Adoption (and wrestling)

[4chords]

The Mrs and me have found out that we have a very low chance of having kids naturally and have taken the big decision to adopt.  Has anyone on this forum ever adopted a child?

 

I know this sort of shit should be posted on specialist forums, but I'd really love to know if anyone on has been in the same position as us.  Big time wrestling fans, we probably wouldn't have started going out originally if she hadn't noticed that I was reading one of the Mick Foley autobiographies.  We have replica belts hanging on the wall from special occasions (birthday, wedding present) as well as a massive collection of books and DVDs.  Walking in to our house, it's hard not to notice.  We're not ashamed of it, but looking at it from the other point of view, I'm not sure a social worker is really going to be that keen to place a child in our hands if they see all the stuff with angry faces and half naked blokes.

 

My gut reaction is that we're going to have to get rid of most of it, but if anyone has any experience of being in a similar situation, I'd be grateful if you could share it on here.

[KingofSports]

Whilst it's not a position I have been or ever will be in & for the purposes of this particular conversation, I don't think that necessarily matters, my advice would be to follow your instinct & perhaps, for the short-term at least, tame it down or put it in storage. Unless pressed, I don't discuss my love of wrestling, essentially on the grounds that it's a no-win. Most people will switch to the default positions of; 'bless him, he thinks it's real', 'oh dear, what a shame, he's a bit backward' or humour you by introducing Big Daddy or Hulk Hogan into the conversation. Even if I had the time or the energy to correct them, it just isn't worth the effort, despite the fact that the stuff I watch tends to be at the more legit' end of the scale. The general perception is; that it's for kids or immature adults / idiots. In your case & particularly with the way things are these days, any notion that you maybe into violence or at least a violent sport and/or combined with the above, could possibly count against you. In view of your long-term goal, is it really worth taking that risk?

[FLips]

It's probably hyperbolic, but the news currently has that story of the 18 month old being Last Rided to death so I imagine there's a bit of a sour taste when it comes to young kids and wrestling at the minute. I'd do what KoS said and maybe put it in storage for now and tone it down.

[sockospice]

I'm a social worker, have worked in adoption. It would be a talking point but that's all. Have met and assessed adoptive and foster parents with all sorts of interesting hobbies. Would probably make a good talking point actually as a starting point for how to manage difficult subjects/situations etc. 

Honestly, you lay bare every part of your life in the adoption assessment process, right down to how you got together as a couple, so it'll come up at some point anyway.

 

Good luck!

[KingofSports]

As long as it's not the wrestling equivalent of this.

 

[Thunderplex]

Adoption is one of the most selfless acts you can do. We discussed it, but unfortunatly I don't think I'd be able to throw myself ino it 100%. We have one child of our own, and although I would try to call everything completely down the middle, I feel in my heart I would be biased towards my own, which would be unfair on the child.

 

Well done to your wife and yourself for taking these steps, and best if luck with the process. Thousands of kids out there need loving homes.

[MungoChutney]

I work with families and have worked with adoptive parents in the past.  As I understand it the initial part of the adoption process comprises of a great deal of information gathering and that will include your hobbies.  Be honest with them about and be honest with yourself if it's something you'll need to rein in a bit if you were to adopt a child.  The change in free time and finances when you have a child can be quite surprising but again this should all be covered during the process.

 

Good luck with it all.

[truthofsin]

Pro wrestling at it's heart is good old fashioned family entertainment, and it is a passion of yours. While i wouldn't waste my breath on why it is so good to most people who 'don't get it'. In this instance i wouldn't see your love of it as being a problem and it would be worth the explanation. It's storytelling about good vs bad, with larger than life heros. WWE itself preaches anti-bullying and it's PG product. Ok, the lines get blurred sometime, but it isn't a bad thing for kids to be in to. Hell, when i was a kid and going through rough times. That fantasy world of wrestling was a great escape for me. I can think of a hundred things worse for a child to be exposed to. I tjink hiding the memorabilia and what have you away wouldnt be a good move. As this is a lifetime commitment and they will expect 100% honesty from you about who you are, on every level.

[4chords]

Thanks for all the comments and support.  We attended our first workshop today, which dealt a lot with child abuse.  I'm one of those people who will read the headlines of a new story, but not read the facts directly (I'm guessing in order to protect myself), so some of it was pretty hard to listen to.  Though from some of the stories we were told, being wrestling fans doesn't sound half as bad as some of the hobbies that other people that want to adopt have.

 

Anyway, we've had the chat, and although it will be sad to see a lot of it go, we feel it will be best for the child we adopt if we get rid of most of it.  Like socko and Mungo say, we have to be completely honest, so we won't be hiding anything when the social worker comes to visit us.  But the truth is, we won't have as much time on our hands to be watching DVDs or reading books, and even then, most of the stuff is now available on the Network.  

 

This will probably mean a few posts in the classified session in the near future, so if anyone has their heart set on a cheaply produced DVD with a main event of UK Kid vs D'Lo Brown, then please let me know!