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Fashion Faux Pas


John Matrix

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Right, it's UKFF folklore that for the vast majority of my life, i've dressed like shit, but you're not telling me that the rest of you havent gotten a few shockers captured on film for all of eternity, so i'm offering you an amnesty. 

 

Post them here and set yourselves free!  I'd love to promise you wont be judged, mocked or heckled...but i suspect that wont be the case.

 

The 'oversized' suit..

 

 

 

No justification for this, other than the suit was on sale in Topman for about £35 and I thought ah, balls to it...baggy's fashionable ennit.  In it's defence, it was actually a very nice suit, and would have looked smashing had the fella on the right had it on.

 

The 'actually i've no bloody clue what the hell is going on here'...

 

 

 

So for the record, thats pinstripe trousers, a cardigan and a pink, girls trucker cap.  I genuinely have no recollection of this being taken, and cant offer any justification for why i'd be wearing such a ridiculous get up in the first place!

 

and finally, even when I manage to dress somewhat respectibly, I still manage to balls it up by sporting a monstrous hair cut, none more questionable than this one i reckon.. have to applaud Forrest for keeping a straight face.

 

 

 

Now dont hang me out to dry on this.  Remember, sharing is caring!

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I don't know if this counts as a fashion faux par, because I don't think this was ever in fashion. At the time, however, I thought that this outfit - an 80s style oversized jacket that a game show host might wear, a turquoise shirt/sweater hybrid, topped off with a bandana and carrying a golf club like a cane - looked fantastic.

 

golfclub-era-woodx-web_zpsajmsgrsl.jpg

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I do look abnormally tall there, but I think it's because those are two armchairs and not a sofa and I'm sat on the arms.

 

Back in those days I was really gangly, so 9 inches was the size of both my biceps combined. Fortunately I had a massive cock to compensate.

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That suit is a 0.9 on the Cena scale!

 

John+Cena+Suits+Men+s+Suit+9q6jxr1Ujw_l.

 

I can't find a photo but when Roman Reigns was doing his Wrestlemania 31 appearances, he was wearing a suit that looked like it was made for Andre The Giant. He looked like a boss in the all black suit at the Slammy Awards, but looked like a kid in his dads suit for his Mania media gigs.

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