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A Summerslam match a day


HarmonicGenerator

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It's another double tonight, so straight on to Summerslam 2004, which marked a period of downturn for Summerslam as far as I was concerned - it didn't particularly pique my interest from here until probably 2010, where it started to get some of its aura back and to become must-see level again, at least so far as main events were concerned.

 

Anyway, because I haven't watched a tag match since 1993, and because I liked the London/Kidman team, and because it's got all three Dudleys, I'm watching The Dudley Boyz vs. Paul London, Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio.

 

 

The match:

 

Cole just mentioned summertime blues on commentary. This isn't the year they used Rush's cover of that song as the theme tune, is it?

 

Dudley time! No pyro, but we've got 'The Boss' Spike Dudley, Cruiserweight Champion, who recently turned on Rey Mysterio to join forces with Bubba Ray and D-Von. I loved the Dudleys as a trio. WHERE'S THEIR NOSTALGIA RUN, WWE? I WANT IT.

 

Seriously, Dudleys vs. PTP, New Day, Lucha Dragons, Enzo & Cass, the Wyatts, Ascension, Ambrose and Reigns… MAKE IT HAPPEN. Don't let that Bubba Rumble appearance be for nothing!

 

Who's' that jumpin' out the sky? R-E-Y Mysteri-O, here we go. I've not heard this Mysterio music for aaaages, it's weird to hear it again after so many years of Booyaka Booyaka 6-1-9. London and Kidman, SmackDown tag champions, come out with him, 'cause they don't get their own music. I really liked London and Kidman in part because they wore matching gear, because to be honest, that's a big factor for me in a tag team.

 

D-Von and Kidman start off, London tags in and Kidman helps him flip into a standing moonsault on D-Von. Nice. Mushroom Stomp and then a Dropsault. Very nice. Bubba pulls him down by the hair. Different kind of nice. I thought Paul London was brilliant during this time, it's a shame more didn't come from him in singles, but at least he got a couple of memorable tag runs.

 

Spike's in now, double stomp to London, and shortly afterwards, Bubba is tagged in, talking trash to London (he's great at that) - "I'll beat your face in" and so on. I discovered last week that a mate of mine knows Paul London, which is weird.

 

D-Von in again now, and London's grounded in a chinlock. It's not 'vintage Dudley Boyz' though, is it, Michael Cole? Is it? IS IT?

 

Kidman breaks up the pin, and I don't think Cole and Tazz have stopped talking since last year's Summerslam. Seriously guys, take a breath for ten seconds or so.

 

London starts to get momentum but D-Von cuts him off, luckily he gets an enziguiri on Bubba, and Rey is the only one of the six who hasn't been tagged in yet. Spike's tagged back in, and here comes Mysterio! Revenge time! Flapjack to Spike, and a Dropping the Dime gets a 2 count. Rey's got his light blue stuff on, whereas the Dudleys have gone for a black and yellow combat combo.

 

Frankensteiner to Spike, and early WWE Rey was so great. He's a shoo-in for Hall of Fame someday, right? One of their most popular guys for about a decade. Kidman tagged in and hits a top rope elbow takedown to Spike, back body drop for D-Von, BK Bomb for Spike but Bubba breaks it up. It's gone mad in there, everybody's in the ring, people are falling out of the ring, I sense a dive….. YEEEEEES, London uses Kidman as a springboard and hits a flip dive on Bubba, Kidman and Mysterio hit a double team, Kidman sets Spike up for Rey's 619, Kidman hits the Shooting Star Press - it looked messy, on the replay it looked like a standard Kidman SSP but when you've seen the Red Arrow, it's not really very impressive in comparison - but D-Von breaks it up and pulls Kidman out of the ring. Rey dives for him but misses, London best smacked, and the Big Dudleys have taken him out. 3-D to Kidman and they get Spike to get the pin. WINNERS.

 

Spike is thrilled. I like this combination of the Dudleys. Mysterio's revenge must wait for another day.

 

My thoughts:

 

I liked that. I liked it a lot. When you get right down to it, it's just a standard six man tag match, but it was a really well executed standard six man tag match. It helps when you like all six guys in there, but even without that, this had a story, it told that story, and it told it well, with plenty of action, plenty of heelish action, nearfalls and comebacks, and as an opener, was great for getting the crowd woken up. I'd recommend watching this again if you've forgotten it, a really nice little match.

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Summerslam 2005 time, and by the default process of deciding not to watch Hogan vs. Michaels, I'm going for a piece of 21st century Wrestlecrap: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in the 'winner gets custody of Dominick' Ladder Match.

 

I select this match fully aware that it will be the fourth Summerslam in a row where I'll have to listen to the Cole/Tazz duo.

 

 

The match:

 

Before I start, what I remember of this match was that it was the culmination of a feud that started when Eddie and Rey were Tag Team Champions. Chavo got in their heads, or something, and they had a match at WrestleMania, that soon turned into a feud, which got pretty heated and had an amazing moment where Eddie did an intense promo while holding the mask he'd ripped off Rey's head (I also remember him beating the crap out of Jimmy Jacobs one week), only for the rivalry to become absolutely ridiculous when they went with the angle of Eddie actually being the father of Rey's son Dominick. And here we are.

 

We're getting a pre-match video, so we'll see how much of this is right.

 

- At the Great American Bash, Eddie and Rey have a match, but Eddie has a secret. Dominick is at ringside looking gormless. Eddie wants to tell him a bedtime story. But Rey wins! He and Dominick celebrate! So Eddie won't reveal his secret.

- But Eddie LIED.

- Rey is not Dominick's father, Eddie is!

- "Is it true, dad? Is it really true?" begs Dominick. Rey holds his head in his hands and Dominick runs away into a crowd of thousands of strangers. Neither man's a great dad, really.

- Eddie has custody papers which mean Rey has to hand him over. Because that means Eddie is the better man at wrestling.

- Rey doesn't seek legal advice, but goes through with it.

- Eddie's addiction comes into it now. No way's a court giving him custody.

- Rey fucks up Dominick's new family dynamic by making Eddie angry, saying that he's never beaten Rey.

- So they're going to have a match for the custody of Dominick. Why didn't they get Jerry Springer in for this?

- DRAMATIC MUSIC. DRAMATIC.

- I'm all for having more stories in wrestling, but... This is awful.

- Seriously, it's awful.

- Eddie's death buried this storyline from history, right?

- Because they could bring him in right now as Dominick Guerrero.

- That wouldn't be in bad taste at all.

- It's just a really awful premise.

- Did Dominick get grief at school because of this?

- Also, amazing how quickly Rey forgot about all this. Not six months later he was winning Royal Rumbles for Eddie.

- I know that's a stupid blurring of storyline and reality, but it goes to show you shouldn't do story lines this silly. Same thing happened in 2007 when they were doing Super Serious Vince Is Dead stuff and then Sherri Martel actually died and they didn't quite know how to handle it on TV because of the storyline. This is different, but anyway.

 

Michael Cole and Tazz are using their Serious Voices. Fuck's sake.

 

(I should point out I'm not in the best of moods tonight so I may not be kind to this match.)

 

Yeah, so just to recap, Eddie has revealed he fathered and abandoned Dominick eight years ago, but now wants him back because he wants to ruin Rey's family, because Rey keeps beating him at wrestling. Eurgh.

 

Dominick's at ringside, and Eddie's blowing him kisses, and this means we're going to keep cutting back to him, and he's an annoying looking kid.

 

WHO'S THAT JUMPING OUT THE SKY? Rey does his trapdoor pyro leap entrance thing which I always liked, and follows it up with a Serious Walk To The Ring, and the two don't quite mesh.

 

Cole has two adopted sons? Didn't know that.

 

We've had loads of cuts to Dominick already. Eurgh.

 

Like every five seconds. Matilda didn't get anywhere near this many moments on camera.

 

If these two were fighting for a dog, that I could and would buy. Let's do that storyline please, WWE.

 

So they're wrestling now, Eddie's going for it, on the outside of the ring he runs Rey into the steps and then runs holding Mysterio by the head and throws him into a ladder.

 

Stat time: over their careers, it currently stands at Rey 6, Eddie 0.

 

Eddie has set the ladder up and is climbing it towards the briefcase which contains the custody documents, but Rey hits a springboard dropkick, knocking Eddie off the ladder.

 

Imagine if more custody battles ended up as Ladder Matches? No, actually, don't.

 

Baseball slide by Mysterio into a ladder, into Eddie! He took that RIGHT on the chin. Rey then springboards and hits the seated senton over the ladder Eddie's holding and into Eddie's face! Nice!

 

It'd be nicer if we didn't have to see Dominick's reaction after every single move, though. His expression hasn't changed or anything.

 

(On the positive side, Cole and Tazz have learned how to stop talking for moments at a time.)

 

They're both on the ladder now, Eddie does a somersault over the top of the ladder (which is a dangerous and presumably pretty scary thing to do) to hit a sunset flip powerbomb, but he doesn't quite get it and Rey falls down a couple of seconds later. Still looked like it hurt, though. Eddie is now in charge, hitting Rey in the face with one ladder and bringing a second into the ring. Dropkick into the ladder into Rey into the turnbuckle (there must be an easier way of saying that) STOP SHOWING DOMINICK'S FACE I DON'T CARE.

 

Rey's now lying on a ladder, and Eddie makes a Mysterio Sandwich so he can hit his somersault elbow! I thought Tazz was going to make the point that as much as that move hurt Mysterio, it will have hurt Eddie too, but no, he mentions fucking Dominick instead. ARGH.

 

Eddie's about to climb, but Rey recovers, and sets up the second ladder at an angle so he can climb up it and get to Eddie. Here comes something…. OH!

 

OH!

 

OH!

 

OH!

 

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!

 

AAAAAAAAAAAA that was nasty. Mysterio back body drops Guerrero over the vertical ladder onto the ladder-at-an-angle, Eddie lands hard which makes both ladders fall down, and the middle of Mysterio's back lands right on part of it, that looked very painful! OH!

 

Rey's now been tipped off a ladder and chucked ribs first into a ladder wedged into the turnbuckle (via the Tori Suplex, or Alleyoop, or whatever that move's actually called outside of SmackDown games). BUT THEY KEEP TALKING ABOUT DOMINICK EVEN THOUGH THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD MATCH.

 

I take that back. Dominick's ruined it totally by getting in the ring and trying to push Eddie off the ladder, but he's a fucking weakling so he can't do it. Eddie climbs down despite the fact he's totally unopposed and could have easily won and then thrashed Dominick afterwards, but instead he shouts at Dominick for about eight hours until Rey comes to attack him again, making Dominick's run-in pointless as well as shit.

 

Eddie gets a drop toe hold into a ladder leaning against the ropes, and 619 into the Ladder! Great move, so we cut to Dominick, then back to the ring where Rey Drops the Dime onto a ladder with Eddie underneath it. Cut to Dominick.

 

I'd do Dominick Updates in the style of Matilda, but honestly, Matilda showed more emotion.

 

Rey's got hold of the briefcase now, but Eddie gets up and has Rey on his shoulders, now that is dangerous, but Rey reverses it into a powerbomb - again, I have to wonder how scary they must find these sorts of moves, and you've got to have a huge amount of trust in the other guy to agree to do them.

 

Rey's climbing, and he has to start unhooking the briefcase but doesn't because Eddie removes the ladder and leaves Mysterio hanging, and Rey gets a poweromb of his own. Eddie now puts the ladder in the middle of the ring, pinning Mysterio under it, and climbs. Unfortunately for him, he feels the need to taunt Rey on the way up, which gives Rey just enough time to start shaking the ladder as he tries to grab the briefcase. Eddie's now hanging and Rey just pulls him down leg first into another quite nasty looking landing. Both men now down.

 

Cut to Dominick.

 

It's quite hard to hear the commentary talking about how Eddie has no heart, and how he's got a black heart, and generally saying disparaging things about his heart.

 

Meanwhile, Mysterio got suplexed onto a ladder, and Eddie starts climbing and here comes Vickie Guerrero! This is back when she was rubbish. She's holding the ladder… but only so she can push her husband off it!

 

She's still a better actor than Dominick, though, whose gormless face hasn't changed the entire bloody match. Bring back Matilda.

 

Current acts in WWE who'd benefit from a doggy friend:

- All of them.

 

Rey's got some kind of existential anguish face going on at the moment, he climbs, Vickie stops Eddie from going after him by clambering on his back, and Rey wins the match and custody of his son, who can apparently do 'happy' as well as whatever he was going for the rest of the time. Rey's wife is now coming down as well, so does this mean Eddie was sleeping with Mrs Mysterio while they were feuding in WCW in 1997?

 

Eddie's now 0 for 7 against Mysterio, as Rey wallops him in the head with the briefcase, and you'd think the feud would continue because why would Eddie give up if all this was ultimately so he could beat Mysterio, but I don't think it did, and Eddie moved onto whatever he did between here and November 13th.

 

"And watch the reaction of Dominick," Cole implores us. Don't. He's got a forced grin on his face and claps three times. That's it. Bleh.

 

My thoughts:

 

An excellent Ladder Match ruined by a rubbish storyline. I know I didn't approach the storyline objectively, but it was utter guff, it really was. Great match, though. If you could edit out the constant cuts to Dominick (who for all I know has developed into an excellent performer, he was only 8 but that's no excuse because he shouldn't have been on-screen in the first place) you'd end up with an easily rewatchable, heated feud-ender. Worth having another look at if you haven't seen it in a while.

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Wow I totally forgot about that Eddie/Rey storyline. 04 Smackdown was my era tbh, was when I first got to start watching non-Rumble or Mania PPVs. 04 Smackdown was a pretty bad show, but so many fond memories. Only got to watch Raw stuff on Heat cos I didn't have Sky Sports so Smackdown was my show for a good while, the key memories being JBL's push - didn't seem as shit to me at the time though they really should have built him up by fighting and battering Farooq first before going on to the title but I didnt care, the debut of Mordecai (don't know why, it just interested me), return of Deadman Taker in some pretty poor but aesthetically cool matches \m/. Was a huge Paul London mark too for some reason, he was my token "why is he only on the small shows?" guy. Think a lot of his matches do hold up though, he bumps like a trooper

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I'd never thought of that aspect, but you're quite right.

 

For Summerslam 2006, it's another main event: Edge vs. John Cena.

 

That thread from a little while ago that talked about who 'made' John Cena… I don't remember if I posted in it or not, but I'd have probably argued for Edge as a major player in that process. If not 'made', exactly, I'd certainly rank the Edge/Cena feud as one of the definitive ones for each man, and I'd definitely consider each of them a 'career' opponent for the other. With that said, I'm looking forward to watching this match - they always brought the best out in each other, and I'd say maybe only CM Punk and Brock Lesnar have a better claim than Edge to say that as far as Cena goes… maybe. I'm an Edge guy.

 

 

The match:

 

This match is for the Spinny WWE Championship. Cena the challenger, Edge the champion, JR and Lawler on commentary for the first time in this project since the year 2000.

 

Cena seems pretty popular here. This was only a couple of months after One Night Stand with RVD, wasn't it?

 

Edge comes out with the full smoky entrance, the Metaligus music, and Lita (who's the Women's Champion… I wish they'd call the Divas title that again) by his side. If Edge gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

 

JR is comparing each man's win-loss records at Summerslam, which does a pretty good job of making this match feel like a huge deal. Both men want to be the champion, and by beating the other, becoming the best. Simple as.

 

Hang on, no it's not, that whole thing with Cena's dad getting beaten up may have happened prior to this match as well, I'm not sure.

 

Forget that thing about Cena being popular, he's got one series of punches in and they're already booing and chanting that he sucks. Oh well. He's getting it all in the early going, including a near fall off a belly to belly slam thing, but a shoulder charge allows Edge to dive out of the way and John goes tumbling to the outside. Edge will retain if there's a countout but Cena gets in after 8, straight into Edge's foot.

 

Lita's top is spectacularly low cut.

 

Also, hell of a lot of those horrible 2006 DX t-shirts in the audience.

 

Cena's out of the ring again, and this time the ref gets to 9 before he rolls back in. Edge has got the right idea here, don't know what Cena's playing at though. Heel kick by Edge gets a 2.

 

What's quite obvious, and I'm going to sound very stupid by saying this, as Edge and Cena exchange punches, is the number of photographers gathered around ringside. Maybe it's the Summerslam t-shirts with the green logo they're wearing that makes them stand out more than usual, but they're really quite noticeable. They do still have those guys on shows, don't they? Do they just blend in? Do I just not notice them anymore? Or are they a thing of the past? I'm going to have to watch out next time I see a 2015 show.

 

Edge now firmly in control, taking Cena down again and again. Popular opinion is that Edge was never a true main eventer, but I'd have to disagree, he looks every inch like a top guy here. Maybe he wouldn't have got that in an era with a more crowded top-line, but you could argue the same for several other bona fides.

 

Anyway, he's got Cena in a chinlock but Cena's broken it and is gaining momentum only to get booted in the face. Edge goes up top, Cena meets him there, tries for a superplex but goes flailing off onto the mat and Edge launches himself with a top rope clothesline. I like the way he rolled on impact there.

 

Cena doesn't win this, does he? Edge has definitely looked the better man here. And not just because he's been in control the entire time.

 

"And now Edge thinks he's the Iron Sheik!" cries JR. Because Edge has John Cena in the Camel Clutch! Why? So Cena can use his freakish strength to power out of it and slam Edge down with what I'll call a Dromedary Wheelbarrow Slam, because I'm terrible at naming moves and shouldn't be allowed to.

 

(I'm not mentioning the split crowd reaction to Cena, by the way, because it's to be expected and doesn't add anything to this particular match).

 

Cena is now fighting back, hitting his flippy cutter thing. Lita goes to get a chair but accidentally distracts Edge instead of Cena, allowing Cena to hit several clotheslines, his powerbomby thing, and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the Still Called The FU, but Edge counters and hits what JR calls the Impaler but which I thought had been renamed to the Edgecution, or certainly it was during his 2002-3 run (which, regarding the main eventing talk, I'm sure was going to end up with Edge on top of SmackDown in 2003 if he hadn't been injured).

 

Back to the match, some rolling out allows John to power Edge up onto his shoulders from the ground, Edge accidentally knocks Lita off the apron - they don't seem on the same page tonight - and a double clothesline knocks them both out. If the ref gets to 10 here, I assume Edge wouldn't lose the title because he didn't technically win it. (Not that it matters because they got up, so that's fine).

 

Edge is now signalling for the Spear, but John counters into a drop toehold into the Still Called The STFU. Lita now has the WWE Title and is trying to distract Cena, but if Edge gets DQ'ed, Cena wins the title. Edge reaches the ropes and Lita veeeeery sneakily puts brass knuckles on his hand!

 

Cena has Edge up for the FU, Lita jumps on top of Edge who's on Cena's shoulders, and Cena hits it on Lita, but somehow not on Edge! That was clever, and I'm surprised Lita's boobs didn't pop out of that top on impact. Edge clouts Cena in the back of the head with the brass knuckles and he gets the 3-count. "Sonofabitch!" shouts JR, as we cut to three young fans hanging their heads in despondency.

 

Edge is pleased. Cena doesn't know what hit him, literally and figuratively. Lawler gets in a shoehorned reference to 'the biggest part of the summer', and that's the end of the show!

 

My thoughts:

 

Shorter than I'd have thought, but a good match nonetheless. It wasn't the best match I've seen those two have, but it was fine, and it felt like a main event. What maybe surprised me most was how dominant Edge was through virtually the whole match, Cena didn't actually look all that great here. The Edge feud may have been crucial to his route up to being the very best, but I don't know if he had become the very best by this time - he was still on his way. Great showing by Edge, anyway, and I quite fancy sticking on their TLC match from the following month now!

 

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I remember the Eddie/Batista thing but don't remember that Cage match with Rey at all. Cheers Liam.

 

 

it's 2007 already! And I've realised that it's twenty odd matches in and I haven't done a women's match yet, so for this Summerslam I'll be watching the Divas Battle Royal. 'Divas Revolution' and all that.

 

 

The match:

 

This battle royal features 12 ladies, not one of whom is still with WWE. Layla was the last, but she's retired now.

 

So, before I start, I'm going to rank the 12 of them based on how interested I am in seeing them again. This will determine the order in which I want them eliminated.

 

12. Kristal. I never liked her. She looked dangerously thin, like she'd snap if you hit any kind of move on her, and never did a thing of worth. When the closest thing to 'memorable' you can do is marry Theodore Long, it's not a good sign.

 

11. Jillian Hall. Because she was built up on the net as being this women's super worker, but the first time that comes to mind is this:

 

 

10. Michelle McCool. This is pre-LayCool which is when she was at her best.

 

9. Layla. As above.

 

8. Maria. She was never really meant to have matches, was she? I'd like to see her back as a manager, Rusev should sack off Summer Rae and get Maria in to help him out against Lana.

 

7. Melina. Meh.

 

6. Mickie James. As above.

 

5. Kelly Kelly. I don't recall her being that bad, so I'd like to be pleasantly surprised.

 

4. Brooke. I'm fairly interested in her because she's supposed to have improved no end during her time in TNA, and yet I still can't remember off the top of my head what she looks like.

 

3. Victoria. I don't remember exactly what she was doing by 2007 - was she in that little trio with Torrie and Candice at this point, or did that come before/after? - but I liked her 2002 run, and her partnership with Stevie Night Heat, so I'm happy to watch her in action again.

 

2. Beth Phoenix. My interest drifted in and out during her run but there were plenty of times I was a fan. One of my favourite bits of Beth was actually in OVW back in '05 when she and Ariel from ECW used to accompany Damien Sandow to the ring when he played a ladies' man and came out to 'Brick House'. There's a gimmick I'd like to see them try again. Sandow as a ladies man, with… let's say Cameron and whichever other one's not involved in the Divas Revolution at the moment.

 

1. Torrie Wilson. I'm surprised she was still around as late as 2007, but she's top of the list for me because I haven't thought about her in a while, but back in 2001 when she and Stacy first came in, they - and Torrie in particular - awakened things in young me. There was one Raw magazine centrefold in particular that blew my teenage mind. 

 

Sadly, the front cover had RVD on it.

 

$T2eC16V,!zcE9s4g3Mo4BR6rHy3hNQ~~60_35.J

 

But yes, if Raw magazine had Torrie or Stacy anywhere on its cover, I was buying that. It's very anti-Divas-Revolution to say, but if we're judging the women of WWE on looks, Torrie and Stacy would always be my top 2.

 

$_35.JPG

 

:love:

 

Why was I doing that again? Oh, right, there's a battle royal to watch. Best get onto that. Torrie to win!

 

Okay, so the winner gets a shot at the Women's Title, which is currently held by Candice Michelle. She comes out to utterly terrible music, onto what is quite a cool set with flaming torches and palm trees. Looks summery, anyway. I'm quite disappointed Candice isn't competing here, she's one of those ladies who had a marked improvement in the ring.

 

This is also inter-promotional. Maria, Beth, Melina, Jillian and Mickie are Raw. Torrie, Victoria, Kristal and Michelle are SmackDown. Extreme Expose are ECW's representatives. So that's what Brooke looks like, I remember her now. You only have to be thrown out of the ring to be eliminated.

 

Torrie got the biggest reaction when they all came out (no individual entrances, just by brand), further proving she should win this.

 

JR and Lawler on commentary. They're less audible than the various noises of exertion coming from the ring as everybody grapples and throws each other about. Beth makes the first impact, body slamming Brooke out over the top rope. Bye Brooke.

 

Maria just fell into the splits. Ouch. Jillian tries to eliminate her, fails the first time, but tries again and does it. Lawler's just reminded me that after the mole she had a 'bad singing' gimmick. Wow, she really had no luck, did she?

 

Oh! Layla's just been eliminated and I didn't even see it. She had a good run. Not in this match, obviously, but in WWE in general. Nearly a decade, I think? Considering the turnover the women's division can have, that's not bad going at all.

 

Jillian almost eliminated Mickie. Lots of these girls are blonde. It's, shameful as it is to admit it, hard to tell them apart when it goes to the hard cam. Victoria's been eliminated, not having done much, and Kristal's gone as well. Not as thin as I remember, actually.

 

Oh, hang on, who was that really thin one from the Divas season of NXT? I'm going to have to check that, because I've totally got her confused with Kristal. I think she did a bit of interviewing as well.

 

Torrie just eliminated Jillian! COME ON TORRIE! As the longest-serving lady in the match, that title should be yours!

 

Melina (who I'd already forgotten was in this) just eliminated Mickie, and we're down to four. Melina, Torrie, Michelle and Beth. I like battle royals. When did Kelly get eliminated?

 

Melina's gone. Candice, who's sitting on an uncomfortable looking chair directly in front of JR and Lawler's line of sight, is happy about that.

 

NO! NO. NOOOOO. Beth just eliminated Torrie! My support now transfers to Phoenix, which is a good move because she just chucked McCool out as well and won the match!

 

I like Beth. Beth was good. How long's she been gone for? It seems like it's been a while, but I'm not sure if it's really been all that long.

 

Whoever that really skinny Diva was who I've got confused with Kristal, she wasn't on the Divas season of NXT, and she's not on the WWE.com Alumni page, so either she's so obscure they haven't bothered to put her on, or I made her up. I think she did a bit of backstage interviewing and/or ring announcing. Any ideas, anyone?

 

My thoughts:

 

Standard women's battle royal, really. Would have liked to have seen a bit more from a few of them, but Beth looked strong in victory, so job done in setting up her vs. Candice for the title. 

 

Torrie should have won, though. If only they'd had self-service checkouts in the early 2000s so I didn't have to go to the counter to buy magazines like this...

 

mGb3dCn-Mg_xoqV21ErnVJA.jpg

 

:love:

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Reading that review made me sad that Layla and Maria were never booked to rip each others' clothes off and make mad passionate love to each other, somehow disguised as a wrestling match.

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Speaking of Maria, she's the focal point of the poster for Summerslam 2008, jet skiing away from an explosion of some sort. For this show, I've taken the recommendations of people in this thread and am watching the main event, The Undertaker vs. Edge in a Hell In A Cell match!

 

I've never seen this match before, but it's got two of my favourites in it, so I'm looking forward to it. There looks to be a lengthy pre-match video too which should give me all the backstory I need to fill in the gaps between WrestleMania XXIV (for which I watched Undertaker vs. Edge for 'A Mania match a day') and now.

 

 

The match:

 

The cell slowly lowers around the ring, 'awaiting its next two victims', explains JR. He feels very old-school describing it, but it works - it's not hyperbolic but it really sells the thing.

 

Okay, backstory:

 

 - Edge and Vickie Guerrero are married.

 - But he snogged someone else. Looked to be Kristal. Or maybe that thin one whose name I still don't remember. 

 - Vickie gets the 'hell hath no fury' line slightly wrong, but the point is she's reinstated the Undertaker, who must have been gone for a bit.

 - She makes the HIAC match.

 - Cut to lots of scary Cell images (including one of Brock!) as Vickie cackles.

 - Edge calls for the help of Mick Foley, who does commentary for SmackDown at this point.

 - Cut to many images of Mick being thrown off and through the Cell.

 - 'I know that your body has felt that match, every second...'

 - 'I can't help you', says Mick, 'but I know the one person who can. Edge!… or the Undertaker will tear you apart!'

 - Edge attacks Mick and tells Taker to strike him down!

 - Edge turns on his mate Chavo and tips Vickie out of her wheelchair.

 - Vickie's in a wheelchair, as well.

 - Edge has turned utterly vicious. 'I'm going to take the Undertaker down to hell with me!'

 

That's exactly the video I needed to prove that Edge stands a chance against Taker in this environment. I'm excited. If this reaches its full potential, it could be near the quality of the Shawn Michaels/Taker Cell match.

 

Edge makes his way to the ring. BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM! Fireworks. Tazz is on commentary with JR, and says Edge has been 'unapproachable' lately. He's staring down the Cell, and the commentators are trying to explain his expression - I'd call it 'scared, with a hint of "fuck it, let's do this"'.

 

This feels like a big time match.

 

'Edge has not come here to compete. He's come here to win.' says JR. You'd hope so. Sort of pointless if you don't try to win, isn't it?

 

GONG. Edge's expression instantly changes to 'fear, with a major helping of "ohshitohshitohshit"'.

 

The lights are out, the fires are rising from the arena. Edge is now cowering in the corner. I don't fucking blame him, BECAUSE HERE COMES THE UNDERTAKER. I think I said in my 2000 review I liked the Bikertaker entrance almost as much as the Deadman one. I'm a total liar, because the two are incomparable. Not to sound like one of the worst chants ever, but this is wrestling.

 

JR says there have only been 15 Hell In A Cell matches at this point. Undertaker's been in 8, this is Edge's first. Oh for the days of being able to count the number of Cell matches on your fingers and toes. Edge looks to have got his courage back, which is just as well because as Taker slams the door shut, he looks ANGRY.

 

Undertaker lost a TLC match at One Night Stand, and has been 'in exile', which is why he got reinstated in the video, I guess.

 

Tazz has actually got better on commentary since I last heard him in the 2005 review.

 

Edge comes at Taker in the early going, but got a boot to the face for his trouble. Oof. He then gets thrown over the top. This is the 'classic' Cell, isn't it? They made it bigger, right? When did that happen?

 

Edge is being thrown into it multiple times, and now gets a series of headbutts. Cheesegrater with the head! I don't know what you call that thing where you rub their head against the mesh but I call it the Cheesegrater. And now Edge has been thrown into the ring steps. 

 

As Taker hits his apron dropkick, we get a shot of Vickie watching the match backstage, with Chavo, Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, and Bam 'fucking hell, was he still around by Summerslam?' Neely, whose name I sadly do remember.

 

Why do I get the feeling they'll be playing a part in the outcome of this?

 

Snake Eyes into the steps, which were set up in the corner! But Edge seems to have stopped himself getting the full impact and he throws Taker into them, then a dropkick with Taker's head smacking against the steps, then a nice Spear variation into a seated Undertaker! Edge is in control, and he brings out a table, then hits Taker with the steps one more time. This is the first Summerslam for around a decade, if not more, to be rated PG, so I'm not expecting blood, as I imagine if it was coming, it'd have come then.

 

As Taker gets back to his feet, Edge gets a second table and sets it up on top of the first one. He tries to suplex Undertaker out of the ring onto it, but can't, Taker tries to chokeslam Edge through the tables, but can't, so Edge goes and gets a chair and whacks Taker with it instead.

 

Another table now set up in the ring, and the crowd on one side make a lot of noise. We find out why - Edge has found a ladder! It's like TLC in the Cell! Edge swings a chair into Taker's face and then tries to set him up on the table. Looks like he's going to be diving off the ladder while holding the chair - and he does! Edge climbs ladder, Edge holds chair, chair hits Taker, Taker goes through table. Clever of Edge to take away the Cell advantage Undertaker has by bringing in stuff that's to his advantage, i.e. the Ts Ls and Cs. 

 

Edge tries for a Conchairto, but is stopped by another Chokeslam attempt - stop teasing me, guys - and a punch in the face. Undertaker has bought some time but he's still struggling. Edge is on the apron again and a big boot sends him into the side of the Cell.

 

Steps to the head - unprotected, it looked like, improbably as that might have been in 2008 - and it's Taker in control… but not for long! He's just been thrown into the ring post and OH! OH! Edge just threw himself at Taker and drove them both THROUGH the Cell with a Spear! That panel of the Cell came clean off! Big crowd reaction for that one, and they're fighting outside now.

 

'The hell's not only in the Cell, the hell's out here!' is quite a good line from Tazz, as they brawl by the announce tables. TV monitor to the head of Taker, and another. Undertaker's on one announce table, Edge is on another, and Edge just speared him through the third and final table! Kind of saw that coming, but oof!

 

Taker, though, manages to sit up first and continues the brawl. This has been good so far but it doesn't quite have the… I don't know what it is, the intangible somethingness - of the HBK Cell match (much as I'd like it to). However, probably the best match I've watched in the project since… maybe as far back as 1994, actually, give or take the odd cracking opener I've opted for.

 

We're back in the ring now, and Taker's been hit with a ladder and a camcorder for a 2 count. Edge has a nasty looking red patch on his side which looks very sore. He goes for the Spear, and Taker hits a CHOKESLAM!

 

Summerslam project Chokeslam count: 3.

 

Only gets a 2. Edgecution/Impaler does likewise, Taker then goes for the Last Ride but Edge gets out of it and hits a Spear for another 2. Edge gets him in the corner and climbs the turnbuckle to do some punches which was a stupid move because it's practically begging for a Last Ride, which he gets for another 2. None of these finishers have really felt like the finish so far, I've not quite bought into any as match enders. It's going to take a big object-assisted Spear from Edge or a Tombstone to end this one.

 

Speaking of Tombstones, Undertaker just tried for one on the steps but Edge got out of it again and threw him down onto the top of the steps. Edge tries to go for Old School and gets some big boos OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE JUST GOT A TOP ROPE CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TWO TABLES SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING OOHHHHHHH!

 

Summerslam project Chokeslam count: 4. Though that one should count for at least 5 by itself, that was immense. It gets better the more replays they show. Brilliant chokeslam, Edge just goes flying through the air and through those tables. Great move.

 

Undertaker then hits a spear of his own, and after a JR line about 'HD' standing for 'Human Devastation', Taker hits Edge with a Conchairto! But he's still not finished! Tombstone! This is surely it. No way's Edge kicking out of all of that, nope, there's the 3 and Undertaker has won it!

 

We cut to Vickie and gang again, and even Neely's clap is crap. Back to the ring please.

 

Taker clambers through the remains of the tables and out up the aisle, where he looks up at Edge stirring in the ring on-screen, so he goes back to finish the job. He's set up a ladder, and sets Edge up upon it. He's kind of prone, and yet standing on the ladder. Taker gets a second ladder, and this seems to be taking an awful lot of setting up. Taker climbs the other side of the first ladder and seems to be shouting stuff at Edge but because this is pre-mic-ing stuff that gets said in the ring, we don't hear it. Lots of quick cuts to the iconic bits of Undertaker's entrance video while the in-ring stuff starts to look like the 'scary slightly blurry' Peter Jackson filming style. He then chokeslams Edge off the ladder and THROUGH the ring!

 

Summerslam project Chokeslam count: 5.

 

That'd have been quite an impressive ending, but as I was typing the above, the hole in the ring where Edge fell just ERUPTED in flames. ENGULFED. JR's shouting about how Undertaker's sent Edge to hell, but that didn't sit right at all, the pre-match video did a good job but Taker's basically murdered Edge by burning him alive there. Aside from wondering how they explained that away on the next edition of SmackDown, I don't care for that at all… I enjoyed the match, but I think that ending's ruined it for me. Unnecessary.

 

My thoughts:

 

Good match, one of the better ones I've watched for this project, though it doesn't hit the heights of my favourite Cell matches, or the Taker/Edge match from WrestleMania earlier in 2008. A few moments where it didn't really feel like it was clicking, but then other moments where it was really great (that chokeslam through the tables was excellent). Would have been quite happy with it overall if it hadn't been for that very last thing where Edge got incinerated under the ring. No need. I've never liked that sort of over-the-top thing - in wrestling (Survivor Series 2000, I'm looking at you) or elsewhere (still can't watch Home Alone, I can't watch those two guys suffer multiple agonising deaths even if they're supposed to be bad) and this was a case in point. Chokeslam off a ladder through the ring would have been quite enough without literally (not literally literally because obviously he must have lived, but literally, within the context of the show, literally) killing Edge with fire. That's kind of soured me on the whole thing, which is a shame.

 

wwe-summerslam-1798275.jpg

 

Storyline-wise, Edge is in the middle of all those flames.

 

I'm not convinced it's even that impressive a visual. Plus, in finding that image, I find this article, in which WWE are genuinely blamed for causing someone's death due to the pyro and effects used in this show: http://www.sportskeeda.com/wwe/wwe-named-as-defendant-in-a-recent-lawsuit. I don't imagine anything came of that, but I'd not heard that one before.

 

Anyway, so strange that you can't have either guy bleed during the match but you can have one KILL THE OTHER WITH FIRE. I know it's just an effect, I know Edge was fine, but that's still so much worse it beggars belief. Ridiculous.

 

I wish I wasn't going on about this last bit so much - especially as it isn't even technically part of the match - but that's what I'll associate this match with now, rather than the enjoyable half-hour they were actually wrestling, and I really didn't like that last impression. I hope they don't do this at the 2015 Summerslam as a way of writing Brock off TV.

 

 

 

 

No review tomorrow as I'm at a wedding, but I'll be back on Sunday with 2009, where I hope to pick a match where people are happy just to win by pinning their opponents or something.

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 - But he snogged someone else. Looked to be Kristal. Or maybe that thin one whose name I still don't remember.

 

I'm 99% sure the "wedding planner" was the first on-screen role of Alicia Fox.

 

As Taker hits his apron dropkick, we get a shot of Vickie watching the match backstage, with Chavo, Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, and Bam 'fucking hell, was he still around by Summerslam?' Neely, whose name I sadly do remember.

 

Of all the guys that did anything in either WCW or ECW that I forget actually did anything for WWE, Roadkill is pretty high on the fucking list, to be honest. I mean, I missed big swathes of 2006-2010 but I'm still shocked by some of the stuff I've forgotten.

 

This has been good so far but it doesn't quite have the… I don't know what it is, the intangible somethingness - of the HBK Cell match (much as I'd like it to).

 

Oooooooshk. This might seem like a thread hijack, and I don't mean it to, but the two are not comparable.

 

Undertaker vs Edge is a match that had happened a fair few times by SummerSlam 2008, not least at WrestleMania, but in various forms over a period of years. The two had had interactions in the ring dating back to Undertaker and Kane taking the tag belts from Edge and Christian and even before that with the "brothers" being in Undertaker's Ministry before they kicked the Brood out for being too popular or something. So, the two of them having a match wasn't that special. Even by 2008, I'd argue that Hell In A Cell wasn't that special anymore, even if The Undertaker vs Edge in Hell In A Cell was a unique and unprecedented match to draw buys with.

 

The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels at Badd Blood/In Your House in October 1997 is a match that people were dying to see. They had been cornerstones of the company for years, with Shawn occupying a top spot and Undertaker having been that guy with the air of invincibility. Their first match at Ground Zero had taken precedence over a WWF title defence and seemed liked a gigantic deal, but had finished in a dissatisfying non-finish. The rematch was almost guaranteed to give us something decisive, and we were all baying for it. I was 15, and I couldn't sleep the night of that show.

 

Plus, this was the first Hell In A Cell. We didn't know what to expect. The little vignettes of it being made... yeah, they scared me a bit. The whole build to the match seemed to be the WWF saying to HBK, "You're going to get what's coming to you, you utter cunt." Everything that happened between SummerSlam and the night of the match, I remember building gradually to this feeling of "I HAVE to watch this match. Something fucking horrible is going to happen." That's how I felt watching the match, as a Bret Hart loyalist and kid that hated Shawn, I thought "Something terrible is going to happen here and I need to see it." The match was almost unique in its intrigue in that it was two major main event talents in only their second televised match going out there in a completely new type of match - you didn't know what to expect except you knew you had to see it. The match holds up today in terms of drama and storytelling and really pisses on any match they've had in the Cell since. It breaks my fucking heart that they have hosted a PPV with feuds getting to the point of needing a Hell In A Cell for no better reason than "it's October and that's when we have Hell In A Cell" when THAT MATCH was the genesis of the whole match type because they needed to pen those two men in and give us a decisive winner. Honestly, at the time "Shawn vs Undertaker and this time someone definitely wins because its in a massive fuck off cage" felt bigger than WrestleMania to me.

 

So...  no, Undertaker/Edge at SummerSlam 2008 is not going to have the intangibles of Shawn/Undertaker.

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I know all that, don't panic! I forgot to say right at the start of my post, where I mention I'm interested in the match because it's got two of my favourites in it, that I was going to be naturally inclined to compare it to the Michaels one, because that was also a Cell match that featured two of my favourites. That was all - approaching both out of context (one because it's seven years ago and I've never seen it, the other because I wasn't watching when it was in context and knew nothing of the build up the first time I saw it - so those weren't the intangibles I was consciously referring to), my mind would feel the urge to compare the two due to their similarities - Undertaker + smaller opponent I like + big cage with a roof. You can't realistically compare 2008 Undertaker to 1997 Undertaker by himself, let alone the other factors. And the 1997 match is one of my all time favourites so I just wondered whether this one might hold a candle to it! (It didn't.)

Oh, plus the fact I compare every Cell match to Michaels-Taker, because it's still the best one.

And Bam Neely was a different person to Roadkill, wasn't he?

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I love that Taker/Edge HIAC match, the last good one where the gimmick was used properly. Plus an interesting fact; Edge and Taker were told just before going out there, ' Oh btw, we going PG so', so they had to adjust some things themselves.

 

Worked out fine though.

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And Bam Neely was a different person to Roadkill, wasn't he?

Yeah, it's a common mistake though.

 

Roadkill did adopt a very similar look to Neeley down in OVW, as "Anthony Pulanski" or something like that, and quite possibly did a similar bodyguard gimmick.

 

He did main roster dark matches like that, but never appeared on TV as anything other than Roadkill.

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I'm going with Carbomb's Choice for Summerslam 2009 - D-Generation X vs. Legacy. Hopefully DX won't take inspiration from the previous year's event and fire a tank missile at Cody and Ted or run them over with a tank or anything.

 

 

The match:

 

We are now longer in the era of the lovely green and blue Summerslam logo. My generation's time is over.

 

Backstory time! Once again, there's about ten minutes from now until the match itself begins.

 

Right, so Legacy, being Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr, keep preventing Triple H from getting the World title back. Triple H makes some cryptic hints to bringing in Shawn Michaels to help out. Montage of lots of wacky DX 'highlights'. Bloody hell, that 2006 run was a bit shit, wasn't it? And not just for the parts that involved actual shit.

 

Their wacky re-reunion is spoiled by Legacy, however. Serious music plays. Wacky time is over. The music choice is all wrong but the footage is good. I actually kind of feel for Rhodes and DiBiase here, as Ted tells them "we are ready". These two blokes come in acting like idiots and get all the limelight, and Cody and Ted, two young hard workers trying to become the future, feel hard done by. (I don't think this was their actual motivation but this is what I read into it from the build-up video). Video ends.

 

DX's entrance is ridiculous here. Loads of green pyro, then a load of army guys drive in in a truck and fire machine guns into the arena, then run off like they're in the Hurt Locker or something. Then Triple H and Shawn come out on a fricking TANK.

 

A TANK.

 

dx-summerslam-2009.jpg

 

It's a great visual. They then FIRE the tank. Fuck, this is going to end with Legacy perishing in an explosion of fire and shrapnel. Just like when Edge was murdered in cold blood on screen last year. :( .

 

Was Edge on this card? Wait, don't answer that, clearly not, BECAUSE HE WAS BURNED TO DEATH LAST YEAR.

 

I'm still annoyed about that ending.

 

Anyway, the tank. It's almost, but not quite, as good as this:

 

anigif_enhanced-5284-1427679713-17.gif

 

Rusev's greatest moment. That's not the same tank, is it? I'd love to think there's a Tank Area somewhere in a corner of the WWE Warehouse where they keep them all.

 

This DX entrance goes on for-fucking-EVER. For a group that ask if we're ready so much, they don't half drag things out. The crowd is loving it, though.

 

Oh, no, wait, the music's stopped but they haven't finished yet, Triple H has got a microphone. It's very polite of Legacy to wait for all this to happen before they come out. You'd think a pair of hungry young up-and-comers who jumped DX during their reunion not twelve hours ago in the pre-match video would be more eager to get going.

 

Triple H promises a war, which is quite serious and cool, then they do the Suck It routine, which is not quite as serious, but the audience still find it cool. Shawn would probably use that tank to pleasure-kill wild animals. I'm going to try not to let those trophy hunting pictures influence my opinion of him, but I really hate trophy hunting, so as fucking great as he is in the ring, it might.

 

Legacy are finally out! They're looking to cement their legacy. The Legacy legacy. Or the legacy of Legacy. What was Legacy's legacy, actually? Cody's Stardust and Ted's all but forgotten.

 

And we're off! HHH and Ted start, and Triple H has the first advantage with a beautiful right hand. DiBiase's strategy in the early going is to corner Triple H, which isn't a bad idea, but he breaks out of it with a clothesline and a suplex, and then the knee drop. Everything Triple H has done so far looks so crisp / smooth / fluid / precise / perfectly executed. It's a very different Triple H to the one 10 years ago in the other match from him I've watched, and I like it.

 

Shawn is now tagged in, they do a lovely exchange of whips and leapfrogs, Shawn tries to cut Cody off with his clever veteran-ness, Cody slaps him and Shawn takes him down and lays into him, then gives him a slap back. As with his partner, everything Michaels has done so far has been so crisp / smooth / fluid / precise / perfectly executed. But Legacy are holding their own against two of the best.

 

The more I see the new Summerslam logo on the ring apron the more it grows on me. It looks summery. But it's not a patch on ol' green and blue, which is tied for the WrestleMania X-Seven - XIX one for 'favourite PPV logo ever'. There's a Liam O'Rourke podcast topic for when he gets desperate and runs out of ideas!

 

DiBiase's in again now, and is being chopped at by Shawn, but Ted gets the advantage by sending Shawn to the opposite corner for the flippy turnbuckle thing and a clothesline. He was really bland, was Ted Jr, but he looks great here despite that. Cody in with a slam and a knee to Michaels. I forgot that Cody never used to wear kneepads, and always thought that couldn't be doing his knees any good at all. I assume he wears them under the Stardust costume now? DiBiase in again to wear HBK down with a headlock. It sounds like Shawn's just come back off a hiatus, possibly following the Undertaker match at WrestleMania?

 

Triple H back in - which is surprising, I was expecting Shawn to be beaten down a bit longer. Weird to think Shawn was retired less than a year after this. Triple H gets the upper hand on both Legaceers and tries for a Pedigree on Ted, but Cody breaks it up, so Shawn chucks him out of the ring, then Triple H back body drops Shawn over the top rope which turns into a flip dive on Rhodes…. unfortunately allowing DiBiase to take Triple H out. Cody tagged in and HHH is grounded. They're doing the tried and tested Frequent Tags routine - "perfect tag team strategy", points out Jerry Lawler, who's commentating with Michael Cole, and Triple H is completely cut off now.

 

Ted's got Triple H in a chinlock, and he's stretching out to reach for Shawn for the tag but just juuuust can't make it, which is again tried and tested tag team stuff but it works really well here. Cody tags in and hits a DDT for 2. Lawler points out that Cody made sure to get between Michaels and Triple H when he got in, which is another sensible move. This is an excellent tag team match, the best tag match I've watched in this project since Bulldogs vs. Rougeaus.

 

Triple H manages to back body drop Rhodes, but doesn't have the energy to do anything but crawl to the corner… he would have made it but Ted (in again) knocks Michaels off the apron! HHH and DiBiase go punch for punch, I wonder what a HHH vs. DiBiase Sr match would have been like, and Ted's thrown over the top rope. Triple H begins to crawl again and the crowd are begging for him to reach Michaels, meanwhile Cody's desperate for Ted to tag him, which he does, but Triple H reached Michaels and he's in as well! Forearm! Kip up! But DiBiase took him out from behind! I'm sure this is leading to a DX win (can't actually remember) but they're really having to work for it. Triple H takes DiBiase out on the outside while inside the ring, Cody goes up to the top rope (Cole says he's not known as a high flyer but I'm sure he was doing moonsaults and stuff back before he was tagging with Hardcore Holly so that's a lie) and tries an elbow but it misses, Shawn goes up for one of his own but is cut off.

 

Cole calls his a career making match for Rhodes and DiBiase. Not a bad call, but it's hard to say, at least as far as Cody goes. This is probably one of his very best matches (along with the Battleground 2013 one), but despite that prolonged singles run ('Dashing' to 'bringing the prestige back to the Intercontinental Title') from 2010-2012ish, he's always been at his best in tag teams, I've felt. Legacy, Rhodes Scholars, Dust Brothers…

 

It's all broken down in the ring while I've been typing that, and Triple H has hit the Pedigree on Cody after (I think) HBK got hit with Cross Rhodes, Ted then hit Dream Street on him too before Triple H took him out by tackling him over the announce table. Rhodes and Michaels both sloooowly get up… and SWEET CHIN MUSIC outtanowhere! 1, 2, 3, DX win! What a great match!

 

My thoughts:

 

That was really, really good. I liked that a lot. Excellent match. Well-structured tag match, with four great performances from each of the competitors. It was maybe a bit obvious that DX were going to win, but that's the only minor nitpick I could have from that. And nobody got blown up with the tank or had to be set on fire afterwards, UNDERTAKER. Definitely in the top 5 matches I've watched for this project, and probably top 3.

 

Thanks Carbomb!

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No problem, HG! I loved reading that. If I was one of those people who was good at that sort of thing, I'd probably put that match into a compilation of my favourite matches ever.

 

I used to disagree with the assertion that the best kind of match was a classic, well-paced tag match, but DX vs. Legacy changed my mind - I'm not so certain now.

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