Paid Members John Matrix Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 So i'm sitting at home minding my own business when apropos of nothing, a song pops into my head and continues to loop for a good 45 minutes.  "Milk bottle tops and paper bags, iron bedsteads dirty old rags...." I remembered those lyrics and tune clear as day but couldn't for the life of me remember where from. Only when I googled it, was I reminded that it's actually a song we used to sing back in primary school which starts as an innocuous tale about littering before the inevitable Jesus reference..  "Help us, lord ,to find each day Ways to help to keep away That litter off the pavement, That rubbish off the beach."  So it got me thinking, aside from the songs of praise shite there were a few belters I remember, Lord of the Dance being a particular favourite, upbeat little number which we subsequently chose for our wedding service on the grounds that I could actually sing along to it.  "Who built the ark, NOAH, NOAH" (or NO ONE, NO ONE, if you were hard like me..) was another corker too.  So any fond memories of songs from school assemblies and lyrics projected onto the wall by OHP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 I was always fond of Triple H's favourite, "If I Had A Hammer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted April 28, 2015 Moderators Share Posted April 28, 2015 Â Â "Help us, lord ,to find each day Ways to help to keep away That litter off the pavement, That rubbish off the beach." Â Â Â Â These lyrics are amazing. Who writes this shit? Â That "were you there, were you there" song is the one that comes to mind immediately for me. Man. Assembly was so tedious and pointless. I had forgotten all about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 We used to have a rebellious rendition of the Womble's theme song in assembly. Â "Underground, overground, shagging a tree The Wombles of Wimbledon, come and shag me" Â Edit: I now also remember 'Cross over the road my friend' which was (hilariously of course) changed as well. Â "Cross over the road my friend "A 10 tonne lorries coming round the bend "If you want your life to end "Cross over the road" Â We once had to sing about 10 songs at an assembly so they could record it and try and flog the CD to our parents. I got removed at about song 5 by the head teacher for singing lyrics such as these and they threateend to tell my gran who was a former teacher there. Alas, the end of the halcyon assembly years for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merzbow Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" is the stand out for me, it must have been around year 5 when Cantona and crew were on top of the premiership and we had a Yank teacher that took great offense when the entire school started singing "Glory, Glory, Man United" instead of the real words. She'd threaten us all with detention but I don't think anyone gave a toss as we just carried on time after time until she started screaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015  Assembly was so tedious and pointless. I had forgotten all about it.  I can never forget assembly because of the day my best mate fainted.  We were singing Ding Dong Merrily On High - the one where you have to add "la la la la" to the word "Gloria" to make it last about an hour before adding "Hosanna in excelsis!" and well, I guess Chris must have just forgotten to breathe, because at the peak of "la la la" he dropped to the floor at my feet like a sack of spuds.  The teachers ran around in a mad panic. The other lads and I giggled and said "Get up, you saft twat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members garynysmon Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015  "Who built the ark, NOAH, NOAH" (or NO ONE, NO ONE, if you were hard like me..) was another corker too.  So any fond memories of songs from school assemblies and lyrics projected onto the wall by OHP?  We used to sing that but in Welsh.  "Pwy wnaeth yr arch, Noa, Noa, pwy wnaeth yr arch, ia Noa wnaeth yr arch."  Or something like that.  Its silly really how I can remember such nonsense from 25 years ago but studying for an exam is something I find almost impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQRyKMsp3pY Â I haven't thought about this song for 25 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon-Carr_92 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQRyKMsp3pY Â I haven't thought about this song for 25 years. My school used that one for the leavers assembly. I remember they made us do Close Every Door To Me from Joesph & The Technicolour Dreamcoat because they did a trip to see it at the local theatre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted April 28, 2015 Moderators Share Posted April 28, 2015 I did this topic a few years ago under the name "COME AND PRAISE" in tribute of the hymn book, and we all agreed this was the best song. Â Â And of course, the obligatory Teacher look of furious disdain after one too many "Of Kings." in Give me Oil in my Lamp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladiesman345 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 I always felt like crying whenever we sang Silent Night. It still makes me well up whenever I hear it today. Don't know why! I do remember a song we sang which had the lyrics " C. H. R. I S. T., he's the king of me, tralalalala, he's the King of the universe, the jungle and the sea!" We had fun little hand movements to it as well. The best bit of assembly was when the headmaster went to slice the haggis on Burns's day, and he ended up slicing his thumb. Jason the Malaysian pissed himself as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted April 28, 2015 Author Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 Heh, always tickles me the level of response some things I think are sheer lunacy can generate on here.  Glad to see some love for Were You There and Cross Over the Road, was going to give those a notable mention too. The other one I remember not liking especially, which lead to me being escorted out of the hall for laughing too loudly was Light Up The Fire...  Light up the fire, let the flame burn, open the door, let Jesus return.. Perfect comic timing as the maintenance men were using a blowtorch outside, much to the amusement of a young Matrix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 And of course, the obligatory Teacher look of furious disdain after one too many "Of Kings." in Give me Oil in my Lamp. Â I was terribly, terribly drunk, but I think that was the song that we were singing at Triple X years ago, to take the piss out of some wrestler who looked like Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted April 28, 2015 Author Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015 Double post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted April 28, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted April 28, 2015  And of course, the obligatory Teacher look of furious disdain after one too many "Of Kings." in Give me Oil in my Lamp. I was terribly, terribly drunk, but I think that was the song that we were singing at Triple X years ago, to take the piss out of some wrestler who looked like Jesus.  The return of Reason! I'm disappointed by the lack of When a Knight Won His Spurs. Surely that was the greatest hymn for young adventurous boys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.