possibly unintentionally) rubs Vince's face in his crotch for a bit and one more low blow later, does a strut while JR still puts over how big Vince's balls are on commentary. Lead pipe to the head (that'll be 48 then), a bit of a dance around Vince's leg, a woo or two and the Figure Four is locked in! The crowd is LOVING it. Again, Vince sells the hell out of it, and he taps! Ric Flair wins, and remains undefeated at Royal Rumbles with the year ending in a 2!

 

That's not Charlotte. I'm almost certain it's not. Who is it then? Does he have two daughters? 

 

Flair looks over Vince, then heads up the aisle, with the camera catching a great visual of his bloodied face. 

 

Then we go to backstage with Michael Cole interviewing Nick Patrick about the Regal-Edge match from earlier in the card, leading to Stephanie McMahon (that boob job was one big boob job) promoting Triple H's chances in the Rumble, leading to Stone Cold interrupting to go WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, fucking hell, I quite enjoyed WHAT at the time but, er, it was quite annoying watching back… What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Erm, yeah. WHAT? 

 

 

My thoughts:

 

Okay, on one level this is two old blokes bleeding. But on another, it's pretty okay - it followed the standard pattern of initial bits, heel gets heat, face makes comeback, which is fine. The section with Vince in control went on too long for me, I think, but I suppose it made Flair's comeback all the sweeter when it happened. Vince sold wonderfully for the chops and the Figure Four, and Flair, at least in the early going, was bumping all over the place. The right man won.

 

BUT WAS IT CHARLOTTE? It wasn't, was it?

 

 

 

 

I've left the show on and The Rock's just come to the ring. My god, the reaction he gets. There's nothing like it. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Awards Moderator

Going with something completely different for 2003, and it's a King Pitcos recommendation: Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie...

 

 

The match:

 

Before the match itself, time for a recap! I have a feeling I'm going to get to relive the entire Al Wilson saga.

 

This is the first ever stepmother vs. stepdaughter match. Dawn is a recent widow. Oh yes.

 

A week ago, she was the happiest woman in the world. She married Al Wilson. But also lezzed off with his daughter. The cameras followed them to their honeymoon. On the wedding bed… HE DIED. They defibrillated him and everything. She loved him. He had an open casket at his funeral and everything. Which was also on television. At the funeral, Dawn accuses Torrie of not loving her father. Torrie does some crying. Dawn slaps Torrie. At the funeral. Torrie slaps her back and the coffin almost falls over. So Dawn smashes a lamp over Torrie's back. At the funeral. There's only one way this can end… a match at the Royal Rumble!

 

Yep.

 

"This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been calling a matchup", says Cole. Could be some veiled meaning there.

 

Dawn Marie comes to the ring with a mini black veil over her face. Her outfit is very sparkly and she's announced as Dawn Marie Wilson. The referee looks like Tony Chimel a bit. Dawn apparently blames Torrie for Al's death despite the clear fact she sexed him into the grave.

 

Torrie comes out looking stern. She gets a good reaction. She's still having a bit of a cry. The referee (Mike Sparks, so not a Chimel) has a kind word with her, which is stopped by Dawn jumping in with an elbow to the side of her head. Torrie soon fights back with the standard cat fight head thrash, a hair throw and then a slingshot. Dawn hits another elbow - she hits those quite well, actually - and locks in an arm bar (CLEAR influence on Becky Lynch there) and gets a 2 count. Dawn is loads better than I remember - she had great character work, at the very least. I liked her. 

 

She hits a few more forearms and then a flapjack. I'm not honestly sure what this match will accomplish for either woman, other than closure, I suppose. Al's not coming back to life. Torrie comes back into the match, however, with an arm drag, but Dawn springboards into a clothesline and then shouts something about Torrie being a terrible daughter. Then Torrie hits a neckbreaker and wins. Oh. That was brief.

 

"You have to question what this victory actually means… she picked up the win but she can't bring her father back," says Cole. "But she picked up the win," argues Tazz. Dawn looks angry as she retreats. Torrie doesn't seem totally satisfied either. I can't remember if this was the end of the feud or not.

 

Then we go to a backstage segment and wow, Randy Orton looks young. Then there's a Sean O'Haire vignette. They're not as good as people like to remember them being. Then it's time for Triple H vs. Scott Steiner, so I think I'll switch back to season 6 of How I Met Your Mother.

 

 

My thoughts:

 

I think the pre-match video package was longer than the match there, so it's a bit hard to comment!

 

alwilson13.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Awards Moderator

Eddie vs. Chavo? Tempting, but no. I haven't watched a WWE Title match since 1994 so it's going to have to be Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly for 2004.

 

 

The match:

 

Before it starts, a couple of things about this match.

 

1) Even though I know it is absolutely not going to go this way, part of me is still expecting 2016 Brock Lesnar to turn up here and obliterate Hardcore Holly into nothingness through the medium of suplexes.

 

2) I liked the idea of this match. I remember pretty much nobody else did, but I did. Yeah, fine, you knew beyond any and all doubt that there was simply no conceivable way that Holly was coming within 120,000 miles of winning, but the logic behind the match is absolutely sound. I remember their first match vividly, with Holly being dumped on his head and breaking his neck. He was out over a year. So when he comes back, of course he's going after the man who (storyline) put him out of action for that length of time. And that guy's the champion? Well let me get my revenge AND a shot at the title! It's a little strange that more people who get injured don't return in that way. I guess because they don't like to acknowledge people getting injured in matches. But perhaps they could. Even if on the first show they miss, you say 'so and so was injured in their match against blah blah, and will be out for whatever time' … then they come back with a ready made angle.

 

Okay, maybe that's a bit shit. But it worked in this case - at least, I think it did - and it's better than 50/50 booking. As are most things.

 

3) It might not have seemed like it at the time, but I've just started the show off while I wrote the above, and 2004 is just so refreshing. Everybody seems to want to be there, and everybody seems excited to be there. Even the commentators all announcing themselves sound hyped. The video at the start summed up the four main matches succinctly, and they all had stories of some sort behind them. It made me excited for the show. I just can't see myself getting that feeling this year. :(

 

4) FUCK YOU BATISTA. HE JUST TOLD THEM TO CUT THE MUSIC. THAT'S EVOLUTION'S MUSIC BATISTA. YOU DO NOT CUT EVOLUTION'S MUSIC. DAMN YOU TO HELL!

 

5) Ric Flair's melted loads in the two years since the Vince match. Still took a back body drop on the floor, mind.

 

 

To the match I actually intended to watch!

 

There's one kid with a Hardcore Holly sign. Bless.

 

Ooh, we have my favourite WWE Title belt design. Yeah, fuck you and all your Winged Eagles. The early 2000s belt was gorgeous.

 

I am pleased Tazz isn't still around. Can you imagine Lesnar's matches these days kicking off with "Well…………. here comes the pain!"

 

Lesnar only just gets to do his jump onto the apron before Holly charges into him and knocks him onto the floor. GOOD MOVE, Hardcore, take every advantage you can. Brock's not even taken the title belt off yet! Holly's hammering away at him… for about 10 seconds before Lesnar tries to F5 him into the ring post. Holly counters and rams Brock shoulder first into the post a couple of times. Then the bell rings. Match on!

 

Holly tries a top rope move, and misses. So Brock stomps the shit out of him and hits a suplex, laying yet another foundation stone in the perimeter walls of Suplex City. Hardcore's stomped outside and Lesnar continues the beatdown a bit, then rolls him in for 2. Waistlock type bearhug sort of thing locked in.

 

Michael Cole's telling the story of this match really well.

 

Brian Hebner's trainers are awful. I did like the blue SmackDown ref uniforms though.

 

Lesnar picks Hardcore up over his head, hooking the leg, wanders around a bit and drops him down. HANG ON, HANG ON, THAT'S THE SHELLSHOCK! RYBACK STOLE IT! HE STOLE IT FROM BROCK! Brock did it better as well.

 

Waistlock thing locked back in. I don't think Bob's got much chance here. At least give him a dropkick, Brock.

 

Bob gets out of it, runs the ropes, and FUCK! WHOO! Belly to belly! And that was one hell of a belly to belly. Lesnar's got another wearing-down type of submission in now. Holly breaks out one more time. He's got heart apparently, but that's not going to do any good. He got the dropkick! Alabama Slam! He hit it! People are surprised! He … doesn't go for the pin and decides to lock in a full nelson instead! Because he's an idiot!

 

But as full nelsons go, he's really going for it, absolutely refusing to let go even when they both go down and roll out of the ring. He foolishly breaks the hold, however, and when he tries for it again Lesnar's ready for him. Holly tries a third time, Lesnar counters, F5 connects, 1, 2, 3, easy.

 

To nobody's surprise, Brock remains Champion. At least you tried, Bob.

 

 

My thoughts:

 

You know, that could never have been 'redemption after return from injury' because there's simply no way Brock wasn't winning, but on the other hand, it wasn't a bad little showcase for Lesnar. Holly looked - well, nothing like a genuine title contender, but he looked good - and Lesnar showed how much of a badass he is at anything you throw at him. Brawling? Check. Grappling? Check. Submissions? Check. And all it takes is one moment, and he turns all your momentum around, and you're done for. He's a pleasure to watch. Yeah, I liked that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

He was obsessed with breaking Lesnar's neck in retaliation.

 

I hated the Hardcore main event push, stretched out as it was between Survivors and the Rumble due to Armageddon being a Raw PPV. They did every trick they could manage ; Bob coming out to attack Brock in his street clothes, him getting suspended because Ooooooh, he's such a badass, chumming up with the ACTUALLY popular babyfaces like Angle, Benoit and Rey Rey, letting him beat Big Show on TV (because they like to occasionally pretend Big Show matters when it suits them)...... none of it washed. Not with the crowd in attendance at the Rumble and not with me. I found it an insult to my intelligence that they thought we should accept such a long-term loser as a viable title contender. I stomached it because the Mania corridor was about to start and thus I knew it would be a short-term annoyance to endure.

 

Then JBL happened. Ugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...