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The worst feeling you've ever felt


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Ok, this isn't the worst, but it's certainly up there.


Early on last night, I had a rather colourful evening. I wasn't sure if I'd dropped a somewhat substantial bollock, and so decided to go out to have a few drinks and let off a bit of steam. While out, another gentleman was sick. He was sitting near the toilet, but instead overlooked this to run outside to sing a rainbow, and as he just made it outside his technicolor yawn sprayed forth, all over my shoes where I was standing outside having a fag. He continued to walk off the premise.


I shouted "OI!" after him, bent on satisfaction one way or another. I walked off the premise, in the hope of finding him, and with a star in his eye the doorman excitedly told me "he's just by there" on the other side of the gate. I get to near where he's doubled over, roll back my shoulders, raise my head high, and loosen my shoulders, and it's just as I firmly and loudly say "OI, Dickhead! Come here!" that I realise several things. He's 50, if he's a day, he's got a glass eye, he's still puking, he's fair smaller than me, and he's just noticed the gentleman who's shoe's he'd defiled. The bouncer, who'd obviously not had a chance to smash rodents into a brick wall that day and so had not had his daily fill of bloodlust piped up "Go on mate, fucking chin him. I would". The man walks towards me, panic in his eyes, which are wet with tears, getting out a large wad of cash. "Please mate, I'm sorry, I've got cash, I'll pay you, please mate, I'm sorry!" and it dawns on me. This old, small, half blind, full drunk man is fucking shit scared of me. To the extent he's offering me money, a lot of money, to spare him mercy. This realisation made me feel like a fucking monster, I don't want to hurt anyone, especially not a defenseless poor old man who's not tip top, especially to the point he's offering me all his cash. I actually felt like crying in frustation at this point that I could be seen in this way. I actually wanted to grab him and tell I'd never actually do anything to hurt him. That could be my father. Fuck, in 20 years, that could be me. I felt like a fucking coarse beast. I thought, and thought, and decided I'd found a way we could both save face. I sternly spoke up. "Right mate, I don't want your fucking money. I'm going back in there for a fag. I'm going to be back out in ten minutes, and you're not fucking going to be here. Fuck off home. We clear mate?". I didn't go back out in 10 mins. I didn't need to. I knew he wouldn't be there. But after it happened, it made me feel terrible. As weird as it sounds, I always thought it'd be kind of cool in a Film Baddy way to have someone cower and beg before you, but it wasn't. It was one of the most horrible feelings of my life. It's almost like "How can he think I'd hurt someone like him?", you almost feel offended. Then you think the other stuff "On the other hand, thank fuck it was me. What if someone beat him up, and took his money to boot? What if they stoved his head in, he's only one eye, he couldn't see it coming!". The whole incident's been giving me a sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach all night.


So yeah, worst feelings in the world? Preferably, somewhat surprising ones.

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I don't think anyone is following that one up.


I think the old guy is very lucky he ran into you and not gang of assholes that would have beaten him half to death and then stole his money. Bravo to the bouncer for trying to get the thing going, i had hoped the old bent nose thugs where a thing of the past. Clearly not.


Mine isnt as good as that at all but. 


About 3 years ago we decided to take my Son to Florida. He was 4 at the time, however he is severely disabled. Now i knew there might be problems with the 8 hour flight but figured he has as much right to be there as anyone else. Me being the way i am i sat in the departure lounge watching people getting on the plane. Spotting the ones that are likely to cause me problems. I spot a large Scottish gent knocking back whiskeys at 11am. Right he is the one, he says anything im killing him.


Its not a matter of if he does now. my brain is telling me he will. Well the flight went ok until the last 2 hours where my son didnt cope at all. Im feeling like a failure as a parent but we land and have a good holiday safe in the knowledge that i plane ride passed without comments  


Return flight my son is very good and sleep all the way home. But who do i see in the same spot? yeah drunk Scottish guy who is louder and more drunk than ever. About 4 am he gets up and heads my way, great im going to end u[ in jail for this one (again my brain sees no other outcome) He bends down and asks if he can have a word.


He asks about my sons condition, about how it affects him, then asks can i hug you. 


So there i am 4am in the middle of a plane hugging this guy i thought was a total tit, and yeah i was crying my eyes out. I never took his name and address as i should have as i wanted to send him something.


I should never had judged him for the way he looked, i never thought i was like that and it still feel bad for doing it.

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That was a bit of a punch in the gut, Butch. Reminded me of a similar situation I hadn't thought about in a long time, in which I behaved like a bully thinking it would be great to feel like a big man, but of course I just felt awful.


I guess I should take consolation in the fact that I did indeed feel awful, as I should.

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I completely agree about being the tough guy and having people cower to you is a horrible feeling, once you realise that's what's happening.

To let off steam I tend to watch shitty street fight videos and crap like that and it amazes me how people can just go around starting fights, and acting tough, like its nothing.


One of the worst feelings I've had happened quite recently.


(I will preface this by saying I am going to sound like a fucking wanker.)


I booked a hotel for me and a girlfriend for a late decision 2 night getaway in Bristol (I book 3 nights as I have stuff to do the first night then plan to go pick her up the second day.), I did it on the hotels app which has that disclaimer "rooms are subject to availability". I book an awesome double room which looks incredible.


I get there at like 9pm the first night after a long day of driving and meetings. Amazingly at this point a family and a couple of guys are entering, I go to the desk and give her my booking and she says "sorry we only have a twin room available to you."

I am quite knackered and explain how I booked the double and how ridiculous and shit it is.

She apologises and then directs me to the subject to availability part.

That is when I lose it (I don't swear) and say in what must be a menacing way to her.

(Not word for word but just an idea)

"Why would you even give me that option of a double room if you don't have it? What would be the point. Go get your manager as you seem utterly useless and there's no point me speaking to you. I am going to make a formal complaint. Yada yada yada."


She goes to get the manager and stands behind him whilst he is dealing with me, pretty much in tears. He says not to talk to his staff like that, this is where I get super pissed.

I turned to everyone around me and said "Did I swear at her? Did I say anything other than what was true." No one said a word except for one of the guys who weirdly stuck up for me!

I said to the manager about how if your policy is to screw people and lie, then that's not on me. And if your staff are this incompetent then you should get more, especially If they stand there crying over nothing. Over a complaint?!

Basically digging in to her for no real reason at this point.

I feel like that's where I became an utter cunt and sort of realised how shit I made her (and everyone else there) feel.


Luckily he explains there are no doubles tonight but tomorrow we can move you into one.


I take my key, I ask for the wifi code which he prints off and I snatch from his hand and he says as I'm walking away (I'm sure as a joke) is there anything else I can do for you?



I got to the room and my heart sank as to what I just did. I acted like those wankers I hate, and I made a girl cry! Over a bloody room when it was my fault anyway!


I couldn't concentrate or anything, I felt too bad. So I put my jacket on with the collars up so they wouldn't notice me when I walked past reception, went and bought flowers and chocolates and went to compose myself and gave them to her. She was an utter champ about it, said its okay and she understood my frustrations. WHICH MADE ME FEEL EVEN SHITTER!


People must get off on acting the way I did, I remember there was a show on channel4 about complainers. It just feels me with regret and a horrible feeling immediately after.

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Did you really buy the flowers and chocolates or do you just wish you did or felt like you should but were too embarrassed to do so?There needs to be less redemption in these terrible tales. Let's scrape that underbelly.

I did buy them, only from a tescos which happened to be right near.


It was such a horrible feeling I couldn't not do that, making a girl cry.. Is there anything worse? I did stop short of buying a card though. I tend not to get embarrassed that much, so that wouldn't have entered my mind.


The only other worst feelings I have really come from gambling back in the day (not gambled for a month. Yay me!). But they aren't exciting.

Though once I was in charge of booking a holiday for a few friends (back when I was 21) and I paid the deposit of about £400 and everyone gave me the money to pay off the whole thing. Which in total was about £2,000 but I was given about £1,000 as I said don't worry, pay me whenever and I decided "I can pay for this anytime, I may as well spend and gamble this and I could end up with way more money."... That did not happen, then it dawned on me that I had to pay from my own money, but being a fucking degenerate I thought "ok I could do that, or I could take my own £1,000 and win it back." Again... That did not happen. I lost the money again and had to pay what would have been £500 a total of about £2,500. I couldn't sleep for weeks. I couldn't look in the mirror, it was horrible.. Haven't told them since.


Gambling, don't do it!!

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Well this can lead to some interesting therapy, and I will apologise for the rambling.


May 2013 I get my first born, a girl. My parents, who I have always admired even for their flaws, I had told to go and see some friends for a few days prior to the birth as we didn't know when it was going to be. They were not sad to not be there, but obviously eager to see us first thing when they got home and we got release from hospital. Weirdly, my dad said we want to visit alone when no-one else is there.


2 days later we are allowed to come home, and my parents are driving back from York. I called them and said we should be ok for about 7pm. We got stuck in the hospital to be discharged so we got home about 6.30pm and my MiL and SiL both helped us bring everthing in and sort the dog while we were trying to get ourselves into our new life. At 7:05 I got a call from my Mum. "Were not coming round we'll be back tomorrow" I asked why and she had seen my sister in Laws car so decided to go home. I was dumbfounded, hearing the call and guessing what was going on, my MiL offered to leave straight away but my parents had made up their mind. I was heartbroken. I tried to call back, but they wouldn't answer. We later had a row that evening and my MiL who is so easy going has a feud with my parents (that they invented in their crazy heads) and that's why they wouldn't come in. Eventually my wife, who wanted to cut them off completely, agreed they could come back the next day. But our first night home as a family was ruined. On top of that, I blaimed my daughter in some kind of Post Natal Depression way (which I later found out, can hit men too)


They come round, all was ok, if a little tense but our relationship was never the same. Eventually, this led to a massive row where my mum, feeling she was being picked on, pulled out a prosthetic breast and rammed into my wife's face. My relationship with my parents died that night. August 2013. I have never spoken to my Dad again. My mum reached out the following January, but not to apologise, she wanted one, and she wanted to make sure she would get back the remaining £5k we owed which I had been paying back every month, even after the row. That night, I applied for a loan and paid them off.


That should be where I feel the worst right? And in a way I do because my children don't know their grandparents on my side. But the worst is finding out how many lies my parents had told me about not only close relatives and family but my own brother. I had cut people out of my life based on lies and mis-truths because I trusted them. My uncle, who I had been close to all my life I had disowned for 10 years, even keeping him away from my wedding due to an incident with my mum which did not happen as she claimed (and their were other witnesses).


The only good thing is I was able to make peace with a lot of people and have been welcomed back into a family I had basically disowned because I believed a liar, and my relationships with them and my own brother are better then they have ever been. More importantly, I learnt to be able to love my daughter and try to make up for lost times and when my son was born, did not make the same mistakes I did before.

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I was on holiday in Spain with friends. We were enjoying some dinner at a restaurant.  As I was looking out to the passing street I saw a kid, he must have been about 5, try and leap frog a bollard. He completely misjudged it, went arse over elbow, and smacked his head off the ground. I let out an audible laugh. As I did, I made eye contact with what I assume was the kids Mum.  I immediately felt like shit. As I'm a coward I tried to make out I was laughing at something else, so I just moved eye contact away from the mum and pointed to something else in the distance.  Asking my puzzled friends to look at the hilarious seagull I had just spotted.  


It got worse from there as the kid was knocked out, he wasn't getting up. People were calling for help, and the family was frantic. Eventually the Mum turned her attention to me, started shouting stuff in Spanish. I couldn't understand her, but looking at body language and tone I would guess it was along the lines of "you think this is funny, you fat prick" "laughing at my unconscious son, you're scum". Everyone in the restaurant was now looking at me, wondering what I had done. Instead of holding my hands up and trying to apologise.  I just gave the woman a confused look and shrugged my shoulders to the people around me, basically making me look oblivious to what has happened and her look like some crazy woman on the street that shouts at randoms.


Paramedics turned up and the kid was awake before left, so that made me feel a bit better.

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