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Worst matches ever


PowerButchi

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Ashley Massaro vs <insert opponent here>

 

I'm trying to find the one where Jillian Hall whips her into the ropes, and instead she runs in an arc and throws herself into the corner.

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All these years later I still find myself singing "You better hold on tight. Cause I'm gonna love you nice. I'm gonna do it right. Let me light a fire in you tonight" under my breath. Wasted some good music on Ashley Massaro.

 

She was the drizzles in the ring. Everyone thought she was really hot too and I just didn't find myself attracted to her. I mean, I obviously still would have, but I get the impression I'd have wanted to scrub myself with bleach afterwards. Just a feeling.

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Waits for the abuse!

 

Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior - wrestlemania

 

Watched this back the other week and it bored me to tears, neither can wrestle.

 

 

Also Samoa Joe vs Kenta Kobashi ROH

 

Take the chops out of this match and it would be a 2 min match.

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All these years later I still find myself singing "You better hold on tight. Cause I'm gonna love you nice. I'm gonna do it right. Let me light a fire in you tonight" under my breath. Wasted some good music on Ashley Massaro.

She was the drizzles in the ring. Everyone thought she was really hot too and I just didn't find myself attracted to her. I mean, I obviously still would have, but I get the impression I'd have wanted to scrub myself with bleach afterwards. Just a feeling.
You weren't alone Raid. The pseudo "i'm wearing tartan, I'm soooo punk rock!" Look didn't help her case
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Waits for the abuse!

 

Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior - wrestlemania

 

Watched this back the other week and it bored me to tears, neither can wrestle.

Define what it is to wrestle. You can say that neither Hogan or Andre could wrestle, yet that is argue ably their most successful match.

Wrestling is not just about performing a bunch of fancy flips and the sort, it's getting a reaction out of the audience by doing the little things and show casing a personality, both of which Hogan & Warrior had in droves.

People, myself included at times, are critical of Cena's so called wrestling ability, yet he gets a reaction every time he's on screen. Jerry Lawler just needs to pull his shoulder strap and the crowd went batshit. Steve Austin in the biggest period in the history of the industry rarely strayed away from punch-kick affairs.

 

John Morrison can wrestle, he's a very good talent, but without the personality and the ability to draw an audience in emotionally, you could hear a bug fart when he would come out.

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See, if you'd have gone for Hogan/Warrior in WCW, where they screwed up the International and Hogan ballsed up a fireball spot, you might have had a case. Hogan/Warrior at Wrestlemania 6 is fine, and both can obviously wrestle considering they both had good matches at Wrestlemanias 5 and 7 too. Sure, they were in there with the likes of Rude and Savage, but it takes two to make a decent match.

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Great Khali vs Giant Silva from Japan. This isn't the whole thing but has some beautifully bad spots and has been my favourite stinker for a while now.

 

http://youtu.be/WhjWr9nFvK8

I like the very noticeable sound of a guy pissing himself laughing after that spear at 3:50

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RIP and all that but Giant Gonzalez/El Gigante vs anyone. For the purposes of the thread I'll pick the Undertaker matches from 1993. They were his most well known matches. And they were fucking rotten.

 

When I first saw him I was amazed at the size of him and thought he was going to be some unbeatable video game monster come to life. Then I saw him have a match and the mystery was over. He was terrible. His offence looked piss weak, although I remember Dustin Rhodes saying in a shoot interview that his chops were brutal so maybe he had to go super light on his strikes so he wouldn't, you know, kill someone. And the one thing he had going for him - his look - they (both WCW and WWF) ruined by sticking him in goofy outfits the Village People wouldn't have been seen dead in.

 

I know giants are a different thing and it's not really about match quality. Andre didn't exactly set the world alight in the ring either. But at least Andre had a real presence and aura about him. And he wasn't wearing a big stupid onesie with fake muscles and pubes attached to it. I used to actually be scared when I'd see Andre attacking my favourites like Warrior or Savage. Everything Gonzalez did looked crap. Even Savage couldn't drag anything decent out of him when he was bouncing around for him in 93.

 

I'm sure he was a lovely bloke and I don't begrudge him making money. But there's no getting away from it, he was the shits as a wrestler.

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