What sort of booker would you be?

[tiger_rick]

I'd be Vince Russo. I hate to admit it but I would. I'd throw everything I had at the company in four weeks and be completely fucked.

I realise this from watching the more tedious episodes of Raw when I really crave some utter madness to break things up. If the WWE TV writers handed me one of their typical scripts, they'd get it back with red pen all over it like bad homework.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan - Sounds shit, have Harper come up through the canvas and kill them both.

R-Truth vs. Stardust - Sounds shit, stick a stripper on a pole.

Rollins vs. Ambrose - I've seen this one. Stick them in a cage surrounded by barbed wire and while they're killing each other, cut to a diva in the shower.

John Cena open challenge - Have Jeff Jarrett answer it and win the title.

Reigns & Orton vs. Kane & Big Show. Turn Roman Reigns heel on Orton. Turn him back next week.

New Day vs. Cesaro & Kidd. Scrap that. Have Ryback black up and pretend to join the New Day. Swerve.

Barrett promo. Fuck that, Hit CM Punk's music. Have a midget walk out drinking Pepsi.

Sheamus re-debut. Give him a stable. "Irish Rasslin Associates". Make Neville and Heath Slater practice saying "Top of the morning".

[Carbomb]

I didn't think I was, but according to consensus on here, I'm probably a low-rent Vince Russo.

 

What I'd like to be is a peak ECW Heyman for the midcard, and a Smoky Mountain Cornette for the main event.

[Dr.PeterVenkman]

I'd just book the Divas' and shock everyone by having Emma win the title and go over absolutely everyone, not related at all to the fact I'd be giving her one every night

 

Other than that I'd just sit in booking meetings joining in with the others in laughing at Ziggler and calling him a prick

[Chest Rockwell]

Even your fantasy booking for the economy in the Election thread was bad, Carbomb

[ColinBollocks]

80s Vince is my bag. All I really want from wrestling is big mad looking bastards being outrageous and smacking each other about because somebody acted the cunt (basically Marvel does wrestling).  It's why Ryback would have a Lou Thesz length World title reign in my company.

 

Anybody with cool ring gear would get a contract.

[pryko]

I'd just book the Divas' and shock everyone by having Emma win the title and go over absolutely everyone, not related at all to the fact I'd be giving her one every night

Yup.  This would be my idea of great booking too.

[Juan Manforce]

If my TEW games are any indication, I'd be a schizophrenic booker.

• On an 8 match card I seem to have interference in 3 of them.
• Titles getting hot-shotted (5 tag title changes in 2 months for example, including 3 in 8 days) one minute then not changing often enough the next (eg. a Randy Orton 17 month WHC reign, I'm not proud of it).
• Trying to portray an edgy, grounded and realistic product full of supernatural and wacky characters.
• Stupid comedy that only I'd find funny. Like I booked Santino Marella to break the Honky Tonk Man's IC title record back when he was doing the Honk-a-Meter, and claiming to have become the first ever Intergalactic Intercontinental Champion when he travelled to space and defeated the Moon. Cue photos of him on "the Moon", pinning it while a referee in a striped spacesuit counts the fall. He would later go on to feud with Shawn Michaels and claim to be "un-superkick-able", using a lot of counters any time anyone attempted a superkick, and coming up with an excuse for why it didn't count any time he did eat one. With the way superkicks are abused these days, I think that would be a great comedy heel gimmick, but it'd take the right person to do it justice.
• A roster so big a lot of guys would go forgotten for months on end then get a push of nowhere. Basically if you weren't being built up or you weren't on the next PPV card you'd be lucky to get a TV only storyline for a few weeks, otherwise you'd be a sporadic JTTS with very little promo time or character development.
• Fucktons of heel stables.
• Planning elaborate storylines long in advance and being very stubborn about changing things if they're not working. Also only plotting out the major story points and booking repetitive garbage until reaching them.

I love to think I could be a great booker. I know I wouldn't be. Still, it's one of my dreams to be able to do it on some level.

[Bosco Blick]

I'd be a T.

[air_raid]

I'd be a ludicrously predictable old school booker where ultimately I've decided six months in advance what matches I want to put on at my next "end of chapter" PPV and gradually build to them.

 

Then shit myself when someone integral gets injured or gets himself sacked, turn someone whether it makes sense or not, and end up with something as thrown together as WrestleMania 13. Without the submission match.

[Tommy!]

I'd be a T.

I think you missed "it" out there.

[Big Benny HG]

I'd probably book a card like this, purely for my own amusement:

 

Loser Has To Change Their Name To 'Light Drizzle':

Lance Storm vs. James Storm vs. Jonny Storm vs. Quiet Storm vs. Jack Storm vs. Nikki Storm

 

'Not Enough Names in BritWres' 12 man tag:

Dan James, Jekkel, Dan Evans, Peter Nixon, Jynx & Johnny Love vs. Dan James, Jekkel, Dan Evans, Peter Nixon, Jynx & Johnny Love

 

'Bill Diarrhoea Guest Match':

Johnny Mossad & 'Wrestling's Only Librarian Tag Team' the Miracle Silence Connection vs. The Wrestling Pork Scratching & The Pantomime Cow

 

Jack Toxic vs. Toxic Jack

 

Doug Williams vs. Local Jobber #2

[King Pitcos]

At this point, I don't know. I'd definitely do more promos and backstage skits, one of the C shows might even consist solely of them. I'd decide my PPV matches months in advance and just bark at the writers to come up with ways to build them that don't involve the two guys wrestling each other every week on TV. Then criticise the stuff they come up with.

 

I'd probably look to Raw in 2000 for influence.

 

 

Even your fantasy booking for the economy in the Election thread was bad, Carbomb

 

I didn't read the thread, but even without context this post has cracked me up. Great stuff.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

WWF in 2000 might be the best they've ever been. The storylines just seemed brilliant. The roster was just shockingly good. I'd even look forward to Sunday Night Heat on Channel 4 because you'd get these odd little feuds like Tazz vs the Mean Street Posse. Its odd, because as much as I loved Stone Cold, his return seemed to happen at the exact moment Raw and Smackdown started getting to be a struggle to watch.

[gadge]

I'd probably book a card like this, purely for my own amusement:

 

Loser Has To Change Their Name To 'Light Drizzle':

Lance Storm vs. James Storm vs. Jonny Storm vs. Quiet Storm vs. Jack Storm vs. Nikki Storm

 

'Not Enough Names in BritWres' 12 man tag:

Dan James, Jekkel, Dan Evans, Peter Nixon, Jynx & Johnny Love vs. Dan James, Jekkel, Dan Evans, Peter Nixon, Jynx & Johnny Love

 

'Bill Diarrhoea Guest Match':

Johnny Mossad & 'Wrestling's Only Librarian Tag Team' the Miracle Silence Connection vs. The Wrestling Pork Scratching & The Pantomime Cow

 

Jack Toxic vs. Toxic Jack

 

Doug Williams vs. Local Jobber #2

Not just your amusement. Someone please come pick me up off the floor!

[UK Kat Von D]

I'd be a cross between between all the best bookers of all time, but pick up their worst qualities. I'd have the passion and drive of a young Heyman, but ignore everyone and just do what I want like a senile McMahon. I'd throw around money like an Bischof, while snorting coke off my mate's wives ass. I'd go mental at the wrestlers and slap them about like a Cornette too.

 

The promotion would be a great success for two years before collapsing on itself in a mess. When I come out of rehab I'd have a podcast where I talk about the glory days and pretend I have one last run left in me. All of this while hoping nobody notices I've just nicked stories from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia