Paid Members John Matrix Posted February 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted February 18, 2015 Born out of a conversation in the office this afternoon about the whole Eastenders live week, Lucy Beale killer reveal etc, it got me thinking about other soap storylines i'd like to see.  Apart from the ultimate fantasy of someone leaving a soap, and turning up in another as the same character, one very obvious scenario leapt out at me.  Sick of collecting market fees and taking abuse off a pair of tits clad in leopard print, one young Eastender decides that enough is enough.  Lacking direction, the young, intelligent, meek and mild young man flees Walford with a rucksack on his back, only to return several months later looking and behaving somewhat differently..      Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 Heartbeat's finished now, but I always wanted to see Nick Cotton playing Charles Manson, over on holiday in Yorkshire and getting up to mischief. Â Â "Helter Skelter, Ma." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.PeterVenkman Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Late night Eastenders with Lauren Branning getting her tits out, then again 17 year old me looked forward to Joanna Taylor shagging in a late night Hollyoaks but it ended up she was in a shower and you couldn't see anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 With a live episode, I'm hoping for a worked shoot, where Richard Blackwood interrupts the reveal of Lucy's killer to blast out a verse of 1, 2, 3, 4, Get With the Wicked before getting dragged off by that extra who looks like Ron Jeremy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members quote the raven Posted February 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted February 18, 2015 If there is a god that will happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 Nigel Bates to be unveiled as the Higher Power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glass Smash Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I would've liked to have seen them use Nick Cotton as a regular character with plenty of storylines instead of having him pop back every 7 years to poison his 'Ma' etc. John Altman is an underrated actor in my opinion. Damn Easties for killing him off last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 I always wished Eastenders had tried a supernatural angle. You could have Ian Beale attacked by a mystery assailant in the middle of the night by Arthur's Bench, which leads to him feeling strange and achy, and finding himself naked on the roof of the Arches one morning. Every full moon, one of the lower middle-card characters is found disembowled on the allotments, and Beales Place starts selling raw steaks, with Ian licking the blood from his fingertips like a fucking junkie. Lenny and Huw come back as werewolf hunters, like the Frog Brothers out of Lost Boys, but Lenny gets savaged and dies in Huw's arms. Even Phil gets the shits put up him when he hears a loud howling outside and is too afraid to look out of the curtains. Â This all builds towards a live episode where Walford's about to be plunged beneath a gigantic supermoon during a night-time outdoor street party to celebrate Alfie's death from nob-cancer. Â To keep it grounded in reality, they'd reveal that Ian Beale was just hallucinating like Joe Wicks ("ACE OF SPADES! ACE OF SPADES!") and only thought he was a werewolf, but actually had murdered all those people. As he's being carted off by the fuzz, Jules Tavernier (who came back to help Patrick wipe his arse after he has another stroke) turns to the camera and says "Yea mon!" and as he smiles, he reveals vampire teeth. Â *EASTIES DRUM FILL* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glass Smash Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 You can't beat Dallas though when they realised that they had made a total fuck up with Season 9 and they needed Patrick Duffy back on board so they just made out that the whole season was just Pam's dream so basically Season 10 picked up where Season 8 had ended.They lost millions of viewers after that. That's how you kill a popular soap. Fucking priceless.  But the JR Ewing character will always be the ultimate cunt of all time in soap. RIP Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted February 18, 2015 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 18, 2015  Jules Tavernier (who came back to help Patrick wipe his arse after he has another stroke) turns to the camera and says "Yea mon!" and as he smiles, he reveals vampire teeth.   Fucking nora. New keyboard please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 I always wished Eastenders had tried a supernatural angle. You could have Ian Beale attacked by a mystery assailant in the middle of the night by Arthur's Bench, which leads to him feeling strange and achy, and finding himself naked on the roof of the Arches one morning. Every full moon, one of the lower middle-card characters is found disembowled on the allotments, and Beales Place starts selling raw steaks, with Ian licking the blood from his fingertips like a fucking junkie. Lenny and Huw come back as werewolf hunters, like the Frog Brothers out of Lost Boys, but Lenny gets savaged and dies in Huw's arms. Even Phil gets the shits put up him when he hears a loud howling outside and is too afraid to look out of the curtains. Â This all builds towards a live episode where Walford's about to be plunged beneath a gigantic supermoon during a night-time outdoor street party to celebrate Alfie's death from nob-cancer. Â To keep it grounded in reality, they'd reveal that Ian Beale was just hallucinating like Joe Wicks ("ACE OF SPADES! ACE OF SPADES!") and only thought he was a werewolf, but actually had murdered all those people. As he's being carted off by the fuzz, Jules Tavernier (who came back to help Patrick wipe his arse after he has another stroke) turns to the camera and says "Yea mon!" and as he smiles, he reveals vampire teeth. Â *EASTIES DRUM FILL* Â Please say a come back for Alan Jackson as an everyman Steve Austin type to take on The Minutemart of Darkness. Â Â Â Â "JACKSON! JACKSON! JACKSON!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted February 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted February 18, 2015 Something to do with aliens in any soap would be fun. The Dingles being abducted, David Platt revealing he's actually an evil alien and wants to mate with Gail. Â A zombie outbreak in Holby City would also work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted February 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted February 18, 2015 I've got chest pains reading Astros posts in this thread. Fucking chest pains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 Please say a come back for Alan Jackson as an everyman Steve Austin type to take on The Minutemart of Darkness. Â My plans for Alan Jackson involve the build to the Halloween night special. Carol gets a phonecall from Up West where she's told "Big Black Alan is dead," and after the death of Billie, it's too much. She's hit so hard by the grief, that she gets on a bus out of Walford and goes to a nursing home, where she signs on the visitor's register. Â Â "Hello, Carol." Dr. Legg comes back to Walford, moving in with Carol, although some of his furniture, particularly one really massive wooden trunk, is so heavy that Ricky Butcher puts his back out lifting it out of the van, ruining the annual Walford 5-a-side football storyline. Â Legg's got a new hobbie where he's obsessed with the weather, and he's always doing experiments. He gets his new assistant, Felix the Jew, to install a giant lightning rod on Carol's roof, although Felix the Jew sadly falls onto his butterfly collection and is killed. "You can't make an omlette..." says Carol. Â Â RIPJ. Â On Halloween, Legg's in the caff and hears a weather report on the radio about a big storm that's on its way to Walford that night. He rushes home through the sheets of rain, past the flower stall, past Kat waving a Rampant Rabbit about like she's on a fucking hen night, and up the stairs to Carol's house. Moments later, BOOM, lightning strikes the metal rod on the roof. The residents of Walford all gather outside of Carol's gaff because of Dr. Legg's mad cackling through the attic window, and the front door suddenly explodes open, revealing... Â Â Legg's Monster (Legg is the name of the creator, not the monster) takes off down the square, to the canal where Dirty Den got shot. He goes to stroke Little Willy, but not realising his own strength, accidentally kills him. An outraged Billy Mitchell leads a mob after Big Green Alan, trapping him in the Vic, which they set on fire, killing him, as he asks "Woss goin' on?" with his final breath. Dr. Legg, watching from Carol's attic, sheds a single tear. As he wipes it away with his old finger, a butterfly lands on his fingertip. Legg grabs a shovel, and says "See you soon, old friend," at a black and white framed picture of Felix the Jew. Â *EASTIES DRUM FILL* Â Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted February 18, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 18, 2015 the annual Walford 5-a-side football storyline. Â The mid 90s rendition of this, where the Queen Vic win the Sunday League title is my favourite soap storyline ever. Nigel as manager wearing a shell suit almost as gaudy as his suits, Big Ron in goal, Arfur scoring the winner, and Eastenders' homage to classic British drama with Alan Jackson replacing "Talented black player has gyppo boots and is made fun off by richer lad who he doesn't like (in this case David Wicks)", a storyline first seen with Grange Hill's Benny Green in 1978. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.